this lurkive brought to you by

i am not going to say anything about loonyback.......i dont even pay attention to them, so yea. no comment......
d.t.f.
USA - Tuesday, January 28, 2003 at 17:23:06 (EST)

time for me to SKEEEEDADDLE! I'm out>>>>>~~~~~~~~~

Pssst! Hey kid!
Ya wanna play with my sock puppet?

WOOHOO! Lurk #22,000
Maybe it's time to add a touch more brown to the lurk too.

Eye gotta hand it to those gulag guys

when ya gotta go....

Fear not BSTC! I'll post a guard.
He's not to bright, but he is faithful

©
~~~STINKER~~~

@ the Local_grill~~~

U Ain't seen nuthin yet
USA - Tuesday, January 28, 2003 at 10:03:12 (EST)

---

Oh those troublesome closing bracket. least it weren't me this time.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, January 28, 2003 at 10:03:09 (EST)

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...er....how'd you do that...?
BSTC
USA - Tuesday, January 28, 2003 at 09:59:59 (EST)

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If i wanted eggplant serif italic type I would have written it into the script you design IDIOT!!!!!!
Benny Sizzler Technical Captain
USA - Tuesday, January 28, 2003 at 09:59:17 (EST)

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BASTARD BASTARD BASTARD!!!!!!!
BSTC
USA - Tuesday, January 28, 2003 at 09:57:47 (EST)

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sorry ;)
Oops
USA - Tuesday, January 28, 2003 at 09:57:08 (EST)

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~•••~~•••~~•••~~•••~~•••~~•••~
Weeeee!
USA - Tuesday, January 28, 2003 at 09:56:25 (EST)

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()_()
>>>--(*.*)---->
(.) (.)
(_)-(_)
Loco Spammer
USA - Tuesday, January 28, 2003 at 09:55:22 (EST)

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We can read typoneeze :Þ
Local Lu®ker
USA - Tuesday, January 28, 2003 at 09:52:07 (EST)

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That's right, I said "monring". SPALLCHECK!!!!!!!!!!
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, January 28, 2003 at 09:49:57 (EST)

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Hey Chef Bean E. Sissler, you have to go thru the 12 steps to rid your every pore of the lurk. You've got to grab the lord by the balls too. Good luck, you're hooked. Oh, and good monring all.
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, January 28, 2003 at 09:48:09 (EST)

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I Owe! I Owe! It's off to Wurk we go!


Local Lu®ker
Local, Local USA - Tuesday, January 28, 2003 at 09:46:38 (EST)

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Now I wanna be YOUR dog.....so come on.....
Chef
DE USA - Tuesday, January 28, 2003 at 09:37:06 (EST)

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one word- LIMBURGER!
stooges fan
USA - Tuesday, January 28, 2003 at 09:33:43 (EST)

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Phase II of the Blue-Screen-Meanies at Stepford Mortgage Co has just hit the e-mail. I fear my lurkability may be at stake. I haven't looked at it yet, but e-mail, phone, internet, and I think even bathroom monitoring of Orwellian dimensions is about to hit the fan. I think I might have to rob a few convenience stores so I can afford to go wireless.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, January 28, 2003 at 09:29:50 (EST)

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I don't know who the hell you people think you are, but how the hell did you already take control of my day......sons of britches
Chef Bean E. Sissler <chefdc1@hotmail.com>
Millsboring, DE USA - Tuesday, January 28, 2003 at 09:23:59 (EST)

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Your Karma just ran over my Dogma!
Chef Bean
DE USA - Tuesday, January 28, 2003 at 09:21:25 (EST)

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Dear dog! What hath you wrought?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, January 28, 2003 at 09:19:43 (EST)

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Dear god, what have I done?
Jerzy from the Block®
JC, NJ USA - Tuesday, January 28, 2003 at 09:13:11 (EST)

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Hi Ho! Hi Ho! It's off to Lurk we go!


Whistle While You Lurk
USA - Tuesday, January 28, 2003 at 09:08:43 (EST)

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I heard you like cheese
Chef Bean
DE USA - Tuesday, January 28, 2003 at 09:07:24 (EST)

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I heard that the Chef is a Has-Bean.
stooges fan
USA - Tuesday, January 28, 2003 at 09:02:36 (EST)

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Has Mr. Sizzler ever heard the word w**k before? Last time I saw him w**king was with a blackeye and no eyebrows at a well known Providence diner way back in the 80's
Chef Bean E. Sissler <chefdc1@hotmail.com>
Millsboring, DE USA - Tuesday, January 28, 2003 at 08:49:21 (EST)

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As to the use of the word w**k. It was pointed out many moons ago by a certain Auntie that w**k is a four letter word to us lurkers. W**k may be a necessary meat world evil, but we like to keep the lurk untainted by the w**kings and machinations of the shallower end of the gene pool. Arb**t macht frei - "w**k makes one free" is obviously an inferior slogan to our precious motto "Lurk Makes You Good'N'Loose"
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, January 28, 2003 at 08:43:27 (EST)

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Dave I'm not quite sure why Jerzy pointed it out, but yes, "spat" is an example of some damn fine conjugating. I'd go as far as to say it was an expectorant extravaganza of expialidocious proportions. I'm not sure what that means either, but I like the sound of it.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, January 28, 2003 at 08:32:29 (EST)

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I recently recieved an invitation to a "three way" which I believe was meant for a Mr. Benny Sizzler. Although I was intrigued by this querry, I really wish you could change your name sir......I have recieved many a bizarre call, e-mail, letter and/or proposition from deranged people that seem to be all for Mr. Sizzler. Please do not make me contact my Attorney's at Dewet, Cheatham and Howe......you would regret that action. P.S.---Do you know of any Diner's in your area that may be looking for a chef (specialising in beans)...
Chef Bean E. Sissla <chefdc1@hotmail.com>
Millsboring, DE USA - Tuesday, January 28, 2003 at 07:58:53 (EST)

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Two things: Can somebody PLEASE scan that RI Digest thing-a-majig that Willy is so upset about and post it here so the REST of us can see it? Two: Nice verb usage, DTF - "spat". I LIKE it. Oh, and HELLO LURK, is that my mother on the phone (worst Police song ever)?
Jerzy from the Block®
JC, NJ USA - Tuesday, January 28, 2003 at 07:07:31 (EST)

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hi bab ilove you i got you,r letter . you better be carefull i bet that was scary. i would have ppppeeeee my pants.or worse. well grandpa woody made popcorn sssooo iiiiiiiiiiiiiilov you.
Hot & Buttered
USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 23:47:52 (EST)

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DTF- you gots some well aimed gob. We are well aware of some of canada's finest so worry not young man. Can we blame Creed on Pearl Jam?
Don
Horton Hears a Donut, USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 23:46:49 (EST)

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ok everyone i am going home from w**k <----why am/are i/we not allowed to use that word?
d.t.f.
sackmybush, canada - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 19:38:15 (EST)

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ooh yea, sorry about sum 41 too. funny thing about them i was at some fucking outdoor concert thing and my friends and i were playing "roadie or rockstar" and every one of us thought they were roadies. then when we saw them play it was fucking bad! so i spat on them. oh and i spat on creed too when i saw them. aww...such fond memories........
d.t. mean f. <david@polesmoker.com>
sackmybush, canadude - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 19:35:56 (EST)

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it's a mad mad mad mad mad MAD world...
Appalicia Willy
USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 17:42:32 (EST)

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And on that acerbic note, I'm off to see how my mid-term went. I'm out<<<<<>>>>>>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 17:01:11 (EST)

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Little Johnny was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said,
"Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, make you fat."
Little Johnny replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
Little Johnny answered, "No, but he did mind his own fucking business!"
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 16:58:50 (EST)

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I think that fan has gone round the Southbend. What do you call a native-american nanny? An Indianana.
Touchdown Jesus
USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 16:44:22 (EST)

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I've hit rock bottom and it doesn't look good on me man...
Jacki Rogers Senior <rock@bottom.com>
USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 16:39:24 (EST)

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Yeah, a fan, a real fan, ever hear of anything like it? You startin' with me?! I LIKE BENNY SIZZLER! I say it proud! (the man, not the band)
Benny Sizzler fan
Southfork, Indianana USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 16:38:03 (EST)

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It's Lara Flynn Boyle's date at the Golden (aka piss yellow) Globes.
Don
Ozzmond, USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 16:35:20 (EST)

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I like it :)
Local Remodle®
USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 16:29:57 (EST)

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Is it my imagination or is tutu dancing a two-step to the rhythm of Sacred Crowd Pleaser?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 15:53:04 (EST)

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I feel pretty,
Oh so pretty
I feel pretty and witty and bright
And I pity
Any girl
Who isn't me tonight


just call me tutu
USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 15:46:32 (EST)

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You've really got to grab the Lord by the balls to successfully quit the lurk.
a 12 step Lurker <lord@balls.com>
USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 15:44:04 (EST)

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Yes, my artist was sporting the menstruation version of the famous Benny kit-Blood red on one half and disharge yellow on the other. You'll soon see copycats pooping up in boutiques all over London Towne
Sting's Stylist
USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 15:42:34 (EST)

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Was Lord LameAss (Sting) sporting the Benny two tone t-shirt thingy? Thereby addmitting to being a log lurker?
Don <moreshitthan@halftimeshow>
USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 15:27:55 (EST)

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Hi Jerzy from the Block®
MJ®
USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 15:25:11 (EST)

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Willy, your ass is so RI Monthly grass!!!
MJ®
USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 15:24:48 (EST)

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Proctor, I don't ever wanna see pretty girls posted on this site ever again
MJ®
USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 15:24:18 (EST)

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Dave, don't forget, thanks for exporting lame fucking Sum 41 too...and yah, was Shania lipsynching or what? She makes Milli Vanilli look like Wayne Flowers and Madame
MJ®
USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 15:23:31 (EST)

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A real man's got but a minute for you plebes...
MJ®
USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 15:20:09 (EST)

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Upon further investigation we have come to the conclusion that there is no cure, however we have come up with a series of very expensive treatments that don't really help. For the sake of our stockholders we encourage all who are afflicted to try these pointless treatment options.
Benny Medical Research Facility
USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 15:17:31 (EST)

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Where DO they distribute those RI Monthlies? Has Rod gathered them all up in a fit of recycling madness?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 14:29:48 (EST)

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Don't say what, suet and worms? The Sizzlers certainly have given me what no other band could. I'm the first one to say that, and the folks at the Benny Medical Research Facility say that with just a few years research they should be able to cure it.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 14:27:36 (EST)

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no, dont you know that benny sizzler has blessed us with 100% top quality rock and roll?!?!?!!? they have given us what no other band could! dont ever say anything like that again proctor!
d.t.f.
sackmybush, - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 14:01:57 (EST)

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I need to collect ALL the RI Monthlies in town...
Rod Driver
USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 14:01:43 (EST)

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are suet and worms all that's left to us?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 13:57:35 (EST)

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Gwen doing the bowl...


no doubt about it
USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 12:48:07 (EST)

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BTW apology accepted, just don't let it happen again. Oh PLEASE don't let it happen again.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 12:34:14 (EST)

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Shania pranced about in thigh high black leather boots and showed off her assets quite nicely, and lip-synched her way through her latest drivel. Gwen did Just A Girl and owned that stage from the first note. (pardon the pun, but...) No Doubt about it she rocked. Sting did Message in a Bottle which was pretty good, but when Gwen came back out and joined in he was definitely playing second fiddle to her.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 12:32:57 (EST)

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as a canadian i feel that i have to say sorry for cursing you all with shania, celine, and our lady peace........and anyone else. oh yea anne murray too! so once again i am sorry, you all know that there is rock in canada, right?!?!?!
d.t..f
canada - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 12:22:18 (EST)

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thanks procter! ooh i had a blast yesterday.. so what happened at the super bowl? shania pretended to sing and gwen (from no doubt?) rocked????
d.t.f.
stoon, USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 12:20:49 (EST)

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Gwen kicked Shania's ass in the half-time Who's A Real Man Contest. Shania made me think bad thoughts with the outfit she was wearing (which was a big plus), but her lip synching non-performance bit. Gwen rocked the house and even came back out and made Sting look like a girly-man next to her Ali-shuffling hottness (did ya see the boxing boots?).
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 12:16:15 (EST)

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this log is wholy unsupervised and wormy
Willy
USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 12:08:06 (EST)

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Congrats to Dave for his educational triumph. How do Jerzy? Didn't there used to be a band on this here site? Do I have to resort to suet humor AGAIN?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 11:56:19 (EST)

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hi jerzy, and hi everyone else! just wanted to brag about my date last night...........i went out with a really cute 7th grade teacher! ooooh-OOOOOh-ooh yay! ok bye
d.t.f <david@glhs.ca>
saska, fucking toon - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 11:32:01 (EST)

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Hello lurk. I said HELLO.
Jerzy from the Block®
JC, NJ USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 11:29:15 (EST)

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Pardon me, Miss, but I've never done this with a real life squirrel!
Jacki Rogers Senior
USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 11:27:23 (EST)

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Did anybody tell you yet today? Y'ALL ROT!
tapping a pencil impatiently
USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 10:51:44 (EST)

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Don't tell me I'm solo lurking. You ALL know what happens when I solo lurk.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 10:19:07 (EST)

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I'm still gorged from the Souporbowl food extravaganza. My Grizzly Wings(pat. pend.) were a smashing success and only hospitalized two of the party-goers with minor second-degree burns. Hey, I took it easy on them. I only used 1 habanero pepper for the whole batch.... So if I remember right it was a team with a pirate logo that won the game, right?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 09:43:21 (EST)

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I got one word to say about your hot-pepper suet.
NUTS!


Hung-Lo The Squirrel
USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 09:20:11 (EST)

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Once again the worm turns.
SQL Slammer
USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 09:03:16 (EST)

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I may be big and I may be a moron, but I am NOT a big fuckin moron.
BFM
USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 08:22:25 (EST)

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Yo, Local Remodeler, you can't be high to play Battlefield 1942...am I right...?
MJ®
Right the frig next door, USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 00:42:12 (EST)

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I'm fuggin high.. :)
Local Remodeler
RI USA - Sunday, January 26, 2003 at 22:15:58 (EST)

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Could someone hand me some toilet paper?
#2 Lurker
USA - Sunday, January 26, 2003 at 16:44:51 (EST)

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If you like football you are a big fucking moron.
#1 LURKER
USA - Sunday, January 26, 2003 at 16:15:05 (EST)

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Can someone get below me and... well...you know...
Plectrum?
USA - Saturday, January 25, 2003 at 21:23:55 (EST)

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Anyone seen me plank?
Plectrum
USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 19:20:04 (EST)

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anyone seen my girl Minni?
Willy Driver
USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 17:47:55 (EST)

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EAT ME YA FRIGGIN CUBIC-ZIRCONIA COP! I'm off to plot the downfalll of the capitalist system............................................................................................................................................................................... and drink a case of cold ones. I'm out>>>>>>>>>>>>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 17:04:02 (EST)

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A certain Justin Timberlake-themed wallpaper on one of our lender's desktop is the reason we are forced to remove all wallpaper-crotch dropping-themed or not!
Stepford Mortgage Company Cubicle Cop
USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 16:58:50 (EST)

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The fascist dictatorship known as Stepford Mortgage Co has begun to show it's greenish-yellow blood-stained fangs. Day one they were telling us what a w**ker friendly dictatorship they were. They told us that people sang and danced in the aisles they had so much fun w**king for them (I'M NOT KIDDING!!!!!). And as a first move they made it casual prison wear every day to show what swell fuerhers they were. Well an edict from on high has just come down. No more wallpapers will be tolerated. I guess wallpaper interferes with the hypnotic rays they send through the blue screen. FUCKING BLUE SCREEN? Blow me I say. I already figured a w**k around to keep an image of choice on my desk top. I put my wallpaper in photoeditor and I'll just open the image each day and leave it up. I'll just minimize it to click on other programsand leave up under stuff that ain't full screen. Should make for an interesting conversation the first time the boss catches a glimpse.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 16:39:55 (EST)

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Are you picking on people of ambiguous gender now?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 15:36:44 (EST)

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Heh. I would have said person. I like the ambiguity of it.
Jerzy from the Block®
JC, NJ USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 15:26:28 (EST)

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I said Secuity not Security and I was using the simpler if not PC form of generic singular. To me using he/she always seems to imply that you're talking about some sort of she-male and I'd hate to besmirch our cross-gender brethren.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 15:18:52 (EST)

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How do you know the Security person is a fellow?
Jerzy from the Block®
JC, NJ USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 15:04:16 (EST)

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A priviledge? Is that a ledge ya hang your tuckus over to drop a load?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 14:58:21 (EST)

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I don't know who this Secuity fellow is, but it sounds like he means business.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 14:39:46 (EST)

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priviledges are officially revoked
Base Secuity
USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 14:21:32 (EST)

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What A touching love story you found there Jerzy. And I DO mean touching...... all over touching.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 14:06:18 (EST)

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Mr Bad Fist Wants YOU!


Mr Bad Fist
USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 13:59:25 (EST)

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HERE'S a really cheerful story: http://abcnews.go.com/sections/primetime/DailyNews/porn_love_030123.html
Jerzy from the Block®
JC, NJ USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 13:53:59 (EST)

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Willy, say goodbye to that high security clearance job of yours. You been published wearing a "Daddy's Little Girl" baby tee...
MJ®
USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 13:49:54 (EST)

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Thanks for coming to my defense, Jerzy. Words CAN hurt like fists and not good fists either (like implied fisting between men, now that's a good time), but this time they mean to hurt me with bad fist.
MJ®
USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 13:47:59 (EST)

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Which Deep Purple album would you got to jail for? I guess Machine Head might be worth it.
Celebrity Shoplifting Alert
USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 13:45:55 (EST)

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There was nothing hurtful about mentioning her boils. We have a monthly get together up here where we remove any extraneous growths that have sprung up over the previuos month. We at the BLA (Boil Lancers Anonymous) pride ourselves on being open about our disgusting body growths and we refuse to return to the days where we had to go to some nasty back-alley lancer.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 13:30:51 (EST)

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you'll be hearing from my lawyer...I'm ruined after that RI Monthly "pictoral"...
Willy
USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 13:06:26 (EST)

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Auntie MJ®, why do the analbloodfartmeanies on the lurk feel the need to be so jerky to you, always making mean remarks about your anatomy? Don't they realize that WORDS CAN HIT AS HARD AS A FIST?!!?
Jerzy from the Block®
JC, NJ USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 12:54:15 (EST)

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Those aren't snaps they're boils.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 12:48:44 (EST)

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Hey, you, get offa my snaps.
MJ® <fresh@JerzySuet.com>
USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 12:42:03 (EST)

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Do butt cheeks have snaps?
Don <flunky@bio101>
The Lab, USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 12:35:31 (EST)

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Those aren't coattails, those are MJ's sagging buttcheeks dragging behind her.
an anonymous shitstarter
USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 12:31:56 (EST)

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Speaking of Willy, pictures of he and the other select members of the Sizzle can be found in Rhode Island Monthly (Feb. Issue). Standing firmly on the coattails of MJ®. At a newsstand near you.
Don
Not A Library, USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 12:20:57 (EST)

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Pictures of Willy....
Pete Townie
Brig, UKKK - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 12:16:35 (EST)

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My nuts are HOT I tell ye!
Rocket J. Squirrel
USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 12:14:21 (EST)

---

And for the squirrel haters in the crowd--
Hot Pepper Delight
Discourages squirrels!
A blend of rendered beef suet and assorted grain products with ground hot chili peppers. No melt formula for year round usage even during warm weather. 11 oz. Each $ 2.49


I actually prefer my squirrels spicy
USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 11:46:49 (EST)

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"Render therefore unto suet the thing that was beef fat"
-- an old adage

Shakespareribs
USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 11:29:51 (EST)

---

I bet applying suet would help me to regain my dewy complexion. Hmmm.
Jerzy from the Block®
JC, NJ USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 11:15:41 (EST)

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SUET! I love that stuff. Now I know why all those flockers follow MJ around. I want in on the action!


The Blue Bird Of Crappiness
USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 10:50:47 (EST)

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SUET!!!!
Jon
Donston, RI USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 10:44:01 (EST)

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Just like me they long to be...
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 10:43:14 (EST)

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Auntie MJ®, why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?
Jerzy from the Block®
JC, NJ USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 10:23:18 (EST)

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We shore done a good job breaking the planet now, didn't we? I USED to enjoy walking to work...the cold and wind has sucked any remaining youthful moisture from my skin, let me tell you.
Jerzy from the Block®
JC, NJ USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 10:17:39 (EST)

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Global Cooling: Get Some!
Dick "Hair So Thick" Cheney
Master of the Universe, USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 10:09:40 (EST)

---

Have you noticed that the meat world is becoming more and more like a meat locker. If it gets much colder out there we're gonna have to go out every morning and scoop up a bucket of liquified atmosphere and bring it inside to thaw it out for a breath of fresh air... How do you like your air in the morning? I go for 3 parts liquid nitrogen to one part oxygen with a pinch of chloroflourocarbons for flavor.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 08:39:26 (EST)

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Thank you Dave. Will rectify. And I mean rectify.
BS Technical Captain
USA - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 00:14:18 (EST)

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ha ha ha jerzy rocks me! i can send ya some pics of me baby!!
d.t.f
saska, fucking toon - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 18:59:32 (EST)

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Isn't Willy dreamy, DTF? He sure is the bees knees! And there MIGHT be pictures NOT on this site.
Jerzy from the Block®
JC, NJ USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 18:47:31 (EST)

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ok, i will tell you in detail now, the left side of the page is ok. the right side has a bunch of crowd shots and it seems like there are more pictures that dont load properly. and all the old stuff isnt on there anymore.
d.t.f.
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 18:43:35 (EST)

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the graffito part loads very half-assedly, the pics dont load properly so i cant drool over the pics of willy! fix this pronto!
d.t.f. <david@glhs.ca>
saska, fucking toon - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 18:19:58 (EST)

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Ya can't keep me in here ya stinking screws!! I'm out!]]]]]]]~~~~~~~~~


Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 17:40:23 (EST)

---

barcodes, barcodes everywhere and not a drop to drink.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 17:10:51 (EST)

---

to church to church? I must be w**king too hard too hard.
to lips to lips
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 16:29:24 (EST)

---

I went to church to church on ash wednesday and when I left surely I had a temple black.
not a practicing cathartic
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 16:27:29 (EST)

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surely there must be a picture of me, Shirley...
Shirley Temple
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 16:24:15 (EST)

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One Shirley Temple, creme no sugar, and one Shirley Temple Black.
Laotian Roasters
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 15:54:58 (EST)

---

Oh, you mean the band "They Might Be Pictures". What was there hit? Don't, Don't, Don't Let's Start?... that's what you meant right?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 15:40:08 (EST)

---

Um. No, No pictures of Shirley Temple before or after the addition of the hyphenation. No pictures of the drink either. IF there ARE pictures, of course.
Jerzy from the Block®
JC, NJ USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 15:03:48 (EST)

---

Hell must have a lot of barcodes in it. And I DO mean plenty-o-barcodes, but I bet they have an accurate inventory.... So this is what a life behind bar(code)s is like.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 15:02:04 (EST)

---

I mean OF Shirley Temple. Were they taken before she became Shirley Temple-Black?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 14:42:26 (EST)

---

Then you're saying there MIGHT be pictures, Right?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 14:38:03 (EST)

---

NOT of the Shirley Temple. There aren't any pictures of the Shirley Temple, IF there are any pictures, that is. Um. Yeah.
Jerzy from the Block®
JC, NJ USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 14:35:11 (EST)

---

You know, I'm not sayin' anything, but SOMEBODY bought me a Shirley Temple that was so damn sweet at a club here in NYC. There MIGHT be pictures.
Jerzy from the Block®
JC, NJ USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 14:21:50 (EST)

---

Ha! just a delayed linkage. Kinda reminds me of the crap before the last one.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 14:21:44 (EST)

---

damn, bad linkage. kinda reminds me of my last crap.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 14:19:18 (EST)

---

When nature calls..............


WICKED PISSA
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 14:17:43 (EST)

---

who is this "Rod" guy?
Willy
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 14:16:09 (EST)

---

Hey who died and made you technical captain, smart ass?
BSTC
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 14:15:17 (EST)

---

Some of those audience pics probably take quite a while to load over a modem line. He might be timing out before they're fully loaded.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 14:08:45 (EST)

---

Nelly "Hot in Herrre" kicked? Bandaid and all?
Idiot Lurker <clue@less.com>
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 14:03:31 (EST)

---

Breaking news: R.I.P. Nell Carter. http://www.austin360.com/aas/life/ap/ap_story.html/Entertainment/AP.V3074.AP-Obit-Carter.html
Jerzy from the Block®
JC, NJ USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 14:03:18 (EST)

---

Dave, explain in detail your problem with the graffito section please.
BSTC
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 14:02:11 (EST)

---

Didn't hear about Mia, but just heard Nell Carter kicked. Truly this IS a sad day...... No really I mean it.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 13:57:28 (EST)

---

No doubt about it, I need a bigger shovel. The w**k 2 other departments have been dragging their asses over has miraculously all been completed in half a day. Which means I'm up to crotchless culottes in loans that haven't been done properly. This always happens right before some asshole exec does a walk-through. They dump all the shit they screwed up in my area and make it look like any back up is in my area.... Where the hell is that fog machine when you REALLY need it.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 13:53:42 (EST)

---

whats up with the graffito section?? i cant get to everything......
d.t.f. <blarg>
- Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 13:48:00 (EST)

---

Mia Zapata thing,does everyone know?
d.t.f. <david@gayfaggot.com>
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 13:46:15 (EST)

---

i have nothing to say...except that I no longer have my thong underpants on...
the foamy ass on the Benny bass drum <benny@bum.com>
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 13:18:49 (EST)

---

GRAMCHECK- insure
Grammar Gecko
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 12:44:52 (EST)

---

Driven? HA! You can't go anywhere until you insurance that old heap.


Gonzo Gecko
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 12:26:10 (EST)

---

yeah, driven like a beat up old Pinto.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 11:51:55 (EST)

---

I'm not Willy, I'm Rod...Rod Driver...and I want to be your Congressman...I'm very driven...
Willy's Rod
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 11:41:37 (EST)

---

Sorry willy, but four wings means NO drumsticks.
wings that give the sides hell
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 11:37:26 (EST)

---

Have you read my SECRET diaries? I bet ya didn't know that Antartica is THE best kept secret for warm weather vacationing.
Admiral Byrd
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 11:32:57 (EST)

---

It IS friggin cold out there! And I know from cold, BELIEVE ME!


Admiral Byrd
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 11:29:26 (EST)

---

Pack it in Rod
Larry Bird
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 11:22:23 (EST)

---

this log has gone to the birds...
Rod Driver
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 11:19:25 (EST)

---

It don't get much more edumacational than this. "Can you tell me how to get to Siz-zel-ler Street?" (song to the tune of an OTHER band)
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 10:38:10 (EST)

---

Heh. Touche. Very good then.
Jerzy from the Block®
JC, NJ USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 10:32:52 (EST)

---

The largest LIVING bird? Oh I get it...


Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 10:31:56 (EST)

---

I didn't know the lurk was so edumacational.
Flip Wilson <flip@bird.com>
Johnston, USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 10:19:19 (EST)

---

PS- Proctor, blow Auntie MJ®.
Jerzy from the Block®
JC, NJ USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 10:16:13 (EST)

---

Forgive me for not being clear. I was concerned about the largest LIVING flightless bird. Not some dead old dinosaurs like you Proctor. My bad.
Jerzy from the Block®
JC, NJ USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 10:15:39 (EST)

---

And the the only thing hotter than two wings is.... FOUR of course. (I can't believe this story got posted like ten seconds after I posted Terry)
Bird With A Duplex Complex
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 10:15:03 (EST)

---

PPS- MJ, get below me
Uncle Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 10:08:05 (EST)

---

WOW!!
Did you see those hot chicks! Do you know how hard it is for a large flying reptile to find a huge flightless chick who's as hot as THAT!!


Terry Dactyl
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 10:06:49 (EST)

---

PS- Proctor, blow me.
Auntie MJ®
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 09:27:36 (EST)

---

My dear Grrrl, while it's true that Jenny from the Block® used to have a little and now she has a lot, I still believe in my heart that she's the same idiot she was when she was scraping tar off the streets for chewing gum. Have no worries, your two favorite stars will have a lifetime of happiness together!
Auntie MJ®
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 09:26:57 (EST)

---

And weighing in as the heaviest contender- The largest prehistoric bird was the flightless 'elephant bird', which lived in Australia between 15 million and 25,000 years ago. It is believed to have been about 3 metres tall and weighed around 500kg.


Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 09:07:09 (EST)

---

Dinornis maximus (meaning "huge, terrible bird") was the tallest bird that ever lived. This 11 1/2 ft (3.5 m) tall moa lived in New Zealand. A flightless bird, Dinornis had long, heavily-built legs, a long neck, and a bulky body. Diet: This slow-moving bird was an herbivore; it ate seeds and fruit. These birds swallowed stones (which went into gizzard) that helped digest the food. When Dinornis Lived: Dinornis appeared during the Pleistocene and went extinct around 1800, due to pressures from humans. Dinornis was named by English paleontologist Richard Owen in 1843; Owen had been sent a box of bones from a missionary in New Zealand. Classification: Kingdom Animalia (animals), phylum Chordata, subphylum Vertebrata (vertebrates), class Aves (birds), order Dinornithiformes, family Dinornithidae, genus Dinornis, species maximus.


Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 08:50:38 (EST)

---

Auntie MJ®, I heard that J.Lo and Ben aren't going to get married because Matt Damon told Ben that she "isn't the marrying kind." What does Matt mean by "not the marrying kind?" Is he saying somthing bad about her? Isn't J.Lo STILL Jenny from the Block, neverminding the rocks she's got?
Jerzy from the Block®
JC, NJ USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 08:15:35 (EST)

---

F EWE
Chong
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 07:59:49 (EST)

---

Mary's Danish?
Auntie MJ®
USA - Thursday, January 23, 2003 at 02:26:02 (EST)

---

Why my dear Jerzy, it is the ostrich.
Auntie MJ®
USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 22:45:16 (EST)

---

no, it was a band i have never heard of before......mary? i dont know.....aaarrrrggh
d.t.f.
USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 22:29:51 (EST)

---

Auntie MJ®, what is the name of the largest flightless bird?
Jerzy from the Block®
JC, NJ USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 20:58:43 (EST)

---

Dearest Dave, do you mean Jet Set Satellite?
Auntie MJ®
USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 20:43:23 (EST)

---

hey auntie!!! what was the name of that band from winnipeg?
d.t.f
USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 18:47:11 (EST)

---

I will call YOU after maggies...
3FINGA
USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 17:45:08 (EST)

---

Don't make me get HARD ON you all...
the real Rod Driver
USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 17:41:15 (EST)

---

oh yes, i did get that money!!! that is funny....... everyone in the office likes it too...........ha ha ah a
d.t.f <david@glhs.ca>
USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 17:37:50 (EST)

---

Time to hit the tundra trail. I have my midterm exam in Corp Finance tonight. oh joy. Nothing like figuring an annuities due problem to make you feel all warm and fuzzy (but I'm already warm and fuzzy?)

I'm out}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 17:12:49 (EST)

---

Hey Dave, in case you missed this one give a click below.
A LOONIE TO MAKE DAVE SWOONIE
USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 16:48:02 (EST)

---

I believe the implication is that Rod is the groupie not you, and I merely pointed out that Rod is competing with you for willy's affections (slim as his chances are against the one and only Jerzy from the Block®).
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 16:45:33 (EST)

---

hi everyone, i was out of commision the last couple days due to an injury. i fucked up my back really bad playing rock and roll music. so i called in sick to work and layed in bed all day listening to depressing music and watching shit on the boob-tube. oooh speaking of shit, did anyone watch american idol? that little faggy diva with the ripped pants cracked me up!!!! ha ha ha ha ok that is all for now p.s gail is hot!!! i saw that pic of you rocking out on the lurk!!! ooooh sistah!
d.t. groupie f. <david@headforrockstars.com>
saska, fucking toon - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 16:42:20 (EST)

---

I ain't no GROUPIE, dammit!!!
Jerzy from the Block®
JC, NJ USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 16:35:19 (EST)

---

Damn it! I knew it was a mistake to let Townsend crash at my place.
R. Kelly
USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 16:30:50 (EST)

---

How does a Charleston Chew?
eating nostalgic candy
USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 16:22:03 (EST)

---

Hank, are you a badd ass death loving mother fucker?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 16:19:57 (EST)

---

I am a badd ass death loving mother fucker. Just ask me.
Henry Williams the Third
USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 16:12:37 (EST)

---

My ears give the sides hell. Hell I tell ya!!!
Rodney
Johnston, USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 16:11:10 (EST)

---

MJ I think Jerzy's got some competition.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 15:44:24 (EST)

---

Willy's got a groupie! Willy's got a groupie! (sung to the taunt of nyeah nyeah nyeah nyeah nyeaaaah nyeah)
chorus of derision
USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 15:41:39 (EST)

---

OHMYGOD
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 15:40:27 (EST)

---

I think I'm in love.

Rod (throbbing for willy) Driver
USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 15:26:24 (EST)

---

OOH! I'm getting longer and stiffer just thinking about it.


Rod (getting even hotter for willy) Driver
USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 15:24:30 (EST)

---

Hi willy, are you really hung like they say?


Rod (got the hots for willy) Driver
USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 15:20:02 (EST)

---

bmspider328? THAT'S SPARKY!!(aka- pinky)
Spidah Mahn
USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 15:03:51 (EST)

---

Rod....Drivers Wanted.
Adolf Farfignugen
Berlin, USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 14:51:13 (EST)

---

Okay. I just got the following junk mail thingy, butt seeing the senders address made me curious. Is this some kind of joke????!!!! ................................................................ :bmspider328@aol.bmspider328@aol.com GUARANTEED 100% NO Weights NO Tough Exercises NO Pumps NO Dangerous Surgery Click Here! Penis Enlargement
Don
Weirdston, USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 14:48:22 (EST)

---

I'm like a ONE wood...driven.
Rod Sterling Driver
USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 14:41:35 (EST)

---

You learn something new every day. What I meant was...

Rod The Amazing Levitating Legislator
USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 14:21:36 (EST)

---

Is that willy's dangling chad?
a shitstarting pollster
USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 13:57:35 (EST)

---

Good god!!! It grew! It weren't that size before. Willy were you stroking Rod?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 13:55:58 (EST)

---

Sounds like Rod knows you though doesn't it. Rod really knows how to put the pole in poll place.


Rod Drives Home His Point
USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 13:52:19 (EST)

---

who the hell is this Rod Driver guy? anyone know?
Willy
USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 13:26:17 (EST)

---

When I fly nude I do it in the Boeing 727-inches that is.
Happy Derman
USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 13:21:04 (EST)

---

Actually I've booked a tour already with Crackaways Travel Agency. They've converted old school buses into rolling bordellos complete with crack whores in desperate straits. I've booked "The Dirty Dozen Tour" which gives me the 12 crack whores and the bus all to myself. You tour goes back and forth through Olneyville, Manton, and the South Side stopping for "supplies" as needed. The tour continues as long as your wallet holds out or until your pecker falls off, whichever comes first. BTW, Rod Driver is no longer allowed on Crackaway's tours anymore, he always goes on and on about some drummer with a diminutive dinky and the other customers find it very distracting.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 13:02:51 (EST)

---

The Driver.
Plectrum
USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 13:01:54 (EST)

---

I'm a very driven individual. It's HARD ON my family sometimes but that's how I yam.
Rod T. Driver
USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 12:58:08 (EST)

---

Sparky! That's my spider damn it. He was spidernapped by a Floridian transient who duped me into letting him take Sparky for a walk.
Spidah Mahn
USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 12:50:57 (EST)

---

Maybe you and Rod Driver could go together.
Shit Starting Lurker
USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 12:20:11 (EST)

---

Proctor, here's a vacation idea for you: The Castaways Travel Agency of Houston has booked a May 3 clothing-optional Boeing 727 flight to Cancun, Mexico (but the crew will be clothed and cabin temperatures warmer). [Chicago Tribune, 1-5-03]
Jerzy from the Block®
JC, NJ USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 12:17:38 (EST)

---

Punta Gorda, Fla., inmate James "Happy" Borland, 41, suffered a near-fatal concussion in December from being roughed up by inmates Lemuel "K-Money" Ware, 32, and Corey Andrews, 32, because Borland had accused Ware of stealing his pet spider and renaming it "Pinky." According to a Florida Department of Law Enforcement report, Borland had demanded his spider back, but Andrews intervened. Ware, who said he had purchased the spider fair and square, felt he had to go after Borland because Pinky (in a small box in Ware's shirt pocket) "told" him to. [Port Charlotte Sun-Herald, 12-19-02; St. Petersburg Times, 1-3-03]
Jerzy from the Block® <gnognews@isgoodgnews.com>
JC, NJ USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 12:01:41 (EST)

---

I'm the spit
Spitsy
USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 11:45:34 (EST)

---

I'm the pits.
Pitsy
USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 11:27:51 (EST)

---

ever feel like you've fallen into a bottomless pit?


freaky fractal fancier
USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 10:23:31 (EST)

---

Assume the position Jerzy.
Jerzy's Boss from the Block
USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 09:16:00 (EST)

---

WORD. I have resumed my position in the meat world. Joy.
Jerzy from the Block®
JC, NJ USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 09:13:03 (EST)

---

And another tip of the hat to MacTavish for his tongue-ectomy
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 09:11:47 (EST)

---

I got to give a hats of to the folks in Edmonton this morning. The woke up to a brisk -39 degrees that's WITHOUT WINDCHILL!
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 08:26:23 (EST)

---

Gifs rot
Master Timmy
Blobsville, USA - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 22:17:32 (EST)

---

be over ASAP bulk side
Willy B. O. Time
USA - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 17:35:49 (EST)

---

what's this about a picture of a supposed erection?
Richard Onderman
USA - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 17:30:01 (EST)

---

Well I've done my part for the environment today by recycling gifs. Do you know how many people don't separate their gifs when putting out the trash? It's shocking I tell you. I'm out{{{{{}}}}~~~~~~~~~~
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 17:03:53 (EST)

---

Hey Jerzy are ya going out for your punk jog prep tonight. I kinda imagined it looking something like this.


Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 17:01:46 (EST)

---

Somebody finally outdid my fog fiasco. Someone in the building went to forward one of those garbage e-mails, this one was about a missing kid (you know the type- please forward this to save a child blah blah blah). Well when they went to send it to some list of their own instead they hit the universal list for Fleet/Cendant. And when I say universal I MEAN UNIVERSAL!! The message went around the world to offices in Brazil, Japan, London etc. I thought I was shitting barbed-wire after tripping the alarm. HAA!! People thought they were getting a virus too, because the list on the header had EVERY FRIGGIN ADDRESS IN THE UNIVERSAL ADDRESS BOOK. They've been getting calls from other banks too, so some people forwarded it to people they know in other banks. PLUS some people hit reply-to-all and buried the system in even more spam. It don't get much richer than this.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 16:22:18 (EST)

---

did the kid scare y'all off?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 15:54:12 (EST)

---

Screw Gerber! Got Poi?


Lil' Surfer Poi
USA - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 14:59:04 (EST)

---

Can I have a bulkie roll on the side
3 fingered poi
USA - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 14:52:59 (EST)

---

how 'bout 7pm bulkside?
3finga
USA - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 14:46:25 (EST)

---

I know it's going to be HARD ON all of you, but the evidence may have been lost...thank freakin' god on a crutch...
Willy B. Hard
USA - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 14:45:49 (EST)

---

I like that Jerzy chick, I do.
Harry Hard <hardfor@you.com>
USA - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 14:09:26 (EST)

---

maybe you could try the "small" claims court
The Official Lurk Evidence Room
USA - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 14:01:02 (EST)

---

mmllmm mlllnnmb mmllm
Harvey The Hound
USA - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 13:58:55 (EST)

---

We lost it.
The Official Lurk Evidence Room
USA - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 13:57:59 (EST)

---

supposedly there's some "EVIDENCE"
Will E. Fingers
USA - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 13:55:46 (EST)

---

I'll rip your friggin tongue out if you do that one more time!!
Craig MacTavish
USA - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 13:55:40 (EST)

---

Hard? It's about as hard as my corns on a snowy winter morn after a soak in the tub
Shit Startin' lurker
USA - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 13:28:30 (EST)

---

Hard as a standard issue yellow #2 pencil


wee willy's winky
USA - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 13:02:12 (EST)

---

Does Super Dog have extraneous udders?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 12:59:09 (EST)

---

by the way, is there anything HARD ON the lurk today?
Will E. B. Hard
USA - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 12:47:27 (EST)

---

word to the lurk and its lurkers...what time at the bulkhead tonight?
Willy
USA - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 12:44:30 (EST)

---

Well, I took a picture of Super Dog in Niles, IL.
Jerzy from the Block®
JC, NJ USA - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 12:21:57 (EST)

---

What a shame. I was hoping for a pic of the five uddered cow. I hear she got an implant, the cheeky cow.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 12:12:56 (EST)

---

Any would be singers looking for a hum job?
hummimg good 'n loose
USA - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 12:10:04 (EST)

---

That was a one way ride, sir. I stopped and saw nothing. Wanted to get back as fast as possible. No tape deck, no cd player, just me and the fucking radio and my cell phone. SOME people called me, so that was good.
Jerzy from the Block®
JC, NJ USA - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 12:09:10 (EST)

---

I thought you had switched to a flight? Or was that just for the trip going west? Did ya stop at any cool places and see the world's biggest hairball, three headed chickens, five uddered cows, or some such?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 11:55:15 (EST)

---

THANKS. They were cold and snowy. Colder than here and worse because of the wind and lack of any break from it (no trees and the town is right on the lake). I left at 10:30 AM yesterday and got in at around 6:30 AM today. Napped for an hour at a PA truck stop.
Jerzy from the Block®
JC, NJ USA - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 11:45:21 (EST)

---

Welcome back to the right coast Jerzy. How be the hinterlands?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 11:34:29 (EST)

---

Hello? I'm back. Jesus fucking H. Christ, what an experience.
Jerzy from the Block®
JC, NJ USA - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 11:19:16 (EST)

---

A unipygic, no wonder he's so frantic. He's gotta be wicked backed up.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 10:46:58 (EST)

---

He appears to have one ass cheek.
Uniass <crack@less.com>
USA - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 10:11:50 (EST)

---

I gotta get outa here! Which way do I go?! Which way do I go?!!
(I love this guy)


A RATHER CRAZED DANCING GUY
USA - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 09:18:47 (EST)

---

Yo Willy, this is the lurk, pencil dick and fat ass comments high school or otherwise are taken with a big gulp of BM® (the official drink of the lurk). As to Gene, who listens to some bozo who is insipid enuf to use the phrase "my bad"?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 08:19:50 (EST)

---

Who ever made SLC Punk should be drawn and quartered. Punk rock ruined Benny's life so get the fuck off my dishwasher.
Benny S.
The Blob, USA - Monday, January 20, 2003 at 23:13:33 (EST)

---

Is this band any good? My friend told me about you guy but I don't know anything
Larry J.
Raleigh, NC USA - Monday, January 20, 2003 at 21:35:59 (EST)

---

Ummm...guy...Is that a... boner... in your shorts?
"Proctor"
USA - Monday, January 20, 2003 at 18:13:46 (EST)

---

yo Proc., after discussion with one of the independent Benny moderators, seems I got a little 'high school' on your ass on Friday, so as Gene likes to say, "my bad"...shouldn't've gotten personnal...you caught me at a bad moment with a slice of your wry-@ss commentary... anyway, Benny will need your smoke in the future...W.
wee Willy <back@peddle.com>
USA - Monday, January 20, 2003 at 17:40:50 (EST)

---

lucky 21000...
W.
USA - Monday, January 20, 2003 at 17:32:31 (EST)

---

that was my ass
Willy
USA - Monday, January 20, 2003 at 16:38:59 (EST)

---

Who's rippin' my gifs?
Gif Idiot
USA - Monday, January 20, 2003 at 15:43:31 (EST)

---

Time to make like the Cheshire Cat........................................................... I'm out((((((())))))))))~~~~~~~~~~


Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, January 20, 2003 at 14:17:22 (EST)

---

which beach would that be? I think I wanna steer clear of this guy's "turf"
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, January 20, 2003 at 14:13:33 (EST)

---

Good bloody Lords (tracy) that man's ass is sucking up all the polution on the beach.
Benjamin Dover <bottom@burp.com>
The Wall, USA - Monday, January 20, 2003 at 14:09:51 (EST)

---

I should warn you though it's been known to have side effects, often people get dizzy and enter a hypnotic trance like state. they even hallucinate weird spinning objects appearing before their eyes. Of course some people aren't affected as quickly as others


you're getting sleepy.... very sleepy
USA - Monday, January 20, 2003 at 14:07:51 (EST)

---

I should warn you though it's been known to have side effects, often people get dizzy and enter a hypnotic trance like state. they even hallucinate weird spinning objects appearing before their eyes.
you're getting sleepy.... very sleepy
USA - Monday, January 20, 2003 at 14:05:35 (EST)

---

I just whipped up a batch of my "special" brew. Care for a taste?


Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, January 20, 2003 at 14:01:27 (EST)

---

oops, lost my "train" of thought there for a moment. could THIS be the ass in question?
not for the faint of heart
USA - Monday, January 20, 2003 at 13:50:19 (EST)

---

Could this be the ass in question?
not for the faint of heart
USA - Monday, January 20, 2003 at 13:48:40 (EST)

---

Allright, I'm a beard, I'm a BEARD! But you wanna talk hairy ass?!! Look at MJ'S ASS!
MJ's Beard <hair@ass.com>
USA - Monday, January 20, 2003 at 13:40:38 (EST)

---

Get your gifs here! Red hot gifs! Only been used once by an old lady named Schroeder!


bears a passing resemblance to someone
USA - Monday, January 20, 2003 at 13:40:21 (EST)

---

I'm a beard sister. And we don't get no respect.
MJ®'s Imposter
USA - Monday, January 20, 2003 at 12:59:57 (EST)

---

3rd times a boner...?

USA - Monday, January 20, 2003 at 12:58:38 (EST)

---

hello...?

USA - Monday, January 20, 2003 at 12:56:52 (EST)

---

This is NOT a lapdance.

USA - Monday, January 20, 2003 at 12:55:13 (EST)

---

Milli Vannilli? Whose to say I ain't one of them there beard brothers?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, January 20, 2003 at 12:54:23 (EST)

---

Don't even suggest that!
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, January 20, 2003 at 12:50:56 (EST)

---

That's more what I look like when the ATM runs dry at the Foxy lady!
Sluggo <lap@dance.com>
USA - Monday, January 20, 2003 at 12:48:41 (EST)

---

http://members.fortunecity.com/dbard/!!!!! And I thought you were illustrating and animating your own jokes! Milli Vanilli. Milli Vanilli
Don
Suicide, Germany - Monday, January 20, 2003 at 12:47:09 (EST)

---

Why I remember when I used to rock the stadiums as pictured in the graffito link...my wallets would sway to yesterday's beats and my snaps would keep time
Ole Lady Shroeder
USA - Monday, January 20, 2003 at 12:45:32 (EST)

---

Proc, I think your slip is showing.
Don
Bric-a-bracket, USA - Monday, January 20, 2003 at 12:42:23 (EST)

---

Is it just me or does that guy look a little like Sluggo when he found out all the beer was gone?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, January 20, 2003 at 12:14:28 (EST)

---

I gotta get outa here! Which way do I go?! Which way do I go?!!


A RATHER CRAZED DANCING GUY
USA - Monday, January 20, 2003 at 12:11:23 (EST)

---

I gotta get outa here! Which way do I go?! Which way do I go?!!
img src="http://members.fortunecity.com/dbard/anxiety.gif">

A RATHER CRAZED DANCING GUY
USA - Monday, January 20, 2003 at 12:09:09 (EST)

---

judging by the graffito OddBalls was a bit bigger than I remember, a bit more diverse too, and I don't remember the show being outdoors either. Come to think of it, OddBalls didn't look at all like a stadium from the outside.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, January 20, 2003 at 12:01:15 (EST)

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spoke to soon I see. how's the johnston contingent hoding out?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, January 20, 2003 at 11:50:22 (EST)

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Left to lurk as the sound of one proctor clapping again. Such is the bane of my lurksistence.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, January 20, 2003 at 11:48:07 (EST)

---

Are those outakes from the cowsills documentary?
Don
Johnston, RI USA - Monday, January 20, 2003 at 11:45:39 (EST)

---

One word
Sick
USA - Sunday, January 19, 2003 at 22:43:55 (EST)

---

Graffito link
Two Words
USA - Sunday, January 19, 2003 at 14:37:46 (EST)

---

Turtle will teach you to ride the TUBE!
Kealani <brown@tube.com>
Honolulu, USA - Sunday, January 19, 2003 at 11:28:47 (EST)

---

What ta da FUCK was the good Prime Minister doing on the lurk on a Saturday. Dear Dog in heaven, the world's gone MAD!!!
MJ®
USA - Saturday, January 18, 2003 at 22:07:03 (EST)

---

oops missed one of them there brackets I'm outa here before a certain BSTC puts my balls on the chopping block. I'm out<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Saturday, January 18, 2003 at 14:54:47 (EST)

---

Guess I should just slick back the old 'do and go out on the prowl......... Better do my tongue limbering exercises too./tt>


doing the 'do
USA - Saturday, January 18, 2003 at 14:48:53 (EST)

---

I'M WAITING FOR AN ANSWER!
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Saturday, January 18, 2003 at 14:43:28 (EST)

---

Should I leave ya one more to ponder on or just get the hell off this lurk?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Saturday, January 18, 2003 at 14:42:04 (EST)

---

I was thinking of going surfin but the waves are kinda flat...............and kinda brown


not surfin in that no way no how
USA - Saturday, January 18, 2003 at 14:40:49 (EST)

---

What am I doing here on a Saturday?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Saturday, January 18, 2003 at 14:37:52 (EST)

---

nothing to do today but hang around and spank the monkey


A Spank A Day Keeps The Wanker At Bay
USA - Saturday, January 18, 2003 at 13:47:12 (EST)

---

That's one "Bill" I'd like to stuff in my mattress!
Thrifty Hoser
USA - Saturday, January 18, 2003 at 13:46:15 (EST)

---

Dave I don't know if you're gonna want to part with them there loonies. Have you seen the new bill design? Give a click, ya might find out you're gonna be saving more money, although they may end up a bit "soiled".
A LOONIE TO MAKE DAVE SWOONIE
USA - Saturday, January 18, 2003 at 13:05:45 (EST)

---

wee willy winky


chances are slim to nubbin
USA - Saturday, January 18, 2003 at 12:11:55 (EST)

---

Hey Dave, how's Saskatoon's hottest hottie doing?
MJ®
USA - Saturday, January 18, 2003 at 00:37:04 (EST)

---

hey all, my internet has been down for tha last 2 days. i miss the lurk.........i need a porta-lurker.....oooh could i get one for 50 loonies??? ha ha ha ha see y'all tomorrow
d.t.f. <david@glhs.ca>
saska, fucking toon - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 22:39:57 (EST)

---

Well I'm off to try and convince some girl to let me "erase" her vaginal tattoo. Wish me luck. I'm out[[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]~~~~~~~~~~~
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 17:11:43 (EST)

---

It's not like a pencil it's like the eraser but softer.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 17:08:57 (EST)

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willy what can I say? Oh I know get below me and...


willy's secret identity revealed
USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 17:06:18 (EST)

---

Ouch
MJ®
USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 17:05:55 (EST)

---

my final retort would be, we could ask around but then again, what's the point? see what happens when ya shit talk? move to LA
Willy
USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 17:01:35 (EST)

---

Let me know when you lose another 85...and I'll bet you're hung like a pencil...
W.
USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 16:59:31 (EST)

---

If you saw Phelpsy's performance you know he was clutching his chest after one song. He couldn't walk acroos the stage without taking a rest (and a drink, and a cigarette) let alone JOG without a certified CPR tech handy.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 16:43:27 (EST)

---

Hey I dropped 85lbs last year then put half of it back on. At least I CAN lose weight, your stuck with that feeble winky.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 16:39:46 (EST)

---

I believe that's CGI of Jerzy preparing for the big race.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 16:38:01 (EST)

---

Since we seem to be crossing the line all over the place here. I was just wondering if the cone spiked animatron was a H.O. scale replica of Phelpsy Destroyer on a long strange acid trip down Benifit street?
Drugsy
History Channel, Providence - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 16:32:32 (EST)

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Is diet related to jogging? I get so confused here on the animosity channel.
Drugsy
Remote, USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 16:26:53 (EST)

---

what's the point of you going on a diet? that's the real question
W.
USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 16:12:24 (EST)

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from what we've gathered what would be the point of getting below you?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 16:11:14 (EST)

---

you post about the length and girth, or lack thereof, and just MOVE ON? get the fuck below me
Willy
USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 16:04:33 (EST)

---

Jogging is VERY punk


ANARCHY IN THE NIKE
USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 15:58:36 (EST)

---

sorry willy we've already moved on
not admitting i posted about his willy again
USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 15:54:09 (EST)

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N-E-S-T-L-E-S, Nestle makes the very best genocide
Been Boycotting These Fucks For Years
USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 15:52:01 (EST)

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well it might be short but it sure isssss skinny! gives the sides hell...the SIDES!
Willy
USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 15:45:19 (EST)

---

well I guess we should move on to something else
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 15:44:44 (EST)

---

Apparently it's quite short.
Drugsy
Tuna Can, USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 15:27:29 (EST)

---

HEE HEE HEE!
MJ® <long@skinny.com>
USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 14:57:37 (EST)

---

isn't that a rather "short" topic
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 14:43:39 (EST)

---

Yeah willy, we wanna hear more about your PENIS!!!!!!!!
MJ®
USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 14:41:58 (EST)

---

Coach? Fuck that, sounds to complicated. Just put me in so I can cross check somebody, I'm bored.


Sluggo
USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 14:09:53 (EST)

---

save the freakin' hockey talk BoreUs...
Willy
USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 14:07:33 (EST)

---

yah slugg, am sure them knees are MIGHTY sore. don't feel lonely though...there's a coach in boston that better not be doing any house-hunting right about now.
boris
- Friday, January 17, 2003 at 13:53:20 (EST)

---

luminol? Is that like the shit you rub on your sore knees? if it is make sure you don't get it on your dick, that shit burns.
Sluggo
USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 13:43:57 (EST)

---

impersonating a habs fan is not on my short list of 'shit to do' da
boris
- Friday, January 17, 2003 at 13:16:23 (EST)

---

I need proof that that post is really from Sluggo®. I highly doubt it. I smell Boris all over it. I need to luminol it to check it's authenticity. If it's covered in jizz, t's DEFINATELY Sluggo.
MJ® <mydear@watson.com>
USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 12:57:48 (EST)

---

This day is passing like a friggin Chinese water torture.


Drippy Drip
USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 12:50:18 (EST)

---

What, you guys write on this lurk? Whatsa matter your TV broke?
Sluggo
USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 12:44:08 (EST)

---

habs coach toast alert sluggo to his dream gig da
boris
- Friday, January 17, 2003 at 12:37:47 (EST)

---

No, Jerzy Grrl is getting her Dave Waddle
An Athlete
USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 12:35:43 (EST)

---

So Jrrrzy Guuul is getting her Jim Fixx?
Joe Blow
USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 12:10:36 (EST)

---

Jimmy Jamz says to say HELLO...
Willy War Pigs In Space
USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 11:43:45 (EST)

---

Maybe all FOUR of us are just cogs in some warped bit of machinery


Welcome To The Machine
USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 11:19:25 (EST)

---

I know, why don't you THREE get a room.
MJ®
USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 11:14:45 (EST)

---

Why don't you two get a room.
Don
By the Hour, USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 11:02:09 (EST)

---

EPISODE 12B: HOW TO RECOGNISE DIFFERENT TREES FROM QUITE A LONG WAY AWAY. NO. 1-
THE LARCH
USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 10:48:50 (EST)

---

You rang?
Lurch
USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 10:35:29 (EST)

---

the lurk appears to be lurching along...
Lenny the Lurker
USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 10:24:21 (EST)

---

I don't know if I'm ready to taste a pair of gym trunks in my mouth, coca-cola flavored or party sensation NOT withstanding.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 10:07:55 (EST)

---

word on the Tokyo streets is that that candy is a "coca cola flavored party in your mouth" or something like that...
Willy Turning Japanese
USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 09:50:46 (EST)

---

Discovered this pic of MJ doing the pee-pee dance. Apparently you can observe this behavior anytime SOMEONE posts annoying gifs.


Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 09:42:27 (EST)

---

ain't gentrification grand
strip mauler
USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 09:38:53 (EST)

---

somebody LOG in!
Willy
USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 09:30:25 (EST)

---

good article on Fort Thunder but if you don't wanna register/log in it's copied here. renaissance city, middleblob. same problem.
boris
- Friday, January 17, 2003 at 09:24:25 (EST)

---

nothing? nothing?!
Willy
USA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 09:17:26 (EST)

---

6 pm dear Lord in Heaven...I'll do what I can and can what I do...we'll put the war on hold...
Willy Warpig
USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 18:03:48 (EST)

---

William's three fingered fists will be needed at 6pm EST.
BennySIzzler Rehearsal Coordinator
The Basement, USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 17:52:30 (EST)

---

what time jammy tomorrow?
Warren
USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 17:35:11 (EST)

---

What am doing here still? I'm out{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}~~~~~~~~~
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 17:06:01 (EST)

---

hey, gotta make a buck...now blow me you peace loving peaceniks!
Willy War
USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 16:25:47 (EST)

---

I know it IS a bit much.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 16:17:50 (EST)

---

HI HO! HI HO! IT'S OFF TO WAR WE GO!
blow me

LET'S GO CRUISING!
USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 16:15:39 (EST)

---

Nothing like the smell of an atomic blast in the morning!!
yeah this one's gone too

ABSOLUTELY BLOWN AWAY!
USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 16:05:22 (EST)

---

the answer is blowin'....
whetherman underbrown (& yellow)
USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 15:56:38 (EST)

---

I got a head for blowin'!
MJ®
USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 15:39:26 (EST)

---

Heads full of war are about as empty as you can get.
peacenik of the brown & yellow variety
USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 15:18:51 (EST)

---

Is finding empty warheads "in excellent condition" equal to A) finding roaches in the ashtray or B) reason to start a nuclear war. Explain.
Math Major
Yellow & Brown, University - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 15:12:47 (EST)

---

Now what would YOU do with a surplus of, say, 702 pins?
got enuf orifices
USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 14:55:31 (EST)

---

For the dinosaurs amongst us, on The Tonight Show tonight the musical gusts are--- The Doors performing "Light My Fire" -- featuring Ray Manzarek, Robby Krieger, Ian Astbury(from The Cult) and Stewart Copeland. Check the pic to see that these guys are creepier than ever. I believe they're eventually supposed to tour with this line-up too. I think it got delayed because Copeland had busted an arm from falling off a bike or something. You would think he could afford a car.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 14:46:30 (EST)

---

demartini da. whitesnake shoulda kept him.
borass
- Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 14:31:34 (EST)

---

Does one wear a mara-thong when running a marathon?
couch-athon champion
USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 14:24:21 (EST)

---

On the marginal-marathon tip, I'm sure I could be inspiration for Jerzy to run..... to run screaming into the night that is.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 13:37:01 (EST)

---

trocar-(TRO kar)n.- A hollow tube farmers insert into the rectums of cattle to release trapped gases..... My qustion is what happened to the cows before trocars? Did they explode? Y'know like COW-BOOM!!!
D.I.E.
USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 13:35:04 (EST)

---

dem eye bones wuz my find. It's the first mouse trailer I've seen that seemed worth the script.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 13:32:01 (EST)

---

A review of yesterday's logs revealed to me that our own Jerzy is training for a half marathon. You need proctor down there to help you train-for MONTHS...?
MJ®
USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 13:27:14 (EST)

---

Hey Borass, what's wrong with Ratt? Warren DeMartini is a super guitar player and you know it.
MJ®
USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 13:25:39 (EST)

---

them's some funny-@ss eye bones...Chong???
Willy
USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 13:09:11 (EST)

---

My boss just handed me a trocar and mumbled something about with the additional pay I've also been given extra duties.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 12:58:24 (EST)

---

Now THAT's a headline!
Winter Vomiting Disease at Record High in Britain
USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 12:48:38 (EST)

---

Figgered out the WHOPPING big boost in pay I'm getting. It's $15.38/week and that's an astounding 38 cents/hour! After tax that's enuf for a cheap case of beer AND a No.2 pencil!!! MAN I'm living large now!
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 12:43:16 (EST)

---

I am so tempted to play with the java script for them there eyeballs, but I fear it may end as ugly the smurf jizz did.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 11:38:18 (EST)

---

We are MOST definitely watching YOU!!
F.B.EYE-GUY
USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 11:35:35 (EST)

---

the rat: defunct boston nightclub.

ratt: mj's all-time favorite band.

get it right.
boris
mome-ansk, russia - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 11:32:14 (EST)

---

it's an US vs. THEM kinda world...
Willy
USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 11:10:13 (EST)

---

Leinted beer should DEFINITELY be in the next gig's rider.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 11:02:09 (EST)

---

leint-(LAINT)v.- To add urine to ale to make it stronger. steatorrhea-(stee at o REE uh))n.- Frothy, stinking excrement that floats due to an abnormally high fat content. It is also pale, greasy, and hard to flush. (this shit is really digusting)... that comment is actually in the book too, what a find. Hee hee!
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 11:00:37 (EST)

---

what d'ya think they make them noodles out of?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 10:55:06 (EST)

---

don't take this the wrong way but you look like you've eaten an homunculus or two in your day
Ching
USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 10:32:18 (EST)

---

Well LEINT my beer and serve me up a bowl of STEATORRHEA!! Stepford Mortgage Co. has instated an across the board review of pays to bring everyone one up to industry standards. I got an $800 bump per annum just to bring me to their starting wage. At some point they'll be going back and adding to that to compensate for merit and time in the company too. WOOHOO! I knew my pay sucked bad, but isn't that amazing, almost four years here and I wasn't at an average starting wage. Of course my pay still leaves me to opt between ramen or maruchen nooodles for the bulk of my diet, but at long last I'll be able to buy that No.2 pencil I've had my eye on for so many years.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 10:18:06 (EST)

---

43: The number of the beast.
Jason Beastly
USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 09:59:40 (EST)

---

aerocolpos-(air o KOLE pose)n.- Vaginal flatulence; air or gas trapped in the vagina. [Greek aer-air + kolpos-bosom or fold]. eproctolagniac-(eh PROK toe LAG nee ak)n.- Someone who is sexually stimulated by flatulence, his/her own or someone else's.
D.I.E.
USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 09:52:49 (EST)

---

Mj did that aerocolpos ever clear up or did you find an eproctolagniac who is into that kind of stuff?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 09:47:23 (EST)

---

Momus, is she(he?) related to Dadus, the Greek god of being henpecked?
into roman mythology only
USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 09:41:25 (EST)

---

I used to LOVE the Cacafuegos! Me and my girlfriends would go and see them all the time in Boston at the Ratt and just dance and dance and dance!
MJ®
USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 09:40:14 (EST)

---

You ALL rot!!
Momus
USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 08:59:30 (EST)

---

And yesterday's parting shots... shardborn-(SHARD born)adj.- Born or residing in excrement. and shotclog-(SHOT klog)n.- An unpleasant drinking companion, tolerated only because he or she is buying the drinks... Did you ever notice that boris is a gugguse? Musta been an altar boy or something.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 08:49:59 (EST)

---

mome-(MOME)n.- A nitpicking critic. [anglicized form of Momus, the Greek god of Ridicule]
D.I.E.
USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 08:44:43 (EST)

---

sorry wisely, but it IS grizely. The book Depraved and Insulting English is compiled from all sorts of old dictionaries, encyclopedias that have lots of medical terms and terms that though lovely have fallen into minimal usage. So if your little Speak-and-Spell dictionary is lacking in a few of these terms I wouldn't be at all surprised you damn mome.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 16, 2003 at 08:42:39 (EST)

---

Did Leo need to method act the bathroom scenes?
Peaches' Fun Bags
USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 21:22:13 (EST)

---

I needed the "ride"
Jim Carrol <star@stall.com>
Highway Stall, USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 21:21:11 (EST)

---

ok.........wait, you guys go too fast for me! who is Leonardo? is it Leonardo Di crappy-o? i dont like him, but he seems to be naked in alot of his movies...didnt he jerk off on the room of some building in the basketball diaries?
d.t.f <david@glhs.ca>
saska, fucking toon - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 19:57:15 (EST)

---

Why does everybody always want Chong to blow them?
Peaches
USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 19:38:11 (EST)

---

let me guess, get below you?
Chong Facsimile
USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 19:20:50 (EST)

---

Where Chong at?
Peaches
USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 18:39:10 (EST)

---

We don't get NO props on this log.
Ben Wa's balls
USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 18:34:02 (EST)

---

unless you meant Main Entry: gris·ly Pronunciation: 'griz-lE Function: adjective Inflected Form(s): gris·li·er; -est Etymology: Middle English, from Old English grislic, from gris- (akin to Old English AgrIsan to fear); akin to Old High German grIsenlIh terrible Date: 12th century 1 : inspiring horror or intense fear 2 : inspiring disgust or distaste synonym see GHASTLY - gris·li·ness noun
Wisely
- Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 17:18:03 (EST)

---

it's GRIZZLY get it right...is FRIDAY a whiskey a go-go for sure?
Wizzly
USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 17:16:46 (EST)

---

Well I'm leaving all you shardborn lurkers to your own devices. I'm off to school and then to see if I can locate me a shotclog. I'm out((((((((((((()))))))))))))))~~~~~~~~~~
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 17:07:36 (EST)

---

I meant to post this one earlier. It has the "secret diaries" of the LOTR characters. Figgered a few hobbits might get a laugh out of it. (I never knew most of those characters were gay.)
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 17:03:09 (EST)

---

just another case of the grizely American I guess
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 16:52:43 (EST)

---

They just quoted a poll on the radio. 48% of Americans polled think that the 9/11 hijackers were Iraqis. The dumbing down of America just hit a new all time low... and they said it couldn't be done.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 16:52:07 (EST)

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extraordinarily.
fugly
- Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 16:38:56 (EST)

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I know I'm doing it to myself here, but the O-FISH-EE-AL meaning of grizely-(GRIZ uh lee)adj.-........(insert drum roll)......... is EXTRAORDINARILY UGLY!
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 16:37:49 (EST)

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Anybody ever notice how incredibly grizely I am?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 16:34:43 (EST)

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Doesn't anybody wanna cum play with my big yabbos?
Peaches
USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 16:16:54 (EST)

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What do you mean "used to wear." The only time you sucks would catch me with out said garment is when my mom would wash it. But now I'm saving up so-as I can have 2. That way when one is being tended to, the other will be in full regalia. Call me krazy or Komikazi!
Don
Hiroshima Mon Amour, USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 16:13:45 (EST)

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It's probably gone - it was a breaking picture of a man who set fire to two apartments and then jumped off a 24th story balcony. Yikes.
Jerzy from the Block®
JC, NJ USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 15:59:28 (EST)

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Check out the front page picture. Ugh. www.latimes.com
Jerzy from the Block®
JC, NJ USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 15:56:20 (EST)

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Don, are you REALLY from Johnston? what ever happened to that Antonio Bandana you used to wear?
Don Juan
USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 15:45:41 (EST)

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Don that's a combination of two things, the bril-cream from your hair and the dead skin flakes are jetsam from the last person you dismembered.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 15:32:13 (EST)

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has anyone had that ear cleaning treatment with the little cones of wax on fire?
Master Bates
USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 15:10:10 (EST)

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Okay Proc, what do you call the wad of dead skin flakes and grease that one scrapes out of the folds in ones ear?
Don
Q-Tip, USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 15:04:43 (EST)

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Willy darling, aren't you going to share the pictures of our tete a tete at the Continental with the lurk? Or do you want to keep me all to yourself?
Jerzy from the Block®
JC, NJ USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 15:03:53 (EST)

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I caught that similarity, but didn't want to say anything until I knew what the word meant. Thanks. Heh.
Jerzy from the Block®
JC, NJ USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 14:59:36 (EST)

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that ain't no compulsion pal
Willy
USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 14:59:33 (EST)

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ankylproctia-(an kil o PROK tee uh)n.- A severe constriction of the anus. [greek ankylos-bent,crooked + proktos-anus] (I figured you'd like the resemblance of the word proktos to somebody we all know and loath) chiromaniac-(KAI ro MAY nee ak)n.- A compulsive masturbator. and last, but certainly not least- cacafuego-(kak uh FWAY go)n.- A braggart; literally a "shit-fire." [spanish caca-shit + fuego-fire] I can't imagine what compelled me to call MJ THAT!
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 14:54:23 (EST)

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Definitions to follow shortly, but don't cook anything til you check this story.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 14:10:14 (EST)

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that's a lie! i'm taken by my first cousin
Willy
USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 13:44:13 (EST)

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Aw, gee, thanks MJ®. I'm too busy to look those words up today, Proctor. Would ya mind givin' us the definition along with the veiled insult? Thanks! You're the BEST! :|
Jerzy from the Block®
JC, NJ USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 13:41:29 (EST)

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Wlly is more of a chiromaniac and as for you MJ you're definitely a cacafuego.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 13:26:53 (EST)

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You leave Jerzy alone. Now Willy, he's fair game. He's done and gone and marriaged with his MA!
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 13:09:45 (EST)

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Is it just me or is Jerzy in a constant state of anylproctia?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 12:48:10 (EST)

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omnifutuant-(om nee FOO tyoo ant)adj.- Prone to engage in sexual activity with anything.
D.I.E.
USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 12:31:58 (EST)

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The rumor that I am omnifutuant is mildly exaggerated.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 12:29:31 (EST)

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my ass is one big cheek...ass is my face...
Louie Anderson
USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 12:22:38 (EST)

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next item on the merch list outta be Benny's Ben Wa Balls
Willy
USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 12:05:42 (EST)

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I don't know 'bout none'a you but this long pig gots two ass cheeks...
Willy
USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 11:49:48 (EST)

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I suppose you could be just massively backed up. Seems to me two cheeks are necessary to place an asshole betwixt. So I suppose if you're unipygic you're also full of shit.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 10:31:21 (EST)

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So, fellow lurkers. I have decided to unleash a little crazy and will be training for my first half-marathon (13.1 miles) come the end of February (the race is in May). The longest distance I have run is 6.2 miles (10K). I'm really excited for the challenge, but a little scared too. I've worked out my training schedule and everything. Yeah. So. Bear with me.
Jerzy from the Block®
JC, NJ USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 09:24:57 (EST)

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If you had only one ass cheek, would that mean you had only one leg? Discuss.
Jerzy from the Block®
JC, NJ USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 09:08:59 (EST)

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unipygic-(yoo ni PIE gik)adj.- Having but one ass cheek. [latin unus- one + greek pyge- rump] literally, half-assed.
D.I.E.
USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 09:01:36 (EST)

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The memory is also affected by aging and I finally remebered to bring in a book I've been meaning to share with the lurk for a month. It's called Depraved and Insulting English by Peter Novobatzky and Ammon shea. I think it has the potential to qualify as the official handbook of the lurk, but I'll leave that for us all to decide rather than me going off "unipygic" and decide myself.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 08:49:53 (EST)

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I see I wasn't the only one up at 4AM. NOT that I had to be, NOT that I was still up, but just cuz. This aging crap sucks and the senior discounts are still WAY too far off to make a difference.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 08:32:16 (EST)

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I think I need the kiddy explanation.
Pete Townshend
USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 04:03:00 (EST)

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They let Louie Anderson on TV, how come Benny don't got no bling bling?
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 01:11:57 (EST)

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CUTE BAND ALERT!!! Benny Sizzler just named cute band of the month!
Sassy Magazine <editor@sassymagazine.com>
NY, NY USA - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 19:32:32 (EST)

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Just realized that you can make the frog and grasshopper movies full screen. Most cool! Time for me to blow this clambake. I'm out[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]~~~~~~~~~~
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 17:02:52 (EST)

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Are they about the weight and consistency of a couple frogs?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 16:17:55 (EST)

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Hey I just read that log about levitating my butt. Can you do my wallets while you're at it?
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 16:16:14 (EST)

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Hey Willy, why don't you set your mom up with Saskatoon Dave? He loves Leonardo. Right Dave?
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 16:15:18 (EST)

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Poke your eyes out now and save yourself the pain Willy.


Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 15:58:17 (EST)

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Here's one for the hardcore Benny Booster


singing a saska-tune
USA - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 15:53:20 (EST)

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THAT'S right! Tonight is the night that Willy is going on a date with his MOM.
Jerzy from the Block®
JC, NJ USA - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 15:52:00 (EST)

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need i write more? I'm off to Leonardo soon...wish me well...if I do NOT return it's because I've gouged my own eyes out in a theater seat...
Willy Friday
USA - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 15:42:29 (EST)

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If you blink you'll miss it
FLASH IN THE PAN
USA - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 15:25:07 (EST)

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To whom it may concern: please be advised that the revised rehearsal schedule for today's cutest band is set for this upcoming Friday.
Benny Sizzler Practice Coordinator <rolo@dex.com>
USA - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 14:59:24 (EST)

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that's not the only thing 'round these here parts that needs levitation...what's the word on Wednesday jimjims?
Willy
USA - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 14:32:07 (EST)

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yea, i will give you 50 loonies for more sizz shit..........what is that in us cash? 3 bucks? no its gota be mor ethan that i dont know. anyway, tell me if you are interested at all, i will for sure send you some beaver bucks for some good rock and roll fun! good good......
d.t.f <david@glhs.ca>
saska, fucking toon - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 14:24:05 (EST)

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I'm gonna have to get one of those things and we can levitate Willy's drum riser at the next gig or if I can't afford one big enough for that maybe I can get one that can levitate MJ's butt. Hell it would be the perfect accompaniment to the fog machine.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 14:16:52 (EST)

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They friggin levitated a sumo wrestler too!! (well it's really not as good as the action packed frog and grasshopper clips, but what the fuck he's one massive frog!)
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 14:12:50 (EST)

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I'll huff and I'll puff and... aw forget it.
Big Bad Wolf
USA - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 13:50:19 (EST)

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Somebody, anybody-get below me and BLOW me!
Luscious Lurker <toolonely@foryou.com>
USA - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 13:28:19 (EST)

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Score: Chickens- 1 Longpigs- 0
Rooster Cockburn
USA - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 13:26:55 (EST)

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well Busy, then you can pretend you're checking the kiddy explanation cuz you're "busy", not cuz you can't comprehend.... Go ahead we won't tell.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 12:34:08 (EST)

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Like I get paid to scroll thru somebody else's lameass website.
Busy Lurker <toobusy@foryou.com>
USA - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 12:28:03 (EST)

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Shazam shazam shazam... word
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 11:56:31 (EST)

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well golly gee willy-kers
Willy
USA - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 11:55:45 (EST)

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If we have floating frogs why not a 60 ft tall lava lamp as a town's centerpiece.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 11:47:30 (EST)

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here's the kiddy version of the floating frog explanation (talking slowly and clearly so even Jerzy can understand)
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 11:21:51 (EST)

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It's diamagnetic levitation. The little fucker is actually floating in mid-air, and I don't mean they have riding as blast of air. The whole explanation is in there if you check the rest of the web page. At least these guys have a sense of humor too. The foil helmet bit is part of their page.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 11:18:56 (EST)

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Lilly was 8yrs old. It's all my fathers fault!
Pete Townshend
USA - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 11:16:07 (EST)

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Okay, that frog. I'm not sure what i'm looking at. Is he swimming around in a toilet bowl?
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 10:50:44 (EST)

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MJ check out the floating frog it's guaranteed to levitate your spirits. Maybe they could reopen Crescent Park with a levitation ride as the main attraction.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 10:29:13 (EST)

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Glad you realize all the hard work that went into shoveling the blue jizz of '03. If anybody sees that wise- ass Java Script Minkey, Boris, around here will they send him 'round back to the bulkhead? Thanks.-The Captain
BSTC
USA - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 09:58:05 (EST)

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now THAT'S profound
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 09:52:47 (EST)

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I do.
Chong
USA - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 09:44:14 (EST)

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Good morning, lurk. I have nothing interesting to say.
Jerzy from the Block®
JC, NJ USA - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 09:31:37 (EST)

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Strawberries and grasshoppers too!
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 09:08:45 (EST)

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YE GADS!!! THEY'VE LEVITATED A FROG!! I shit thee not, check the movie of the flying frog (no stapled on wings either)
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 09:07:02 (EST)

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FINALLY!!! Practical protection from mind controlling rays!
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 08:52:01 (EST)

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I see the jizz blizzard has passed (jizzard?). The kids will never believe us when we tell them how deep it got. I must say the BSTC jizz shovel squad did a bang up job of cleaning right down to the curb. There is nary a gif in sight.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 08:33:25 (EST)

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I know the lady on the candy wrapper has a pretty mouth boris, butt please keep your jizzersize to your Pete Townsend tribute page.
Don
Doit, USA - Monday, January 13, 2003 at 23:33:44 (EST)

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Dave will pay 50 loonies for some more hits. Give it up, Sizz.
MJ®
USA - Monday, January 13, 2003 at 23:29:23 (EST)

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Now isn't that MUCH better kids? Lurking without all the smurf jizz courtesy of BORIS....? Hmmm?
BSTC <Borriswill@pay.com>
USA - Monday, January 13, 2003 at 23:18:47 (EST)

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Is that 50 Canadian bucks, Dave? Jesus! You cheap motherfucker! Trying to pull one over on good ol' Benny Sizzler...and MJ® is your sweet auntie too. You bitch!
Jerzy from the Block®
JC, NJ USA - Monday, January 13, 2003 at 19:50:13 (EST)

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yea willy, the commas do rot.....and i do love those 5