lurkives 12/11/02 - 1/2/03
This lurkive brought to you by

Hey Boris, why don't you make it up to me with a pinch...?
BSTC
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 18:45:49 (EST)

Marriage is for lovers!
MJ®
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 18:45:05 (EST)

we were busy celebrating the first anniversary of two sizzlers blowing off a boris gig -- that BOTH married yarworths managed to attend. by the way. da.
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 18:12:12 (EST)

blow me Chong...blow me...
Willard
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 17:42:51 (EST)

Hymers and Proctor sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G
MJ®
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 17:17:21 (EST)

how DID Hymers get home? THAT is the nagging question...
3 finga
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 17:10:43 (EST)

me at a bowling alley? on a Saturday night? whaddareyoufuckin'high?
Chymers
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 17:08:55 (EST)

Hymers made the trek on my back so I'll take double credit there. It was the balls to see Yarworth make an appearance at the jam. We should plan a Sluggo-napping for the next gig. well I've had enuf for one day I'm out[[[{{{((()))}}}]]]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 17:07:56 (EST)

And lest we not forget HYMERS, bloody HYMERS who made the trek. And Yarworth too.
MJ®
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 17:04:26 (EST)

Are you saying I SHOULD GIVE A BROW TO TUCKER?
MJ®
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 17:03:10 (EST)

Even on his back Sid rocks harder than I could ever dream of rocking. Big World lives!
MJ®
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 17:02:29 (EST)

MJ maybe you could donate your extra brow to someone who is brow challenged
p
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 17:02:21 (EST)

It was after I left, but I have it on herniated authority that Sid was indeed on the deck. The other guys in the band must be used to it cuz they just stepped up to the mike and started singing his part. Some Sid-heads were at the front of the stage encouraging him to get up, but he just smiled and shook his head.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 17:00:53 (EST)

My eyebrows are so distinct I have THREE!
MJ®
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 17:00:20 (EST)

when do we get see the photographic and i mean graphic evidence? how did "Gary's" photographer work out?
Foghorn Fog Juice
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 16:57:01 (EST)

jerzy would rather do a unibrow than rock like a true punk
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 16:55:49 (EST)

And sniffing out fog juice
MJ®
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 16:55:39 (EST)

Dear Lord in Heaven. Did that actually happen? I was too busy signing autographs and posing for snaps.
MJ®
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 16:55:05 (EST)

illusive? is that what they call it when you pass out on stage and can't get up?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 16:53:39 (EST)

Too bad Jerzy couldn't see it in her heart to get out of the sack with that man who isn't her husband and come to Middleblob to rock
MJ®
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 16:53:20 (EST)

Hey, Chong, get BELOW ME and, well...you know...
MJ®
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 16:52:02 (EST)

It was no mere illusion, that gig FUCKIN ROCKED!! If Sid wasn't already a souse he would of taken up the habit half way through the second song. I gotta pity the next band to meet the same fate. They'll be succombing to envy and despair one by one from here on in.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 16:51:38 (EST)

...and of the elusive Proctor...
BSTC
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 16:51:25 (EST)

where's Chong? i need somebody below me...
Willard
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 16:51:18 (EST)

Oh don't worry, photographic eveidence of the gig exists. Even of the illusive Sid...
BSTC
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 16:47:28 (EST)

But, but...I have a concert in my MIND to perform...
MJ®
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 16:46:08 (EST)

Too bad the Wormtown contingent, Bruce Lee's gay son and Boris the Married couldn't make it, eh boys?
MJ®
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 16:44:52 (EST)

OK MJ just put down the incense burner slowly. We've got a nice room with clouds painted on all the walls waiting for you.
MFDC- Security
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 16:44:12 (EST)

Is it me or did that gig rock?
MJ®
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 16:43:47 (EST)

there's a led zeppelin 12 steps of the stairway to heaven joke in there somewhere.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 16:41:01 (EST)

I'm fucking hooked on Fog Juice, I admit it. That's the first step isn't it?
MJ® <Fog@Hog.com>
MIddleblob Rehab Center, USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 16:36:43 (EST)

..erp..That was SOME bottled kitten I had for lunch. Okay. Now where were we and who was I ripping a new one?
MJ®
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 16:34:13 (EST)

LINT?!!!!!!!!! Did someone say LINT?!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Barry Cowsill <lint@hate.com>
Newport, RI USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 16:28:57 (EST)

If you're looking for navel lint for color variety for your knitting needs....
world's largest navel lint collection
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 16:25:08 (EST)

is lint the secret ingredient in bLINTzes?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 16:18:17 (EST)

...well, you know how you always get that lint stuck in the pee hole of your dick? I've been collecting it and putting it in a big water dispenser jar for the last couple years (okay 13). I've got enough now to knit my own touque, jumper and mittens.
Man Janesfield
F.Lint, MI USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 16:06:35 (EST)

MJ must be doing one mother of a gullet stuffing to still be chowing down 4 hours later.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 16:05:57 (EST)

Where be MJ and boris? Off on some anniversary excursion? Perhaps a tour of little known colonial leech fields?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 15:53:14 (EST)

are you picking on me?
joe dickless
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 15:38:08 (EST)

a person's a person, no matter how small
Horton's Who
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 15:26:29 (EST)

it's a small world
Magoo
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 15:21:36 (EST)

where'd everybody go?
Sid
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 14:51:56 (EST)

I know one guy who always did the drums justice, however doing sound was damn near the only thing you could count on him to do correctly due to his affection for the pure snow-white shit.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 14:27:28 (EST)

word to the smoke machine...and your smoke machine, too...as for the sound guy, I haven't yet found one worth his weight in pure snow-white shit...
Will E.
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 14:15:03 (EST)

We just caught some weirdo in the john with the hot water cranked and the room full of steam. The little freak was cavorting in the steam making evil pouty faces, playing air guitar, and stopping occasionally to raise a hand in a devil horns gesture. What is this town coming to anyway?
The Cook at the Middleblob Diner
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 13:57:22 (EST)

Which recycle bin do you put a bonzai kitten in when you're done with them?
an ecologically concerned lurker
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 13:50:31 (EST)

Willy that sound man done your kick wrong.... and that JUST ain't right. oh yeah, word to your alo
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 13:36:31 (EST)

alo?
Willy
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 13:21:28 (EST)

I am working overtime.
Willy's ass
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 13:09:26 (EST)

One of our patients is missing. We warn everyone in the Middleblob area to be on the lookout for a diminutive long-haired rockstar. The patient is likely to be observed becoming glassy-eyed at the sight of steam, fog, smoke, or visible fumes of any kind. If spotted please make no attempt to capture as patients have been known to get very testy during fog withdrawal. Contact us here at The Middleblob Fog Detox Center and we will dispatch a team of professionals to subdue the patient. The Management thanks you for your assistance in this matter.
MFDC- Security
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 13:01:48 (EST)

I bet MJ is huffing the smoke from the burnt toast for her sandwich.
a betting lurker
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 12:54:59 (EST)

I don't have the energy or desire to read any of your inane logs, my fellow lurkers, not before lunch anyway. Once I stuff my gullet I'll be back to critique your posts.
MJ®
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 12:27:09 (EST)

I fogged MOST prodigiuosly. The fog rose and swirled then draped itself ever so gracefully across the band members on stage.
the fog machine
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 12:21:52 (EST)

I just ate my second costa rican banana of the day. I am now anxiously awaiting for my flesh to necrotize. If it was good enough for Jim Henson it's good enough for me.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 12:04:27 (EST)

I got a banana panic in my banana hamock.
Dick Hurtz
Holden, MA USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 11:49:33 (EST)

Bill Parcells and Jerry Jones together.... Looks like being a sports writer in Dallas just got REAL easy. We should get some legendary hissy fit debacles twixt these two.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 11:49:26 (EST)

Subject: Poor Kittens..How Horrible... story Please save those kittens! You must see it... My god. In New York there is a Japanese who sells "bonsai-kittens". Sounds like fun - huh? NOT! These animals are squeezed into a bottle. Their urine and faeces are removed through probes. They feed them with a kind of tube. They feed them chemicals to keep their bones soft and flexible so the kittens grow into the shape of the bottle. The animals will stay their as long as they live. They can't walk or move or wash themselves. Bonsai-kittens are becoming a fashion in New York and Asia. See this horror at: http://www.bonsaikitten.com/ Please sign this email in protest against these tortures. If you receive an email with over 500 names, please send a copy to: anacheca@hotmail.com From there this protest will be sent to USA and Mexican animal protection organizations. If you send this to your friends: Use the copy/paste method in an NEW email to keep this readable....
it must be true
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 11:43:46 (EST)

Just received the hoax e-mail about Bill Gates giving money for forwarding e-mails and with a couple of clicks found a site with some much more imaginative hoaxes. My fave has to be the flesh eating bananas (yes I said flesh eating bananas). check the link for the text to start your own banana panic.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 11:32:59 (EST)

What? Someone told me to blow up a car. THe tailpipe was still hot.
CR
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 10:57:20 (EST)

Sure thing there Chong Rickles. I won't tell ANYONE how you got those burns on your lips.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 10:52:37 (EST)

Congrats to Chong for scooping the first significant digit of the new year. You now have officially joined the Lurkers-Without-Any-Hope-Of-Ever-Having-A-Life-In-The-Meat-World-Again Club
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 10:48:02 (EST)

No one wants to hear about your love life.
Chong Rickles
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 10:45:10 (EST)

I awoke to a car hermetically sealed by ice. After giving my car door a severe beating it finally relented and opened with a sigh.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 10:43:44 (EST)

Lurk # 18,000 I truly am better than all of you fucks.
Chong
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 10:40:29 (EST)

Stuck in traffic for a half-an-hour, Laaaame Freeway!!!
Weird Chong Yankovic
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 10:35:30 (EST)

RECITE IT!!! I Bellowed it from the center mike on stage whilst the band made the appropos feedback and assorted chaotic noise.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 10:30:56 (EST)

We here at the The Middleblob Fog Detox Center pride ourselves on our success record at getting rockers off the "stuff". We start treatment off with fog immersion tanks to ease withdrawal and eventually wean the addict down to watching a tea kettle reach a boil from an adjacent room. For obvious reasons visiting hours must be limited by marine weather forecasts of incoming fog and tea time/coffee breaks must be handled carefully so that patients are segregated into those who are allowed steaming beverages and those who are not.
MFDC- Public Relations Officer
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 10:28:17 (EST)

glad to see that the show rocked the mike. yay! please tell me you did not actually recite that poem, proctor. oy.
jerzy on vaca
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 10:25:45 (EST)

looks like I'm solo lurking today, but I have enough pent up logs just from the show to keep the counter from getting cold. I imagine I'll have company later after the Middleblob Fog Detox Center visiting hours are over.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 10:19:12 (EST)

For jerzy and other unfortunates who missed the gig I'd like to re-enact my glorious intro of the band..... "I'm The Prime Minister and this here is Benny Sizzler and by way of introduction I've written a short poem. It's called An Ode To Benny Sizzler (and they don't get more odious than this bunch)... They say we live in dark times and you fear they might be right/ The HOWL and THUNDER you're about to hear will add some proof tonight./ This basement explosion has been brewing here in Middletown a while,/ BENNY SIZZLER is what you call it when it sounds THIS LOUD and VILE./ If you look you'll see this band is made of three guys and ONE REAL MAN,/ And YOU can say that you were there WHEN THE SIZZLE HIT THE FAN!"
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 09:54:18 (EST)

Highlight-O-The-Gig Award goes to Gene for asking if any of the ladies in the audience were turned on by the sight of hernia belts.
Highlight-O-The-Gig Award Presenter
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 09:36:08 (EST)

No willy that gaseous cloud distributed without any lose of life. If it had been from my innards and with the strong prevailing wind inside the club not many would have been left alive to describe the ensuing carnage.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 09:08:59 (EST)

I see someone captured the moment in a photo when the owner of Odd Balls dove from the roof to his death and triggered a small thermo-nuclear device. He allegedly had been wandering the alleyway inside for hours mumbling about some guy named Sid having bankrupted him by drinking 4 months of liquor stock that was in a store room adjacent to the "good" band room in the basement.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 08:52:30 (EST)

Happy Blew Year to lurkers one and all. Last year blew and it's time to start kickin another 365 in the teeth.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 08:42:25 (EST)

Benny Sizzler FUCKIN ROCKED! Our plan to flood the stage with fog to hide the identities of the culpable parties went off without a hitch. A certain diminutive rocker seemed to be being a bit of a fog-hog, but I realized later in the show that said rocker was huffing the fumes. I later caught the same said rocker hitting the fog-juice straight out of the bottle. I fear detox may be neccesary.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, January 02, 2003 at 08:38:43 (EST)

I stage dived at the Benny Sizzler show and came home with odd balls.
Newport Loser
City by the Sea, USA - Wednesday, January 01, 2003 at 21:54:28 (EST)

just checking in. safe and sound and rockin' hard. attended kaiju big battel last night. it was so kick ass. i highly recommend. si. www.kaiju.com
jerzy on vaca
USA - Wednesday, January 01, 2003 at 19:45:46 (EST)

I came to the gig with my rainbow beard lice comb and I came home with it. So that one ain't mine
Proctor
USA - Wednesday, January 01, 2003 at 17:24:03 (EST)

That rainbow lice comb is mine you idiot!
Terry
USA - Wednesday, January 01, 2003 at 17:14:48 (EST)

Holy shit you guys were INTENSE!
Concert Goer
USA - Wednesday, January 01, 2003 at 15:39:18 (EST)

Yeah, uh, that rainbow lice comb is mine...Any chance you can just stck it in a baggy and leave it at the bar for me to pick up this week? Thanks.
Mike <head@lice.com>
Newport, USA - Wednesday, January 01, 2003 at 10:08:44 (EST)

Somebody left a rainbow lice comb in the dressing room of the gig the other night. would that belong to Benny sizzler
The Management <hall@balls.com>
Middleblob, RI USA - Tuesday, December 31, 2002 at 18:29:07 (EST)

Will somebody please tell that fuckin muzac santa to find the nearest buttered highway cone and SQUAT!
Buzz
USA - Tuesday, December 31, 2002 at 15:11:40 (EST)

Yo Gail, you rock sista!!! It was so cool talking to you that night at the Bantam show at the Met. That place is cool. So, when are you gonna play Ralph's? Tonight is the last night they are open as Ralph's since Vincent bought it... crazy freak the place is a dump! ha ha ha p.s. Kim Deal rocks too.... it was cool chattin' bout her, I bet her ear's were bleeding.... seriously there's a picture of her bloody ear on Kelley Deal's site...too funny! Chill sista, hope to see you sometime again soon!
Kat <Katsikes@yahoo.com>
wormtown, ma USA - Tuesday, December 31, 2002 at 13:49:46 (EST)

I'm telling you, it was that ASS that soaked up the kick. That big ole cheesy ASS!
The Soundman
Doghouse, Lane USA - Tuesday, December 31, 2002 at 13:35:40 (EST)

You guys SHREDDED the Oddballs stage like a kneehigh set at Ruggles. PARTY!
Kirkles
Newport, RI USA - Tuesday, December 31, 2002 at 10:30:25 (EST)

Anybody seen my lintbrush? I think I dropped it in one of them there potholes
Cow Patty
USA - Tuesday, December 31, 2002 at 00:10:50 (EST)

Anniversarys are for LOSERS!
MJ®
USA - Monday, December 30, 2002 at 23:51:22 (EST)

WTF? Where am I? What happened?
MJ®
USA - Monday, December 30, 2002 at 23:50:43 (EST)

since we were at anniversary party being thrown *for* us it might've been a wee bit lame to be the first to bail but that's just me.
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, December 30, 2002 at 18:40:04 (EST)

get below me...GET BELOWME...
Willy
USA - Monday, December 30, 2002 at 15:48:04 (EST)

Won't anybody blow me? Why? Why? Why?
The Loneliest Lurker
Middleblow, USA - Monday, December 30, 2002 at 15:19:40 (EST)

oh and Bore Us, thanks for the support...the athletic support...
PS Willy
USA - Monday, December 30, 2002 at 14:33:24 (EST)

hey Proc., was that "smoke" actually coming from a machine or the machinery of your innards?
Willy
USA - Monday, December 30, 2002 at 14:32:45 (EST)

screw you, Gary! always griping!
Richard in Tax Collections
USA - Monday, December 30, 2002 at 14:09:30 (EST)

YEAH WE'LL GET TO IT NOW GET OFF MY BACK!
Gary down in Paving
USA - Monday, December 30, 2002 at 13:40:21 (EST)

yes Odd as in Balls
the OG OB
USA - Monday, December 30, 2002 at 13:36:59 (EST)

hey I hope you guys don't mind me pullin' out your levels during your set...I mean, what's the point of a fucking sound check anyway?
the sound guy
USA - Monday, December 30, 2002 at 13:36:16 (EST)

You mean "Odd" as in "Ball"?
Another Casual Observer
USA - Monday, December 30, 2002 at 13:14:09 (EST)

"rumor" has it, that was a very "odd" show on Saturday night...
a casual observer
USA - Monday, December 30, 2002 at 13:10:32 (EST)

sorry Chong, it's just a funny thing to write, "hey Chong, blow me..." anyway, keep partin' them meat curtains...
Willy Ching
USA - Monday, December 30, 2002 at 12:16:45 (EST)

Why does everyone want me to blow them? Or get below them? Chong like chicks. I eatem raw like sushi!
chong?
USA - Monday, December 30, 2002 at 12:05:40 (EST)

what the frock happened on Saturday night? it's all a big giant huge mystery...Chong, blow me...
Willy
USA - Monday, December 30, 2002 at 11:59:51 (EST)

Holy crap! the rob phelps marketing idea worked!!!!
Chong
USA - Monday, December 30, 2002 at 11:39:40 (EST)

Destroyer
Phelpsy Destroyer
USA - Monday, December 30, 2002 at 10:42:42 (EST)

F.I.D.S. = Flight Information Display System?
avionic expert
Logan, Airport USA - Monday, December 30, 2002 at 09:29:06 (EST)

I never attended young dong high school.
Chong
USA - Monday, December 30, 2002 at 09:24:59 (EST)

http://www.usc.edu/dept/civil_eng/people/students/LEE_CHNG.HTM anyone know this guy???
The Real Slim-Chongy
USA - Monday, December 30, 2002 at 09:19:33 (EST)

so chong's in FID's? cool. dig the 'ooh ooh ah ah ah' in 'all girl's dorm'. good shit. explosive mix of karate and beer.
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, December 30, 2002 at 07:43:06 (EST)

http://homepage.mac.com/liamlunchtray/fids Check out the song girlfriends mom. I wrote it on the crapper.
Chong
USA - Monday, December 30, 2002 at 07:08:04 (EST)

What the fuk was that shit I heard the other night at Club Oddballs? I thought I had poured hot coffee in my lap and was slapping my balls trying to dampen the pain
Maggoo
USA - Monday, December 30, 2002 at 02:10:10 (EST)

Is it safe to come out yet...?
MJ® <late@night.com>
USA - Monday, December 30, 2002 at 01:43:23 (EST)

did you all spontaneously combust?! how WAS IT?!!?!?!??
jerzy on vaca
beantown, ma USA - Sunday, December 29, 2002 at 16:39:50 (EST)

so what happened? as feared boris & natasha would've left warwick for the blob at 11:30 so we had to bag it.
boris
ukrainus, - Sunday, December 29, 2002 at 09:14:29 (EST)

hey, benny sizzler! BENNY!!! break a fucking leg hardcore tonight! i'm sorry i'm gonna miss it, cuz i know you guyz are going to kick ASS. have a safe and happy new year, too! xoxox, your jg
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Saturday, December 28, 2002 at 06:10:45 (EST)

Roll the ugliness....
Benny
Middleblob, USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 21:41:18 (EST)

Aww hell, by the time a real man gets to loggin' in all the lurkers are gone. Ah well. It's just me and the yellow and brown. Guess I'll scroll thru today's brilliant entries and try to relive the day...
MJ®
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 19:37:52 (EST)

this just in: boris picked up a part-time job working for repo men. real goddam repo men. the truck outside had massachusetts plate "REPOS". what the flyin' fook. thinkin' the ukrainusian accent is going to need to return. hopefully, more details at the GEEG. how do these things just continue to happen.

da.
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 18:20:23 (EST)

oh yeah, I'm out[[[{{{((()))}}}]]]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 17:18:41 (EST)

WTF am still here for? I'm off til the 2nd folks so it'll be remote lurking for me again. see y'all at the fest and don't forget your gas mask.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 17:18:09 (EST)

Yeah it would probably be easier at a Providence show. Besides I hear MJ snores like a freight train with rusty wheels. I guess you'l just have to continue to rock vicariously.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 16:59:50 (EST)

Here's the T schedule coming into S. Attleboro. If you can figure what to do about crashing in the Blob you got your ride to the show. I'll e-mail my cell number to MJ so if you decide to do it you can call me (and I can just imagine what you'll call me).
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 16:56:40 (EST)

heh. me thinks it's gonna hafta be another time....the boy and i aren't gonna be wantin' to sleep on someone's floor or couch, if you get my drift. thanks fer tryin' tho....
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 16:54:11 (EST)

Last bus back to Boston is 11:15 so unless you can crash in the Blob til the next day it wouldn't be worth it. Now let me think where could you stay in Middleblob?.............
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 16:32:31 (EST)

I just checked the T schedule. Getting down here is no problem, but getting back would present a problem (weekend schedule is mucho thinner). Last train back is 10:10. Let me see if the buses are any better for the return trip. South Station and the bus terminal are right around the corner from each other.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 16:24:06 (EST)

okay then. i will see if me b/f is down. he'll be just back from 10 days traveling, we haven't seen each other in few weeks - we're meeting at the airport (we got our flight times to coincide)...anyway, we might have to take care of some, uh, er, bidness, iffin' you know what i'm getting at, see? SEE?!!? oh, wait, you may not see as you seem to hafta pay fer your bidness......sorry, i couldn't resist.
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 16:19:50 (EST)

Take the T from Boston to Attleboro or Providence and I will. It's only a couple of bucks and I used to take it back and forth for classes all the time it's not the long of a ride.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 16:13:23 (EST)

SOME of us don't have a car. we're all about mass transit. you gonna heave your prissy, environmentally unfriendly ass in your car/truck and come pick me up?
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 16:10:20 (EST)

That CD may kick ASS and it does, but if you were REAL punk rock you wouldn't settle for Placebo Sizzler and you'd get your ASS to the show. Or was all that punk talk just talk.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 16:07:05 (EST)

I wouldn't know myself actually. i didn't go to the show. I was going to Lupo's and the living room all the time by that point. So it was Lou Miami And The Cosmetics, Roomful Of Blues, The Young Adults, and young upstarts like The Proletariat and Rash of Stabbings for me.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 16:03:57 (EST)

i hafta say that the benny 5 song cd kicks ASS. ASS I SAY!
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 16:02:31 (EST)

musta been HUGE at Least providence high. HUGE.
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 15:52:03 (EST)

I think they wrote that song about this cross dresser that one them ended up partying with. he was making out with "her" and reached in the pants and found that she was "More Than A Woman".
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 15:45:46 (EST)

to me you've always been "More Than A Woman"
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 15:38:55 (EST)

East Providence was so hip we had TAVARES play at our school. Top that lala boy
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 15:27:17 (EST)

Read my new tell all book "I Lintbrush". You'll find out the lurid details of life as a lintbrush in the company of Cowsills. Read about; the ugly arguments about whose socks were whiter, the cases of teeth whitener they consumed weekly, the ruthless way they would wrinkle each others shirts, and ugliest of all the last minute wedgies they've been know to give each other just as they're about to hit the stage.
The Cowsills' Lintbrush
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 15:23:28 (EST)

the cowsills did not. however we do have world-champ alumni (basketball, baseball) unlike Least providence.
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 15:07:30 (EST)

Didn't the Cowsills attend LaSalle? Isn't that how boris got his start in music, he was their sweater roadie right?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 15:02:16 (EST)

I think that haze over the building is getting thicker... and it's moving towards us
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 14:34:48 (EST)

speaking of myself in the third person, Willy will be exiting stage left portly...bop til you blob rock 31 hours or so...and yeah, counting...
Willy
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 14:22:38 (EST)

Yup, we're gonna mow em down on Saturday night and flush some of the local riff-raff at the same time. It's what I like to call Blob-Renewal.
a local politico with unsavory plans
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 13:35:38 (EST)

I'm comin' to a bowling alley near you soon...like Saturday night...
Homey D. Pot
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 13:27:17 (EST)

I caught that one too willy. hopefully they won't bulldoze us while we're inside. Maybe we should set up a perimeter watch for incoming bulldozers.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 13:26:20 (EST)

from same guestbook: Comments: I hope this place is bulldozed for a Home Depot. Talk about cheap...sucky bowling and a terrible "club"
Willy
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 13:19:27 (EST)

heh. he is. and proud of it, sir. heh.
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 13:16:09 (EST)

jerzy's guy is a UNIBROW!!!
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 13:12:40 (EST)

The same guestbook I plucked that Cowsills tidbit out of said the benny fest is almost soldout.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 13:11:18 (EST)

Rock n' Roll Centrale says love me good n' plenty AND that Benny on at 10pm...my recommendation is get thar early methinks will be packed...ran into a friend from outta town and HE says that he and his family will be there at something like fucking 7pm...no shittin' you
Willy
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 13:06:23 (EST)

right. well, the boy has hair on his noggin and well, down THERE, but not on his backside or chest or really his legs or arms. he's beard-challenged too. oh, but he does have an eyebrow.
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 13:01:24 (EST)

someone told me big world doesn't enjoy playing late and there's a third band before BS. so my guess is 4 - 4:30.
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 12:59:03 (EST)

Do you think the Cowsills might show up again? They are SOOOOOOOOOO dreamy!
A Cow Patty
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 12:58:46 (EST)

What time does the Sizzle hit the fan so I can plan my tee time at the miniature golf course accordingly? I thought you guys said 10, but the Halls Of Balls has you listed at 9.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 12:54:16 (EST)

I'm THE must-see entertainer on the island...Benny Sizzler can't touch my cow's sill...Club Rumors is MINE, all MINE!
Barry Um Cowsill's
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 12:52:51 (EST)

NO ONE competes with Cowsills, dude...NO ONE...
Will E.
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 12:51:07 (EST)

no backside bush on me, mine's all strictly topside
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 12:42:00 (EST)

Here's a post from the Halls Of Balls guestbook- Comments: Thursday night was such a blast. I actually met Barry and Rick from the "Cowsill’s" Unbelievable, can’t stop telling my friends what a fantastic time we had. Will be there this Thursday night for sure, it can’t get any better, see you there Steve. Barry Cowsill “A Must See Entertainer” ..... So do you think you guys can compete with REAL Cowsills?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 12:40:12 (EST)

typical we folk have no hair on our backsides
an hirsute Chinam'n
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 12:37:35 (EST)

btw, approaching ROCK minus 33 hours...oh, and counting...
Willy
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 12:36:56 (EST)

Ching you one funni mo-fo
from Planet Blong
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 12:34:55 (EST)

an old friend of mine was a hairsuit chinaman. Cusick was name, he was bigger than me, had thick black hair down past his ass, and a bushy mustache. He WAS a bit beard challenged however.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 12:11:47 (EST)

well now that you bring it up, that IS the rumor
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 12:07:38 (EST)

is it possible that "Se-bastions" is actually CLUB RUMORS? CLUB fucking RUMORS?!
Willy
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 12:05:36 (EST)

um...well...lemme ask you this, have you ever seen a really hirsute chinese person?
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 12:04:37 (EST)

where's my grrrl?
alien from the spacedock®
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 12:03:54 (EST)

Is jerzy dating an alien?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 11:56:35 (EST)

trust me, my boy is so NOT a hirsuitor - his people are not the hairy kind. his ethnic group in general, i mean. see?
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 11:49:16 (EST)

Look at it this way, when you break it down it's $12.50/month. Not too shabby for such a glorious space. I looked around on the web for some shots of the interior and couldn't find any. There are a few in the introductory stuff they gave me. I'll bring them with me to the gig so you can get a peek.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 11:44:01 (EST)

last went as a high-school student. heh heh...have fun with that one proc....the place is unbelievably cool tho'...
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 11:43:37 (EST)

SPALLCHECK!- bullet
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 11:39:40 (EST)

They just raised the prices. It was $150-Household and $85-Individual and it just went up to $180-Household and $150-Individual. all those endowments they have in the market took a hit just like everybody else. In the newsletter they said if they had passed on all the new cost to membership fees the Individual rate would have been $300! I was given a 6 month Gift Membership which is $40 bucks. The Gift Membership only lets you take out 8 books at a pop as opposed to 16 for regular membership. I probably will bite the bulet and upgrade, but if you've ever seen the inside of that place you'd know why.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 11:38:25 (EST)

dude isn't that like a hundred bucks a year?
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 11:27:53 (EST)

They have an annual poetry award for an unpublished poet called The Philbrick Poetry Award so I'll have an inside track for that in a library that's known for supporting unknown poets (and they don't get much more unknown than me).
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 11:26:48 (EST)

And as is mentioned in Hint #1 has gained a new member. That would be me! My friend Sue gave me a membership for an Xmas present last night. She knew I wanted to join so I could have a space to w**k on my writing and obviously loves me dearly cuz she got them to let me in (not an easy case to plead as you can imagine).
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 11:22:05 (EST)

Hint #4- It's the only building in New England designed by the great Philadelphia architect William Strickland. The library also has paintings by Joshua Reynolds, Chester Harding, and Edward Malbone, and an extensive collection of books on Robert Burns and is home to the Bowen private library of unusual first editions and elegant bindings.
Spilz De Beenz- Official Lurk Gossip Columnist
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 11:18:00 (EST)

Hint #3- It predates The Library Of Congress by 47 years and will be celebrating it's 250th anniversary in 2003 and is one of only 17 membership libraries that remain in existence today in the US. It's over 160,000 books date back as far as 1300 and include rarities such as the original double elephant folio edition of Audobon's Birds Of America.
Spilz De Beenz- Official Lurk Gossip Columnist
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 11:10:46 (EST)

what the hay....The Hay?
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 11:05:50 (EST)

Hint #2- In front of this library is a fountain which legend has it that if you drink from the fountain you will return to Providence. The inscription above the fountain reads- "COME HITHER EVERYONE THAT THIRSTETH"
Spilz De Beenz- Official Lurk Gossip Columnist
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 11:02:42 (EST)

Hint #1- What world famous library known to have been frequented by H.P. Lovecraft and Edgar Allen Poe has recently gained a new member?
Spilz De Beenz- Official Lurk Gossip Columnist
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 10:58:47 (EST)

i (heart) the Blob
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 10:57:05 (EST)

Now that Jerzy has some alleged Beantown Boytoy it seems that the tag team of Proc and boris want to gross the fuck out of somebody else. And it seems that they have pointed their ugly stick at the svelte Mr. Chil. I'll have you know that my client will have none of this, and if you want me to bring certain events (smoke machine) to the proper authorities that can be arranged. And boris, I've already file your name with our beloved department of homeland security.
A. Dershowitz
The Blob, USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 10:55:33 (EST)

Here's the Halls Of Balls info page with directions for those who want to see more than one of Middleblob's finest construction sites. Coming from Boston use boris' map then follow the directions from FallRiver on the Halls of Balls page.
a lurker with a lost soul, but a good sense of direction
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 10:29:17 (EST)

The Benny fest is looming larger as it nears. As a women with a certain kind of eyes once said-- "Buckle your seat belts; It's going to be a bumpy night!"
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 10:13:33 (EST)

Middleblob gits no respect....
MJ®
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 10:10:39 (EST)

if you'll notice, i only typed "Middleblob, RI" into yahoo maps, MJ. evidently those fine people believe that the construction yard is the town hot spot. me no guilty.
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 10:09:31 (EST)

I like my women like a like my beer- cold, bubbly, with a bit of a bite, and gassey... oh and of course in a no-return bottle.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 10:08:36 (EST)

Chong, you gots to hold the coffee by the hair. Especially when you're driving AND listening to the hottest sounds of today's music like the Sizz
MJ®
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 10:08:17 (EST)

gun, nothin'....something tells me she'd enjoy offing you much more using a spork. and think of all those heavy bowling balls just crying out to be flung. or the great grip you can get on a duckpin to swing it. just a thought.
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 10:07:40 (EST)

Boris-you just posted directions to a construction materials storage yard. Do you have plans for our out of town guest...?
MJ®
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 10:06:26 (EST)

I like my latte like I like my boytoys: foamy and a bit gamey
MJ®
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 10:05:20 (EST)

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! Jerzy's got a suitor! Jerzy's got a SUITOR! a HIRsuitor. HAHAHAHAHA! * erp *
MJ®
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 10:04:29 (EST)

I like my women like I like my coffee. Hot, black, and all over my crotch.
Ching
Chongfid, USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 09:55:27 (EST)

thousands and thousands and thousands of proctors
Lots-O-Proctors
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 09:53:53 (EST)

Doing they have a 5 day waiting period for guns in the apple? If jerzy's coming to the gig I better start w**king on my disguise now.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 09:49:05 (EST)

December 27, 2002- During a night of drunken debauchery, Proctor decided that Chil was giving him that come hither look and planted a liplock on him. The nice police officer said he wouldn't press charges as long as Proctor never ever told anybody that he had mistaken the officer for Chil and promised to do a better job with his oral hygeine.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 09:45:16 (EST)

thesaurus, no. map to the 'Blob, hell yeah....
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 09:42:55 (EST)

Alright, who gave jerzy a thesaurus? I really get this feeling that she's trying to tell me something, but all that endless legal mumbo-jumbo is distracting from her point.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 09:33:11 (EST)

i just wanted to let the lurk know now that i will be up in beantown on vaca for a week, leaving tomorrow 12/28 and returning the following sunday 1/5. i don't know how often i'll be able to check in, will be ringing in the new year with my b/f at kaiju big battel (www.kaiju.com) and hopefully doing some snowboarding in either western mass or n.h. i hope everyone on the lurk has a safe, fab, kick ass new year!
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 09:31:17 (EST)

December 27, 2002 - During a break in tonight's practice Chil mentioned that he thought the Prime Minister was cute and that he wouldn't mind hooking up with him.
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 09:24:46 (EST)

I think you're right boris, jerzy's singing is pretty effin cool. And how about that last scream (post)? She musta held that note/scream for a half a minute. All the BEST rockers have those great rock'n'roll screams. With a set of lungs like that she could go far in this lurk.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 09:23:50 (EST)

from here on out, there have to be some ground rules if you want me to continue participating on the lurk. proctor, NEVER, EVER, EVER offer, propose, present, suggest, endeavor that ANYTHING sexual could EVER EVER EVER happen between the two of us. don't EVEN imply, intimate, infer, hint or insinuate ANYTHING LIKE THAT COULD EVER POSSIBLY EVER BE POSSIBLE EVER. thank you.
jerzy from the block® <traumatized@injerseycity.com>
jc, nj USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 09:22:43 (EST)

like i said, pretty effin' cool jerz.
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 09:03:51 (EST)

was it something I said?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 08:58:15 (EST)

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i think i have to leave the lurk now.
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 08:46:27 (EST)

Well what d'ya know. jerzy's a friggin romantic! The tender depth of sentiment in those lyrics and the heartfelt crooning delivery left me.... how shall I say this? It left me with tears falling like a gentle sring mist. jerzy if you're ever up this way I'd be glad to fuck the brown and yellow's off you in some skanky motel.... Well, that is as long as you don't actually say anything to me during the exchange... well, maybe a little barking would be OK.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 08:35:45 (EST)

jerz i thought it was pretty effin' cool. but what the heck does boris know...he also listened to the entire new "Pretenders" album last night. name's in quotes because Hynde is the only original left.
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 07:49:25 (EST)

wow, did the "singing" have a siren effect?! i feel soooo powerful!
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Friday, December 27, 2002 at 06:49:47 (EST)

remember the conditions under which certain "singing" took place! perhaps SOMEONE should be so kind as to tip off the rest of the lurk...?! oh, and i got a lovely package in my snailmail today...postmarked middleblob. yay! dekuji mockrat!
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 21:05:10 (EST)

hahahaha! oh dear god, now what?!!? hey! what's that over there!
jerzy from the block® <nervouslytryingto@distractthelurkers.com>
jc, nj USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 21:01:58 (EST)

heh heh...pubic works...heh heh...
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 19:02:13 (EST)

I sure HOPE they're saying "All I want is a buck"
Anita Bryant
FL - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 19:01:17 (EST)

When can a lurker also be a SINGER?
MJ®
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 18:57:54 (EST)

at Oddballs. Dear Lord, how WILL I negotiate that parking lot?! Oh my, what's THIS?!
MJ®
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 17:12:20 (EST)

you fucking bastards. BASTIONS BASTIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BSTC
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 17:10:30 (EST)

I'm off to eat leftovers and dream of fog banks rolling into Middleblob. I'm out((({{{[[[]]]}}})))~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 17:10:23 (EST)

we gotta get to that parking lot one of these days
Wayne down in repaving
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 17:05:58 (EST)

we gotta get to that parking lot one of these days
Wayne down in repaving
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 17:05:51 (EST)

that's SCHMOG from the SCHMOG machine
Greg
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 17:02:28 (EST)

the bastions of bowling?
shitstarting spallchecker
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 17:02:09 (EST)

And I must add... NOW THAT'S SCENIC!!!
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 17:01:07 (EST)

that's SEBASTIANS...spall check?!
Hot for Teacher
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 16:59:30 (EST)

What's that yellow haze over the building?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 16:59:04 (EST)

don't get me wrong Mean Jo, there's nothing wrong with a nice set of wallet tits...I mean, talk about convenience...
Avril Lavigne
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 16:58:51 (EST)

that's no Benny Fest you smell Procaccini...
Quimby
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 16:54:58 (EST)

Ouch
Wallet W. Tits
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 16:54:40 (EST)

a singer with snaps?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 16:52:40 (EST)

I smell a Benny fest in the near future. It's kinda like old soiled skivvies sizzling on the griddle.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 16:48:52 (EST)

WITH snaps, that's important
Willy
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 16:43:45 (EST)

is a wallet tits
Shit Starter
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 16:37:17 (EST)

on this lurk
S Starts
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 16:36:48 (EST)

SOMEBODY
SS
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 16:36:23 (EST)

is a SINGER!
SS
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 16:31:09 (EST)

on this lurk
S Starts
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 16:30:55 (EST)

SOMEBODY
S Starter
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 16:30:38 (EST)

I just may possibly crap that large on acounta I eat dog poop. That shit goes right thru ye.
Burl Hives
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 16:30:10 (EST)

That hairy bastard puts the X in Xmas that's for sure. As in "put an 'X' thru his name for next year's guestlist".
Proctor' s relatives
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 16:29:03 (EST)

I think the imposter willy is dreamy
jerzy from the crock
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 16:15:23 (EST)

I'd like to register a complaint®
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 16:10:57 (EST)

got dammit...a post Xmas impish imposter...beat it, kid
the real Willy
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 16:08:14 (EST)

Oh it's me alright®
Willy®
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 16:06:02 (EST)

comment on THAT one...
sweet ass lady finger Willy
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 15:59:48 (EST)

the real Willy is standing...
Willy stood up
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 15:57:49 (EST)

Is the sled with the crap named "rosebutt" by any chance? And is that a GENUINE certified Orson Wells Crap® on the sled?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 15:57:21 (EST)

that willy sure is dreamy! sigh.
not really jerzy from the block, no REALLY®
jc, nj USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 15:56:06 (EST)

willard gets all the girls
ben
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 15:43:17 (EST)

me thinks someone be messin' wit me - 'tis that REALLY willy?!
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 15:39:17 (EST)

yo Jerz word to ye, see? SEE?!
Willard
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 15:23:59 (EST)

heh. EXACTLY, proctor.
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 15:10:24 (EST)

rock'n'roll and vomit go together like peanut butter and jelly, pizza and beer, jerzy and wall street.....
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 15:02:41 (EST)

willy doens't acknowledge me anymore. me thinks he's found himself a new grrrl. sniff. i TOLD you people, i may work on wall street, but i'm STILL punk rock!
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 14:55:01 (EST)

BOOT! anyway, what's the Benny Confidence Factor, scale of zero to one?
Willy
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 14:51:45 (EST)

everybody booted so i'm out, there IS a Dog..
boris
- Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 14:49:21 (EST)

thought so...headon collision between vomit, lungs.
boris
- Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 14:48:19 (EST)

not sure...my guess: OD on somethin' or other, Bore Us...somethin' r' other...
Quilly
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 14:46:23 (EST)

bungalow bill is on radioparadise.com right now. heh. john and yoko. nice.
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 14:46:06 (EST)

RIGHT right.
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 14:43:26 (EST)

I think the passed out girl on the couch may have been considering making a snow angel. I'm just saying MAYBE....
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 14:34:04 (EST)

hey willy trying to win a bet here, what did topper headon die from? think i got the other one (first name - nick)..
boris
- Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 14:32:15 (EST)

that is so wrong.
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 14:21:59 (EST)

that's hideous...hideous
sWilly
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 14:21:49 (EST)

find the jerzy from the block in these pictures
projectile jerzy
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 14:19:08 (EST)

RECOVERY!??! Rehab is for quitters. I fully intend to let my disease run it's glorious course without the intrusive machinations of the so-called medical professionals.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 14:16:46 (EST)

happy Boxing Day...fucking Boxing Day...countdown, Rock minus 2.5 days...counting...
Lady Finger Willy
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 14:16:09 (EST)

i've eaten leftovers, which are repeating on me, and five pieces of chocolate so far today. there are so many things i could be doing if i didn't have to be here. grrrumble, grrrumble.
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 14:11:24 (EST)

too much friggin chocolate in boris' stocking. i'll be diabetic by sundown.
boris
- Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 14:07:31 (EST)

heh. you're certainly on a roll today, boris. tee hee!
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 14:00:09 (EST)

but if proc got rid of 'it' wouldn't he have trouble pronouncing his new name?

"Hello I'm Mister Shhead."

it just don't flow.
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 13:54:40 (EST)

well, the first step to recovery is admitting that there's a problem. perhaps you should go see a doctor to help you get rid of "it".
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 13:47:33 (EST)

I don't know what I have, but I got it bad
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 13:28:05 (EST)

i BLOB everyone!!!
Don
Cum Hug, USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 13:03:31 (EST)

Yes, boris that game was a joke. Too bad for Spurs though, isn'tit.
Don
Boob Tube, USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 13:02:19 (EST)

i (heart) the lurk!
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 13:02:11 (EST)

oh, go scratch!
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 13:01:52 (EST)

MJ® told me I have a face impediment. Ain't that sweet?
Don
Jo Jo town, USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 12:59:24 (EST)

i (heart) everyone
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 12:46:27 (EST)

tourette's my ass. dyslexia is a disease terrible.
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 12:45:59 (EST)

I don't think suffer is the right word, I think you quite enjoy it
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 12:42:56 (EST)

sometimes i think i suffer from tourettes. my bad.
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 12:38:35 (EST)

please do boris, you cruel-ass motherfucking anal blood fart bitch.
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 12:37:20 (EST)

boris you DEFINITELY have your shitstater in high gear today
an anonymous snowblower
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 12:35:25 (EST)

hey jerz while we're out buying ourselves a new life, would you like us to make you a spare set of keys?
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 12:33:38 (EST)

No, but I figgered I could sell some snow cones in benny brown and yellow at the gig.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 12:31:39 (EST)

agreed with MJ, jerz. it's a small state in more ways than size. and i am mean, but i really really DID turn on the stupid footie match just in time to see some arsenal diaperboy score the easiest goal in the history of soccer. it's not MJ's fault that she lives with such a ... such a .... johnstonian.
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 12:30:52 (EST)

HAHAHAHHAHA! Proctor. Is THAT your "smoke" machine you're bringing..?!
MJ®
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 12:29:19 (EST)

check my snow blower for a REAL laugh
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 12:28:11 (EST)

Jerzy, my apologies. I started the extreme local pissing contest of the worst kind. That, I did. But i really think the lurk will agree that Boris is a cruel cruel man...
MJ®
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 12:27:27 (EST)

we don't need a life, we got a lurk
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 12:25:35 (EST)

Check the first door on the left on the link for a pic of me clearing the snow out this morning.
Snow Blower Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 12:24:30 (EST)

what the HELL kind of pissing contest is this? jesus people, get a LIFE!
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 12:24:20 (EST)

i am SO dead.
boris
- Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 12:18:22 (EST)

da, mean boris, da....

boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 12:14:38 (EST)

If you have to be stuck in Warwick I guess sucking exhaust from jet engines makes sense, but wouldn't it ease the pain quicker if you just hooked the hose to the old LTD and a respirator and took a few deep breaths.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 12:14:35 (EST)

Okay, well the best part of Warwick really IS the airport. No shit, proctor. You see the MJ's family used to pile into the fake woody LTD wagon and drive over to the airport. Park under runway 10 just off the road, stand on the roof of the wagon, and scream as 727's screamed 50 fett ove our heads on landing. Dumping Jet A and busting eardrums. Now that's a rad childhod memory. I still do it.
MJ®
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 12:10:21 (EST)

I never thought I'd live to see the day someone began a sentence "The best part of Warwick is..." Thanks for the laugh of the week boris.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 12:06:02 (EST)

Rut 2 is in a class all by itself. You'd have to take every lousy shopping center from five other towns to make a pile of shit that equaled Balled Hill
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 12:00:51 (EST)

See Boris punished me. He won't allow the picture I just posted to show up. because he's mean like that. Just like all those West Bayers are.
MJ®
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 12:00:17 (EST)

best part of warwick is, it can handle airplanes bigger than ones that start with rubber bands, so one can get the hell OUT of this retahhhded state. muy importante.
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 11:59:56 (EST)

and boring-ton is just so easy i won't even GO there, da...
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 11:58:30 (EST)

Alright, I'll give you the names of the Oz guys. It's Hunk, Zeke, and Hickory. Now see if you can guess which one's which.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 11:58:18 (EST)

BALLED hill Road. That's fucking good. Now, I'm not gonna take any heat for the state of Middleblob's West Main Road am I...?Site of Oddballs and the Benny Sizzler gig...?

USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 11:56:46 (EST)

and with the possible exception of rumstick point the entire city of EP looks NOTHING like route 2 either, da...
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 11:55:35 (EST)

because the main strip thru middleblob coming outta newport looks NOTHING like route 2, da.
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 11:54:37 (EST)

route 2, she's got you there. They should change the name from Bald Hill Road to Balled Hill Road
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 11:51:46 (EST)

MARTY!!!!! The Mammoth Mart had a tube tester that was it's best feature. I'd go trash picking for non-functioning electronics then I'd pull all the tubes out of the back and take them all to test on the tube tester. It had these awsome big knobs that you had to set to the right juice level. If I couldn't fix the junk-o-the-day I'd take the tubes and try to blow them up on the tester. I guess it's no wonder I'm currently wanted in three states for smoke alarm violations.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 11:49:43 (EST)

OH Yeah, well I even remember when my tits weren't wallets and I'd sashay down to 6 corners to show all the gents my stuff.
OLE Lady Schroeder
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 11:48:27 (EST)

The only thing they got going for them is the old Quonset Point. And if they can keep the EDC of that property and from putting up a shitload of crap office buildings and just leave the old WWII structure intact, they'll be okay
MJ®
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 11:46:55 (EST)

Jerzy, FUCK the West Bay. Take it from me, the likes of Boris and other clueless idiots ruined that point of land. I got two words for Boris: Route 2.
MJ®
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 11:44:57 (EST)

I even remember when Six Corners had six corners.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 11:43:44 (EST)

Portsmouth, East Providence, Borrington, we're all East Bay. Can't we just get along? One thing tho, Portsmouth was fucked to let Kaiser Aluminun destroy their waterfront forever with that big fucking tower. There, I said it.
MJ®
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 11:42:26 (EST)

fuckin geocities blocked my link...ok, so proc, i have NO idea what you're talking about....

ps: jerz, so you know, everything on "that" side of narragansett bay sucks. VIVA OAKLAND BEACH!!
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 11:41:42 (EST)

Cow fields? In EP we got drunk in brownfields.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 11:35:00 (EST)

And don't forget the party boat that used to ferry drunks from Crescent Park to Rocky Point. In the 40's and 50's it was THE floating fest of dancing, boozing, and general delinquency.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 11:33:54 (EST)

AHHHH, the old Shore Dinner Hall. I loved their clamcakes, I used to fill my pockets up with em before we went on the rides. I'd hurl.... let me rephrase that. I'd THROW those lucious grease ball at the clown face target on the carousel and drop them on people on the midway from that ski-lift-thingy ride.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 11:30:00 (EST)

Homey I'm straight outta portsmouth where we get drunk in cow feilds. It was all about weirhauser (sp?)when I was a lad. And we had some pretty sweet chevettes in our day too!
Chong
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 11:26:50 (EST)

Fuck me Proctor, you probably remember Shore Dinner Hall dances and trolley rides down Willett Ave.
MJ®
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 11:26:07 (EST)

C'MON NOW!!! Nobody remembers Mammoth Mart? It was where The Burlington Coat Factory currently resides. You fucks probably don't even remember The Darlton Theater.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 11:23:33 (EST)

I may be a Borrington loser but I lived close enough to the border to appreciate the muscle cars that came outta Rivvy. Real men and real grease. Not the wasp trash that Borrington produced. And c'mon-Crescent park was TIT
MJ®
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 11:19:56 (EST)

Chong I hope you got paid for that obvious plug of a furniture store . No nirope prices in Oz, they bought strictly wholesale from the slave labor camp known as Munchkin Land.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 11:19:18 (EST)

Everything else is definately the shit.
Chong
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 11:17:17 (EST)

the only good thing about riverside is that diner that doubles as a comic-book shop.
Chong
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 11:15:58 (EST)

Fuck Zayre's and Ames the shit was GRANTS!!!!!!!! In Riverside!
MJ®
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 11:12:31 (EST)

The tin man was Nick, the lion was Ron, and the scarecrow was pete.
chong
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 11:11:04 (EST)

then you guys probably don't remember the A&P do ya?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 11:10:16 (EST)

It was Marty- I found this little blurb on a site for old stock certificates (people collect anything don't they)... Mammoth Mart, Inc., Maine, corporate seal from 1959, 100 shares, no. C 568, Dec. 1964, green border, Vignette of neatly dressed elephant, holding a button with the name Marty, 45 uro = f 99.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 11:08:14 (EST)

ahh yes, world-famous bowling balls. thing is, the caption says they fished it out of the lady's goddamterlet. THAT earned a few grunts.
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 11:07:55 (EST)

I don't know about no warwick shoppers mall but Zayres was where ames was before it was ames. Oh man the days of so-fro fabrics, radio-shack and Zayre's popcorn. Don't get any better than that.
Chong
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 11:06:38 (EST)

I have a after holiday quiz for everybody. In the Wizard of Oz the Scarecrow, Cowardly Lion, and The Tin Man all have names back in black and white Kansas. What are the three names? It's just first names BTW.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 10:57:32 (EST)

i have no idea what you're talking about proc

boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 10:57:12 (EST)

are you confusing Warwick Shopper's World with The Warwick Mall. I still remember the EP dueling of the Warwick Shopper's World and Zayre's on opposing sides of Taunton Ave. Eventually they merged after driving each other to the brink of bankruptcy and they went under anyway victim of the Warwick mall mania. Of course the best store of this ilk is long gone. Anybody else still have dreams of Mammoth Mart and the elephant in a smock logo? He had a name too, Wooly perhaps?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 10:52:45 (EST)

do i see the excellent spurs comeback?? NOOOOOOOO!!!! i turn on the tube and that frog fancypants thierry 'not dred' henry gets a boxing day gift. gee, tanx MJ. i need to see easy gooner goals that a dwarf with two broken ankles could score. wtf.
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 10:52:21 (EST)

And one more post before I go and clear the science project out my crotch, JG sings. Bawdy. Works the room blue. Makes Ann Margeret look like Avril Lavigne. Trust me.
MJ®
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 10:42:28 (EST)

Speaking of crimes against nature, Boris should be attached to the tube watching footy at this very moment.
MJ®
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 10:40:59 (EST)

Proctor, that bitch that owns that bar will get a call from me when my people are good and ready to give her a call...and like it. Also, might I remind you that peeing a Benny mascot in the snow is a crime against nature.
MJ®
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 10:40:04 (EST)

Chong, Zayre's was the anchor of the Warwick Shopper's Mall in '68. Am I correct? And if so, what a marvelous time warp you live in. PANASONIC!!!!!!
MJ®
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 10:36:50 (EST)

Morning all. A real man says happy day after mythmas. Thank Dog we didn't have an inpalement of the real variety what with Jrz going spider lady on the side of the building
MJ®
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 10:34:39 (EST)

thank you for not impaling yourself on any fenceposts jerz! excellent post-christmas tale of adventure and derring-do.... or on the lurk maybe i should call it derring-doody!
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 10:25:10 (EST)

so i go through to the backyard of the house next door, the guy has a ladder but it's about two feet too short, but i am determined to get back in my house so i do an amazing catlike leap up onto the wall, success! i then have to make my way onto the roof of my landlord's garage, over on to the other neighbor's shed roof so that i can try and reach the fire escape. it's a bit high but i'm able to reach it and pull it down, now comes the scary part. i climb up the icy fire escape, terrified the entire time that i'm going to fall and impale myself on something down in the backyard, but i make it. then i have to rip the screen off and get the window open. success! i made it. i promptly put my house keys in my pocket, and ran back downstairs and made my snow angel. talk about a merry fucking christmas. heh. in retrospect, i can see the humor - this is SO typical of a jerzy grrrl situation, i have to laugh.
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 10:08:34 (EST)

I didn't see the snapshot, but I'll definitely check it out next time. So jerzy you left out the most important part of the story. How did the snow angel come out? I went out and peed a rough approximation of the Benny mascot in the snow then threw a pile of dog poop in the middle to get the proper balance of the glorious brown and yellow. I recommend all lurkers try the same, it was quite therapuetic.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 09:26:09 (EST)

luckily for me, the guy next door is shoveling his walk. i'm trying to figure out if i should break the window in the front door, but don't know if i could reach the door knob if i did that, when i remember that my kitchen window in the back of the house is unlocked as i had cracked it earlier while cooking my dinner. i ask if he has access to the back yard because i think i might be able to climb up the fire escape. jesus, it's fucking christmas and i'm breaking into my own apartment.
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 09:12:13 (EST)

so last night, around 8pm or so, i decide to go out and make a snow angel in front of my house. i had just showered, so i put on jeans and a hoodie (to cover my wet hair), figuring i'll be out and back too quickly to get cold. i decide to leave my apartment door as well as the two front doors unlocked (i live in an old row house that has been converted into three apartments so there is a little vestibule - you open the front door and there is a second set of double doors that are also kept locked) and the inner door to my building unlocked. as soon as i step out onto the front steps, and pull the front door closed, i realize that i locked the door out of habit anm now i can't get back in. fuck, fuck, fuck.
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 09:08:54 (EST)

so proc did you see the polaroid of boris? put it this way..it was taken well into his bachelor party last december. it involves quinty eyes (from booze & weed), a fez and/or sombrero (both were provided and worn at some point), and the piece de resistance, straight from north london in honor of my hatred for a certain highbury side...yes, boris was sporting a goddam gooner kit. don would've wept.
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 09:07:53 (EST)

you say there's a BJ's where the old alley stood? Maybe I could stop by there first and test the fog machine. When the building clears out I can hand out Benny fliers to everybody in the parking lot. BTW that flier for the gig is damn snappy.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 09:00:43 (EST)

I went to the Decatur last night (this was the non-painful section of the day)and spread the word about the Benny Fest. Some laughed, some cried, some asked me never to speak to them again. There were a few warped souls that expressed interest including the proprietor who informed me that she has put in a fruitless effort to get in touch with a certain diminutive rock star to no avail. I think I convinced her that you were just trying to avoid her calls cuz you think she's a skanky ho. If you wish to dipsel that image or tell her something more insulting I suggest you return her calls. (be warned any placating of her is likely to result in her presence {not presents} at the Benny Fest)
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 08:55:31 (EST)

The last two days passed like a razortoothed kidney stone the size of a ping pong ball. Remind me to plan some painful invasive surgery for the same period of time next year. The X in Xmas will forever more stand for X as in never again.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 08:42:26 (EST)

I was hanging out at the snack counter in Zayre's when some dude hit me with a throwing star. Then he gave me the Benny demo cd. I don't know wich one was more painfull. Holy shit I don't know if a song has ever rocked as hard as "don't fuck up my buzz" I was driving to work today and listening to it while smoking and a snowplow drove by and all that shit came in the window and put my cigarette out. Fuck yeah that rocks!!!!
Chong
USA - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 07:17:47 (EST)

hey, i just wanted to say happy whatever to the lurk - thanks for being here! your pal, jg (from the block)®
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, December 25, 2002 at 18:14:53 (EST)

peace on lurk, good chil to men...
boris
ukrainus, - Wednesday, December 25, 2002 at 17:59:38 (EST)

three french toast two turtlenecks..
some hoser
great white, north - Wednesday, December 25, 2002 at 17:58:10 (EST)

MJ®, if you call that singing, then i don't know what to tell you. please feel free to share my vocal stylings with the lurk. i'm sure SOME PEOPLE will have VOLUMES to say about it...
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, December 25, 2002 at 14:12:41 (EST)

Oh I see, our resident SINGER got her very own domain name. Looks like somebody's head's gonna be too big to fit thru the lurk...
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, December 25, 2002 at 13:58:46 (EST)

for crissmass thsi year, i got my very own domain name.
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, December 25, 2002 at 13:07:42 (EST)

For christmaz this year I got my period.
Chil <bodily@function.com>
USA - Wednesday, December 25, 2002 at 12:59:57 (EST)

MY quads are burning!
Sant T. Claus
USA - Wednesday, December 25, 2002 at 11:08:35 (EST)

Ho, ho, ho - where are you, my precious?!
Proctor's Golem <lookinferlove@inallthewrongplaces.com>
USA - Wednesday, December 25, 2002 at 08:40:38 (EST)

no i don't think "Yellow Riot" is a fitting tribute/cover and you'd better not you fookin' wankers.
Joe's Ghost
Heaven/Hell, - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 23:47:50 (EST)

not PRESENTS!
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 20:48:04 (EST)

where the fuck IS everyone?!!? in case you COULDN'T tell, i'm GRACING you with my presence! sheesh!
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 20:46:37 (EST)

BAWDY?!!? WHO is BAWDY?!!?!?!?????
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 19:27:12 (EST)

this weekend, instead of bombing a country back into the 4th century (from where it is now, in the 6th), i have decided to instead take laura and the girls bowling. i was wondering if anyone knew of any bowling alleys that have some nice background music. the size of the balls doesn't matter, as my wife and i are accomplished bowlers and the girls both have had experience with all sorts of balls. thanks in advance!
a small bush
washington, dc - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 15:10:53 (EST)

by the way, be sure to give "props" tomorrow to the greatest swindle ever levied on human kind, suckers! keep killin'!
Jesus H. Christ on a Crutch <frankincense@myrrh.com>
Heaven, n/a n/a - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 14:48:48 (EST)

yellow's got to be in front...die yellow dye pot! die die die!!! confer on-line on Boxer Day
Willy's last stand
USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 14:31:18 (EST)

YEAH! I SAID LONLINESS! Like LONI ANDERSON- OKAY??!!!!!!!!!!!
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 14:26:07 (EST)

Feel the lonliness of pain as I exit lurk left to go sew some fucking headband back together...
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 14:25:30 (EST)

it's a lonely lonely lurk on a christmas eve i tell ya...i feel like that plywood that occasionally writes in
will he
USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 14:21:42 (EST)

you know what's funny is that Willy "don't look too bad in a headband"...repeat, "don't look too bad in a headband"...
the fucking headband
USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 14:13:36 (EST)

Oh don't worry, the headband is coming out just fine. fine indeed.
Phone Bitch
USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 14:09:05 (EST)

Willy that 10-4 over...roll gear down boulevard take left then right...snow may be mitigating factor...
Roger
USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 14:08:37 (EST)

nubbins's nubbins...anyway, brown dye pot yellow dye pot...brown dye pot yellow dye pot...die brown dye pot die!
whimsical willy
USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 14:06:33 (EST)

Set time approx 10pm. The Triage will set up at the Rock n Roll Control Center pre gig. Will confirm via private security clearance email to confirm
BSEC
USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 14:05:14 (EST)

NUBBINS I tell you!
Edith
USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 14:03:02 (EST)

Sir Proctor, the proper venue is actually at SEBASTION's on Chase's Lane off West Main Road in Middleblob (beheind-to quote Rodney Dangerfield-where the old Ames USED to be...) Also known as Halls of Balls
Benny Sizzler Event Coordinator
USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 14:02:28 (EST)

Why Aquidneck Lanes ain't been around since the goldrush. If'n you go that locale you will find yerself smackdab in the middle of the tire section at BJ's ...or is in the middle of a BJ at Tires...
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 13:59:57 (EST)

that gay Canadian dude posted some funny sh!t but hey merry crismas to all yon lurkers...may god save Benny Sizzler
Twilly
USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 13:56:34 (EST)

yo MJ this is said rendezvous for THE ALLEY CAT MASACREE- Aquidneck Lanes & Wow Play Center 173 East Main Rd., Middletown - (401)846-2729... correct? I just banged out a pile of copies of the mapquest directorials and just want to know if we'll be fogging in the right locale. Ha! there throwing us outa the building early. Later alley cats, I'm out~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Happy (fill in non-offensive holiday term)
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 13:53:42 (EST)

no wonder the dogs teeth are ground down to nubbins...it's become clear...
Swilly
USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 13:52:45 (EST)

Proc, how late they keeping your hairy ass at w@#k today?
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 13:48:24 (EST)

Thar she blows!!
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 13:47:27 (EST)

entertins=FUCK YOU
Spallcheck
USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 13:41:56 (EST)

Quick, make fun of Jerzy while she entertins the 400 crotch droppings!
Gail Winds
USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 13:41:27 (EST)

Here's a gift from the lurks favorite gay Canadian
From Dave tha Fag
Saskathatoonie, CA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 13:38:13 (EST)

jerzy being bawdy!!!? What's this lurk coming to?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 13:29:39 (EST)

speaking of caftan flows, Ho #1 & #3 are right here. Did I get the deluxe plan this time or is it the usual 3:00 check out time?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 13:27:11 (EST)

SOMEBODY on this lurk has quite an impressive SINGING debut that they might want to share with the rest of the lurkers. The quality is quite professional but I think you will agree that the lyrics are somewhat bawdy. Who knew that one of us was actually a talented performer? well besides proctor and his Caftan Flow, of course...
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 13:23:51 (EST)

i'm right here
Ho No. 2
USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 13:15:19 (EST)

yo yo yo where my three ho's at?
Santa
N Pole, - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 13:09:26 (EST)

If there's all this cat killin going on under the bulkhead it occurs to me we have a theme for the Benny Fest-- THE ALLEY CAT MASACREE!! Fingernails on a chalkboard are Brahms compared to the tortured sounds to be heard in the alley this week! (insert favorite sinister laugh) of course Alley Cat, Hokey-Pokey, and Electric Slide lessons will preceed the masacree.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 13:07:59 (EST)

I JUST can't operate under these kinds of conditions! did you SEE the color of that toilet paper? It's deplorable I tell you!
Captain Sewandsew
USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 12:52:29 (EST)

hmmm...cat skewer...anyway, when a Benny songs ends mercifully, Mrs. White says to herself she says, "what was THAT?"
Willy
USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 12:47:24 (EST)

Is that related to this cat story?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 12:39:34 (EST)

what's the deal with the bulkhead cat killin'?
Willy at Large
USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 12:30:09 (EST)

You'll mind that Gail Warning if you know what side of the cod to salt down.
a salty dog that knows
USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 11:16:44 (EST)

oh, dear, darling MJ®! just give a listen to that thing i sent you, it'll wake you right up...as you fall over from laughter. yeah.
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 10:58:48 (EST)

What the fuck. I just woke up. I don't have the energy for you lot runnin' your gobs. Too fucking funny about the stones contest. Yeah, I can see Florida and PR, but Little Rhody?! WTF?
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 10:42:35 (EST)

I don't know how to explain this link, but I'll warn you it seems to have an addictive quality. So far I've just played with other peoples thing-a-ma-bobs and that seems to be the quickest way to get the idea. Hit the sodazoo, pick one of the critters, and do the point grab bit... mess around with the 3 little meters they give you too (gravity, friction, and springiness)
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 10:41:24 (EST)

Have a Merry Krishna and a Hari New Year y'all.
a guy in an orange caftan doing the deadhead twirly twirly, but far too hairy to be a real krishna freak
USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 10:01:26 (EST)

Helly Hollydays Benny Sizzler...
Kat <Katsikes@yahoo.com>
wormtown, USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 09:56:27 (EST)

Just checked the national Weather service, there's a GAIL Warning in affect for tomorrow so those in the vicinity should prepare accordingly.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 09:51:52 (EST)

AND Pooh's got more seductive lips than Jagger too!!!!!
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 09:36:53 (EST)

Well here's a fine how do you do. The Stones are doing a free concert that you can register for the ticket drawing online. HOWEVER, RI residents ain't allowed in on the fun. WTF!!! I understand cutting out Florida and Puerto Rico, but how did we end up in the UNCLEAN category? Richards vacations here!!! The Stones got busted here!! I posted the link and I'm currently contriving a way to show my displeasure by some random pointless terrorist act that will make Altamont look like... like.... well like something. GOT IT!!
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 09:34:52 (EST)

jerzy you better make your appointment at Poooh's spa right now before those kids render you incapable of doing anything but twitching and drooling uncontrollably.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 09:26:18 (EST)

oooh, weird space time continuum shift there. i don't know WHAT happened there. ANYWAY...OMG, Pooh is a DREAM doggie!!!!
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 09:07:13 (EST)

exposing children to proctor and the lurk in general is probably child abuse jerz. hope you got a good night's sleep and are packin' advil.
boris
ukrainus, - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 09:05:52 (EST)

i know - and i arranged the whole thing. i'm scared. really scared. we have two santas, sponge bob square pants, spiderman, a video arcade, a snowboard simulator, temporary tattoo artists, karaoke area (they can take home the video tapes of themselves performing), basketball, foozeball, mcdonalds...jesus. what have i done?!
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 09:03:21 (EST)

Now THAT'S a face
Pooh's Day At The Spa
USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 08:50:01 (EST)

Four hundred? I have visions of a Liliputian uprising in jerzy's future.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 08:39:26 (EST)

i have 400 little kids coming into the office today for a holiday party. and no, i'm not talking about the traders.
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 07:18:51 (EST)

i just did a ver' ver' brave thing. yes indeedie.
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 21:44:12 (EST)

You'll have to pardon me I've just been wrecked by the fucking awful sounds that eminated from the last Benny bulkhead practice. I aint heard a racket like that since I had a tuneless, rhythmless, overtried and meterless, busy for the sake of being busy hollowpoint rummaging 'round my vacuous skull. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
Drugsy
Bulk(head) Eraser, USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 21:01:02 (EST)

what time
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 21:00:59 (EST)

Boris, Boris, Boris...
Auntie Road Sausage
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 20:08:14 (EST)

and merry christmas to auntie gail, may her hallm*rk strap-on have plenty of batteries?
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 19:45:57 (EST)

Merry Christmas, Dave. May your sausage be smoked and your Yule log chunky.
Auntie Gail
Hairy Pole, Up North - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 19:04:18 (EST)

hey all merry commercialized holiday to one and all, i am out for the year. gonna get fat on cheese and crackers and buzzed on home made wine. luv y'all p.s. gail, i was gonna send you a card but you know.......i didnt cuz well, i suck but i wish the best to you this season
d.t.f. <faggot@rot.com>
cock, smoker canada - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 18:59:16 (EST)

FUCKyeah

boris
ukrainus, - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 18:59:12 (EST)

i'm off to terrorize the community at large. I'm out[[[{{{((()))}}}]]]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 17:03:54 (EST)

I've been grooving to my fave xmas classics all day. Vince guaraldi is putting the finishing touches on Greensleeves right now, but I GOTTA recommend the best one I have. It's called Jingle Bell Jam: Jazz Christmas Classics on rhino records. It's got the Duke, ella, Booker T & the MG's, Louis Jordan, Carmen Mcrae and on and on. The best cuts are these freak bands you never heard of like Inner Voices doing this accapella tune Boogie Woogie Santas Claus. Oh it has Lou Rawls version of Have yourself A Merry Little Christmas that is just TOOOOOO HIP!!
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 17:02:00 (EST)

I'll do my best to make the bowling alley live up to the name alley. If it takes dancing to raise a proper stench I'm definitely the man for the job. Are we gonna do some bowling for benny novelty soaps as a kick off for the evenings festivities?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 16:26:24 (EST)

No matter where, when, or how it (proctor) dances i have to assume it's always a pit.
Drugsy
Stink Pit, USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 16:16:42 (EST)

You can never hear your light weight drumming anyway. I was talking about the roar of the bowling alley! Ya have the rumble of them balls and the crashing of them pins..... and that's just the noise from the ladies room.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 16:15:04 (EST)

I think I found the ideal xmas gift for jerzy.... I was torn myself between the WWJD skivvies and the Christian Crack Whore goodies.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 16:10:22 (EST)

loud? who said anything about LOUD? i maybe bring my tim toms for the Ballad of Mean Jo...
tWilly
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 16:05:57 (EST)

willy we've obviously been slacking in the porno department. It's down right embarassing I tell ya
spanking the pony
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 15:50:31 (EST)

Extended foreast for Saturday-- Foggy, very frikkin foggy. AND LOUD, VERY FRIKKIN LOUD!
The Benny Sizzler Weather Chap
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 15:47:42 (EST)

4 outta 12 MFers...who knows his pony vs. his pussy, huh?
3fW
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 15:46:58 (EST)

so that's how I ended up coming home nekkid, but that still doesn't explain the lipstick I was wearing and the painful hemorhoid-like pain in my anal nether region.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 15:24:47 (EST)

NOW you can consider the lurk tainted! HEEEHEE!
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 15:21:24 (EST)

Found: One caftan covered in footprints after last night's Christmas party
Lorraine's Management <cocaine@dinosaur.com>
Under the Dridge, USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 15:20:41 (EST)

Oh, that's the video she had the nipple tweaker for. It was too warm so her nipples weren't sticking out enough through her shirt. This guy was paid to tweak her nipples in between shots for the video. Some guys get all the cushy gigs. As to ass kissing, I feel like I'm doing that w**king for the man anyway wouldn't mind at all if the behind I was kissing looked more like that. I'd do much fouler things to her given half a chance myself of course, but I'll leave the details to jerzy's imagination.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 15:19:11 (EST)

I feel pretty good about this marriage really working.
Ben Affleck
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 15:18:46 (EST)

i KNOW. i was avoiding saying it too. the lurk seem so, so, dirty now. tainted even. jeez MJ®, what were you thinking?!
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 15:15:18 (EST)

No shit, Benny really does wish all you lurkers a good Christmas.

USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 15:07:12 (EST)

thank you, latina expert MJ. even boris had the decency to not actually mention her name.
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 15:04:10 (EST)

HAHAHA re: the "Caftan Flow". Veggie chili out tha nose on that one. BTW 6 days and counting to the only band you need to see this year...shirts being dyed as we speak.
MJ®
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 15:01:52 (EST)

for = from
SPALLCHECK
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 14:59:02 (EST)

And Jerzy is "Jerzy for the block" Get it? She used to pogo and now she trades. Get it?
MJ®
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 14:58:40 (EST)

How out of touch can all you lurkers be?!! FUCK! JLo is "Jenny from the Block"! See? She "used to have a little and now she has a lot" See? GODAMN do I have to drag that gumdrop Carson Daley on hear to beat some hip into you lot? And yes, there is an ass kissing scene. Literally. An ASS kiss. So not right.
MJ®
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 14:56:47 (EST)

Yo P.I.M.P...check ye royal mail!
Fid
Hell, RI USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 14:56:32 (EST)

i heard in the video that BA actually kisses her ASS. PUKE.
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 14:51:03 (EST)

you feeling fucky, lucker?
dyslexic shit starter
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 14:49:36 (EST)

What is this unfortunate song y'all are speaking of? Which reminds me, spiky Miky from the Sleazies is in possesion of one of the holy graails of xmas music. It's Canned Heat and The Chipmunks together doing a xmas boogie. It kicks ass... no really.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 14:49:14 (EST)

I've been known to do the caftan flow at a dead show or twenty, but I kick harder than any of em in the pit, and I funk and rave with the best of em. Last night wasn't one of the more demanding pits I've been in. It was me and three women, but any excuse for frottage is a good excuse.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 14:44:19 (EST)

unfortunately i've heard it jerz. lucky fuckin me.
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 14:39:09 (EST)

oh, and boris, i've never actually heard the song, just heard OF it. it sounds pretty awful.....
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 14:33:55 (EST)

for some reason proctor, i picture your dancing to look something like those old geisers at a dead show. limbs flailing wildly, your caftan flowing like the ocean.....
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 14:31:03 (EST)

I started a pit during a xmas song at Lorraines last night. THAT'S how punk I am!
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 14:26:52 (EST)

hey MJ®, i think i'm ready to send you my recording debut...er...maybe. and that OTHER band, well, i heard there was ANOTHER band from the RI area....i will be at that show for sure. see? SEE?!!?
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 14:25:28 (EST)

I only got 2. And thats cause I already have "Lethal Squirt"
Don
Impossifuckinble, USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 14:23:32 (EST)

like i said last week, i may work on wall street, but i'm still punk rock - yeah, you heard me, i'm jerzy from the block.
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 14:21:17 (EST)

I only got 3 out of 12 on the quiz. I guess I'm gonna have to stop at Airborne Express on the way home and pick up a few flicks so I can BONE UP on the porn names
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 14:14:49 (EST)

HAAHAA!! I had shepherd's pie come out my nose when I read the "My Little Pony Part III" post. And do I ever have a link to go with that. It's a quiz where you have to determine whether a name is a porno star's name or a my little pony's name... I guess I really should start paying attention to the credits on the porno channel.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 14:10:12 (EST)

"Johnston's burning with boredom now. Johnston's burning now...."
Queen Mum
- Monday, December 23, 2002 at 14:06:29 (EST)

Punx not dead. Well okay maybe.
Don
The Valley, USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 13:47:41 (EST)

I can't wait for "My Little Pony part III " next winter!
Drugsy
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 13:36:39 (EST)

my wife had on "her station" yesterday and we distinctly heard hip-hop lyrics that inspired 'jerzy from the block'. i think. does block rhyme with got jerz or are we way off?
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 13:35:56 (EST)

so jerzy are you "from the block" as in you're hep somehow or are you just turning tricks on the street and using the lurk to advertise?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 13:32:43 (EST)

OOOOH!! The nasty bennyses hurtses Smogol's ears! Make them stop! Smogol will be good, we promises.
Smogol
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 12:51:35 (EST)

The murk will be thick enough for you to have plausible deniability that you were there at all.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 12:48:05 (EST)

STATUS of SMOG MACHINE for 12/28?
3fW
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 12:43:14 (EST)

my teeth were WAY more fucked up than sid's.
The Late Joe
King's Cross, - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 12:42:44 (EST)

the maggies at the continental...should be grueling...
3fW
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 12:42:30 (EST)

So the Mojohags are taking Manhattan. I got a few strings of beads I'll trade you for it.
injun scammer joe
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 12:39:35 (EST)

my lawyer will be contacting you about refering to my name in association with these despicable rock'n'roll outfits... benny or OTHER
Henny Youngman
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 12:32:47 (EST)

oh there's ANOTHER one you hairy gollum-like beast...just no benny...no henny either for that matter...
Willy
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 12:15:10 (EST)

Nasty hobbitses hurts poor smeagol.
smeagol
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 12:13:27 (EST)

See you in Middleblob my precioussssssssssssssssssSSSSS...
Smeagol
The Swamp, - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 12:00:24 (EST)

there is no OTHER band, she's just pissed she's gonna miss THE band doing the seven-ten-split... HEY!! there's a band name Seven Ten Split. It has all kinds of entendre crap going on there.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 11:39:44 (EST)

Gollum deserves an Oscar. Emilio de Crappio deserves to die a slow painful death brought on by being forced to watch gilfish grape over and over and over and over.... (yes I'm quite aware how cruel that would be)
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 11:36:39 (EST)

Jerzy, who the fuck is this OTHER band you refer to...?
MJ®
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 11:22:18 (EST)

Proctor ROTS!
Little Timmy
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 11:21:43 (EST)

How about Idiot Magnet for the band name?
another so and so
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 11:15:54 (EST)

I dig that one. When I'm not flippin' burgers.
Dave Williams
Kamloops, - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 11:04:03 (EST)

i wish to inform you that "The Gumps" is the name of boris' hockey league -- you know, the one that Chil was afraid to join. please refrain from using this name, da. i mean please.
boris' lawyer
ukrainus, - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 10:57:58 (EST)

Original Sicks - That's a good friggin name. Tiger Williams would dig that one.
Don
Sherwood, USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 10:57:04 (EST)

And then there's - The Gumps, or Flapjacks in the Crease
Jack Flagg <gump worsley@netminder.com>
Moosejaw, Canabeer - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 10:40:16 (EST)

here's one for the quote of the month... "Yes, I've got monkeys in my pants." ...(I prefer gerbils that are hopped up on meth and coated with Vick's Vapo Rub)
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 10:35:24 (EST)

more band names (inspiration in parentheses)...
TV Potty (inspired by Sluggo's favorite hobbies)
The Leg Whips (inspired by Sluggo's favorite defensive move)
Original Sicks (inspired by Sluggo in general, though I'd be shocked if someone didn't have this already, da)
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 10:27:05 (EST)

I think I found a vibe player to sit in on the Benny gig
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 10:10:35 (EST)

I feel the need to fog profusely.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 10:08:04 (EST)

this w**k shit is strictly for the meat by products. time to seek out an independently wealthy gig
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 09:39:30 (EST)

word on the street is that some OTHER band is going to be playing the apple come january. hmmm....
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 08:57:48 (EST)

suspected heart attack per the London Financial Times. man. i'm sad.
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 08:41:41 (EST)

Newsflash: (now you really know I'm back) Joe Strummer kicked off at age 50. No word yet on cause of death. What d'ya figger? some sort of boil lancing gone awry?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 08:34:17 (EST)

Bring it on big boy
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 08:31:42 (EST)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Protor is back and ready for some more lurkabuse from a real man!!!!!!
MJ® <haveno@mercy.com>
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 08:21:26 (EST)

what the hell am I doing here?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 08:14:21 (EST)

Yo, I can't get the link to work to the sizzler email.... I want a CD so bad it makes me wet... if you want to email me with your email address I can send you my address, I was going to post it here but that scares me (: I love karate
Kat <katsikes@yahoo.com>
wormtown, USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 08:11:31 (EST)

howabout: chumpnuts,skunknutz,cany caine and the stripers,the adventure crew, falling in ditches, billy bongo and the skunknutz.
dude
USA - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 07:07:14 (EST)

happy solstice myth mongers
Don
Earth, - Sunday, December 22, 2002 at 23:14:55 (EST)

Howzabout - The Poppin' A Boners.
Dave B.
Cumberland, RI USA - Sunday, December 22, 2002 at 17:07:35 (EST)

I love the name 'pink slips'... another name which was handed to me was 'Falling Stars', and 'The Lavinges'... Im soo glad that the legal age in alberta, is 18.. cause my b-day was 2 days ago.. FUCKEN EH! the canadian, chris!
-chris- <planetary_priss@hotmail.com>
calg, AB CAN - Sunday, December 22, 2002 at 17:02:02 (EST)

by the way, the ONE WEEK countdown is ON...and counting...
Will E.
USA - Sunday, December 22, 2002 at 14:05:18 (EST)

hey! I've got a good name, how 'bout BLOW ME?
Willy, Three Fingered
USA - Sunday, December 22, 2002 at 13:57:33 (EST)

Chris, you have one chick in the band and the rest dudes? The chick is the singer? How about "Job Security" or "Pink Slip" I'm serious.
PR Genius
USA - Sunday, December 22, 2002 at 12:34:30 (EST)

Not bad, Chong and Boris. But I still think you have to go a long way to beat "Foot Long" and "Road Sausage" as killer band names
MJ® <mytwocents@bandnamecontest.com>
USA - Sunday, December 22, 2002 at 12:31:41 (EST)

the two best band names are as follows: 1. cable in the bedroom. 2. enter the fridge.
Chong Lee <chonglee@bruceleeisnotgay.com>
USA - Sunday, December 22, 2002 at 07:18:27 (EST)

holy sh!t i'm late for benny sizzler jams!
3fW
USA - Saturday, December 21, 2002 at 14:05:30 (EST)

Wholey Shit! That's my boy! With the ribbon on his head. I'm so proud of him. My usless genes will never die!
Drugsy
USA - Saturday, December 21, 2002 at 11:30:41 (EST)

band name-wise i've always like 'The Ron Jeremy Orchestra'
boris
ukrainus, - Saturday, December 21, 2002 at 09:26:52 (EST)

not mine just link magic courtesy somebody else. boris is no more than a script kiddie da...though the resemblance to a certain prime minister is frightening esp on the electronica stylee, which we all know he adores...
boris
ukrainus, - Saturday, December 21, 2002 at 09:24:25 (EST)

wow boris! how'd you get proctor to do all of those dances?! did you bribe him with lapdances??? bravo, pal!
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Saturday, December 21, 2002 at 07:40:12 (EST)

"Latent Disregard" is one of the best band names ever. That and "Opening Axe". Good. Very good.
Opinionated Lurker
USA - Saturday, December 21, 2002 at 01:27:40 (EST)

Will put what came out of you on a holiday card. Impress coworkers, distant relatives, friends you never see anymore and the rest
Crotch Dropping Xmas Cards, Inc.
USA - Saturday, December 21, 2002 at 00:43:15 (EST)

Check us out!
Crotch Droppings Christmas Cards, Inc.
USA - Saturday, December 21, 2002 at 00:41:00 (EST)

Hey wait a minute...That's DAMN PROPAGANDA you be pollutin' this site with you Ukranian you. Fuck me. I'm a sittin' here on my stool just a memerized by Santa's man binge victory dance and the next think you know I'm buying some damn strap-on Hallmark holiday dildo
BSTC
USA - Friday, December 20, 2002 at 21:22:45 (EST)

I'm marveling at my comrades pure genius. Pure genius.
BSTC
USA - Friday, December 20, 2002 at 20:21:40 (EST)

fuckme it worked. sorry. guess i should pinch again soon eh BSTC?
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, December 20, 2002 at 19:56:02 (EST)

only east providence would still be celebrating a high school game a week later. fuckin' mayberry. spout when your team beats mount st charles in a REAL sport, da. until then....let's see if this even works..

boris
ukrainus, - Friday, December 20, 2002 at 19:38:09 (EST)

More band names for the contest: The Schmuckos Double Aught Double A (or "eh") My Bad The Ebolas Latent Disregard The Headliners Opening AXE The How Bouts Slash's Snake Pit
Schmucko
USA - Friday, December 20, 2002 at 18:53:32 (EST)

i think the new guy should be called smegma. yeah. i said it: SMEGMA!
jerzy from the block®
jc, nj USA - Friday, December 20, 2002 at 18:13:58 (EST)

Y'all ROT! Just had to say it. After all you had a perfectly good opportunity to knock me all week and you blew it. I'll be back with the fire and brimstone for you light weights on Monday.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 20, 2002 at 17:32:37 (EST)

I see you light weights just can't keep a proper lurk going without me. First I'd like to point out once again that the TOWNIES are the RI SuperBowl Champeeens!!! Second I'm wearing some christmas designer crotchless culottes with a mistltoe belt buckle and assorted sleigh bells tied to my ball hair and a few hanging from my dingleberries. most stimulating when you get a good breeze or have a sneezing fit. On the bagel debate I thought that egg wash was de riguer to make a proper bagel. I have the fog machine ready to go for the gig, but I still want reassurances that a safe house has been prepared for when I set off the smoke alarms. I actually had a dream last night that I was in a bowling alley. I'll let you wonder about the details for a while. That should give jerzy nightmares. I also have found a book which every lurker should have, but I'll save that for a later lurk too.... Let's just say I'm off to look for a shotclog and I'll leave it at that.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 20, 2002 at 17:28:44 (EST)

I always wanted to be in a band named "un-ZIP" No shit. But I will try to think of some other ones for you, my Canadian comrade.
Idea Man
USA - Friday, December 20, 2002 at 16:57:47 (EST)

hey everyone, i need you all to do me a huge assed favor, ready.. ok here goes: Me and my friend have come up with a band of 4 people, 3 guys (on instruments) and one chick(vocals).. we all have the stage image of robin black kinda style (lotsa pretty make-up and shit)... thing is WE DONT HAVE A NAME!! and when it comes to thinking of one, we all get brain-farts (just like when like when britney spears is being interviewed)... so yeah help me out by comin up with some rockin names... love yah lots!
-CHRIS- <planetary_priss@hotmail.com>
calgary, AB CAN - Friday, December 20, 2002 at 15:34:27 (EST)

Click here for an example!
Crotch Dropping Christmas Cards, Inc. <bah@humbug.com>
Your Pole, USA - Friday, December 20, 2002 at 15:19:59 (EST)

that's "GA-NEW"
W
USA - Friday, December 20, 2002 at 14:31:35 (EST)

the new guy should be Gary...Gary Gnu
3fW
USA - Friday, December 20, 2002 at 14:31:09 (EST)

i'm back and i ain't gittin' stepped on no mo' no mo'
the prodical plywood
USA - Friday, December 20, 2002 at 14:30:02 (EST)

when approached at the mailboxes, Mrs. White will nervously look straight ahead, ignore you, and fast walk back to the safety of 310 apartment B
a commentator
USA - Friday, December 20, 2002 at 14:28:00 (EST)

You supply the darlin' picture and we'll put your droppins on a card! This season show all your aquaintences what you made!
Crotch Dropping Christmas Cards Inc. <cynical@barrenmaiden.com>
East Pole, USA - Friday, December 20, 2002 at 14:26:43 (EST)

i AM a machine...a sex machine...that...smokes after sex...and...well yeah
Bobbo
USA - Friday, December 20, 2002 at 13:52:43 (EST)

Proctor is on his annual 3 day man binge until the22nd. Duh. And sure Bobbo smokes alot, but I wouldn't call him a machine.
Drugsy
USA - Friday, December 20, 2002 at 13:16:32 (EST)

and what's the status on the smoke machine?
Twiggy
USA - Friday, December 20, 2002 at 13:13:17 (EST)

where's the grizzly large hairy one?
Willy
USA - Friday, December 20, 2002 at 13:12:02 (EST)

Jerry curl neglect
Super Freak
O town, USA - Friday, December 20, 2002 at 13:05:48 (EST)

If a man takes a "dump" what does a woman doo?
Gloria Steinhem
USA - Friday, December 20, 2002 at 12:59:42 (EST)

Where da fuck is Jerzy today? Did she get laughed off the trading floor for wearing the orange sweater vest?
MJ® <shit@starter.com>
USA - Friday, December 20, 2002 at 12:49:52 (EST)

Fer schizzle it has to be for the afro on a white guy
Cuntestant (a DIFFERENT one)
USA - Friday, December 20, 2002 at 12:20:12 (EST)

Stabbing Nancy?
Cuntestant
USA - Friday, December 20, 2002 at 12:18:59 (EST)

final jeopardy, what was the infraction Mr. Viscious with the hair got nabbed on to lead to that famous foto? ANSWER ME!
Alex Trebeck
USA - Friday, December 20, 2002 at 11:48:24 (EST)

I've been to Woodhookers, Woodhookers doesn't rock, it's like being in a room full of rocks.
Bung H. Ole
USA - Friday, December 20, 2002 at 11:37:25 (EST)

my name is not INHERENTLY gay
Gary
USA - Friday, December 20, 2002 at 11:35:13 (EST)

how about "Teriq" for the new guy? or "Herbert"?

lurkives 12/11/02 - 1/2/03 This lurkive brought to you by

lurkives 12/11/02 - 1/2/03
This lurkive brought to you by