lurkive 20 nov - 11 dec 2002

this lurkive brought to you by

Where tha fuck is Willy?
MJ¨
USA - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 15:52:11 (EST)

Boris, did you tell me somethin' about me pinchin' this here log soon? Is it gettin' kinda curly?
MJ¨
USA - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 15:49:40 (EST)

Listen, Mopsy. FUNBAGS! Look at 'em. They're HUGE!
MJ¨
USA - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 15:45:08 (EST)

Sheesh, these rock stars can be awful touchy
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 15:39:27 (EST)

WHy don't you all get below me and blow me. Anyway, yeah, presents. Hahahaha. My big ole funbags for you all to ogle are presents enough for you. Boris. Da. Guestbook.pl. I'm meating it today and will be late into the night. Will try your most kickass solutions late. Thanks, da.
MJ¨
USA - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 15:19:48 (EST)

Hey MJ what gives? Where be the presents?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 14:52:25 (EST)

guestbook.pl is the only one you need to re-upload there, BSTC. then m-bloob be oh-so-happy da...
boris
ukrainus, - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 14:24:50 (EST)

You've got presents for us!! GOODY!
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 14:12:55 (EST)

I have a minute to grace the lurk with my presents. I have on good account that Chil's balls are manly, if good n' loose.
MJ¨
USA - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 14:06:30 (EST)

I think chil has a dangling participle
balls as verb and adjective
USA - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 13:59:21 (EST)

I thought it was two hairy balls when spalled with two L's and one hairy ball when spalled with one L.
Prof. Turd Wordsly's Wise Ass T.A.
USA - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 13:47:18 (EST)

In latin the root of "chil" is synonymous with two hairy balls.
Prof. Turd Wordsly
URI, USA - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 13:42:24 (EST)

for the lurker that has everything...
Got Your Reindeer In A Vial?
USA - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 13:01:24 (EST)

gimme back my bullets
Yumpin Yemeni
USA - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 12:54:30 (EST)

I might have been conservative on the Lott debacle. Even a lot of repukes are saying he should bag the majority post. Ya gotta love when one of slime klan gets bitten in the ass by his own words
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 12:38:14 (EST)

sans as in without, I believe chile don't do the carne, see?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 12:33:07 (EST)

oh wait. sans. it would be avec, not sans if that is what you were doing. oui?
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 12:31:59 (EST)

BTW that Camilo/El Negro link has a couple of solo samples.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 12:31:53 (EST)

are you calling MJ¨ carne?! damn kid - you got a deathWISH!
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 12:31:20 (EST)

I believe that would be chile sans carne.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 12:29:42 (EST)

i did a websearch for "czech names" and was given a link to the following "joke": When his eyes began to give him trouble, a man went to a ophthalmologist in Prague. The doctor showed the patient the eye chart, displaying the letters 'CVKPNWXSCZ'. "Can you read that?" the doctor asked. "Can I read it?" the Czech replied. "I dated his sister!"
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 12:28:37 (EST)

Camilo's big band has a percussionist that'll blow you away, Giovanni Hidalgo. Poking around for some of his stuff I found out him and El Negro have done an album together that I didn't know about. check out the linky to drum world site
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 12:26:23 (EST)

it would be chile, see? like chile from TLC. heh. you callin' chil femmy? damn, kid, you just axin' fer trouble.
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 12:17:55 (EST)

what is the feminine of chil? is it 'jose'?
boris
ukrainus, - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 12:15:23 (EST)

but according to the baby name list i just looked up, it is the feminine of michael. hmmmmm. but that would be michelle or michele - you add an "e" on the end for the fem.
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 12:05:10 (EST)

yes. i worked with a czech chef named michel (pronounced meeshell - sort of french sounding). i like the name marek too.
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 12:03:01 (EST)

Marvel has brought back an old character, but with a new twist. He's out of the closet and after the Lone Ranger. I quote... "I think that mask and the powder blue outfit are fantastic. I can certainly see why the Indian follows him around." ...I ain't kidding either.
The Rawhide Kid Rides Again
USA - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 12:01:24 (EST)

she's dirrty. i hear. does she still do that SNFU cover?
boris
ukrainus, - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 11:55:29 (EST)

Yea, well I saw Christina Aguilara on that show "Driven" on VH1 about a month ago.
Don
USA - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 11:53:53 (EST)

before he was huge camilo also played AS220 long time ago (92?) as duo w/ jazz G player from CT. awesome show.
boris
ukrainus, - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 11:50:02 (EST)

I don't know about czech, but it's aguys name in spanish. I saw Michel Camilo play at Scullers back in June with Anthony Jackson & Horacio "El Negro" Hernandez. Probably the best jazz show I ever saw. "El Negro" kicks the cans like nobody I've ever seen. He has double kicks, but he also had two pedals set to the left, one for a cowbell, one for a tambourine. He played three handed percussion stuff by using the pedals that you wouldn't believe one person was playing if you weren't seeing it.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 11:45:45 (EST)

ascii versus binary directions sent to BSTC. kinda buried today, so y'all lurk safely!! JERZ!! do you know whether "Michel" is definitely a guy's name in Czech? think so but don't wanna guess wrong...THANKS!
boris
ukrainus, - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 11:15:52 (EST)

Should we start a pool on when Lott is going to resign the majority post? I'll take 10AM on Friday.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 11:12:21 (EST)

I'll bring fog, but I'll need a clear escape route, forged documents, and guaranteed passage through the blockade the firemen set up to prevent my escape.
Sir Fogalot
USA - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 10:47:40 (EST)

have gooner fans really ever been able to hold their liquor? our fans behave themselves. it's the bumbury scum, as usual.
T. Totaler
Borough of Islington, - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 10:45:09 (EST)

Paula gets me straight up
muslim erector set
USA - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 10:42:57 (EST)

Is Paula Abdul a Muslim? A hateful Muslim?
Drugsy
USA - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 10:28:51 (EST)

Tottenham Hotspur v Arsenal - NO STREET DRINKING - White Hart Lane - A No Street Drinking Zone has been implemented around White Hart Lane and will be in place for next Sunday's North London derby against Tottenham. Please note that police have the right to confiscate any open container with alcohol inside within this area. Failure to comply with the Officer's directions may result in arrest. [11 December 2002]
Kanu
Hooligan City, N. London - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 10:27:14 (EST)

What you smell is the Middleblob Sewage Treatment Plant bubbling over with excitement. Is Proctor gonna bring his smokey machine? Can you make brown smog?
Don
Compound, USA - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 10:20:27 (EST)

So is the impending Benny fest building tension in the air down in Middleblob or is that smell just the red tide rolling in again?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 09:40:14 (EST)

different guestbook da. bob bloob is SO pissed. any predictions for sunday's derby don?
boris
ukrainus, - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 09:18:27 (EST)

APPARENTLY elton john was in our london office for charity day today...they were giving to his AIDS foundation. word is he was a grand ol' chap - talked to employees, customers, signed CD's... isn't that just BULLY?! you can see who all of our offices are donating to here: http://www.icap.com/charityday.htm
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 09:17:40 (EST)

GADS!! Is our precious lurk in peril from some unseen sword of Damocles.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 09:13:21 (EST)

dear BSTC, are you using dreamweaver / ultradev? middlebloob guestbook sounds fixable, da.
boris
ukrainus, - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 08:58:42 (EST)

I am mopless and proud of it.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 08:41:49 (EST)

Schtupf this, Lace.
Benny Sizzler
USA - Wednesday, December 11, 2002 at 01:39:26 (EST)

I'm hot but I'm kinda lonely. Is Benny sizzler available to schtup me tonight?
Lacey Chambert
Westchester, NY USA - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 23:37:55 (EST)

And you leave my Theodorable alone, you Bruin's lovin loser, DA.
MJ¨
USA - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 21:46:33 (EST)

Anybody wanna see the tattoo of a gerbil in my ass?
MJ¨
USA - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 21:45:24 (EST)

put theodorable back in!!
boris
ukrainus, - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 21:22:46 (EST)

LURK #15,555 I like the ring of that. I am so in good with the boss right now. Shows ya how pitiful the rest of these schmegheads are when I can be a shining star. I'm out((({{{[[[]]]}}})))~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 18:43:42 (EST)

I ain't dissolved and I am SO NOT FIRED. I'm the hero of the day (that's 2 days running now). I'm the only one in the friggin system that has their shit together(HA!!). The woman in charge of the building is ready to fire everybody and start from scratch... that is except ME. I got the gerbils w**king overtime here cranking out barcodes (note to BSTC- ya might want to consider hiring rodents they w**k cheap and eat anything). I will be accepting mucho accolades in the morning.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 18:11:47 (EST)

somebody on this lurk is so fired
Intern Rythym
USA - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 16:47:53 (EST)

i so got the worm
the early bird
USA - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 16:41:13 (EST)

Don't bother looking for your Prime Minister. I have suffocated him despite his dog Smoky's feeble attempts at trying to stop me. You should've heard him gurgle as the life seeped out of him. I dissolved his body in Murphy's Oil Soap.
The Mop
- Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 16:40:49 (EST)

Okay, now who wants to see the tattoo of hair on my ass?
MJ¨
USA - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 16:24:48 (EST)

proc on a serious note if you still see billy belligerent (chris) around the shitty city, his father died thursday....boris went to wake, da...
boris
ukrainus, - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 15:58:35 (EST)

heh. thank you boris.
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 15:10:38 (EST)

that's like asking strom thurmond to go buy you some crack. try here jerz....seems fine...
boris
ukrainus, - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 14:39:34 (EST)

hey proctor. what do you know about online banks? it's FDIC insured: http://www.netbank.com/
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 13:46:59 (EST)

hey mister prime minister, keep that mop handy to remove the bloody townie remains after we open up yet another can of whoop-ass in the division one super bowl. as mister T said: you shoulda NEVER come back.
boris
ukrainus, - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 13:34:28 (EST)

this is one damn fine shrimp fajita I'm eating. How was everybody elses lunch?
a late luncher
USA - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 13:28:47 (EST)

Er...huh?
A Confused Lurker
USA - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 13:25:17 (EST)

curiouser and curiouser, that's all I got to say
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 13:10:52 (EST)

now sit right back and you'll hear a tale...a tale of a fateful trip...
the finger
USA - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 13:06:41 (EST)

I've returned. Hey Chong, blow me.
the prodigal finger
USA - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 13:02:47 (EST)

anything EXCEPT physical attention or sexual favors to proctor, that is. i'll leave that to the pros he's so familiar with.
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 13:00:12 (EST)

oh stop, MJ¨. you're the most beautiferificist bassist in the whole wide world. i'd give anything to be as gorgeous as you.
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 12:55:59 (EST)

Anybody wanna see my tattoo? I got a picture of an old lady on my face.
MJ¨
USA - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 11:45:50 (EST)

or in this case Che is so cheeky
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 11:41:18 (EST)

Che is so chi chi!
Don
Havana Bad Day, USA - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 11:27:48 (EST)

Don't blame me!! It's his toe cheese that's stankin up the joint.
the old pair of sneakers
USA - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 11:26:37 (EST)

I'd like the see the Che likeness, yes.
MJ¨
USA - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 11:20:45 (EST)

I found an old pair of sneakers yesterday and made the mistake of wearing them to work today. Now I cant close the door to my edit bay cause they stink so bad. Turn out the cave was just my basement. But it still smell like crap down there.
Chong Lee
Rumpford, USA - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 10:56:09 (EST)

URL SPALLCHECK- scars
scab picker
USA - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 10:46:17 (EST)

I have series of scars on my ass from the doc lancing my boils that form an amazing likeness of Che Guevara wearing support hose and a purple lace push-up bra. Wanna see?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 10:45:01 (EST)

It's NEAT!
MJ¨
USA - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 10:30:16 (EST)

you soitenly did, MJ¨. you soitenly did.
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 10:27:46 (EST)

I saw Jerzy's tattooo, I saw Jerzy's tattoo!
MJ¨
USA - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 10:25:07 (EST)

I'm constantly amazed at the mortgages people get nowadays. If you have something resembling a pulse and something resembling a job you can probably get some kind of mortgage. The rate you'll pay is another matter though, some of the programs are bordering on criminal if you ask me. I WILL tell you to go damn near anywhere BUT Megabank Co for a mortgage.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 10:24:21 (EST)

I think I'm gonna yak
a former yap
USA - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 10:17:55 (EST)

who'd've thunk it? http://www.praguepost.com/P03/2002/Art/1204/opin2.php
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 10:03:23 (EST)

so if i have REALLY awful credit and no savings, can i get a mortgage?
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 09:58:49 (EST)

tomorrow is Charity Day here. we give all profits for the day to different organizations. millions of dollars. sort of cool, eh? our prague office is giving all theirs to the flood relief.
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 09:57:49 (EST)

I got one thing to say to that rate-lock... ooops, so sorry it appears that we'll have to check that rate again. Let's see how about 8.35% ARM. I got 3 days in the hole left and the screws ain't gonna break me now! If ya want some of what the proctor's cooking you better get in line and don your best asbestos brown and yellow skivvies.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 09:33:29 (EST)

Where da fuck is that Proctor guy. I got three mortgages lined up at 5.75 on line one and he's out in the hall drinkin anti freeze
Super Boss
So fired, A Megabank USA - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 09:13:21 (EST)

Once again the gods have mocked me. Mock me once shame on you, mock me 4,835,623,735,294 times and I get seriously miffed. I said MIFFED d'ya hear me? I think these wise ass omnipototent bastards are due for a come-uppance and this insignificant mortal is just the longpig to dish out what they got coming.
A Miffed Proctor, MIFFED I say!
USA - Tuesday, December 10, 2002 at 08:52:16 (EST)

Jesus, that guys smells worse than wet dog!
Smoky (Proctor's Dog)
USA - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 21:34:48 (EST)

Yeah yeah, sorry charlie this janitor has passed the mop onto the night shift and I'm skeedaddling before something else busts. I'M OUT!!!((({{{[[[]]]}}})))~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 17:19:34 (EST)

Quit yer yappin' and git back to moppin', knave.
MJ¨
USA - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 17:13:07 (EST)

speaking of voices where the frig did everybody go?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 17:08:41 (EST)

Finally got around to taking that personality disorder test it appears I'm considered low in most categories, but I'm a Moderate shining star in the Schizotypal, Histrionic, and Narcissistic categories. Guess we coulda guessed that huh
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 17:07:50 (EST)

Mop detail has faded to a trickle, but there definitely is gonna be more mopping in the morning.... anybody seen Lady Guinearear?
Sir Mopalot
USA - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 16:55:54 (EST)

GRAMCHECK- YOUR glamourASS
Sir Mopalot
USA - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 15:56:41 (EST)

This pedestrian will walk all over glamorous ass.
Sir Mopalot's Boots Are Made For Stomping Glam Asses
USA - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 15:55:14 (EST)

I'm back from my glamourous photo shoot. I'm let down by the pedestrian nature of you mere lurkers
MJ¨
USA - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 15:49:27 (EST)

Greetings Knights of the Oblate Lurk.
Sir Mopalot
USA - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 15:03:51 (EST)

where went the h's in johnny?
the janitor's spallchack assistant
USA - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 14:36:39 (EST)

On the non-venting tip, I'm glad to see yet another of our state's finest products has endorsed this thing we call lurk. Of course besides their fritter mix their jonny cake mix is THE jonny cake mix (accept no substitutes)
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 14:28:42 (EST)

I never got around to saying this morning that once again my Vikes were robbed by lousy sanafrasan rasafrasan refs. Like it ain't tough enuf being a Vikes fan, they have refs handing the game to Favre (like he needs help!). On top of the injustice of it all I'm in the office football pool and I would have won outright if the refs hadn't screwed up. Now I'm one of five vying for the cake. If the total score is 43 I split the pot and if the score is between 44-49 I win the whole kitty. I expect all lurkers to pray to their fave diety that I win, cuz I'm gonna go ref hunting if I get screwed out of my pot.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 14:19:05 (EST)

Those liverpool brats ripped off my moptop hairstyle and made a fortune. Do ya think I'm bitter about it? YOU BET YER FRIGGIN YELLOW SUBMARINE I'M BITTER!!
DJ Moptop
USA - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 13:38:17 (EST)

Friday night lets all party down to the cool sounds of DJ Moppy. He just drapes hisself over the floor then wrings hisself out. Haven't seen anything as phat as that since I lost my favorite piece of linoleum.
Last of the White M's
USA - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 13:24:56 (EST)

SHEESH.... er, I mean ARGH!!!
the janitor's spallchack pirate assistant
USA - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 12:50:17 (EST)

The rolling file system runs on tracks and the floor was built up to the level of the tracks so a large portion of the water ran into the space between the two floor levels and is now seeping out at a rate just quick enuf that you can't really walk away from it for more than a minute. It's migrating through the walls too so it's coming out in the hallway outside the vault in a couple of places too. AND let me dispell the rumor that I had intended to set of the sprinklers on Halloween and that this "incident" might somehow be conected to some alleged frustration of mine for not having set off the sprinklers on an alleged previous attempt.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 12:48:55 (EST)

er...yeah? okay, okay, SWABBING, dammit. SHEESH!!!
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 12:42:59 (EST)

swabing?
the janitor's spallchack assistant
USA - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 12:35:04 (EST)

argh! keep on swabing the decks there, matey!
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 12:31:28 (EST)

i feel neglected
a spot
USA - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 12:30:46 (EST)

you missed a spot.
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 12:24:20 (EST)

Sure! Everybody beats feet when there's a little w**k to get done around here.
Janitor Proctor
USA - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 12:05:59 (EST)

Anybody interested in some rather damp dead files?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 11:46:01 (EST)

I'm still mopping
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 11:20:22 (EST)

I'm mopping
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 10:56:12 (EST)

YUM! I love to lap up anti-freeze! It's so sweet and I love the way it pools beneath parked autos!
Kitty Kat
USA - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 10:30:43 (EST)

we got excellent antifreeze buckets in the bucket.
some guy
pawtucket, - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 10:28:09 (EST)

Excitement just follows me wherever I go. The building isn't getting evacuated THIS time, but a major waterfall developed in the ceiling in the vault where I w**k. I MEAN MAJOR WATERFALL!!!!! A pipe burst and I've been mopping up for an hour already. At one point there was 20 people in here moving files yelling and in a general state of wigged out panic whilst I calmly went about the business of sopping up antifreeze laden water (no I don't know why it has antifreeze in it). I'll fill in the soggy details as mop breaks allow.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 10:21:42 (EST)

That is one stupid fucking contest. But I think I have the answer to what's wrong with the picture. Twisted personalities and habs lovin' fools aside, SOMEBODY has a big night coming up...
MJ¨
USA - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 09:58:55 (EST)

A real man... Good morning lurk
MJ¨
USA - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 09:57:42 (EST)

We did to know him, we did to!
Two Litle Kids
Ronald MacDonald House, USA - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 09:57:08 (EST)

Okay, Here's my Gordon story. Parking lot for the Living Room (bubble era). Near the bottom of the stairs. Two excitable kids run up to Gordon and say, "Hey Gordon!" He turns and says "I don't know you. You fuckers don't know me." And like Proctors story - blood ensues. Well, I guess he didn't know them.
Don
Keepeing Safe Distance, USA - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 09:29:50 (EST)

Someone's on the calender. Someone's on the calender. Big night for somebody!
Don
El Marko, USA - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 09:24:43 (EST)

That David Cassidy look alike is Gordon. One night we were standing outside a club and Gordon saw three guys ready to start a fight with one other guy. He had just been telling me he was bored and he smiled when he saw the fight about to start. He went over and told the three guys that it wasn't fair that there were three of them so he told the one guy to take a walk and he took on the three guys by himself. He hurt them very badly and very quickly. It looked like a friggin cartoon the way the bodies were flying, well that is except for the blood. Of course that was before Gordon joined the service and got special forces training. The gent in the center is Sluggo, drummer for Boneyard and highly respected book critic.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 09:04:58 (EST)

sluggo would never wear such a stupid hat?
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 07:51:38 (EST)

hmm...not sure. is that a proctor sandwich? the guy on the right sorta looks like david cassidy?
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Monday, December 09, 2002 at 06:53:33 (EST)

What's wrong with this picture?
BSCD
Basement, USA - Sunday, December 08, 2002 at 23:48:58 (EST)

this shit ROCKS! http://kaiju.com/home.htm
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Sunday, December 08, 2002 at 17:29:27 (EST)

When is that fucking bowling alley gig? Evertime I click on "shows" that fucking 9 year old body builder tells me I'm fucking high.
Curious Lurker
around the bay, USA - Sunday, December 08, 2002 at 15:07:02 (EST)

Benny Sizzler is a load of ass drippings
Larissa Thomas <hot@lonely.com>
Scranton, PA USA - Sunday, December 08, 2002 at 11:47:51 (EST)

Is Benny Sizzler really a band or just a collection of losers? Is that an oxymoron?
Laramie James
Tulsa, Okie USA - Saturday, December 07, 2002 at 22:59:37 (EST)

nomar's marrying the footie chick! cool!
boris
ukrainus, - Saturday, December 07, 2002 at 10:37:59 (EST)

Son, I assume you were talking to Me. It was very easy. First I checked with the BSTC (Blessed Sacrament Technical Cardinal) concerning the proper brown. Pantone 666. Rather unfortunate but this whole 'free will' idea of Mine sometimes seems to have some unexpected results.
Dog Almighty
North _____, - Saturday, December 07, 2002 at 08:55:30 (EST)

Is this band benny sizzler anygood? I heard the lead singer was hot.
Larissa Thompson
USA - Saturday, December 07, 2002 at 00:06:27 (EST)

how you do that?!
Jesus T. Christ
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 20:59:58 (EST)

ooh! but i just made lurk 15200!!! woo hoo!
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 19:15:06 (EST)

DAMMIT i'm having seizures or something!
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 19:14:27 (EST)

i gave you that win, proctor. i couldn't play since i was the one who gave MJ¨ the picture. silly, silly!
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 19:13:57 (EST)

i gave you that win, proctor. i couldn't play since i was the one who gave MJ¨ the picture. silly, silly!
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 19:06:11 (EST)

And on the Ninth Day, well-rested and reg'lar....I created....

B E N N Y

S I Z Z L E R !!!
Dog Almighty
North_______, - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 18:32:34 (EST)

On the Eighth Day I was wicked tired so I took the very first Holy Shit.
Dog Almighty
North ______, - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 18:29:41 (EST)

Rotsa Ruck!! Did ya sober up the contest captain yet? teee hee!!
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 17:19:59 (EST)

Well I'm departing for the weekend deluding myself that I've got a job. yada yada yada, I'm out((({{{[[[]]]}}})))~~~~~~~~
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 17:18:34 (EST)

Oh don't you worry you meatworld lurkers, the BSCD and the BSTC will be pow wowing from our undisclosed location this weekend, dreaming up ways to torment your feeble minds with contests and gags.
BSCD
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 17:16:47 (EST)

Proctor Job Security =Low
Shit R. Starter
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 17:14:15 (EST)

HA!! Ya probably thought I was gone, but no I'm just finally getting to eat lunch. I'm low in damn near every way BUT libido. jerzy I'll take the challenge any time and the rest of the lurkers can split the pay per view purse after we kill each other. Hey I beat you on the contest cuz you waz spending your time gloating. Duz you recall the story of the tortoise and the hare?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 17:11:04 (EST)

Don Intellect = LOW
Shit N. Starter
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 17:10:41 (EST)

jerzy you can stop hitting the button now
(she's a bit OCD)
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 17:06:20 (EST)

Proctor Libido=Low
Shit S. Starter
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 17:05:32 (EST)

Maybe this is more readable..... Paranoid: Low, Schizoid: Low, Schizotypal: Low, Antisocial: Low, Borderline: Low, Histrionic: Moderate, Narcissistic: Low, Avoidant: Low, Dependent: Low, Obsessive-Compulsive: Low
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 17:00:53 (EST)

check out this test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv heh. below are my ratings. proctor should get a kick... Disorder Rating Paranoid: Low Schizoid: Low Schizotypal: Low Antisocial: Low Borderline: Low Histrionic: Moderate Narcissistic: Avoidant: Low Dependent: Low Obsessive-Compulsive: Low
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 16:44:09 (EST)

how long do you think it would take for proctor and i to kill each other if ever actually met? oh, and yes, that picture is of my brother and i back in the day. it was taken by my moms in front of our house in chicago. even then i had this thing about dressing up - i'm wearing my brother's football uniform, complete with pads in that there snapshot. sometimes i would add my sister's tutu and tall black riding boots that were like thigh-highs on me when i was that age. what a hoot i was. no, really.
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 16:37:53 (EST)

if their motto isn't "Redefining Chooch Since 1979" then...well....it should be.
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 16:28:53 (EST)

the very best of warwick's thriving disco scene. viva la mullet!
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 16:27:22 (EST)

Jersy, coming back swinging. Don't call it a comeback, she's been here for years.
LL Kill P
Hoodsie, USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 16:15:22 (EST)

What's a "Barry's"? Barry's Nissan and Volvo North Kingston?
Don
Car-los, USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 16:13:14 (EST)

if SOMEBODY didn't have to pay for their sex in the form of watching strippers and lapdances, perhaps they could afford a confuser outside of the meatworld....of course, if they didn't pay for it, then they'd probably never have any positive human interaction.
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 15:53:36 (EST)

spalling bad thing=think da
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 15:42:41 (EST)

speaking of french, boris is sporting the new Moet & Chandon tee today. boris' wife got one free from the bouncer at barry's who makes the cash deposits at her bank branch. which leads me to think -- what a PERFECT place for a benny gig! barry's barry's barry's!! whaddya thing there donny brook?
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 15:42:01 (EST)

Maginot. It means "Maginot" in French.
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 15:39:45 (EST)

I think that's the french magineaux (spall?) line. note the holes, they must be preparing to surrender to somebody again. maybe iraq
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 15:32:25 (EST)

what's that, the french olympic basketball team?
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 15:26:44 (EST)

..............
Marcel Marceau
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 15:23:20 (EST)

there is just so much love here on the lurk today. kinda makes me feel warm and fuzzy all over... oh that's right I'm overheated and hairy all the time. never mind, carry on
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 14:48:36 (EST)

resouceful? SPALLCHECK!
u know who
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 14:30:12 (EST)

I'll have the lurkers note that the counter is tripping like a hummingbirds heart today. Either we got traffic or one of us is having a seizure at their desk with their finger on the trigger.
Lurk Statistical Departmernt
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 14:29:15 (EST)

SOME people are resouceful enuf to ripoff Megabank Co. while others just whine about the co-w**kers they have to put up with to live like a fat cat and act smug on a certain lurk.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 14:26:19 (EST)

Winona got 3 years probing (sic), 10,000 in fines, 480 community service and an order to get checked from the neck up. her reaction.....
Now That's Acting!
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 14:21:30 (EST)

jerz,i hate to defend proctor, really i do. but what makes this stupid little state so unique is its consistently SHITE economy. it has many cool places (esp nine months outside summer, when you can actually notice them). but the little napoleons running the show keep it fucked. i wouldn't envy anyone looking for w**k here anytime, da.
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 14:21:28 (EST)

i guess SOME people just lack being resourceful...blah blah blah...
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 14:17:13 (EST)

I'm just effing broke. I gotta panhandle up $400 to pay for school books by the end of the month. At 25 cents a pop for me giving head do you know how much lavoris I'm gonna go through to buy them?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 14:15:28 (EST)

I just e-mailed this to a bunch of folks, but I found it on the web so I figgered I'd share. Abbot & Costello gotta be rolling in their graves laughing.
Hu's On First?
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 14:11:43 (EST)

i think benny should host a live chat some night. heh. oh, that's right...SOME of us can only lurk from the meat world...oh well, too bad, so sad....if they weren't so effing cheap then they wouldn't have to miss out!
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 14:09:34 (EST)

What's so tempting?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 14:01:12 (EST)

the lurk merchandise silly goose. just turn the thumbs down to thumbs up.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 14:00:24 (EST)

what, is your head on a stick for sale?
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 13:48:06 (EST)

boris is WICKED tempted
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 13:44:29 (EST)

hey jerzy, while they're sobering up the contest captain have you checked out the merchandise recently?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 13:41:43 (EST)

COOL! special effects too
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 13:29:00 (EST)

FUCK UOIU I HATRE YOUH PAROCTPOR!
BSCD (speaking thru a vocoder)
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 13:18:35 (EST)

This is almost as good as when I italicized the whole lurk. tee hee!
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 13:17:09 (EST)

The good Contest Captain has been removed to his favorite undisclosed location.
Intern Lurk
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 13:16:17 (EST)

erp
BSCD
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 13:15:23 (EST)

I have to agree there, don WAS right
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 13:14:57 (EST)

*hic* errr..so I's just type in the words here and then *hic* the picture comes up and *hic* aww fuck it...
BSCD
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 13:14:30 (EST)

the suspense is killing me
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 13:13:52 (EST)

FUCK YOU DON YOU IGNORANT SLUT
BSCD
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 13:13:32 (EST)

Don knows. Don knows this one. I'm gonna win for once. Q. "Whats wrong with this picture?" A. The URL!
Don
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 13:13:01 (EST)

FUCK *hic* where's my BM? Shit...let's try this then.
BSCD
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 13:12:55 (EST)

jerzy knew, but she didn't say, I got the first log in. Was I right about that being her bro?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 13:12:15 (EST)

Shit*hic* where tha fuck is the BSTC when you need him...? Let's try that again...
BSCD
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 13:11:08 (EST)

I think more Texans should be vigilant about protecting their cold ones. That'd be an easy way to half that population.
Don
Cold Ones 'R Us, USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 13:11:05 (EST)

for tongue twuisters I always liked.. as six slimey snakes slid up the stake six slimey snakes slid down.... I think it's describing a republican stag party
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 13:10:38 (EST)

Okay. New contest. What's wrong with this picture?
Benny Sizzler Contest Director
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 13:09:45 (EST)

We have a winner. The freak in the football uniform and tutu is Jerzy Grrrl. A case of BM goes out to whover guessed it first. *hic* who was it?
Benny Sizzler Contest Director
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 13:08:16 (EST)

I used to annoy the crap out of people with that word when I was about 4 or 5. Of course I've expanded my repetoire a bit since then.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 13:08:00 (EST)

I wish I could say "only in Texass could this happen"
Don't Even Think About Touching MY LAST BEER!
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 13:05:09 (EST)

try to say pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis three times really fast!
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 13:04:58 (EST)

pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis is black lung disease. heh. i just like that it's one ver' ver' long word. tee hee!
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 13:04:36 (EST)

They ain't totally representative, but they DO speak that crap outloud where you have to hear it ala jerzy's office.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 12:53:31 (EST)

On the other hand I see the freak contingent gathering speed too. The majority is going totally nazi, but we aren't alone in oddsville we're everywhere and we have a HUGE advantage. They don't have a clue what we're really about so they can't exactly snuff us out. They can only try to quiet us down once and a while. Us misfits on the other hand can hit the switch on the fog machine any time and enjoy watching them scurry around like the meat simpletons that they are.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 12:50:18 (EST)

(heh heh) see also pond scum music critics for #2 below (heh heh)
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 12:49:57 (EST)

(hiccup) whoopsy
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 12:45:26 (EST)

i kinda think those boards aren't too representative of anything other than 1. too many people have too much internet access and meat time on their hands and 2. people are real fuckin' brave when there aren't repercussions for their oral diarrhea.
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 12:44:53 (EST)

Black Lung
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 12:43:24 (EST)

MJ, you mean like putting hank the war pig kissinger in charge of the 9/11 "investigation" ?
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 12:42:52 (EST)

Do we have term limits on the lurk?... jerzy I go on yahoo message boards attached to each news item all the time and I'll tell ye it is meat cesspool out there and the big chunk of the generation coming up should be wearing jack boots and brown shirts. We see a lot less of it being in the "liberal" (human) northeast megalopolis. So for what you're seeing in your office it's a lot worse in the great hinterlands (wastelands) of the US.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 12:42:17 (EST)

pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. wtf IS that?
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 12:41:36 (EST)

which term, boris?
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 12:24:29 (EST)

I'm back for a SECOND. What chaps my ass is that young people are using terms that you would have thought were dying out with the older generation. Nope. There's a whole new generation of racist, elitist, judemental fucks the likes of which Hitler would be proud. Scary.
MJ¨
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 12:10:31 (EST)

sadly (or not) i can quote almost that entire movie from memory. 'Let's Have a War' is great but scarilyy true today. repo man got all night, every night.
Mike Light
ukrainus, - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 11:56:00 (EST)

damn fine term. wb jerz...
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 11:51:51 (EST)

the fact that the people that i spend my days in the meat world with use the term "retarded" to describe other people really chaps my ass. they also use the term oriental to classify asian people. fuckers. we all might have to move to canada.
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 11:41:56 (EST)

O'Neil and Lindsay both resigned, something wicked this way comes. They were the moderate economic voices in the dumbya's administration. Can you say Black Friday boys and girls?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 11:35:05 (EST)

That suits ya. After your Halloween pics I can picture you with the wings and crown, nodding regally at your subjects. Plus you get to fly. That's just always way cool.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 11:31:56 (EST)

i am a lion with wings.
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 11:27:09 (EST)

The lurk is the official link of the Misfit Toys I believe. I think d.t.f. may actually be the dolly the rag doll. I always fancied myself to be a Bob-in-the-box.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 11:10:21 (EST)

Lurk on, I shall return.
MJ¨
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 10:58:36 (EST)

right on - that's a great film. i hate 'em too.
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 10:57:29 (EST)

To quote a line from Repo Man, "ordinary fucking people, I hate 'em"
MJ¨
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 10:56:56 (EST)

yeah, yeah, i know. most days this sort of shit don't get to me, but other days i'm emotionally fragile. i dunno. i just hate that there are people out there that want to make you feel bad for being different from them. i try not to do that to other people, why do they have to do it to me? and unfortunately, i gotta pay rent so...well....you know. forgive me for venting, i don't want to ostracize myself from the lurk either. you dig?
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 10:54:59 (EST)

Oh I got it allright and I just about slit my wrists and ran a warm bath after reading it. You really know how to brighten a lurker's day. Don't worry, you'll get your's when I post that "surprise" I was talking about the other day....
MJ¨
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 10:54:50 (EST)

And another thing. If you saw Proctor, Boris, Don, Drugsy, Ole Lady S and even dirty little Willy in person, you'd feel like June Cleever. And oh yeah. Let's let that contest run a bit. I'm off into the meat and am preparing myself for a wallet tit roundhouse to the puss...After recovery I'll log.
MJ¨
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 10:50:31 (EST)

Welcome aboard MJ. Looks like we got a quorum. Did you check out the black november poem?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 10:48:28 (EST)

Jerzy, take comfort here. This is the lurk of misfit logs. Fuck 'em all at your new place of w*@k. They don't get you?Fly your freak flag high and LURK ON
MJ¨
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 10:48:01 (EST)

a real man...
MJ¨
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 10:45:46 (EST)

oh, just in general. i figured i needed to catch up on my insults and that's a damn fine term. very long word. now, where's boris and MJ¨?! where's my fucking party?!!?
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 10:45:41 (EST)

Which sick demented ungodly act are you refering to?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 10:39:55 (EST)

proctor, you are worse than pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, you sick punkassbitchmotherfucker.
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 10:37:16 (EST)

I SWEAR I had NOTHING to do with this... although my memory can get a bit... shall we say FOGGY!
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 10:32:28 (EST)

smoky, you should go live with MJ¨. i heard they have a weakness for pups over there.
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 10:31:44 (EST)

So that's how he does that!! I knew that evil bastard was up to something. I think I'll go crap on his pillow.
Smoky (Proctor's Dog)
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 10:25:37 (EST)

Wear your brown and yellows proudly jerzy. Us lurkers have standards to kick to the curb. Meat folk don't understand and if you pick on em it's kinda like pretending to throw the tennis ball over and over when you're playing fetch with the dog... well maybe it would be OK if you tried it on them once or twice. Go ahead see if they fall for the fake throw.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 10:05:39 (EST)

temperatures are getting warmer, though prague is cold. see?
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 10:04:46 (EST)

tee hee hee! i'm not sayin' nothin' 'til MJ¨ says sumpin'. you lurkers are like my equally unpopular crew. yay!
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 10:04:00 (EST)

i feel like i have re-entered high school here at the meat shop in the meat world, and i am the most unpopular kid at school. it sucks, but what can i do when i'm the odd man out? they think i'm weird. ugh.
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 10:01:04 (EST)

Is that jerzy in that pic?... with her brother ala Prague?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 10:00:17 (EST)

I'm not sure on the "peeps" but that certainly appears to be the Brady family station wagon in the background.
Don
The Shovel, USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 09:59:25 (EST)

I WIN I WIN!!! i know who those peeps are in the mystery picture!!!!! hahahahahahahahaha! MJ¨ - you made my day! hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!! now, the big question is...do i share my knowledge?!!?
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 09:49:28 (EST)

An important 40th anniversary is coming December 19th. And it's now available in DVD and VHS. WHOOHOO!! Razzleberry dressing is still my fave.
Mr Magoo's Christmas Carol
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 09:35:11 (EST)

Bigfoot is dead. Rest in peace Harry.
The Hendersons
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 08:55:05 (EST)

Oh and they did repost the pic, click on contest director to see it. Were you in recovery mode at 7:30 or did you forget how to lurk after just a couple of days?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 08:36:21 (EST)

JERZY! I was just about to start the jerzy is dead rumor again. I haven't been properly insulted in days. I mean boris gets in the occasional good shot, but EP and Lala only play once a year. You missed me coining a new lurkism too. It's not quite the quality of anal blood farts, but wallet tit roundhouse met with immediate and unanimous approval.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 08:29:46 (EST)

welll, you going to repost it or what?! good morning lurkers.
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 07:37:40 (EST)

Aww hell. That bitch MJ¨ is a lazy fuck. I'll post the link real proper like.
Benny Sizzler Contest Director
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 00:03:32 (EST)

THERE you are. We were getting worried. You missed the contest. Scroll down to the log signed 'Gene Rayburn". Nobody has guessed correctly yet.
MJ¨
USA - Friday, December 06, 2002 at 00:01:15 (EST)

okay. i'm here. it's late, it's snowy, but i'm here dammit. do none of you care that i've virtually been buried at w*!k?! i could be dead for all you care! what am i? kitty genovese?! WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF HOLIDAY SPIRIT IS THIS, ANYWAY?!!?
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 21:41:07 (EST)

Dave, I gotch yer gotch RIGHT HERE
MJ¨
USA - Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 18:38:35 (EST)

and one other thing major, please let me know where to send the flowers for your sister -- the one who married jamal awl. should i make it out to mrs bloob-awl?
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 18:37:04 (EST)

ah...see? isn't accuracy wonderful major bloob?
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 18:29:47 (EST)

gotch: canadian slacker term for underwear, usually briefs ha ha ha
d.t.f. <david@glhs.ca>
gotchcity, un down under - Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 17:56:20 (EST)

Just checked the NWS (see previous lurk) looks like we ain't getting that much after all. 4-8 in is the new call and done by midnight. They're springing us early cuz they're tired of hearing us rattle the cage so I'm out[[[{{{((()))}}}]]]~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 16:50:58 (EST)

Bob Bloob
Hi
USA - Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 16:43:12 (EST)

WTF is a gotch?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 16:42:12 (EST)

dude!! i wanna order some wicked merch! i need some of them wicked-hot gotch (do y'all use that word down there?) and i need a patch too....... i will send you lots of worthless canadian money!! love, dave
d.t.f. <david@glhs.ca>
stoon, sk cannotdraw - Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 15:42:55 (EST)

You can reference the lurk archives for all the drummer and guitarist jokes that this brought to mind.
A Self Tuning Piano
USA - Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 15:30:01 (EST)

They allow gainful employment in the bucket?
a bucket brigader
USA - Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 15:20:09 (EST)

hey major...don't you spell your name with two O's?
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 15:03:45 (EST)

I've only got my usual cinderblock view. I have to use the snow globes in my mind to see the snow outside. Problem is I get so friggin dizzy shaking them.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 14:56:08 (EST)

Someday a real snow will come and wipe the bucket clean of the filth, the scum, the gainfully employed.
Maj. Bob Blob
USA - Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 14:54:41 (EST)

even the bucket looks slightly less ugly buried in snow.
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 14:36:41 (EST)

This is truly a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma. Even a real man would be mystified by this progression.
Britney Spears Boobs
USA - Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 14:35:27 (EST)

MJ you gotz mail
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 13:55:27 (EST)

I own many weapons of ass destruction.
Sodom Hussein
Baghdad, - Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 13:43:24 (EST)

Mind you, I like the idea of running around with a head-on-a-stick. Keep me posted if you go for it.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 12:09:55 (EST)

Don, don't tell me you actually watch those bozos for other than entertainment purposes. Use the National Weather Service if you want straight poop. This hasn't been updated since 5 this morning, but if you check the different radars you can see this thing is moving quicker than they thought so we'll probably get less snow than they expected too. It looks like it might be starting soon by the looks of the radar too. I forget their usual update time, but it's probably soon.
Proctor Giving The Straight Poop
USA - Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 12:07:15 (EST)

WTF. "It's not going to snow until late afternoon" Gary Lay is a BIG FAT LIER. I say we string him up burn his effigy and run around town with his head on a stick.
Don
Hydroplanes, USA - Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 11:27:11 (EST)

Does "sold out" imply that at least one has been sold in the past?
Drugsy
Inventory Management, USA - Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 11:19:39 (EST)

LET'S KICK SOME INVENTORY ASS!!!!!!
MJ¨
USA - Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 11:17:43 (EST)

whadaya expect when we get paid in novelty soaps and benny stickers or worst of all sometimes the boss tries to pass off some of that useless canuk scrip. if we can ever figure out how to cut through The Club¨ across the door and get out of the dungeon annex of the basement WE ARE OUTA HERE!
the schmeggeggies
USA - Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 11:10:13 (EST)

Double here here! I say a round of wallet tit roundhouses are in order.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 10:39:20 (EST)

Here here Proctor. Do you believe the schmeggeggies we got w*@king for us? I swear I'm gonna have to pull a diva and clean some house around this pussy pit. How can we expect to compete with the other professional rock units out there if we can't even keep a pair of Brown and Yellows in stock?!!!
MJ¨
R&R CONTROL, USA - Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 10:18:30 (EST)

WHADAYA MEAN SOLD OUT!!! I want a Middleblob Police Patch damn it. And in the glorious brown and yellow no less! No skivvies, no patches, what slacker is in charge of inventory down there? If I have to drag my fat accountant hairsuit ass down there to straighten out the books and get the merchandise moving there are gonna be some new stains on somebody's brown and yellows. Jumping Criminee!! Don't you guys know that Kwanzaa's coming? One of the gifts that's celebrated is tacky police patches. What are we tell all the minions if they can't get a Middleblob police patch to give someone during Kwanzaa? And if you think I'm gonna be the one to break the news to all the little ones you got another thing coming!
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 09:38:30 (EST)

Coffee milk instead of coffee, it's definitely got possibilities, but we need some substitute for greaseball doughnuts to entice the cops. Do you still have any of those gray stool samples lying around? If they have enuf grease content in em they just might fit the bill.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 09:17:16 (EST)

Consume
Obey
USA - Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 09:12:07 (EST)

"benny sizzler -- middleblob's finest!" with the eclipse bottle. boris smells merch!
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 08:56:13 (EST)

I see that we may have to activate the Middleblob revolutionary cell in case the orifices of the law act up. I'll have to make sure our cell is up on the Heimlich manuever too. Chances are Middleblob's finest hasn't had to deal with the likes of us in a long... well never and they're likely to choke on their doughnuts when they see us coming.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 08:55:18 (EST)

When are you fuckin guys gonna order some more Middleblob Police patches
Andrea Lugnut
Chepachet, RI USA - Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 00:08:22 (EST)

It's about time DTF showed his hariy ass round this lurk. Hosers. You gotta love 'em.
Auntie G
USA - Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 00:06:31 (EST)

awww.....i miss y'all, my sorry ass has been all work and no play. just want you to know that my hearts still in the lurk! and big up to aunty g for the awesome rock-mail!!!! later folks, dave the fag
d.t.f. <david@glhs.ca>
stoon, sk canaduh - Wednesday, December 04, 2002 at 22:15:12 (EST)

As Chief of Police in the quaint hamlet of Middleblob I'll have you know our nightsticks have your assholes name on them. And we'll be tapping a fame like rhythm on your uvila from the inside - out.
Sgt. Bob Blob <patches@brown&yellow.com>
Middleblob, USA - Wednesday, December 04, 2002 at 21:40:13 (EST)

I'm off to buy too much white bread and milk so I can hunker down for the winter onslaught. Yo jerzy, wherefore art ye? LURK ON VALIANT ONES!!! I'm out{{{[[[((()))]]]}}}~~~~~
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, December 04, 2002 at 17:00:30 (EST)

Surprise?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, December 04, 2002 at 16:44:40 (EST)

Proctor, I have on good account that the BSTC has a surprise for you on the lurk tomorrow. MJ have to go to meat world now so till then, Wallet Tits out.
MJ¨
USA - Wednesday, December 04, 2002 at 16:27:37 (EST)

first monkey link kid approved, second monkey link is a highly ornate monkey skull ashtray confiscated by customs somewhere. If I had just posted the pic it woulda been weeks before it was identified cuz it's so covered in metal doodads. Maybe not for vegetarian squeamish longpig.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, December 04, 2002 at 16:00:37 (EST)

boris I think you're in. If I remember correctly the first anniversary is The Puke In Your Bowling Shoes Anniversary. You sentimental lug you
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, December 04, 2002 at 15:56:42 (EST)

MJ thinks it's a good idea NOT to go to monkey link. Just a sneaking suspicion. Boris, one year of prison time already passed? I think polyquagmite candlepins are the gift for one year.
MJ¨
USA - Wednesday, December 04, 2002 at 15:53:54 (EST)

A real man...
MJ¨
USA - Wednesday, December 04, 2002 at 15:50:19 (EST)

boris needs to know whether a drunken, loud bowling alley event in middleblob qualifies as an adequate first anniversary present, da.
boris
ukrainus, - Wednesday, December 04, 2002 at 15:21:18 (EST)

I smell a primate thread
Baboon Pads
USA - Wednesday, December 04, 2002 at 14:48:49 (EST)

By far the sickest photo posted on the lurk. Is that one of the prize categories?
Monkey Skull Ashtray
USA - Wednesday, December 04, 2002 at 14:36:25 (EST)

Have you had your monkeyroids today?
click at your own risk
USA - Wednesday, December 04, 2002 at 14:12:35 (EST)

I thought Radio shack had Phalangist leanings?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, December 04, 2002 at 13:46:12 (EST)

Bowling Alley Gig: December 28, Oddballs, Chases Lane, Middleblob, behind the bombed out Ames department store and the communist contolled Radio Shack.
Benny Sizzler Un-American Activities Chairman
Middleblob, RI USA - Wednesday, December 04, 2002 at 13:29:28 (EST)

How come everybody's picking on us
Chil's Balls
Fromunder, USA - Wednesday, December 04, 2002 at 13:27:12 (EST)

My camel straw has TWO humps!
dis-straw-t lurker
USA - Wednesday, December 04, 2002 at 12:26:54 (EST)

That's right. That's what I said.
boterhred
USA - Wednesday, December 04, 2002 at 12:17:50 (EST)

My client has asked me to tell the lurk that she thinks you are all fucking high and can't be botehred with your inane chatter. The font humor thread was the camel's straw.
Jerzy Grrrl's lawyer
USA - Wednesday, December 04, 2002 at 12:16:56 (EST)

i miss jerzy. wonder if it's snowing there yet. evidently we're gonna get smacked pretty good tomorrow...
boris
ukrainus, - Wednesday, December 04, 2002 at 11:50:53 (EST)

Part of the winning extract reads: "Weirdly, he was clad in pin-stripes at the same time as being naked. Pin-stripes were erotic, the uniform of fathers, two-dimensional fathers. "The jargon he'd used at the consultation had become bewitching love-talk: ... dislocation of the second MTPJ ... titanium hemi-implant .... "Yes!' she whispered back. Dorsal subluxation ... flexion deformity of the first metatarsal ...'. "Oh yes!' she shouted, screwing up her face in concentration, tossing back her hair. Yes, oh Malcolm, yes!'."
Winner Of The Annual Bad Sex In Fiction Award
USA - Wednesday, December 04, 2002 at 11:41:37 (EST)

Chil's balls have caused TERROR in women and children alike. Dropped or not dropped they must be eliminated. In a unique joint venture between Donald Rumsfeld and the Prophet Mohamed a unilateral fatwa has been declaired. Weapons inspectors have been asked to vacate the area for their own protection. We will never forget!
W
USA - Wednesday, December 04, 2002 at 11:19:44 (EST)

You wouldn't think a wallet-tit roundhouse was a laughing matter if you had the impression of a snap permanently engraved on your retina.
a lurker with a snap-on eye patch
USA - Wednesday, December 04, 2002 at 10:59:18 (EST)

My clent's balls have not yet dropped equally therefore they can not be considered a fair target for the Prophet Mohammed's fatwa.
Chil's Lawyer
USA - Wednesday, December 04, 2002 at 10:47:02 (EST)

nope, nope and nope to the contest guesses. But VERY fucking funny nonetheless, ie: "...wallet tit roundhouse"
Gene Rayburn
USA - Wednesday, December 04, 2002 at 10:44:59 (EST)

So when is the Bowling With Benny episode supposed to air?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, December 04, 2002 at 10:39:42 (EST)

Great, I just get the ASPCA off my ass about those pictures of proctor with his head up a parrot's ass and now a sponsor goes and fucks with the sun. I'm telling ya right now that I'm not getting paid in novelty soaps again for handling this case!
I. Cheatum esq. from the office of Dewey, Cheatum, & Howe
USA - Wednesday, December 04, 2002 at 10:05:19 (EST)

News Flash! Eclipse coffee syrup has blotted out the sun. All citizens are being asked to throw back a few gaggers and wash em down with as much coffee milk as possible.
Black Hole Sun
USA - Wednesday, December 04, 2002 at 09:53:46 (EST)

Judging by the diminutive stature and sports attire I'd say the one on the left is a real man. Projecting the (lack of) growth curve backwards and applying the Pearson correlation coefficient I estimate she was 25 1/2 years old at the time. The person on the right is holding his eyes in pain having just been slapped in the face with a wallet-tit roundhouse.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, December 04, 2002 at 08:43:39 (EST)

Let me be clear. The fatwa is distributed equally to each ball. Specifically, there is a fat on the left one and a wa on the right. There is no fatwa on the ballsack per se, but if it becomes an accidental casualty, praise allah.
Mohammed's Lawyer
- Wednesday, December 04, 2002 at 08:10:04 (EST)

don from johnston working on his mad papparazzi skills with....ummm...uma thurman?
boris
ukrainus, - Wednesday, December 04, 2002 at 08:07:25 (EST)

Lurk contest 2000. Who am I?
Gene Rayburn
USA - Tuesday, December 03, 2002 at 23:55:13 (EST)

obey
Consume
USA - Tuesday, December 03, 2002 at 23:43:13 (EST)

Benny Sizzler fucked my girlfriend. He is so dead
Randall Thurman
Langston, PA USA - Tuesday, December 03, 2002 at 23:24:54 (EST)

Your band is so hot I shit my pants!
lacy leBeau
Rockford , Illinois USA - Tuesday, December 03, 2002 at 19:49:57 (EST)

Off to my last taste of statistical hell, then a month of glorious debauchery shall ensue. I'm out{{{((({{{}}})))]]]~~~~~~~~~~~
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, December 03, 2002 at 16:46:39 (EST)

The final scene where they all go off on the reality TV producers is the most splendid bloodbath I've ever seen.
The Simpsons IS Reality TV
USA - Tuesday, December 03, 2002 at 15:49:39 (EST)

speaking of sherwood, did you happen to see the simpsons sunday. kozlov, five-hole, russian hockey tree, no-wood-nik termites???? wicked fuckin high.
boris
ukrainus, - Tuesday, December 03, 2002 at 15:29:22 (EST)

Stick boy, that's all I'm ever gonna be.
Don
Sherwood, USA - Tuesday, December 03, 2002 at 15:26:20 (EST)

Huh huh, huh huh, this lurk is cool
the beavis and butthead-in-chief
USA - Tuesday, December 03, 2002 at 14:15:35 (EST)

in your case proc it's when department of interior declares yours a Brownfield? hey donny me lad i found your dream gig!
boris
ukrainus, - Tuesday, December 03, 2002 at 14:11:08 (EST)

What's a good hair day?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, December 03, 2002 at 13:53:59 (EST)

They caught me red handed on a bad hair day.
Drugsy
USA - Tuesday, December 03, 2002 at 13:27:18 (EST)

welcome back drugsy!
boris
ukrainus, - Tuesday, December 03, 2002 at 13:23:45 (EST)

I think I found the trophy for the awards. It's a Lurky... That's what I said a Lurky.. http://www.rainbowbrite.tv/b2.htm
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, December 03, 2002 at 12:56:40 (EST)

Excellent idea! How about photo of the year, link of the year, pun of the year, most gruesome mention of a bodily function, insult of the year, and best knock down drag out fight of the year? Any other suggestions?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, December 03, 2002 at 12:44:41 (EST)

Hey, are there going to be any year end bullshit Lurky awards so we can pat ourselves on the back like everyone else does?
Drugsy
I l.u.v. BS, USA - Tuesday, December 03, 2002 at 12:14:46 (EST)

Whole record? Is that like whole wheat? Cuz Benny Sizzler definitely keeps me regular.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, December 03, 2002 at 12:07:20 (EST)

Does seven songs constitute a whole record?
A Real Shitstarter
USA - Tuesday, December 03, 2002 at 11:55:59 (EST)

Son. SPALLCHECK is in your future you ignorant slut.
Haven's "borther"
USA - Tuesday, December 03, 2002 at 11:45:03 (EST)

Hey who ordered the two balls heavy on the fatwa??
Haven Borther guy
- Tuesday, December 03, 2002 at 11:16:52 (EST)

definately best album of the year is Benny Sizzler "Shitstarter" hands down.
Angela Lacey
USA - Tuesday, December 03, 2002 at 11:02:16 (EST)

Hey it reappeared!?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, December 03, 2002 at 10:41:02 (EST)

Aren't there ANY safe marks? I give up... A LOW BLOW... that's all I was trying to say. SHEESH!
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, December 03, 2002 at 10:39:47 (EST)

URL re-run... (I really gotta read that HTML instructional before I blow up the lurk)
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, December 03, 2002 at 10:37:45 (EST)

I think jerzy must go into shock every time someone puts both our names in the same post. After MJ's post yesterday jerzy evaporated from the lurk. Now boris mentions engagement and poof she's gone again. Let's test my theory, I'll put her name right next to mine and see if she drops into cold heap for a couple of hours... proctorjerzy
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, December 03, 2002 at 10:35:05 (EST)

The Beverly Hillbillies theme song is easily the single of the year. When they get to the part about black gold and Texas tea my bubbling crude turns into a gusher.
Dickless Chain-E
USA - Tuesday, December 03, 2002 at 09:33:43 (EST)

The Sam The Sham And The Pharoahs re-issue is definitely album of the year.
Salamander Rush-D
USA - Tuesday, December 03, 2002 at 09:29:46 (EST)

that's boring even to bore-us, da. i'd rather thumb-wrestle angry polar bears.

strokes=album of year? comments from undisclosed location? mr vice president? salman? anyone? is chong still stuck in the cave? is jerzy really engaged to proctor?
boris
ukrainus, - Tuesday, December 03, 2002 at 09:22:38 (EST)

At least I know the pain will stop soon. I have the Statistics final tonight and then I'm a free lurker til Jan 7th.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, December 03, 2002 at 09:22:04 (EST)

Yup, it relates the correlation of a set of data. The more linear the correlation the the greater the r value. Correlation goes from 0- no correlation to -1, 1 perfect (negative or positive) linear correlation. I just used an online stat calculator to check what the answer should be and realized the the answer wasn't one of the mutiple choice answers on the practice test. I think the phrase I'm looking for is *$%#$@% &#^#* ^#$%(&(&%$#@#)P) )*&^%#@W... I think I feel that headache coming back.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, December 03, 2002 at 09:18:07 (EST)

good morning lurk. i like the look of the little guy so much better. thanks anyway MJ¨ - it's cold, but not cold enough for me to submit to being pawed by proctor. puke.
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, December 03, 2002 at 09:12:17 (EST)

proc isn't that voodoo crap about whether one thing can predict another thing, like for insurance tables and the like? god, that makes the sahara desert look damp by comparison. are you the next greenspan? will you be known as alan yellowandbrownspan?
boris
ukrainus, - Tuesday, December 03, 2002 at 08:58:36 (EST)

I gave myself such a pearson product-moment correlation coefficient headache last night. An hour and a half on the same friggin problem with nary a (correct) solution in sight.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, December 03, 2002 at 08:43:39 (EST)

I know. Can you believe how long we suffered with that blurry/fuzzy/pixelated/uncouth Benny Mascot? How uterly pedestrian. Muchos Boris.
Don
Crack O, USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 22:43:12 (EST)

way better opening page flying dwarf roadie. such talent. SUCH fucking talent, da.
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 20:16:07 (EST)

fantay = fantasy, in fuckin loser speak.
Don't forget about me
USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 18:03:08 (EST)

doncha mean dishwasher by day rockstar by fantay. OR dish-jockey by day rockstar by cocain.
Neil Hamburger
USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 18:01:41 (EST)

Benny sizzler ruined my life
Larry Rogers
USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 17:39:27 (EST)

Well before I get typecast I'm turning over a new leaf. I'm out[[[((({{{}}})))]]]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 17:03:49 (EST)

I'm feeling just CAPITAL!
Little Lord Fontelroy
USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 16:54:12 (EST)

Let me bid you a font farewell boris
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 16:43:27 (EST)

designers & pre-press people having font joke contests. a new low is right. we are fucking comPLETE geeks. damn good thing the day's almost over. gotta book, man....
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 16:33:42 (EST)

We checked the stats and yes the lurk has sunk to a new low. Keep up the good lurk!
The Lurk Statistical Department
USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 16:28:30 (EST)

This is obviously a case of the full fonty
Alan Font
USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 16:25:40 (EST)

Font humor! My we have sunk to a new low. And Jersey thought sports was bad.
Don
GPS, USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 16:24:29 (EST)

I don't think fontal nudity is allowed by the lurk overseer.
A Garamond Gourmand
USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 16:18:30 (EST)

or did you mean the font arial?
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 16:15:24 (EST)

Here's a few more. http://www.spaceimaging.com/ http://www.goes.noaa.gov/ http://visibleearth.nasa.gov/ I used to get aerial shots on mapquest too. When you bring up a map you see an extra tab for the aerial shot at the top of the map. Now you have to sign up to get at them, but I don't think it costs anything.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 16:03:57 (EST)

try NASA or this or this or this for starters??
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 15:55:14 (EST)

Hey kids, whats the best source for arial photos on ze web?
Don
Looking4U, USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 15:44:28 (EST)

I've been eddited by some unknown force! We take the... "M" out of manger.
Don
oooh so scandelous, USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 15:29:00 (EST)

Ahh the gay apparel. I forgot myself. I got a 7 second memory like a goldfish.
Don
I've never seen this part of the bowl before, USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 15:27:14 (EST)

Can Hymers be the guest pinsetter for the night? He could use the w**k and I'm sure the bowlers would love to toss a few balls his way.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 14:43:17 (EST)

if they can have xmas in july why not.....
The Fourth of July In December
USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 14:08:51 (EST)

Xmas apparel humor? guess it got by my too
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 13:35:42 (EST)

To pee or not to pee, that is the question
Shakespee-er
USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 13:30:07 (EST)

OOOOOH that don is a clever ducky. snuck it right past boris, da. excellent christmas/apparel humor, da!
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 13:21:56 (EST)

now that's 4X4 drive lurk stylee
Lurk #14,444
USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 12:57:06 (EST)

New instructional video from the Stepford Mortgage Co Propaganda Ministry... http://www.sfgate.com/gate/graphics/2002/11/26/tia.swf
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 12:34:39 (EST)

some people just don't know when to shut up... http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&cid=638&ncid=762&e=1&u=/nm/20021202/en_nm/life_oasis_dc
Bunch-O-Oasissys
USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 12:22:20 (EST)

Doesn't Chewsti get married every other week except February when he gets hitched on every third day?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 12:12:54 (EST)

I say we all get matching bowling shirts in our beloved shades of brown and yellow for the gig. Question is what should we call our bowling team?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 12:07:48 (EST)

joosti got re-married don....
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 12:06:26 (EST)

Don. I wouldn't call the bowling alley gig a step down from the arena's we're used to. I see it as a more of a LATERAL move. It's a chance for us to connect with our people again. You know, get back to basics. Besides, we're else is a real man gonna get some ODDball action?
MJ¨
USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 11:59:39 (EST)

Hi Jerzy. I will dispatch Proctor down to the J.C. to come and hold you with a big ole bear hug for the rest of the winter. Just say the word.
MJ¨
USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 11:55:45 (EST)

I'll punt. Who drummer got BloJo in?
Don
We Now Are Gay Apparel, USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 11:54:08 (EST)

Two questions- can I bring the fog machine and how ornery are the Middleblob firemen?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 11:41:55 (EST)

I can see the flyers now... come to The Benny Sizzler Gutter Ball and see how low Rock'n'Roll can go! We're gonna kick the garbage cans up and down the alleys at OddBalls. (Person with the biggest oddball gets a commerative Benny Sizzler novelty soap-on-a-rope.)
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 11:38:51 (EST)

yah but think of the money you save...dwarf roadies charge by the foot no?
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 10:57:04 (EST)

Benny has been confined to Middleblob city limits. When I say this shithole is right down the street from the bulkhead I mean right fucking down the street. It's a short way to the bottom if you want to rocknroll
Don
Carlos, USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 10:50:28 (EST)

Middleblob? Shit, I'm gonna have to get shots and update my passport.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 10:40:17 (EST)

don, you sure it's Big World, not Big Audio Dynamite or Big Black or Big Country?
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 10:35:31 (EST)

bog fucking world. oh my god. hey anyone see the picture of a certain drummer on the wedding page yesterday in the BloJo?

For foreigners and people from East Providence: Oddballs -- 105 ChaseÕs Lane (behind Ames), Middleblob 849-2298
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 10:31:13 (EST)

Oh, its with the only band older than Benny. Big World. Their last show this summer was sold out, lines around the block.
Don
Dead Strip Mall, USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 10:26:34 (EST)

Rally in Death Ally...
Don
Marketing, USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 10:24:09 (EST)

A Fatwa on your OddBalls¨ or...
Don
Factoid, USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 10:23:01 (EST)

Yea, I caught the Highbury reference. Everybody knows frogs don't have balls.
Don
Johnnycakeston, USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 10:20:53 (EST)

BOWLING ALLEY DETAILS PLEASE
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 10:15:59 (EST)

word, MJ¨. it is so fucking cold here, and it's bound to only get colder. my new obsession is afro ken. afro ken rocks my world and makes me happy.
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 10:15:50 (EST)

Good mornin' lurk. I'm ready to party like a boil is ready to be lanced.
MJ¨
USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 10:01:36 (EST)

I got my part hat on and my official BS Kazoo¨ ready to go. Anyone up for a kazoo rendition of Shitstarter?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 09:56:05 (EST)

I will smack my lips!
Licky
USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 09:43:38 (EST)

may i suggest hiding at highbury. hasn't been anyone with balls spotted there since war of 1812, da.
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 09:41:14 (EST)

good morning folks! i am here...whoopie. let's get the party started.
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 09:26:06 (EST)

Today is Day-One of the Stepford Mortgage Co rollout. There was a fresh batch of cyborgs in the cafetaria when I came in this morning. They're gonna have to crank up the production of the borgs if they expect to replace all the hue-mons that are bailing from the prison ship.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 09:06:30 (EST)

My weekend sucked in ways I never dreamed were possible. I'd totally forgotten about the EP vs Lala game. I was wrong there was at least one more way my weekend could suck.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 08:36:11 (EST)

I am man hear me roar.
Benny Sizzler
USA - Sunday, December 01, 2002 at 22:57:32 (EST)

lurk, rock on...I'll be back in surgury next week...
Dr. Rhythm's Intern
USA - Sunday, December 01, 2002 at 14:01:26 (EST)

what the fuck is a "townie"?

doo-daa, doo-daa, da.
boris
ukrainus, - Saturday, November 30, 2002 at 21:04:03 (EST)

I'm not gonna take this shit lying down. You'll hear from my father.
Intern Rhythm
USA - Saturday, November 30, 2002 at 18:50:02 (EST)

Any chance Benny Sizzler will play Demoines anytime soon?
Lawrence Talbot
USA - Saturday, November 30, 2002 at 17:23:53 (EST)

Benny Sizzler is hot.
The Prophet Mohammed
USA - Saturday, November 30, 2002 at 15:11:48 (EST)

No, come and play in my shorts!
Spud Webb
USA - Saturday, November 30, 2002 at 10:46:24 (EST)

PLEASE come play in my alley!!!
Manute Bowl
- Saturday, November 30, 2002 at 08:37:50 (EST)

They've released the hounds early so I'm skedaddling. I'm out((({{{}}})))~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, November 29, 2002 at 16:56:23 (EST)

Did MJ say gig?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, November 29, 2002 at 16:17:39 (EST)

Listen sports fans, Benny sizzler is working up to a GIG. That's right you heard it here first. A gig. In a bowling alley. Imagine fuckin' that. You lurkers will be the first to know.
MJ¨
USA - Friday, November 29, 2002 at 16:12:40 (EST)

No, that was the year I was servicing him in some alley off Times Square. His Underdong got caught in my braces.
Sweet Polly Purebred
- Friday, November 29, 2002 at 14:39:20 (EST)

Didn't Underdog have an untimely meeting with a powerline or something a couple years back? Deflated carcas ended up on top of some apartment building?
Dons
USA - Friday, November 29, 2002 at 14:31:59 (EST)

I can't find out what happened to Underdog, but I did find a bit of news. I suspect he may be on the lamb... http://www.holecity.com/bloated/news_f.html
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, November 29, 2002 at 13:54:22 (EST)

theodorable sure don't look like he's in a slump. prick. boris having ugly flashback.
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, November 29, 2002 at 13:38:45 (EST)

Give yourself an enema of a mixture of water and your favorite sports cream and see if that helps.
Doc Doc
USA - Friday, November 29, 2002 at 13:16:15 (EST)

Doc, doc, I got this pain in my ass and my friend the parrot told me this is your specialty.
Howard Cosell's Toupee
- Friday, November 29, 2002 at 12:55:19 (EST)

There goes the neighborhood!
Howdy Cosell
USA - Friday, November 29, 2002 at 12:50:03 (EST)

BSPeein' perhaps?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, November 29, 2002 at 12:48:25 (EST)

this comment contains no references to sports of any kind. (oops I said sports, does that count?)... (oops I said it again)
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, November 29, 2002 at 12:47:16 (EST)

the benny version, jerz -- E S peein'
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, November 29, 2002 at 12:45:44 (EST)

jesus. what is this? sportscenter?
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Friday, November 29, 2002 at 12:28:53 (EST)

BADminton now thats a sport.
D
J, USA - Friday, November 29, 2002 at 11:27:22 (EST)

Ass for football Ð its the toughest game as long as you don't touch anyone inappropriately. Its akin to men putting nude lady pictures on the walls to reconfirm their manhood.
Donny
Thong, USA - Friday, November 29, 2002 at 11:26:09 (EST)

"get your TimHo out my blowhole" ? just doesn't have that certain special ring to it.
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, November 29, 2002 at 11:19:16 (EST)

boris, the issue seems to be that the playoffs are supposed to start Tuesday (or thereabouts). They best theory we could come up with is they were worried about the field being trashed from digging out and playing on it. At this point they're probably thinking they don't want the kids to have to play games that close together too. Also now that any decision at all has been delayed so long nobody wants to make the call cuz whoever makes the decision is gonna be in for all kinds of hell from alumni of both stripes.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, November 29, 2002 at 11:18:01 (EST)

I heard Zednik stole Dykhuis' Tim Hortons. Shoved them up his ass and sold them to McLaren for ten loonies apiece.
Don
Osmond, USA - Friday, November 29, 2002 at 11:10:36 (EST)

hey MJ would you call this a hissy fit or a sissy fit?
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, November 29, 2002 at 09:37:36 (EST)

boris just confused as to WHY it was postponed. also, in today's paper they haven't even set a time for the game tomorrow?!??!?!?!? WTF is up with that? do people from east providence not know which end of a shovel goes into the snow?
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, November 29, 2002 at 09:33:27 (EST)

Did anybody catch the Macy's parade? I hadn't seen it in years(now I remember why). I watched for my most beloved float Underdog and I never saw him cruise by. Don't tell me they 86ed Underdog for Barney or I'm gonna have to go postal on Macy's.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, November 29, 2002 at 09:05:26 (EST)

Hey MJ if you want a clear shot from the stands it sounded like there might be an extra ticket floating around for the game-of-games
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, November 29, 2002 at 08:42:34 (EST)

This murderous long-pig is still stuffed from the bounty produced by our mini-auschwitz. The after-slaughter activities included my niece playing a video of Dora the Explorer. It appeared to be some sort of torture device designed for parents, most effective. I then proceeded on a tour-de-dive which ended with me following a lovely young lady on a rather circuitous expedition that ended at Steve Pellegrino's house (if you don't know the significance of that... well I'll leave it to your imagination). We finished an expensive bottle of saki I had and I've got one hell of a long-pig hangover.... Oh and the lala boys have one more day to trash talk... enjoy, da.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, November 29, 2002 at 08:36:09 (EST)

no MJ boris not high or talk football with MJ. boris talk puckyhockey as in Bruins-Habs at noon da.
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, November 29, 2002 at 05:52:33 (EST)

Are we talking football Boris? Are you fucking high? Do you KNOW me? I'd rather rub dirt in my eyes than have anything to do with the lamest of games. I've got a bullet with a football's name on it.
MJ¨
ASS, ASS USA - Friday, November 29, 2002 at 00:03:21 (EST)

so do MJ and/or the guy from johnstonia want to make any predictions or wagers on tomorrow's game at noon? hmm?
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, November 28, 2002 at 21:21:53 (EST)

note to proc: it was the EP people that couldn't figure out how to shovel off a football field. we just call it 'postponing the inevitable'. congrats on staying undefeated for an extra 2½ days though. nice job.
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, November 28, 2002 at 21:20:19 (EST)

You know dahhlink, that Chil is kinda hot. It might be nice to hook up with him. Soon as I get out of this coma.
Zsa Zsa
Los Angeles, CA - Thursday, November 28, 2002 at 19:29:45 (EST)

Listen you long winded, genocide lovin', animal sacrificing, long pig lurkin' cretin- I hereby sentence you to back-to-back eternal halftime shows for the rest of your natural born days.
GOD
USA - Thursday, November 28, 2002 at 19:26:12 (EST)

I noted the open sores reference. I hope that means the roaming eye/nipple thing-a-ma-bob is making the rounds. The scrabble tourny is kicking off here and Leane Rimes is stirring up a battle in my gizzard so I don't know if I can sit through another half of the evil empire playing ball. Speaking of evil, I can't fucking believe Kissinger is back. Bin laden killed 3,000, but that fuck killed tens of thousands. Well if Kissinger can make a come back maybe Benny can get off their collective behinds and pla y a gig or three.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, November 28, 2002 at 18:03:11 (EST)

I guess the lala boys couldn't take the weather. The game's been postponed. Actually there has been a suggestion that the game not be played at all. Whoever suggested that HAS to be new around here. Saturday night is the might-be kickoff.... Oh yeah, I suppose you're saying what the fuck is proctor doing here? It's a special appearance remote lurk. We dismembered 3 birds one deep-fried, one grilled, and one trad turkey. Most delicious autopsy I can remember ever having. Happy T-Day y'all.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, November 28, 2002 at 17:52:40 (EST)

Did someone say hairsuit?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, November 28, 2002 at 17:45:51 (EST)

That is not my hand.
Mr. Pfister
- Thursday, November 28, 2002 at 13:47:19 (EST)

PLEASE get your hand out me bum.
Thomas Turkey
- Thursday, November 28, 2002 at 13:47:04 (EST)

I resent being bandied about.
Moses' Balls
USA - Thursday, November 28, 2002 at 12:29:38 (EST)

May I interest you in this delightful Dolce Gabbana open-toe sandal with matching camel toe loincloth and walking staff by FUBU? You'll be the talk of everyone squatting over the office cesspit with this wardrobe.
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, November 28, 2002 at 11:52:27 (EST)

I may be hirsute but my balls are the size of church bells.
Moses
USA - Thursday, November 28, 2002 at 11:42:18 (EST)

Topped only by Jesus and his satin loin cloth. Why, you should have seen the way that fabric draped over those milky thighs... Moses was a bit too hirsute.
The Prophet Mohammed
USA - Thursday, November 28, 2002 at 10:45:23 (EST)

thanks Mo. one more question: was Moses a really sharp dresser?
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, November 28, 2002 at 10:42:38 (EST)

No, my son, that's BALLED by a buttered candlepin
The Prophet Mohammed
USA - Thursday, November 28, 2002 at 10:37:48 (EST)

Isn't gutter helmet what you get when you get blode in a bowling alley?
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, November 28, 2002 at 10:34:00 (EST)

I only have tow words for all you horny young Christians out there: Gutter Helmet
Arlene Violet
USA - Thursday, November 28, 2002 at 10:28:12 (EST)

I live in Scranton PA, any chance your lame ass excuse for a band will ever tour here?
Lamont Evans
PA USA - Thursday, November 28, 2002 at 10:26:02 (EST)

great ideas don't die of lonliness. mine decapitate their brain stems out of sheer boredom.
don
porta johnston, USA - Thursday, November 28, 2002 at 00:53:06 (EST)

I've yet to have a day without open sores.
JJ
USA - Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 21:27:40 (EST)

Oh yeah, I'm out((({{{}}})))~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 17:22:45 (EST)

Sorry dude, I can't think of how scary an anti-boris would be and I don't want to either. Anti-jerzy don't sound like too keen of an image either. I'm off to have visions of dismembering an unsuspecting fowl. Y'all luurkers have a large day. GO TOWNIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 17:22:14 (EST)

there's a scary thing that happens to boris every time he goes to laundromat. waiting there is the anti-proctor. no matter what day or night, he's there just about every single time.
i've known proctor on a social and professional and occasionally drinking level for several if not many years. this person is his perfect double except for one thing: the dude's a fuckin' moron. Moe Ron's got nothin' on this guy. boris is surprised that this guy can manage to stop himself from dribbling down his chin when he speaks. and not "retarded" stupid, just dumber than dirt stupid. the worst part is, because he sees me there a lot he has decided to be my pal. i do laundry at record speed because of this. half the shit don't even get clean because i want to get the eff out of there fast. i would go elsewhere but it ain't easy finding a laundromat that isn't skanked out, ESPECIALLY within stone's throw of oakland beach. so i go, i wash, i dry, i suffer, i get freaked out. happened last night again. sorry, had to share. fuckin' scary shit.
boris
ukrainus, - Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 16:18:18 (EST)

I don't know what to say about this one (it does take a minute load) http://www.rathergood.com/gak/
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 15:34:15 (EST)

I know my Vikes played like pusses, but this is ridiculous... http://www.rathergood.com/vikings/
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 15:32:09 (EST)

so don, what you're saying is, you had a great idea but it dies of loneliness?
boris
ukrainus, - Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 15:08:57 (EST)

I made out with a nun before. No shit... well it was after she gave up the habit, but she had a tongue like a python.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 14:30:16 (EST)

That was hilarious. I have to go clean my gutters now.
Arlene Violet
Providence, - Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 14:03:35 (EST)

you FUCK her. SEE?!!? SEE?!!???
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 13:48:59 (EST)

CLOSE...
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 13:48:36 (EST)

Dress her up as an alter boy... I knew the CCD classes would pay off sooner or later
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 13:27:16 (EST)

PREGNANT???????
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 13:17:58 (EST)

A NUN.....
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 13:17:39 (EST)

GET....
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 13:17:21 (EST)

DO YOU......
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 13:16:56 (EST)

HOW....
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 13:16:03 (EST)

i've got a joke! i've got a joke!
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 13:04:58 (EST)

First the lurk is down and now this... http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&cid=544&e=2&u=/ap/20021127/ap_on_go_pr_wh/bush
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 13:00:29 (EST)

I had so much to say the last day and a half, and the lurk was gone. Now the moment is gone. I had the greatest lurk entry of all time.
Don
Johnston, USA - Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 12:53:46 (EST)

just 25 milligrams. or was it grams. boris so confused...
boris
ukrainus, - Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 12:42:38 (EST)

How much viagra was in that mickey you slipped me boris? My balls haven't pumped that furiously and continuously since I found that old issue of Penthouse in the neighbors trash when I was in 5th grade
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 12:41:45 (EST)

be we lurking?
a stupid question
USA - Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 12:35:48 (EST)

Mention my behind again and see how long the Lurk stays dead. You've been warned.
David Geffen
- Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 12:25:19 (EST)

long live the BSTC!!
boris
ukrainus, - Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 12:24:23 (EST)

I give up. The lurk has won.
Osama Bin Lardass
cave, cave USA - Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 12:15:10 (EST)

test
test
USA - Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 12:09:59 (EST)

Can Geffen be far behind?
LB v. SY
- Monday, November 25, 2002 at 23:21:21 (EST)

PS-At the risk of still talking about music...Check out Joan Jett's rant against the idiots at Rolling Stone Magazine
MJ¨
USA - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 21:57:07 (EST)

Sonis=Sonic
SPALLCHECK
USA - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 21:55:25 (EST)

HAHAHA! where's the HAIR? At the risk of taking the heat for talking music on this site, who's "Lightening Bolt" and why would you go to a Sonis Youth show?
MJ¨
USA - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 21:55:05 (EST)

Proctor on Viagra
Bagging the
Holiday Bird

boris
ukrainus, - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 20:53:20 (EST)

dammit, ANOTHER infraction for actually discussing music. maybe no one'll notice if i divert their attention.
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 20:48:34 (EST)

what thinketh yon lurk about sonic youth letting lightning bolt headline lupo's the other night?
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 20:44:29 (EST)

SPALLCHECK can't
murderous bastard
USA - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 17:04:08 (EST)

They're probably slaughtering my turkey out at Bell Farms right now. At least they casn't torment him anymore. I'm out[[[((({{{}}})))]]]~~~~~~~~~~
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 17:03:19 (EST)

Some recipes for the squeemish
Vegan T-Day Recipes
USA - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 16:59:33 (EST)

Ahh, the Ole Lady is SO sentimental. It takes me back to a simpler time when you could rape native daughters, pass a few diseases on to the locals, seize their land and do all that in the name of the good lord. Reminds me of an old joke too. How did the Indians end up getting good seats on the first Thanksgiving?..... We made their reservations early.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 16:54:55 (EST)

I like a bird who's whole life has been sheer torture and terror and then I like him to have a slow painful death! All in the name of the desecration of the native population!
Ole Lady Schroeder
USA - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 16:34:27 (EST)

Hey a meezly peeker got lurk #14,000. just don't seem right
Lurk #14,002
USA - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 15:22:40 (EST)

razzleberry dressing is the food of the gods
Tiny Tim (Mr McGOO Version)
USA - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 14:57:58 (EST)

my favorite is the school paste consistency dressing slathered with gravy that my mom made and least fave... hmmmmm... overcooked turkey meat that's so dry it turns to dust in your mouth. Oh and word to the lurk I like fruit cake, if someone regifts a fruitcake to you just forward it to me and we can stop that viscious fruitcake-regift-cycle.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 14:55:28 (EST)

canadian bacon cooked under one red bulb til burned on one side. boris calls it Jose Flambe, da.
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 14:52:29 (EST)

Fried Pilgrim in a honey dijon is most tasty.
Don
Johnstonia, USA - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 14:45:54 (EST)

It's been a while since we've done a lurk survey soooo... What is your favorite AND least favorite Thanksgiving food or beverage item. Please feel free to embellish, embroider, garnish, gussy up, or flat out lie if it will make your answer more interesting
Lurk Statistical Departmernt
USA - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 14:35:29 (EST)

I've always loved the island of misfit toys. The toys they were making in Santa's sweat shop just didn't cut it. I never liked the ending either. The toys were in a place where their "misfit" status was acccepted, why would they want to get put back in "normalville"?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 14:27:09 (EST)

one cent: anyone who puts up christmas/hanukkah/kwanzaa decorations before it should have their shit stolen and/or broken. motherfuckers will start sell-abrating before halloween soon if you let 'em. two cent: how come on every lurker's driver's license under 'State' it says Island of Misfit Toys.
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 13:00:33 (EST)

Give us our land back or we'll bankrupt you all in our casinos
Injun Joe
USA - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 12:51:19 (EST)

I'll have the Fellatio with a side of scrotum and I think a cheeky chardonay would go nicely with that.
Cat Stevens
USA - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 12:49:12 (EST)

word to the lurk...it's almost time to celebrate Turkey Day...any disertations on the subject?
Shotgun Willy
USA - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 12:45:58 (EST)

That BITCH is mine Mohammed. Fuck off.
God
USA - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 12:02:12 (EST)

Vikes fans are purple, just like SOUR GRAPES! How ironic...
Fiddy
Hell, RI USA - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 12:01:49 (EST)

I SAID...Benny Sizzler is ONE FINE PIECE OF HOT JUICY ASS.
The Prophet Mohammed
USA - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 11:53:36 (EST)

The sox have selected one of the neighborhood kids as GM. He was employee of the month in the hot dog concession 3 months in a row and they think he's ready for bigger things now... http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&cid=545&ncid=755&e=1&u=/ap/20021125/ap_on_sp_ba_ne/bba_red_sox_gm
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 11:34:07 (EST)

BTW the previous lurks contain no provocative anal cavity shots.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 11:29:43 (EST)

I'm glad to see the Benny Sizzler Aerobics Program¨ is off to a great start. Notice how they wear the team colors som proudly... http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?g=photos_highlight_fp&a=&tmpl=sl&ns=0&l=1&e=4&a=0&t=
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 11:26:35 (EST)

Proc, check your mail man...sheesh!
Fiddy
Hell, RI USA - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 11:22:59 (EST)

She may have a big nose, but man can she give head!!... http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?g=photos_highlight_fp&a=&tmpl=sl&ns=0&l=1&e=1&a=0
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 11:22:46 (EST)

Flying pig heads! shades of The Lord Of The Flies! Now there are some serious fans. Raiders fans are probably the only American fans that can rate being compared to the OTHER football game fans
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 10:45:14 (EST)

hey don the premiership has some catching up to do. QUALITY fan abuse.
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 10:34:42 (EST)

hey Jerzy did your boyfriend have fun? nice day for a game.
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 09:45:18 (EST)

not worried about fish (= choke every december). am worried about stupid J-E-T-S. bledsoe will also be tough after the bitch-slap we gave him. we're the champs, we deserve tough schedule.
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 09:44:42 (EST)

Of course the big game Thursday will be over hours before Detroit gets an ass whipping. The Lala boys ain't gonna have much of an appetite after the Townies are done embarassing them. That reminds me I gotta stop by Bovi's and get in on one of the pools. I hit for $150 on one a couple of years ago. John Bovi (yes jerzy that's his real name) is a Lala boy and damn near all the customers are Townies so that place is hopping by 7AM on game day and it gets downright insane as the day goes on.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 09:43:25 (EST)

beating Detroit ain't much to write home about either... The Pats have a pretty cushy schedule from here on in so they should finish in the running for the playoffs. The only likely bump in the road is Miami the last week of the season.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 09:30:25 (EST)

penalties you can cure. not so sure about fumbles, especially the truly amazing rate that culpepper coughs it up. boris admits they have some excellent (& young) players but...

and yes, the family does get to see plenty of film on thursday when AMERICA'S TEAM whups detroit.
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 09:11:40 (EST)

I do have to say that the Pats won't be showing off that game footage to the family. The Vikes had to gift wrap that game 20-30 times for the Pats to win by just one TD.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 08:39:12 (EST)

First the Vikes tank out and then I hit that ass link first thing on a Monday morning. This does not bode well for the rest of the week.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 08:35:06 (EST)

Dang, that Benny Sizzler is one fine, hot, piece of ASS!
Mohammed
Up there, USA - Sunday, November 24, 2002 at 21:42:47 (EST)

SPALLCHECK prophet
Miss Take 2002
- Sunday, November 24, 2002 at 18:34:13 (EST)

You know, if the prophey Mohammed was alive today, he would probably marry Benny Sizzler.
Miss World 2002
Nigeria - Sunday, November 24, 2002 at 18:33:44 (EST)

Memba us?
24-17 Spyz
USA - Sunday, November 24, 2002 at 17:51:40 (EST)

The Vikings should quit their day jobs 24-17 da!
Daunte Culpepper
MN - Sunday, November 24, 2002 at 16:11:48 (EST)

Benny Sizzler should quit their night jobs
Lamont
Methuen, MA USA - Saturday, November 23, 2002 at 18:15:26 (EST)

Benny Sizzler ruined my life
Roger
USA - Saturday, November 23, 2002 at 10:48:01 (EST)

true true. viva Peanut!!
boris
ukrainus, - Saturday, November 23, 2002 at 07:01:13 (EST)

A real man goes out for his nightly botox injection and returns to a Benny Sizzler tribute band who's mascot is a 9yr old body builder with a Twizzler for a dick and a Jerzy grrrl who's correcting my spalling. Do you people know who I am?! Well DO YOU?! Where's Drugsy when you need him...
MJ¨
USA - Friday, November 22, 2002 at 22:34:56 (EST)

MJ¨, i think the word you meant to use was garnishes. um. yeah. PLEASE DON'T HIT ME!!! I BEG OF YOU!!!!!
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Friday, November 22, 2002 at 19:09:40 (EST)

Only One Show So Far
Yet Already...
A Tribute Band Emerges...

Introducing...

BENNY TWIZZLER!!!
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, November 22, 2002 at 18:42:15 (EST)

Might I point out that that Grand Canyon of an anus link was posted twice on this lurk today. It accompianed my breakfast and now it granishes my entree...
MJ¨
USA - Friday, November 22, 2002 at 18:37:26 (EST)

alright, the stretched out ass picture is a bit tough to take. of COURSE i had to look at all of the links just to see how disturbing they are too...! i thought this was supposed to be a clean site! is drugsy behind urinal pooping???
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Friday, November 22, 2002 at 18:32:25 (EST)

oh dear. heh. is that how the smack is gonna go down?
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj - Friday, November 22, 2002 at 18:31:09 (EST)

da, jerz, specifically patriots 38 vikings 10
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, November 22, 2002 at 18:24:46 (EST)

my boyfriend is GOING to that game. you're talking about the patriots, right?
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj - Friday, November 22, 2002 at 18:19:52 (EST)

http://www.goatse.cx/
a rather rude lurker
USA - Friday, November 22, 2002 at 17:08:20 (EST)

I'm out <<<((({{{}}})))>>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, November 22, 2002 at 17:04:36 (EST)

The Vikings AND the Townies shall triumph as will soon become clear. Didn't find anything extensive on the RISDC crisis. I'll check on the other side of the weekend.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, November 22, 2002 at 16:53:23 (EST)

All the Credit Unions in the state were bankrupted by that bastard. Everybody in my family had money tied up for a year (8 of us) and one brother lost a good size chunk. Mollicone was on the lamb for a long time and once he made a deal with the mob so he wouldn't end up dead, he turned himself in. When he got out of jail last year they actually were trying to get him w**k in a bank. I'll poke round quick for a story on the whole set up.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, November 22, 2002 at 16:37:09 (EST)

jerz, he did his time and is now getting paid minimum wage somewhere and "paying off" his multi-million dollar "debt to society". i shoulda capped his ass this morning.
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, November 22, 2002 at 16:32:03 (EST)

boris feel much better. proc, k-mart is having a sale on crying towels. best get a few dozen for sunday AND thursday. just trying to help. i recommend the Martha Stewart Everyday line. i hear they're super-absorbent. please save a towel for MJ for next friday's matinee ass-kick too. nice weekend all.
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, November 22, 2002 at 16:30:31 (EST)

that's some story, that mollicone guy...whatever happened???
jerzy grrrl¨
jc, nj USA - Friday, November 22, 2002 at 16:28:20 (EST)

hey don. blow me.
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, November 22, 2002 at 16:06:50 (EST)

does the Jerry Cantrell band really have 3 guitarists? a good w/e to all lurkers and to all lurkers, a good w/e...
a random tapeworm
USA - Friday, November 22, 2002 at 15:38:07 (EST)

California Crunch is that like y'know like Cherry Garcia man?
Ben not Jerry
USA - Friday, November 22, 2002 at 15:28:05 (EST)

"The California crunch really is the result of not enough power-generating plants and then not enough power to power the power of generating plants."ÑInterview with the New York Times, Jan. 14, 2001
Moe (en)Ron
USA - Friday, November 22, 2002 at 15:26:46 (EST)

Hey Don, are you having some sort of romantic tryst with Puppy Dog? I didn't know you were into that Annie Sprinkle bit.
A Witness Protection Program Lurker
USA - Friday, November 22, 2002 at 14:43:38 (EST)

Do all you ass drips miss me? I'm outta town all week. Me and the puppy dog "out of town".
Don
Johnston, USA - Friday, November 22, 2002 at 14:38:37 (EST)

The Zamboni, she is my mistress. Why I cried when I went to the hockey hall of fame in toronto and saw the first zamboni ever. No shit
Sluggo
USA - Friday, November 22, 2002 at 14:36:45 (EST)

Zambonies as a Viagra substitute? and people say I have a twisted sense of sexuality
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, November 22, 2002 at 13:33:06 (EST)

sometimes boris think that boris was placed on this earth just to give don a WICKED boner.
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, November 22, 2002 at 13:05:24 (EST)

DAMN IT! They passed me over on the Zamboni handout waiting list again. Just cuz I don't have a rink I don't think I should be deprived of a Zamboni. It's obviously a case of prejudice against me. I got Canuk roots, I'm part injun ya know New Brunswick stylee.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, November 22, 2002 at 13:01:19 (EST)

The 7,500th Zamboni will be delivered to an arena in Thorburn, Nova Scotia on Nov. 26, thanks to a gift from the NHL Players' Association "Goals & Dreams" fund. This will be the 40th Zamboni the NHLPA had donated since the fund was established in 1999, and Hall of Famer and Chairman of the fund Mike Gartner will join Zamboni Company executive vice president Frank Zamboni in delivering the machine.
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, November 22, 2002 at 12:54:22 (EST)

the shrubbery is getting pretty thick around here. Don't the BSTC got some Herbicide to snuff out that small growth?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, November 22, 2002 at 12:22:40 (EST)

"The woman who knew that I had dyslexiaÑI never interviewed her."ÑOrange, Calif., Sept. 15, 2000
Moe (en)Ron
USA - Friday, November 22, 2002 at 12:17:45 (EST)

"I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California."ÑIn Los Angeles as quoted by the Los Angeles Times, April 8, 2000
Moe (en)Ron
USA - Friday, November 22, 2002 at 11