lurkives 01 - 20 nov 02

This lurkive brought to you by

Mornin' lurkophites, today's expedition into transition hell is phone training. These bozos think they're gonna chain me to a headset all day when my phone only rings 3-4 times a day. I can't wait to hear the lecture a month from now when the Cendant overseer sees that my phone is only turned on 10 minutes a day. BTW from here on in I'll be referring to Cendant as Stepford Mortgage Co. It's just one of those legal truth in advertising things.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 08:54:02 (EST)

what is the deal with people giving you the finger, MJ®? i just woke up and can't get back to sleep. ugh, i fucking hate this shit.
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 01:53:54 (EST)

I think you're a drug addict, Drugsy
Judge Mental
USA - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 23:05:34 (EST)

That MJ bitch don't know nuthin' bout that dude in the flipoff position. I know for a fact it's that Chil fuck.
Drugsy
USA - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 22:57:04 (EST)

Im BACK (((___)))!!!!<<<<>???
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 18:11:46 (EST)

I'm out[[[{{{(((<<<>>>)))}}}]]]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 17:04:54 (EST)

Another auspicious number passes through the bowels of the LURK!
LURK #13,333
USA - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 17:03:47 (EST)

Thank the goddess that our MJ is only a fraction as wacked out as that "other" MJ.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 17:01:59 (EST)

he is the freak of all freaks no if, ands, or infant butts about it. That's supposedly his kid he was dangling off the balcony by one hand.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 16:58:15 (EST)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! WTF?!!? http://www.cnn.com/2002/SHOWBIZ/11/19/jackson.baby.reut/index.html
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 16:53:24 (EST)

if that's not Monch's twisted mug, my tapeworm must be actin' up...
Tapeworm Willy
USA - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 16:38:32 (EST)

send me boris' email too. just for the hell of it. heh.
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 16:32:29 (EST)

send me the e-mail address before your oversized caboose hits the treadmill.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 16:00:19 (EST)

This fat slobs outta here. Will thou be able to lurk withoust me?
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 15:55:53 (EST)

Hey who wants to see me go the gym now and try and shake some offa this fuckin' caboose?
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 15:52:37 (EST)

send me boris' e-mail address I'll send it right along.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 15:49:21 (EST)

Sorry to bust on youse Boris. I can't resist kicking a man when he's deathly ill. What, exactly, ARE we dealing with...? An Proc, you got to send that .wav to Boris. He the man that knows how to do that shit.
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 15:44:33 (EST)

i wish, MJ, i wish. welcome back willy you fuck. whoops, there goes the mood swing. 3 more days of this shit.
boris
ukrainus, - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 15:38:08 (EST)

If willy is refering to the skinny twisted face in the center I was thinking the same thing.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 15:24:22 (EST)

Willy, that is so funny you think that's Monch in that pic. Wait'll I tell him. It's actually a damn German!
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 15:19:43 (EST)

What, is everybody W#@KING or what.
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 15:17:30 (EST)

Boris on his steroids

USA - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 14:43:17 (EST)

PM I am, but BM and BS is what I iz full of
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 13:55:05 (EST)

greetings PM Proc...or is it BM?
T. Willy
USA - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 13:38:53 (EST)

word to the willy... and I must agree the current edition of popular science is particularly stroke worthy
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 13:30:02 (EST)

and a big 'un to the girl from jersey
T. Willy
USA - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 13:21:42 (EST)

that word was TO the lurk...Monchi with bird/smirk up front/center...brilliant
Tapeworm Willy
USA - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 13:20:32 (EST)

The latest issue of Popular Science is really great to jerk off to!
Geek Lurker
USA - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 13:15:36 (EST)

err...Jerzy...well err... I was actually referrin' to WIlly, but I'm stoked you're here, of course. Of course I am...we missed you yesterday.
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 13:13:47 (EST)

YES MJ®!!! it's ME!!!!! jerzy grrrl®
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 13:11:23 (EST)

Well well well. Look who decided to grace us with their presence...
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 13:04:27 (EST)

WILLY!!! MY LONG LOST WILLY!!!! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH DARLING!!!
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 12:49:27 (EST)

word the LURK and all lurkers therein
Tapeworm Willy
USA - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 12:44:58 (EST)

my brother is a big, blase freak - i was there, cooking in a restaurant (different restaurant) during the last IMF conference and they were throwing malatov coctails in the streets and he was all, "it's no big deal!". their restaurant is in prague 2 which is near the action, but not on any super main streets, so they're probably fine. his place is also got a czech front man, and since they tend to go after big banks and obviously american establishments like good ol' kfc and mickey d's. they don't live anywhere close to the center though.
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 12:44:36 (EST)

That worm Chaffee voted for the Homeland Securi-nazi Bill. I think he may be in need of a terse firing. I did send him a painfully eloquent kick-in-the-teeth e-mail. Should be interesting to see what kinda dribble he sends back to excuse himself for sucking at the republican teat.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 12:27:27 (EST)

hey jerzy, looks like things are really gonna be hopping for the summit in Prague. They're boarding up a lot of stores and restaurants. Is your bro close enuf to the action to be locking up shop?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 12:04:59 (EST)

don't worry bout me I'm a friggin revolutionary at heart. I've been w**king in the belly of the beast just to get the sheepskin. I'm almost done with the associates and that'll be enuf for me to blow this clambake. Only thing I'll miss from here is the 7 minute commute and the Halloween smoke show.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 11:13:19 (EST)

Cheer up, Prime Minister.
Eomer
Riddermark, Rohan - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 10:22:47 (EST)

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
Ben Franklin
USA - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 10:20:41 (EST)

The President's analyst has left for that couch in the sky. James Coburn will always be In Like Flint in my book, but he's performed The Great Escape from this mortal coil.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 09:06:31 (EST)

It smells like a gulag, looks like a gulag, walks like a gulag, quacks like a gulag... that seems to be the consensus talk round the building today. My call is two years and the Megabank Co sign outside will be pulled for a razor-ribbon laced Cendant sign. I think it may be time to brush up on my corporate sabotage.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 08:45:32 (EST)

boris going have bad week from here out so have fun lurkites...boris also on steroids this week, making boris even more stoopyloopy than usual, da. yes BSTC, it loads way faster. but spooge that ran down my monitor smells like the bed after a dwarf orgy with oprah. later all...
boris
ukrainus, - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 07:39:55 (EST)

wow, fifteen minutes jerz, am extremely jealous. door-to-door i'm maybe 80 one way and 90 coming home, and that's just in stupid fucking rhode island. that rocks!
boris
ukrainus, - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 07:32:42 (EST)

aw, lusty is such a sweet lurker. sorry i was mia yesterday but we moved to our new office space so i was actually busy unpacking and getting settled. the upside is that i have only a brisk 15 minute walk to get to work now, the downside is that i no longer will be in manhattan every day. i dig the energy of the city, man. MJ® i owe you a big bunch of finger diarhea, don't i? i haven't forgotten!
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 07:18:59 (EST)

ummm...no man, i don't think i know that dude. he's ripped and all and, and he may have been in the lemonheads but, aww....ummm....i forget dude...that was, like, so long ago dude...
Evan Dando
Boston, - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 05:45:03 (EST)

HAHAHAHAHA! Little Timmy with the lemon on his fucking face and the chil tattoo. HAHAHAHAHA! I just spit my geritol on my fuckin monitor!
MJ®
USA - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 22:55:24 (EST)

HE'S AFTER ME!!!
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 21:32:15 (EST)

Boris, your eyes are fine. He is getting bigger in girth yet smaller in kilobytes. He "loaded" slow like mayo on a cold day. Does he "load" faster for you now?
BSTC
USA - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 20:08:32 (EST)

are the eyes finally going or is the main page evil flying guy getting bigger? is he coming after me? SHIT!
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 19:52:03 (EST)

A day without Jerzy is like a day without sunshine.
Lusty Lurker
USA - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 18:06:28 (EST)

Hey LEAVE already
ASS
USA - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 17:22:28 (EST)

Didn't I leave already?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 17:04:24 (EST)

In case you TOO rosy of a day... http://www.deathclock.com/
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 17:03:50 (EST)

What am I still doing here? I'm out[[[{{{((()))}}}]]]~~~~~~~~
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 17:01:05 (EST)

I've got my eye on you... and my other eye on YOU!
Marty Feldman
USA - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 16:55:00 (EST)

Alright who's the brains of this operation?
another mindless minion
USA - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 16:52:27 (EST)

So what if I took the brain. Marty Feldman stole mine!
Abby Normal
- Monday, November 18, 2002 at 16:38:39 (EST)

Baader-Meinhof Gang brains vanish
The Lurk Headline Of The Day
USA - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 16:36:56 (EST)

Chil is gonna be SO PISSED when he sees what you did to is picture. He has much more definition in his quads than that. Wait a minute, are we talking about Timmy or that Blue guy?
MJ®
USA - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 16:12:46 (EST)

What is with this guys legs? Don't ANYBODY.. EVER.. tell me that yoga is healthy for you again.
Blue Man Pretzel
USA - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 15:49:13 (EST)

I think timmy just soured my taste for Del's for life.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 15:29:08 (EST)

Just came back from "The Big Meeting". Megabank Co. is definitely in the process of selling us a Mega-snowjob. Felt like I was listening to Wormtongue feed us the party line. He kept emphasizing the PARTY part, but made it clear that there's a new sheriff in town and he's drawing the LINEs we better not think about crossing. This square peg sees the round hole looking much more sphincter like from here on in. Something WICKED this way comes (and I don't mean wicked like they say in Pawtucket). Heil Cendant (not!)
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 15:27:13 (EST)

Del has a Chil tatty?
stupid guy
- Monday, November 18, 2002 at 15:23:24 (EST)

chil has a Del's tatty?
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 14:36:07 (EST)

My clients lawyer will be calling you for copywritten tattoo infringement
Chil's manager
USA - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 13:49:41 (EST)

I haven't heard that much low end since the last Benny Sizzler concert.
MJ®
USA - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 13:48:39 (EST)

http://www.ifrance.com/ultravomit/lyrics.htm
Pew King
USA - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 12:22:46 (EST)

With the holidays coming up I was recalling my last family reunion. It's always such a gas when we all get together. http://www.sillyhumor.com/cave/index.html
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 11:40:47 (EST)

I got a little tattoo this weekend, but I can't figure out how to stop him from saying "DA PLANE DA PLANE"
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 11:26:35 (EST)

A real man...Hey I got a tattoo this weekend too! I got a stretchmark chasing a boil on my ass! Wanna see it?
MJ®
USA - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 11:01:02 (EST)

There's no place like this place anywhere near this place so this must be the place.... right?
a random cliche lurker
USA - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 10:54:20 (EST)

Mein Kamf!
Little Timmy
USA - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 10:02:55 (EST)

regarding that last link, it's nice that jose theodork has a backup career. along the same lines, some hockey writer had a good line mentioning the great year perreault is having...."in Montreal it's Widespread Yanic". pretty good one. but we'll see next friday at high noon.
boris
theodore, - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 09:43:38 (EST)

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&cid=817&ncid=757&e=10&u=/ap/20021118/ap_on_fe_st/rock_paper_scissors
Sporting News Bulliten
USA - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 09:20:36 (EST)

BTW, the BS fruit sponsorship is a coup fr the advert dept. and I didn't know that Timmy had a passport. I guess those germans will let anybody over the border since the wall came down.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 08:48:20 (EST)

Glad to see my camel toe find was met with universal approval. My Vikes rule and they've promised not to gloat when they send the Brady Bunch packing, however the Townies have made no such promise. Maybe Camel Toe Annie can supply the lala boys with some cougar models so they can impress their boyfriends with their cleavage.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 08:44:51 (EST)

proc, let me be the first to congratulate your vikings. very weird how favre turns into a piece of old pasta in that field. unfortunately you now have two crushing defeats staring you in the face this week, in foxboro and at pierce field. oh well there's always hockey.
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 07:52:01 (EST)

YEAH! And instead of calling it "Del's" we call it "Smell's"!
Genius Lurker
USA - Sunday, November 17, 2002 at 22:47:05 (EST)

Hey the Opinionated Lurker gave me an idea! What if you sprinkle jimmies on our new BS Fresh Fruit product? It's already the color of Del's, a refreshing yellow...so wouldn't that make it yellow-and-brown yummylicious??
Taste Test Guy
The Lab, - Sunday, November 17, 2002 at 21:02:42 (EST)

Any clue as to why a white guy, runnin' his mouth incessantly, yammerin' on and on about this that and the other thing, with a "let me tell you this and a let me tell you that" rap is entertainment? If I wanted that shit I'd turn on the 700 Club for free.
Opinionated Lurker
USA - Sunday, November 17, 2002 at 12:36:09 (EST)

Wolves kick ass. I'm a fan of a stupidly long series by a guy named Robert Jordan called "Wheel of Time" and he seems to believe humans have always been closer to actually communicating with wolves than any other animal (dogs, monkeys, dolphins, whales, bass players). Just found out he's gonna be in Cambridge in January and it's a Saturday so I can actually go. Never been to an author signing but I've spent *so* many goddam hours reading his shit the least he can do is sign the new one.
boris
ukrainus, - Sunday, November 17, 2002 at 12:27:20 (EST)

ah, well, it's a wolf, drawn in a Japanese style, running forward. there are a couple of cherry blossoms to add some color as well. i dig wolves because they symbolize family, teaching, co-operation, insight, stealth, strength, leadership, loyalty, freedom, individuality, hidden wisdom, sharing of knowledge and wisdom, cunningness, hunting, seeking, introspection, listening, magic, and dreams. and cherry blossoms represent new beginnings and signals the end of winter and the arrival of spring. also, ephemeral beauty, and inevitable change and the transience of life.
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Sunday, November 17, 2002 at 08:37:23 (EST)

whadya get?!
MJ®
USA - Saturday, November 16, 2002 at 23:36:48 (EST)

hi everyone! i got new ink today! yay! YAY I SAID. is that koho as in the salmon? so confused....
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Saturday, November 16, 2002 at 21:18:52 (EST)

FROM MY COLD DEAD DEPENDS
Charlton Heston
USA - Saturday, November 16, 2002 at 14:40:42 (EST)

Boris my son you have repented well. I hope you have learned your lesson, and what a painful lesson it was to watch. You may resume your lurk, but remember, Charlton Heston is watching you.
BS Spiritual Group LLC
USA - Saturday, November 16, 2002 at 13:30:20 (EST)

Not sure WHAT the hell that is. It does kinda smell like Beluga caviar, yeah, but *I'M* not gonna eat it...YOU eat it...
The Squeteague
Somewhere off Conimicut Point, - Saturday, November 16, 2002 at 12:37:21 (EST)

Nothing much to report about that death-by-KoHo incident. We found a one-way bus ticket to North Station in his pocket. Oh, and that smelly brown stuff on the end of the stick? Yeah, you were right...that IS what it was. What a fuckin' freak THIS guy must've been.
Coroner's Assistant
Warwick, - Saturday, November 16, 2002 at 12:33:07 (EST)

Wow. Been a long time since we had a guy kill himself by falling on his own sword. Guess this one couldn't find a sword though. But still...using a KoHo??!!?? That HAD to fuckin' hurt. We better just dump the body in the water at Conimicut. No one will miss him. Looks like a goddam foreigner anyway.
The Warwick Coroner
Warwick, RI - Saturday, November 16, 2002 at 12:22:56 (EST)

The Montreal Canadiens are much better than the Boston Bruins.
boris
ukrainus, - Saturday, November 16, 2002 at 12:16:16 (EST)

Jose Theodore is the best goalie in the NHL.
boris
ukrainus, - Saturday, November 16, 2002 at 12:14:43 (EST)

ok here is my first penalty log: Arsenal 3 Tottenham 0. that should fuckin' count for at least three, da.
boris
ukrainus, - Saturday, November 16, 2002 at 12:09:45 (EST)

wait a minute. benny sizzler is a BAND?!!? WHAT THE FUCK?!!!?!?!???!?!?
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Saturday, November 16, 2002 at 11:07:28 (EST)

Boris has broken the Lurker's Code by actually mentioning the band's name in reference to music. Therefore he shall be fined 3 logs and forced to wear a Habs sweater to the Fleet Center.
Benny Sizzler
Basement, RI USA - Saturday, November 16, 2002 at 10:53:30 (EST)

boris is willing to risk actually talking about the band known as Benny Sizzler, just to say that "Good'n'Loose" fuckin' rips. heap big drums, da. boris like.
boris
ukrainus, - Saturday, November 16, 2002 at 10:04:40 (EST)

well in that case.....THANKS dave the fag!
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Saturday, November 16, 2002 at 09:03:52 (EST)

Anyway, we gots to thank Dave tha Fag for that camel toe find. Canada comes thru again.
BOBBY TRENDY
USA - Friday, November 15, 2002 at 21:18:30 (EST)

word, boris. i had to save it. it is perfect beyond all perfection. oh yeah.
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj - Friday, November 15, 2002 at 19:59:31 (EST)

that camel toe page is the funniest thing i have ever seen on the web ever. oh my god. i am soooo not worthy.
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, November 15, 2002 at 18:38:37 (EST)

carey is a girl, she wore skintight clothes and a cowboy hat. IS bobby trendy for real?!!? oh, dear MJ®....go HERE!!!!! http://www.bobbytrendy.com/
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Friday, November 15, 2002 at 18:28:28 (EST)

That would have been laughs to be Bobby Trendy. How'd he pull it off? And is Bobby trendy for real?
MJ®
USA - Friday, November 15, 2002 at 18:07:52 (EST)

er..i'm a dope. didn't notice the PAST tense there, MJ®. it was a ver' funny cosutme - suger was anna, her b/f roe was kimmy, another friend, carey was bobby trendy, and another friend was howard stern (the lawyer).
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Friday, November 15, 2002 at 17:35:16 (EST)

er...Sugarpie!
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Friday, November 15, 2002 at 17:30:30 (EST)

I want to be Sugerpie!
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Friday, November 15, 2002 at 17:30:10 (EST)

I wanted to be Kimmy!
MJ®
USA - Friday, November 15, 2002 at 17:26:08 (EST)

Now that I've left my camel droppings it's time for me to vamoose. Have a large weekend all, I'm out[[[{{{((()))}}}]]]~~~~~~~~~~~
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, November 15, 2002 at 17:00:38 (EST)

I got ya camel toe right here!(grabbing crotch)
Camel Toe Annie Says Click Here
The Great Divide, USA - Friday, November 15, 2002 at 16:30:14 (EST)

my friend, suger (and no that isn't mispelled) went as anna nicole smith for halloween. she wore a powder blue track suit that was a few sizes too small so she had a camel toe and she kept telling people not to read her lips. it was hilarious.
jerzy grrrl® <shot of estrogen@into the lurk.com>
jc, nj USA - Friday, November 15, 2002 at 15:41:13 (EST)

SPALLCHECK!!!! That's CAMEL TOE
MJ®
USA - Friday, November 15, 2002 at 15:31:48 (EST)

HAHAHAHAHA the THONG on the birdie! HAHAHA! Hi Jerzy. Glad you're here. It was getting a little boy heavy. Thank God Dave signed on. Dave, I'm furiously looking for that camel two link.
MJ®
USA - Friday, November 15, 2002 at 15:30:59 (EST)

ok folks, everyone needs to bug gail to see the camel toe.........i had it but i lost it. she might still have it, just hope that she does i am sure she will be happy to share.........thanks y'all
dave the canadian fag <david@glhs.ca>
USA - Friday, November 15, 2002 at 14:54:24 (EST)

It took me six weeks to find this lovely "Prime Minister" model. Have a nice weekend Lurkers, I have to go pick my wedgie.
The Parrot
- Friday, November 15, 2002 at 14:43:30 (EST)

It's asshalted... as in- My asshalted when the prick in front of me came to an abrupt stop.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, November 15, 2002 at 14:34:02 (EST)

wait. now neither spelling looks correct and i'm too damn tired to look it up. help?
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Friday, November 15, 2002 at 14:30:28 (EST)

er...that's ASSAULTED...and no ASS jokes, dammit.
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Friday, November 15, 2002 at 14:26:54 (EST)

jesus god! i come here for peace and relaxation and instead get asaulted by the thought of proctor in a speedo! ugh. puke. i feel ill! i've been packing all morning - gonna move to our permanent home over the weekend...hopefully my system won't be all wonky when i get there.
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Friday, November 15, 2002 at 14:25:11 (EST)

No they're video clips from my last vacation. One look of me in a speedo and those bank execs will be begging for mercy. And I ain't likely to be in a merciful mood. The 5 day waiting period was for some special speedo enhancement editing that I ordered.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, November 15, 2002 at 13:38:42 (EST)

Dear Mr. Minister, we're certain you meant HAIR CLIPS of the decorative variety.
The Monitor
USA - Friday, November 15, 2002 at 12:33:20 (EST)

We just had a two hour meeting which told me nothing except that they haven't decided whether my job will exist in the new system or not. Looks like the truth will finally be spilled on Monday. I believe my 5 day waiting period will be over before then so if I'm not happy I should be fully loaded with spare clips handy to express my displeasure.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, November 15, 2002 at 12:20:09 (EST)

I'm more the Yul Brenner type when it comes to books. I wanna dictate my whims in a surly tone and then in my strongest pharaonic voice say "SO LET IT BE WRITTEN! SO LET IT BE DONE!"
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, November 15, 2002 at 12:14:31 (EST)

Book 'em Dano
5-O Wannabe
USA - Friday, November 15, 2002 at 12:08:46 (EST)

Punk rock ruined my life. So did Benny Sizzler. Long live Christian punk.
New Found Glory Hole
USA - Friday, November 15, 2002 at 11:55:34 (EST)

a real man... I like to have books read to me. Preferably biographies about rockstars.
MJ®
USA - Friday, November 15, 2002 at 10:42:09 (EST)

"my cousin, my gastroenterologist" made fun of the black & gold (not to be confused with yellow & brown). thought that one was ok even if the Slapshot stagehand obviously hated it.
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, November 15, 2002 at 10:14:34 (EST)

Books. Books? Whats the matter, your t.v. broke?
Sluggo
USA - Friday, November 15, 2002 at 09:50:29 (EST)

Mark Leyner,Tetherballs of Bougainville. Get it. Read it. NOW!
Don
Johnstonia, USA - Friday, November 15, 2002 at 09:48:27 (EST)

I've been feeling a bit Entish all week. It's good to see that Shadowfax has kept himself busy all these centuries. Maybe Shadowfax and The Cow Flop Doo-Woppers could open up for the boys, although THAT would be a hard act to follow.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, November 15, 2002 at 08:47:51 (EST)

I should be sleeping. In fact I'm ALMOST sleeping anyway. I gonna put a suggestion in the suggestion box that Megabank Co install pillows at our desks and make footsy pajamas prefered office wear to encourage a more relaxed atmosphere.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, November 15, 2002 at 08:29:15 (EST)

won't get into the author listing for fear of being mocked by don who is obviously in a bad humoUr other than saying i own a marquez t-shirt. and proc....two towers.....Ents. fuckin' ENTS!!! i also found out what Shadowfax does on weekends, da.

Happy Goddam Friday, Lurkites.
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, November 15, 2002 at 08:24:35 (EST)

I meant to say Kick Me
MJ®
USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 21:58:15 (EST)

Hey Proctor, don't think that that lack of shows comment went unnoticed. I'm a fucking rockstar. I don't need no shows. Hell, I don't need this band. I'm gonna come down and hand deliver Jerzy's package and they are going to have a ticker tape parade for me in that fucking city.
MJ®
USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 21:44:19 (EST)

Fuck you Blingo
Bingo
USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 21:36:23 (EST)

Bennys Sizzler is shite.
Blingo
USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 20:36:58 (EST)

Little Lotta and Dot Polka. Now that was reading material.
Literary Midget
USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 18:24:20 (EST)

Listen all you literary white bread snobs. Are those your favorite books or are those what your teachers of distinct euroPEON dissent old you your favoUrite books are? The August 1982 issue of Thrasher with Jay Adams is the only piece of literature worth it's tits.
Don "Stuffed Shirt"
Johnston, USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 17:35:09 (EST)

I think we should adopt that guy as the lurk version of Kilroy. Should we have a contest to name him or just go with something simple like Lurkroy, Lurk-On, or Lurk-It?well I'm out[[[{{{((()))}}}]]]~~~~~~~~~
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 17:03:22 (EST)

2 fingers up for the lurk!
‹^› ‹(•¿•)› ‹^›
USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 16:59:54 (EST)

‹^› ‹(•¿•)› ‹^›
huh¿
USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 16:56:42 (EST)

2 funny bushisms... http://www.mopaul.com/images/feloniousmonk.jpg AND... http://www.mopaul.com/images/oooo.jpg
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 16:54:59 (EST)

That saves me on shipping and I still see nothing listed under shows so......
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 16:40:27 (EST)

i'll only accept a package from ri if it's hand delivered by MJ®. she IS a rockstar, you know. i want to make all of my neighbors jealous.
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 16:33:36 (EST)

I'll kick in some caserla... I think a grinder would probably get ruined squeezing it through the mail slot.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 16:22:05 (EST)

hey you assdrips. a real man just signed on and for one post only. I don't have time for you mere lurkers. The meat awaits. Anyway. Glad to see Jrz is back to her old feisty self. Yeah, I say we send her a care package full of lil' Rhody treats. I'll throw in the stuffed quahogs
MJ®
USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 16:05:35 (EST)

Ease up jerzy, I just figured I'd provide a venting target (guess I succeeded). We'll have to make you a care package of these local delights. Although letting the fumes of those foods blend in a closed container may, I repeat JUST may cause an explosion in transit. God knows they can often cause intestinal explosions of various sorts. WHAT SAY LURKERS? Shall we put together a Rhody Port-a-Pack of goodies for jerzy?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 15:40:58 (EST)

as for grinders, i have never had one of those either. i don't know where i picked up that they were toasted, guess they're not. i'm wrong, so sue me. there, do you feel better proctor? you are right and i am wrong - you win!
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 15:30:01 (EST)

but not knowing is not denying their existence proctor. i just don't know what they are. see?
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 15:25:46 (EST)

I'd just like to let you all know that I'll be lapdancing at The Foxy Lady this evening. And I WILL be toasted...
The Grinder
USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 15:24:36 (EST)

BTW grinders usually AREN'T toasted.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 15:22:41 (EST)

After you sift through the cursing I believe the key phrase is "i DON'T know what the other stuff is."
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 15:16:01 (EST)

damn! what the fuck did i do to get pummeled by You People?! i do so know what jimmies are - they're those gross candy sprinkles you put on ice cream - either chocolate or rainbow ususally. a jimmy is ALSO a truck. a grinder is a toasted sandwich. i DON'T know what the other stuff is. you punkassbitchmotorscooters!!! don't make me hafta come up and learn you some manners./ jerzy grrrl/ jc, nj USA - Monday, August 12, 2002 at 06:28:03 (EDT)
EXHIBIT B
USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 15:12:04 (EST)

I bet jerzy don't know from nothing about quahogs neither and there is just no way she she could tell blade meat from caserla... I betcha!!/ Proctor's gamble/ rumfud, ri USA - Friday, August 09, 2002 at 16:36:41 (EDT)
EXHIBIT A
USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 15:11:06 (EST)

what are you talking about proctor? in denial?! you're off of your nut!
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 15:03:37 (EST)

remeber? SPALLCHECK! sheesh I'm slipping
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 15:02:59 (EST)

I seem to remeber jerzy being in denial about the existence of these foods ...Awful Awfuls, Del's lemonade, stuffies, cabinets, johnnycakes, doughboys, clam cakes, and coffee milk... they forgot to mention blade meat sandwiches though.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 14:57:23 (EST)

...At Olneyville New York System in Providence — a gritty, old-school lunch counter that Mr. Chiaro cites as the state's definitive hot wiener emporium — the supersoft bun, tender frank and mild sauce meld into an appealing mass of sloppy goodness. ... the whole point of hot wieners was to keep the experience "as low grade as possible."
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 14:53:08 (EST)

...Griddle men respond to these large orders by lining up a series of buns on one extended forearm and then adding the franks and dressings with their free hand, usually in a quick, mesmerizingly ritualistic fashion. This prep method, sometimes called "up the arm," is the essence of the New York System.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 14:50:34 (EST)

...Counter clerks apply mustard, chopped raw onions, celery salt and the true hallmark of hot wieners: a greasy ground-beef sauce that's not quite chili, not quite gravy, distinct unto itself.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 14:49:41 (EST)

Dear Jerzy, I too was about to post my favorite reading material when I became faint from the sight of Jacko and had to retire to my Benny chamber to recoop.
Ole Lady Shroeder
USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 14:40:04 (EST)

Hey I was about to post the book shit when boris began shoving animal crackers up his nose, so don't get yer panties in a bind. You know I've ALWAYS got something endearing to say to you jerzy.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 14:33:54 (EST)

On the book tip, I just finished The Lord Of The Rings trilogy for the 12th or 15th time. So I'm thoroughly stoked for The Two Towerscoming out next month. Man there's gonna be some serious orc dismemberment going on in that one. I go for classics mostly, Dickens, Wolfe, Vonnegut, Eco, Melville, and y'know Yeats and Joyce are de rigueur in my eyes.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 14:29:23 (EST)

i guess NONE of you are REAL readers. punk ass bitch anal blood farts! no really, i LIKE being ignored. fuck alls of yas.
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 14:24:25 (EST)

you might have to log in to read this, but it's all about your little state: "The Big Flavors of Little Rhode Island" http://www.nytimes.com/2002/11/13/dining/13RHOD.html
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 14:23:36 (EST)

where are we getting shoved? well, i guess it's better than being up the gloved one's ass again. it WOULD have been nice if we coulda cleaned up in between though
jacko's animal crackers
USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 14:03:28 (EST)

Uh-oh, I'm gonna have to get my parrot checked for STDs ain't I.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 13:46:03 (EST)

boris could fit every animal in jacko's zoo in this nose, with plenty of space left over for his love slave
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 13:21:23 (EST)

HAHAHAHA you and your choco-milk -filled nose rot. Wait a minute, that's JACKO-filled nose, ain't it? HAHAHAHA
Little Timmy
USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 13:04:22 (EST)

The body builder and the built face, kinda poetic in a warped benny way.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 12:56:02 (EST)

timmy, you suck. you fucking suck. you just made me shoot goddam chocolate goddam milk out my goddam nose. you suck.
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 12:00:05 (EST)

Hi!
Little Jacko
Meat Clever, Mississippi USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 11:25:11 (EST)

oh, i also really dig pablo neruda, wb yeats, petronius, homer, mlk fisher, dorothy parker...
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 11:11:55 (EST)

okay. let's list all time favorite books. me: unbearable lightness of being, milan kundera, love in time of cholera, gabriel garcia marquez, like water for chocolate, laura esquivel, i also am a huge fan of william gibson, phillip k. dick, john irving, amy tan, francesca lia block, james joyce, kurt vonnegut, anthony burgess...um, um, that's all that's coming to mind right now.....
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 11:05:57 (EST)

such a literate goddam lurk. mad uppenzees for the HG Wells ref there Drugsy...that book scared the crap out of me when i first read it...so did the simpsons episode. should we call you Doctor Drugsy or what... ; )
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 10:49:55 (EST)

Who were the burger slaves amongst us? Is this another unearthed early recording of a certain singer?... http://www.sherm.20megsfree.com/burgerking.swf
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 10:42:30 (EST)

i highly recommend the new johnny cash cd. yes. very much, i do.
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 10:31:58 (EST)

Last time I saw a mug like that I was making a "delivery" to a Dr. Moreau.
Drugsy
USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 10:15:09 (EST)

Appeal? Sorry Mr Jackson I thought you wanted a skin PEEL not skin appeal.
a certain surgeon
USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 10:14:20 (EST)

i agree proc, but then he'd lose that lovely Diana Ross appeal. hey do you know whether her daughter is still hanging around prov? last i saw she'd done some CAV stuff but that was a while back.

Oh and BTW have a nice day and BENNY SIZZLER KICKS MUCH BUTT!!!
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 10:08:13 (EST)

There's a pecker joke in there somewhere... jerzy I don't think ya can even call that a nose anymore. It's just a hunk-o-scartissue clinging precariously to his skull. He would probably look more human if he just got rid of the "skin" completely and was just the bare skull.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 09:25:09 (EST)

his nose? kinda looks like the morning after a night of very rough sex with proctor's parrot.
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 09:10:38 (EST)

what the HELL is that on the end of his nose?! jesus, well, i guess i don't need any caffeine this morning. thanks boris. methinks me hormones are kicking in to make me feel melancholy, MJ®...plus it's been so gloomy for so many days - finally we have sunshine today, thank goodness!
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 09:01:35 (EST)

I think it's time the gloved one became the masked one.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 08:50:39 (EST)

i really hate starting everybody's morning off like this.
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 08:07:19 (EST)

johnny cash rules. my old man had a buncha his vinyl when i was little. real little. knew all words to "Folsom.." and "Ring.." and "Orange Blossom.." and "I Walk the Line" before every other song except maybe Happy Birthday. da.
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 08:00:06 (EST)

Johnny Cash is my pick-me-up. Even better than a poor mans speed ball.
Drugsy
USA - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 00:21:19 (EST)

Take a whiff of this WMD
The Minkey
USA - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 23:23:40 (EST)

Let me assure you, my good friends, that I, Chief Inspector Clouseau of the Surete, will make sure that this madman, this...this...Sodom person...has no poupons of mass destruction. i have it on very good authority that while this madman has several metric tons of mustard gas, he has absolutely no mustard. therefore using my superior reasoning skills, he can in fact have no poupons of mass desctruction. the world is once again safe, especially for little french dogs that make the poopoo on my front doorstep. i bid you farewell for now. adieu.
Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau
Paris, France - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 21:45:19 (EST)

a Slapshot t-shirt in germany. an obvious mormon. mean jozeph would slap the spit out of his mouth 'til he cried like ricky martin watching 'Golden Girls'. i bet that guy knows some of don's friends from federal heil section of prov..
boris
ukrainus, - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 18:24:35 (EST)

I gots ta leave you bloodfarts in the lurk. I have a Econ final tonight. I'm out[[[{{{((()))}}}]]]~~~~~~~~~~
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 17:04:19 (EST)

Boris, that Slapshot shirt on that dude in the homepage photo is EXTRA scary because that shot is from a gig in Germany.
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 16:58:51 (EST)

Listen all you anal bloodfarts. MJ's back to stir some shit. I'll show you my merkin if you show me yours. Why so sad Jerzy?
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 16:57:35 (EST)

I kinda fancy the little merkin number there too. I just found the closest CS. Get this, it's a newly forming one just south of Wormtown (jerzy, that's localese for Worcester). I signed on with that group, but I like their "you may already be a member" slogan. I might just have to shitstart my own variation locally. I think i could find a few cohorts between the AS220 crowd and the RISDoid castoffs that I know.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 16:46:03 (EST)

i TOLD you. as soon as i heard about them, i thought of YOU. hirsute fuckwad that you are, proctor. tee, hee!
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 16:28:11 (EST)

Cacaphony Society sounds like my kinda people. I could check out the national site, but I got a very determined ACCESS DENIED for the Brooklyn branch. They must of pulled off something on the banks in the city to get Xed off the Megabank Co allowed list. Maybe they set off the fire alarm at a bank building.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 16:22:49 (EST)

click on SantaCon '01 http://www.costumenetwork.com/Magazine/2002Winter.htm#santa01
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 15:26:33 (EST)

MAYHEM! Why didn't ya say so! Where do I sign up, and what the fuck is it that I'm signing up for? Does it involve beer or naked women?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 15:19:14 (EST)

boris like mayhem but boris no can go christmas thing because everyone think boris from island of misfit sex toys. he want go instead to party with guy with excellent Slapshot t-shirt on benny homepage. hoooeeee real big mayhem, da.
boris
ukrainus, - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 15:18:10 (EST)

i know, i know. but santa con is different. it's all about mayhem.
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 15:01:49 (EST)

Leave jerzy alone! I like it when she's feeling me.
Melancholy
USA - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 14:52:24 (EST)

johnny cash? WOW! you are feeling melancholy.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 14:50:25 (EST)

My dad's best friend is the only real santa around here. He's the official Santa at the Providence Place Mall. Makes some serious cake doing it too. He's got the china white beard and hair that make him a natural. My hair is too dark and has too much parrot shit in it to pass as a decent santa. Besides, the parents would catch one glimpse of the way I look at their daughters and I'd be all done. I'll have to see if I can find Buddy's pic online, He was on the cover of a Sunday Journal last year.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 14:48:39 (EST)

johnny cash covers some damn fine songs on his new cd.
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 14:42:48 (EST)

LISSEN! (that was MEANT to be misspelled!) i'm HERE! just feeling MELANCHOLY and UNFUNNY! jesus! where's your fucking compassion?!!?
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 14:41:55 (EST)

oops, there she is...er...i...was just sayin' what a lovely LASS you were...
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 14:41:09 (EST)

I'm back for one minute only. Did you all miss me? I had to go out and tan my wallets. Anyways, where's that Jerzy bitch? And I CHALLENGE all the scared Canadian Benny fans to sign on and compete with some real lurkers.
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 14:40:16 (EST)

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! that was funny boris. seriously proctor - santa con 2002? you wouldn't even need to buy a beard!
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 14:38:35 (EST)

stop licking his balls from behind?
boris
ukrianus, - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 14:24:02 (EST)

Anybody know how to get parrot dung out of your hair?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 14:20:49 (EST)

Ohh man do I need to pinch this loaf.
Colon Parrot
USA - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 13:53:25 (EST)

Does it look like I've put on a few in the caboose or is it just this six-foot hemorrhoid?
The Parrot
- Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 13:00:13 (EST)

like i said proc feel free to enjoy it while you can. i enjoyed laughing at jose theodorkable last year too. right up 'til game four.
boris
ukrainus, - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 12:57:32 (EST)

Penis-Multilating Tampon Puts Rapists Out Of Business – Forever http://www.cosmiverse.com/paranormal01250202.html
Benny Daily Headline
USA - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 12:11:35 (EST)

Roadie THIS muthefucker. I am the fucking KING! She will roadie for ME! Into ETERNITY!!!!!!!!
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 11:38:18 (EST)

http://rhodeisland.ihigh.com/lasalle/0,3722,HS_ID=491-ROOT=00-CHAN=00-SPEC=00-CONT=00-CONTENT_ID=442332,00.html
READ IT AND WEEP!
USA - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 11:35:13 (EST)

Manute, you are 100% right and boris was 100% wrong. it was Spud not Muggsy. my bad, da. glad to see you're up on your defunct hoop league trivia. very impressive.

proc doesn't remember the mighty ms dan. can you believe that Manute? BTW, Manute, when is her next tour and will you be roadie-ing again?
boris <wish_i_could_remember_a_song_title_though.com>
ukrainus, - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 11:29:07 (EST)

Okay, I'll punt. What's a Cathryn Dan?
Don Juan to No
J-Town, USA - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 11:14:52 (EST)

BTW boris I understand with your weak constitution that you might have trouble reading that story, you being lala alumni and all.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 11:09:19 (EST)

I found a rare bit of boris doing one of his lesser known tunes... http://media.smilepop.com/smilepop/flash/10_2002/sept02-smilepop-bugseren2.swf
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 11:05:43 (EST)

Anybody seen that bastard Spud Web?
Manute Bol
USA - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 10:38:20 (EST)

if you use the satan/yelle/brown line you'd better have a Bol handy. so perfect it's scary, da.
boris
ukrainus, - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 10:31:51 (EST)

boris no have prob with 3FW. it's that don guy. showing up on the ONE DAY boris no can play in lurky-lurk, da. d'oh! BENNY SIZZLER KICKS ASS!!!!!!!
boris
ukrainus, - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 10:25:53 (EST)

Ahh, this is the lurk from days of yore that I have fond mammeries of. Jerzy bashing Proctor bashing Boris bashing absentee Willy bashing that idiot Don and all the while serving to scare off any REAL Benny Sizzler neophyte fans. Lurk on!
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 10:19:06 (EST)

A real man...
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 10:16:26 (EST)

a day without Jerzy Girl is like.....night. hope you're feeling better da. proc, that macaroni story was a little more than i needed to see this morning. i DO understand how you'd need to spout football BEFORE the game in question because god knows you'll be forced into silence after. for those lurkers who don't know this rivalry, suffice it to say that boris' team hasn't lost yet this century, and proctor's team becomes our bitch every thanksgiving in what may be the biggest annual high school sports event in this silly little state (other than mount st charles winning hockey title every bloody year since the civil war). da.
boris
ukrainus, - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 10:15:45 (EST)

the term "wallet tits" gives me a really bad mental image. really bad.
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 09:38:56 (EST)

hey proctor - you gonna participate in santa con 2002? seems like something that would be right up your alley.
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 09:36:47 (EST)

hi everyone. forgive me for my delinquency. i was out of town over the weekend and have been feeling a bit melancholy since my return. i have nothing funny to say, but am glad i was missed! where's that varment, willy?
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 09:36:09 (EST)

speaking of EP, it's almost time for the Lala boys to get their behinds tore up by EP's finest. And if the Glee Club doesn't kick their asses the football team will.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 09:24:53 (EST)

hey boris, if you haven't stained your panties yet today may I be so bold as to recommend the macaroni link I posted yesterday. I was showing that story to people last night and one guy damn near had a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 09:19:44 (EST)

Mommy mommy some parrot with a Prime Minister stuck up its ass is picking on me!!!
boris
ukrainus, - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 09:18:44 (EST)

next on the roster is miroslav satan. yes it is spelled like that but pronounced "shi-TAN". i think the line is complete -- satan yelle & brown. has a nice ringski to it. da.
boris
ukrainus, - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 09:04:56 (EST)

well hello fuckers. sorry been kinda over-w**ked by my stupid boss. he asked me to find a team that our company, BS Beverage & Wallet Co, could sponsor. boris actually signed up two hockey players -- sean brown & stephan yelle. i think the brown & yelle line is a winner.
boris
ukrainus, - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 09:01:44 (EST)

Morning lurkophiles, I love what you've done with the place. Is that a pic from the last EP High Glee Club reunion? The girls look a little cuter than I remember, well except for the scrawny little fuck in the center. He/she looks like he/she is in the process of passing one of those barium tainted stools.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 08:26:20 (EST)

Fuck you both this Benny sizzler shit sucks.
Rikky Raunchy <bend@over.com>
Peoria, Illinois USA - Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 22:40:17 (EST)

Hi! Don! I love you too! Want to start a message board for this band?
Angle
USA - Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 20:45:28 (EST)

I WANT Angel in the BIGgest way that is known only to man.
Don
Juant, USA - Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 18:31:28 (EST)

I LOVE this band they ROCK!
Angel
USA - Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 17:11:45 (EST)

I'm off to statistics class. A big raspberry to all non-lurkers. Stop pretending to have a life and join the BS Cult. I'm out [[[{{{((()))}}}]]]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 17:01:47 (EST)

I don't think that's muffins. It's those absorbent inserts that lactating women(I spalled it lactasting the first time) stuff in their bras.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 16:59:43 (EST)

I'm still laughing at the poor bastards macaroni debacle.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 16:55:06 (EST)

Nah, I just can't shake this caboose. Between the wallet tits and the mudflaps for ass a girl can't get a break. Hey is that "Friend's" Lisa Kudrow with the Thomas' fork splits over each nipple? I will say that that story of the guy letting loose with all manner of bodily functions at the restaurant is one of the funniest I've read in a long time. And he had the courtesy to clean it up too. Good find proctor. Now where is that whore Jerzy Grrrl?
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 16:52:14 (EST)

... and the three wise men... http://www.hwth.com/humor/stooges.jpg
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 16:31:10 (EST)

a not-for-wallet-tits exercise program... http://www.hwth.com/humor/EYEFUL.htm
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 16:29:29 (EST)

A calender girl extravaganza.. http://www.hwth.com/humor/features/calendar.htm
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 16:27:02 (EST)

Now here's a story for the brown and yellow!!! I laughed, I cried, I pissed and shit my BS BVDs... http://www.hwth.com/humor/features/MACARONI.htm
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 16:25:49 (EST)

No I didn't buy the parrot anything, but he gave me his autographed Judy Garland record.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 16:23:25 (EST)

I hope you bought the poor parrot a dinner and some drinks before you stretched his who-ha like a water balloon on the 4th of July.
Don
Johnston, USA - Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 16:13:55 (EST)

Hey I never did point out that it wasn't a jester hat in the hairsuit shot. It's a giant parrot. I've basically got my head shoved up the parrot's behind. Damn parrot made the oddest noises when I wiggled my ears and invited me out to P-Town after the costume contest was over.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 15:51:47 (EST)

What about you MJ did ya have any success paring down that caboose issue you had? And when is the whole crew gonna get off their cabooses and bring the explosion to some unsuspecting stage?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 15:44:09 (EST)

Proc, Boris is so ugly he makes TFW look like rodeo clown.
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 15:33:59 (EST)

No jerzy since Friday morning? Something foul this way lurks... MJ does boris REALLY look that ugly or do they do it with circus mirrors? And what about 3F willy? I never got a response on the live-burial-campfire-story connection?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 14:41:12 (EST)

Yeah, let's start some shit! Where is everybody today anyway? W**king or something? Dancing for the man? Pass me a BM. I got a thirst that piss won't quench.
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 14:20:05 (EST)

MJ I've gone through a six-pack of BM® waiting for some lurk action today. This lurk needs a good shitstarting if you ask me.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 13:59:33 (EST)

That's right, a real man just logged on... G'dafternoon, Lurk.
MJ®
Middleblob, RI USA - Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 13:27:02 (EST)

this ya gotta see.. http://www.bushcartoon.com/dance.html
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 12:16:59 (EST)

A pic is worth a 1000 pesos... http://www.gwbush.com/images/slideshows/bush%20colin%20powell%20farted.jpg
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 12:11:54 (EST)

howdy don
Cruel World/Lurk
USA - Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 11:24:30 (EST)

Hello cruel world/lurk
Don
Johnston, USA - Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 11:09:56 (EST)

where be the usual ascerbic meanderings?
lone meanderer
USA - Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 11:05:32 (EST)

Benny Sizzler is the reincarnation of Jimi Hendrix's left testicle.
Rufus Rugburn
USA - Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 10:14:43 (EST)

Three days of rest, five inches of rain, and four cases of BM later I find myself back in the slave galley. Morning to lurkers near and far. Pass me a BM somebody will'ya
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 08:43:40 (EST)

Morning...a question: If Mississippi asked Missouri for her New Jersey, what would Delaware? Idaho, Alaska. I'm bored. Really.
Bored
RI USA - Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 07:35:38 (EST)

Ahhhh yes the Russian bitches. The new playboy features "Galski's of the Gulag" & the bathhouse scene is out of this continent.
Drugsy
USA - Monday, November 11, 2002 at 14:55:17 (EST)

umm, sorry sir, didn't mean to offend sir, boris get back to work now sir. can boris interest you in free mail-order ukrainusian bride sir? hotzi-totzi da.
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, November 11, 2002 at 10:50:43 (EST)

That's right Boris, welcome to the jungle. You thought you worked for AOL/Time Warner? Well guess again sucker, guess who owns those schmeggeggies...
Mr. Benny Sizzler
CORPORATE, USA - Monday, November 11, 2002 at 10:20:53 (EST)

bankers hours all of youse. benny's a tough boss da.
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, November 11, 2002 at 10:18:50 (EST)

HOLY SHITSKI! boris (hic) not know he work for Benny Sizzler! HOLY SHITZKOVITCHSKI! this (hic) is horrible da!
boris
ukrainus, - Sunday, November 10, 2002 at 19:35:23 (EST)

My stools are blodied but unbowed.
Drugsy
USA - Sunday, November 10, 2002 at 17:09:31 (EST)

My breasts are like 2 full change purses and not the wallets my husband's disgruntled employee describes! I say!
Mrs. Benny Sizzler
USA - Sunday, November 10, 2002 at 16:49:05 (EST)

i try put her pictures back up this year too, but chest hair too much blockenzee wallets (with snaps da). boris think she fell out ugly tree, hit every branch on way down (hic) da (hic)...
boris
ukrainus, - Sunday, November 10, 2002 at 15:44:57 (EST)

heh heh (hic) wait 'til boris finish scanning the "Plumber's Crack" galleryt from day you dropped your paper clips, you stinking english pigdog. talk about the black hole of calcutta da.
boris
ukrainus, - Sunday, November 10, 2002 at 15:40:58 (EST)

Why, I haven' t seen wallets like that since you posted my wife's pictures last year on the internet, Boris
Boris' Boss
USA - Sunday, November 10, 2002 at 14:54:21 (EST)

ukrainusian peasant boris work on holiday. but he show evil boss. he drink (hic) BM for breakfast then put evil pictures of boss' wife on company website da (hic)...
boris
ukrainus, - Sunday, November 10, 2002 at 13:55:36 (EST)

I'm a holiday lurker, that's what I am. I'm a lurking on Sunday sipping BM from a can...
MJ®
USA - Sunday, November 10, 2002 at 12:55:39 (EST)

BM - Get Some!
Squirrel Hook
USA - Saturday, November 09, 2002 at 22:23:36 (EST)

I'm Hooked
USA - Friday, November 08, 2002 at 18:25:28 (EST)

BEEE-BOOOOW BEEEE-BOOOW BEEEE-BOOOW
Spall Wagon
USA - Friday, November 08, 2002 at 16:09:35 (EST)

Natutal?
annoying spallchecker
USA - Friday, November 08, 2002 at 16:08:40 (EST)

caucation fish with blue pray paint?
annoying spallchecker
USA - Friday, November 08, 2002 at 16:07:32 (EST)

I highly recommend that Lurkers® purchase the album "It's Only Right and Natutal" by the Frogs. You'll be glad you did.
Drugsy Cerrone
USA - Friday, November 08, 2002 at 16:07:02 (EST)

This just in from BNS: Young Republican camper found mauled by a 5 foot caucation fish with blue pray paint and a defrocked hairsuit jester. Only evidence at the scene were albino white stools. More ar 11:00
Benny News Service
USA - Friday, November 08, 2002 at 16:02:50 (EST)

Stop making fun of my sister Annie Cockgina just because she has two sets of genitals. You're all just jealous because she's marrying the governor. So from now on you can call her Annie Cockgina-Cockcheery.
Gina Cockgina
Inzyoutzy, Yahtzee - Friday, November 08, 2002 at 15:03:27 (EST)

partial success-- GHOST STORY PLOTS - Three-fingered Willy got his name by being buried alive while in some sort of trance or fit. Upon awakening he found himself in a coffin underground and in frenzied fear began to scratch away at the coffin lid. In digging his way out, he wore away all but three fingers of one hand. Following his escape he roamed the woods near the Scout camp. He captures campers who wander away from where they should be, make noise after taps and so on.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, November 08, 2002 at 14:30:31 (EST)

I found a bunch of references to the 3F Willie camp story, but I never found the story. Willie, did you pick your nom-de-lurk from the story? Anybody else ready to give over on the story?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, November 08, 2002 at 14:13:57 (EST)

From the Weird NJ site... Judge Cropsy- Other legends surround Kamp Kiamesha. Weird NJ reader Lawrence Morrow remembers some of the tales from his KK days: “The camp leader during the 50’s was ‘Moose.’ Anyone who remembers him is definitely a source for information; Jim Finian lived across the lake and composed some camp songs he played for us at the chapel organ. Across the lake, there was the legend of “Judge Cropsy,” who kept the dismembered parts of prisoners he sentenced to his on-premises jail, in the basement. Three-Fingered Willie is also a Kiamesha story told ‘round the old campfire. Kiamesha is unquestionably creepy. I was there about eight years back. The cabins are decaying and one would imagine squatters lurking about.” .....3F-Willie and squatters LURKING?
2 Fucking Weird
USA - Friday, November 08, 2002 at 13:22:53 (EST)

Froggy went-a-courting hermaphrodite stylee?
Mutant Tadpole
USA - Friday, November 08, 2002 at 12:11:50 (EST)

An article on Bavarian wife swapping started me on a link junket that ended at this animation. It runs about five minutes and has some weird tuneage too, so do it when you have the time, but this definitely rates the full five brown & yellow stars. http://atomicamerican.com/nosepilot/18/real.html
The Friday Noontime Matinee
USA - Friday, November 08, 2002 at 12:10:23 (EST)

Hot cock Annie, here she comes. She's the one with a cock and vagina .... combined.
Frog
USA - Friday, November 08, 2002 at 11:57:33 (EST)

word to the lurkers...
Willy
USA - Friday, November 08, 2002 at 11:55:03 (EST)

have i directed the lurk to this site before? fun stuff: www.weirdnj.com
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Friday, November 08, 2002 at 10:53:37 (EST)

Can we add Texas to that seccesionist notion? I disagree about giving them to Cuba though. What did they ever do to deserve that kind of punishment? Give em to Haiti, they'll whip some voodoo on their asses and fix em up REAL good.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, November 08, 2002 at 10:51:44 (EST)

So am I the only one who remembers Polk Salad Annie? I was checking out info on the song and discovered it was covered by (MJ get this) a canadian punk band. Yes, Deja Voodoo played it on an album (yes album) named Big Pile Of Mud.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, November 08, 2002 at 10:47:01 (EST)

Once and for all, let's get rid of these idiots. Giving entire state to Castro for Christmas is excellent idea. There is no upside to Florida except maybe the Keys. Keep those.
santa boris
ukrainus, - Friday, November 08, 2002 at 10:26:35 (EST)

a REAL lackey has just signed on
MJ Lackey®
USA - Friday, November 08, 2002 at 10:24:13 (EST)

MJ is waist high in meat world shit in the belly of the beast. Yep Wormtown.
MJ's Lackey
USA - Friday, November 08, 2002 at 10:23:06 (EST)

Down in Louisiana where the alligators grow so mean, there lived a girl that I swear to the world made the alligators look tame. Polk Salad Annie, Polk Salad Annie everybody said it was a shame cause her mama was working on the chain-gang (a mean, vicious woman). Everyday 'fore supper time she'd go down by the truck patch and pick her a mess o' polk salad and carry it home in a tote sack. Polk Salad Annie, 'gators got you granny. Everybody said it was a shame 'cause her mama was aworkin' on the chain-gang (a wretched, spiteful, straight-razor totin' woman, Lord have mercy. Pick a mess of it)
Tony Joe White
USA - Friday, November 08, 2002 at 09:26:30 (EST)

Morning to the lurk. I see my hairsuit has evacuated the contents of the lurk's collective stomach. Fear not, that empty feeling will be replaced by that image following you into your nightmares.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, November 08, 2002 at 08:28:38 (EST)

i got one thing to say: PUKE
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Friday, November 08, 2002 at 07:01:46 (EST)

Escape plan didn't work. Tried to chew my leg off but turns out I was handcuffed. Good to see buddy on channel 6 news though. You would never know he's going to the pokey. I do have some advice for him, Only eat the brown rats. The black ones taste like shit.
Chong
Cave - Friday, November 08, 2002 at 04:05:00 (EST)

Hey where Willy at, anyway? Under that grass skirt?
MJ®
USA - Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 23:48:18 (EST)

Benny Sizzler is absolutly p-utiful
B. Oderant
USA - Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 21:08:26 (EST)

speechless
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 19:42:20 (EST)

Well I gotta go take my hula lesson. I'm sure jerzy will get a hurling lesson when she catches a gander at the hairsuit (that's actually hair not grass). I'm out[[[{{{((()))}}}]>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 17:03:36 (EST)

It says our committment in the background, I think that's what's wrong. He should have been committed a long time ago.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 17:00:31 (EST)

Guess what's under the skirt and win yourself a prize!
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 16:52:31 (EST)

That dude in the grass skirt is so hot!
Carl Fidrych
RocknRoll Rhode Island, USA - Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 16:38:30 (EST)

What's wrong with this picture?
Not right
USA - Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 16:20:10 (EST)

...and I'm sure boris will get a kick out of the hairsuit.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 16:10:01 (EST)

So MJ should we share that chicken fricasee with the rest of the lurk?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 16:03:09 (EST)

Yo PIMP, my man..check yo email homes! Hey MJ! You ARE a real man!
Fiddy
Hell, ri USA - Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 15:49:41 (EST)

Damn I got a thirst for a yellow and brown. I better get down to a snooty bar and see if someone can TAKE MY PICTURE in full kabuki makeup
MJ®
USA - Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 15:07:57 (EST)

That's right...a real man just signed on...
MJ®
USA - Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 14:37:01 (EST)

CHONG!! How'd you escape the cave?
boris
ukrainus, USA - Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 13:01:38 (EST)

No, but if you hum a few bars...
a case of the HIVes
USA - Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 12:54:08 (EST)

HIV hoax. Ever hear of it?
Kary Mullis
USA - Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 11:44:45 (EST)

The green pajamas are are dining at three
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 10:41:54 (EST)

The duck flies at midnight!
Chong
Cave - Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 10:29:35 (EST)

A Yellow & Brown, a drink only a real man can keep down.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 10:15:14 (EST)

Does the benny squirrel have any recent stamps on his passport... http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&cid=573&ncid=757&e=5&u=/nm/20021107/od_nm/life_squirrel_dc
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 10:02:54 (EST)

Mixing Pabst and BM bev? That's the only thing better than a black & tan ... a yellow & brown!
Al Coholic
Boozeville, MO - Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 10:00:59 (EST)

talk about catching a wave... http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/nm/20021106/lf_nm/environment_energy_tides_dc_1
(web)surfing lurker
USA - Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 09:49:52 (EST)

how 'bout a date? i'll buy the booze
Squirrel
USA - Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 09:34:27 (EST)

i don't think that squirrel is REALLY holding that can. and get this: when i was in h.s., i dated a guy named squirrel. he was cool, cuz he was 21 when i was 17 and he used to score booze for us. oh dear, that is actually true. no, really, it is.
jerzy grrrl® <hangingmyhead@inshame.com>
jc, nj USA - Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 09:25:33 (EST)

MJ you gotz mail.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 09:17:28 (EST)

And which lurker is it who has been tilting at the capitalist windmalls? Could it be the same lurker who was seen hobnobbing with a certain Newport based columnist? Look for a certain free newspaper in your local Aquidnick Isle snooty bar and you may be treated to a full page pic of one lurker spilling mucho details in a tell all interview.
a gossipy lurker
USA - Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 08:48:09 (EST)

oops
anti-velocity lurker
USA - Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 08:31:27 (EST)

i bow to greatness of BSTC. keep rubles, da. other stuff got changed (de-bolding). boris think look better. can you mix BM bev with pabst?
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 08:31:13 (EST)

Benny Man Beverage. The beverage of Squirrels and Men. Get some.

Madison Ave, NYC USA - Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 08:10:14 (EST)

Nobody is suggesting that the Wellstone and Carnahan plane crashes were anything but tragic accidents. However, there is no evidence to prove that yet, so we must reserve judgment until the real facts are known. Don't hold your breath: nearly 40 years later, we're still waiting to find out who killed President Kennedy.
John Denver
USA - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 23:55:56 (EST)

thank you for bringing the offending log to our attention. BSTC went Mommie Dearest on it, "If she doesn't like you, she cuts you out of the picture." Thank you. You will be paid in two rubles and a case of Benny Man beverage. It's BMlicious!
BSTC
USA - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 20:32:49 (EST)

hey happyboy upside-down question mark should be shot by the BSTC. fucked lurk velocity up real good. well done.
boris
ukrainus, - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 19:25:04 (EST)

I just want to say that my first act as Gub'nor will be to try to be as upright a citizen as my personal idol, Don from Johnston. He will be RI's first Emissary to Highbury and will get free season tickets. On a personal note: Don, I read the front of that tarot card you left on my lawn, which said "I am God." I agree. You are God. But I just read the back this morning, which said "Get below me and blow me." At first I didn't get it, but now I see you want me to say it to a certain losing candidate. But I must decline. I will never be that mad at my dick.
Don Cockcheery
Johnston, - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 18:35:48 (EST)

I'm out<<<[[[{{{((()))}}}>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 17:00:38 (EST)

My question marks are inverted only in the existential and rather limp in the here and now.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 16:59:47 (EST)

GRAMCHECK- the?... see what I mean
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 16:57:42 (EST)

My brain has reached the consitency of pudding and despite the what people say there is no room for jello.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 16:57:07 (EST)

Who the fuck is upside down question mark? Does that mean he gets it?
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 16:11:16 (EST)

Willy will triple digitally cover your firm's assets, Jrz.
MJ® <dark@3pm.com>
USA - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 16:10:20 (EST)

blow me
USA - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 15:56:22 (EST)

Everything is going to be just fine. Everything is going to be just fine. Everything is going to be just fine... http://soli.inav.net/~catalyst/images/fine.gif
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 15:55:00 (EST)

Achtung cock!
Hitler Robot
USA - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 15:39:23 (EST)

WHO'S ass, willy?!!?
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 14:16:35 (EST)

I will single-handedly cover the company's assets
Willy
Romania - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 14:12:24 (EST)

I'm always one who thinks you should give til it hurts... http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&cid=573&ncid=757&e=1&u=/nm/20021106/od_nm/romania_sperm_dc
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 13:54:44 (EST)

Cut me into a decorative shape!
President Topiary
USA - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 13:44:45 (EST)

oil pipeline control. leave it to Prez Shrub to find a plot from last bleepin' 007 flick. pretty much sums up his foreign-affairs plan. "Condi, I said shaken not stirred"
boris
ukrainus, - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 12:56:31 (EST)

This friggin computer must be payback for tripping the alarm last week. I think this might turn into a matter of perpetual vendetta. Did I mention I fucking hate banks?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 11:37:41 (EST)

you said it TWICE MJ®!!! You GO!!!
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 11:19:53 (EST)

my poopy brown is too pale. how can I function when I can't even be comforted by the proper shades of poopy brown and pee yellow.
A Disconcerted Proctor
USA - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 11:02:53 (EST)

Republicans can lick my hairy white ass. There, I said it.
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 10:58:29 (EST)

Republicans can lick my hairy white ass. There, I said it.
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 10:57:31 (EST)

Gory Vittels has it pegged right. The MoFo we installed as dictator in Afghanistan was in charge of the pipeline project. The only practical path for a pipeline is through Turkmenistan and Afghanistan. This is one Clinton and Shrub both took part in too (there's a scary coalition). They've already returned to "negotiating" and surveying for the pipeline. Viva Texas... I'd rather vivasection the texas fucks
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 10:44:16 (EST)

The Megabank Co IT squad has removed my wonky (but functional) desktop for some slick looking piece of shit. They had told me they were doing it tomorrow so I hadn't saved all my cool-ass wallpaper and shit. It's just a few more reasons to hate the corporate slagheap I w**k in. I have to figure how to kill some of the annoying settings on this fucking box or I'm gonna go postal before the end of the day.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 10:37:48 (EST)

true true drugsy. and how about Jerzy Girl....even her Halloween costume inspires international repercussions. It was Jerzy's filter all right, nobody can convince me otherwise, da....
boris
ukrainus, - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 09:56:51 (EST)

Pendulum swing left people freak out . Pendulum swing right people freak out. Repeat.
Drugsy's ShamPoo
USA - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 09:47:59 (EST)

werd, jerz. in this case i agree with Vidal....
boris
ukrainus, - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 09:44:21 (EST)

i'm seriously, seriously scared. do you think that they're going to put plaster of paris underwear on all naked statues? do you think they're going to paint garments on all naked paintings? is this another sign of armageddon?
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 09:35:38 (EST)

Well well well...looks like we got us a party goin' on...
Freddy <oil@slick.com>
Dallas, TX USA - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 09:26:33 (EST)

Chong want headtone to read: Did not die alone in cave of darkness. Also I see now that this is the same cave and the smell is something I am not proud of.
Chong
Cave, ?? - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 09:26:04 (EST)

Chong, you're screwed. They hate Ukrainus-ians and won't let us bribe the guards and we can't fire our shoulder-mounted smallpox rifles without permission from Charlton Heston. If you can reach your ass, kiss it goodbye. My last shot involves calling those hitmen Don from Johnston hired to kill me but I think today is bingo/all-you-can-eat at the casino. Ummm...what do you want your headstone to say?
boris
ukrainus, - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 08:47:11 (EST)

I ain't been this sick and this scared since Reagan first got elected.. well and the second time he got elected too. I think we better open up the safe houses again. Only this time I think we should consider joining the terrorists. Chong, hang in there dude, we'll spring ya somehow. We just hired a team of russians that specialize in this sort of thing. They did have one question though, do you have any distinguishing marks so we can identify the body?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 08:41:35 (EST)

Just blindfolded and went for ride in van. Dropped me at new secret location. Smells funny in here. Looks a lot like old cave but this one is smelly. Some kind of meat being smoked I think. Kidnapper tells me that mondale lost, and also that Small Wonder has been cancelled.
Chong
Cave of darkness, ? ??? - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 07:40:14 (EST)

i'm scared too jerzy. the one major daily of RI is owned by knobs in dallas. even before that they were GOP but now it's worse. longtime ago i worked for a different rag but they were usually too far the other way (left). one thing's for sure...gore vidal is right when he whines about oil running the country. rednecks from texas are running the country. how fucking scary is that. HANG ON CHONG! we just gotta get fitted with our shoulder-launched smallpox rifles.
boris
ukrainus, - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 07:38:14 (EST)

i'm scared. fucking republicans scare me. chong, are they republican?!
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 07:34:25 (EST)

sit tight chong, we got a plan to spring you outta that cave. do you happen to have a gas mask handy? thinkin' you'll be needing one.
boris
ukrainus, - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 07:24:43 (EST)

Chong stuck in cave of darkness. Two, maybe three guards outside. Don't know where I am. Not scared though cause I have indiglo. Would like to go home soon......Have to go now kidnapper is coming.
Chong
USA - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 06:57:28 (EST)

I am pleased to accept the nomination from the Turd Robot Party for the seat of Middleblob Fuher. Election day is on Diode One Niner of the 7th Star. See you at the polls!
Drugsy
USA - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 20:26:45 (EST)

word to the lurk on electron day
Willy
USA - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 19:07:54 (EST)

Well, I guess it's just me and MJ who are exiting. I guess the rest of the lurkers are too ENTRANCEd to exit. Remember, VOTE EARLY! VOTE OFTEN! I'm out<<<{{{((()))}}}>>>~~~~~~~~~~
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 17:00:46 (EST)

MJ will exit lurk left at about 18:00 hours...
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 16:51:44 (EST)

I guess it's time for the exit poll. I'll be exiting at approximately 5:00, how about the rest of the lurkers?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 16:48:34 (EST)

Poll licker MJ here. The feeling in the air is one of hope, that somehow this election will produce the change needed to break free of the old politics of the past. This election will stand apart from all others as the one that will change our lives for the better. This is the one. Get ready for a new Middleblob, world!
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 16:48:08 (EST)

Ya gotta love a system that w**ks.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 16:18:25 (EST)

Investigative Reporter "Absentee" Vinny here. I'm pleased to report that all residents of St Luigi's Cemetery have done their Patriarca duty... er, I mean patriotic duty and unanimously cast there votes for the "endorsed" candidate.
"Absentee" Vinny
Da Hill, USA - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 16:15:37 (EST)

this just in....BOTH legal american citizens of pawtucket have voted.
cub reporter boris
ukrainus, - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 16:02:34 (EST)

Field reporter Proctor here, the Rumford poll place was relatively calm except for one contingent of "campaign volunteers" that kept going over behind a Chevy Suburban and "restocking" on campaign materials. A bottle of Newport Storm rolled out as I passed by the car. I asked the volunteer which candidate she was supporting between swigs. Anybody who buys local product is alright in my book.
News Hound Proctor
USA - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 15:45:11 (EST)

It's not collagen, it's a PROSTHETIC lip.
Pete Burns
USA - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 15:16:00 (EST)

Field reporter Mean Joe here. Middletown's council seat race is HEATING UP. The recumbents are laying down on the job and the frisky first timers are wreaking havoc at the polls. Josephine LaRoux , 74, of the flood-prone Wood Street area is "fucking fed up" with the good old boys who do nothing. Stay tuned...
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 15:14:51 (EST)

werd to the cool moose. at least he's honest...
boris
ukrainus, - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 14:47:11 (EST)

http://www.votehealey.com/
unsolicited endorsement for an unpaid candidate
USA - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 14:35:22 (EST)

Well, I hit the voting booth at lunch and the lurkers can rest easy that I've made all their choices for them.... Cool Moose Rules!
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 14:25:29 (EST)

pete burns got a purty mouth.
hillbilly hacker
USA - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 13:55:17 (EST)

oh dear god! did pete burns get collagen injections in his lips a la melanie griffith?! i'm embarassed to know now too.
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 12:48:36 (EST)

man I can't even spall my name today. must be the excitement in the air on this election day.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 12:45:24 (EST)

SPALLCHECK- deTails (like spelling correctly)
prim
USA - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 12:43:45 (EST)

I don't have time for you mere lurkers. I'm out in the meatworld all day flashing my wallets for votes. VOTE FOR SNAPS!
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 12:42:26 (EST)

I'd like to take a moment to discourage you from voting. There's no need chance breaking a nail on one those nasty voting machine's levers. I'll do the voting and make all those troublesome choices for you. After all that's what a Prime Minister is for, to make decisions for you. I'm sure you're all quite confident in my abilities and you can save yourself from that LONG wait in line by letting me take care of the deyails.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 12:41:56 (EST)

http://www.needthebook.com/peteburns.htm
embarassed to know
USA - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 12:08:32 (EST)

Pete Townshend? Fast Actin' Who? Can't tell more sorry.
boris
ukrainus, - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 12:03:42 (EST)

pete burns? of dead or alive? holy bejesus! whatever happened to him (her?!)?!!?
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 11:17:39 (EST)

SPALLCHECK- tWo,
pri
USA - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 11:14:24 (EST)

Autumn is short for autistic tums, it's antacid that can't stop slamming it's head against the wall. Fall is a hairpiece extension. I see where these to could easily be confused. I hope this clarifies matters for you.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 11:12:21 (EST)

Pete Burr? The Fast Actin' Burrs?
Help Me
USA - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 11:02:06 (EST)

what's the difference between autumn and fall? please discuss.
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 10:55:40 (EST)

I just wanted to say that I need the vote of each and every lurker today in my quest to become the next Governor. Thank you and good night.
Don Cockcheery
Johnston, RI - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 10:27:50 (EST)

Bloop! Bloop!..... Bloop! Bloop!
Debbie the Bloop
USA - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 09:54:42 (EST)

my cat's breath smells like cat food.
Ralphie Wiggum
Springfield, USA - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 09:30:45 (EST)

hey Don how's life at the Central Landfill? you gotta stop with the half-assed assassins. bought the last two off with a medium hazelnut from dunkin donuts. are you even paying these guys?
boris
ukrainus, - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 09:30:24 (EST)

I was merely channeling the great one... MJ you gotz one ugly bit of mail.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 09:22:27 (EST)

most excellent doctor zachary smith impersonation, most excellent.
boris
ukrainus, - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 09:18:39 (EST)

Was that a group slathering? Sorry, couldn't resist. Morning lurkers. Anybody seen a tacky tourist somewhere round these parts?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 09:15:28 (EST)

Dr. Smith don't go! Don't go! Take me with you.Take me fucking with you!
Deadsy
Flatline, USA - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 09:15:05 (EST)

Youuuu malevolent mechanical monstrosity, must you constantly intrude on my placid ponderings?
Dr. Smith (special ghost appearence)
USA - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 08:57:40 (EST)

The early lurker gets the cornhole.
Don
Johnston, USA - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 08:50:01 (EST)

Was it Hymers? Fast Actin' Hymers?
I May Be High
USA - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 08:48:54 (EST)

nah boris. since it's water based, it came right off in the shower....very cool stuff!
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 07:49:17 (EST)

SOMEONE the lurk knows very well was recently asked to front Fast Actin' Fuses but I won't rat him out! He better move quick or the crud from Creed may decide to join a REAL band...
boris
ukrainus, - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 07:36:15 (EST)

I was an epilady for Halloween!
Scatt Stopp
USA - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 07:34:29 (EST)

agreed on creed but when did he ever HAVE a voice? that fake-distraught shit would've gotten laughed out of any community theatre in the country. jerz, glad the stuff wasn't toxic but wasn't it a pain to get rid of? i hear that shit soaks in and you have to wash it off like three times. excellent pix though, i had my halloween vicariously through youse...boris sick, da.
boris
ukrainus, - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 07:32:59 (EST)

Dr. Smith is dead...."Oh, the pain, the pain...."
TraGd
Warwick, RI USA - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 06:43:47 (EST)

creed needs to shut their bloomin' pieholes. puke.
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 06:36:08 (EST)

oh if only that were REALLY true!
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 06:34:16 (EST)

I heard Benny sizzler was lookin' for a dirty little roadie. This true? And if so, where might I apply?
Scatt Stopp
USA - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 00:58:15 (EST)

Benny News Wire.... "Undercover Music News : Creed singer loses his voice ... Creed singer Scott Stapp has lost his voice. "
BNW
USA - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 22:50:27 (EST)

Do you chillins still find this lurk relevant in the ultra advanced and thoroughly modern society in which we live?
Scott Stapp
God's Country, USA - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 22:49:21 (EST)

i correct me self....gold PAINT might kill you, but not make up.
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 22:23:39 (EST)

bubble wrap, duct tape and spray paint - a few of my favorite things! as for the body make-up, that there is a myth about the skin needing to breathe - you could die from toxcicity, but not from covering yourself in gold paint (you know that woman did NOT die, don't you?). anyway, got it at a costume shop, it's made to be worn all over - called aquamakeup, you wet a sponge and slather it on then use a setting spray so it doesn't smear all over. SEE?!!?
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 22:06:11 (EST)

i too am a member of the ww cult.
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 22:03:38 (EST)

Hhahahah Oh...Oh i just checked that link. Oh that hurts. Oh that's not funny. Now someone has gone too far
MJ®
USA - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 17:54:58 (EST)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Toothpick dropped on the floor at Bo-rics! HAHAHAHAHA! I'm pissing myself
MJ®
USA - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 17:44:22 (EST)

I'm out<<<{{{((()))}}}>>>>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 17:02:53 (EST)

too much w**k, not enuf lurk... nuff said. Hey did anybody else catch The Simpsons episode with Stan Lee last night? Mega-spiffy that Hulk master is.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 16:53:10 (EST)

this lurk can get down-right mean spirited at times
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 16:29:33 (EST)

That is some COLD shit. Unsigned even...nice and cowardly. Boris the Spineless Fat Commie Bastard appreciates such stuff. Da.
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 15:58:13 (EST)

Hey lard ass... http://www.weightwatchers.com/globalutilities/l4_gu_location_results.asp?search=state&state=RI&city=middletown
a thinner lurker
USA - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 15:55:13 (EST)

weight watchers w**ks wonders I'll have to give a certain large caboosed sizzler the number of the local center.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 15:46:49 (EST)

um, the one on this site? hey ZEUS you lost THAT much weight????!!?!?? you must've looked like a tootsie pop someone dropped on the floor at Bo-Rics.
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 15:16:40 (EST)

easy boris I was joking too. I'm quite proud of my oblate caboose. What link are you talking about though?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 15:00:04 (EST)

jerzy, I was going to ask about the costumes earlier. Did you guys find colored bubble wrap or did you paint it? BTW, the bubble wrap was a cool way to get the scale effect. And what did you paint your skins with? I know some of that stuff kinda suffocates your skin.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 14:55:23 (EST)

a joke proc. a joke. read the news link. see? massive monday humor-loss or what.
boris
ukrainus, USA - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 14:52:27 (EST)

Which "other lurkers" would that be? Over the years I put on some pounds and I've dropped some pounds. I lost 85 pounds last year and since have put back on 20 or so. As the classic old joke goes... I may be fat , but boris is BUTT UGLY and at least I can go on a diet.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 14:32:13 (EST)

The other lurkers thought it looked as if Proctor had "put on a few" in the caboose.
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 14:03:38 (EST)

oh dear. it's been a long, long day.
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 13:55:27 (EST)

turn it up
turn it UP
TURN IT UP!!
boris
ukrainus, USA - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 13:38:10 (EST)

I was shocked that they put the Bugermeister at the bottom of the page myself. I would think that it's obvious to all that Burgermeister Meisterburger was paul Frees finest moment.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 12:59:34 (EST)

I just realized, here we are in a new month and Teen Tinkler Mag has picked the lurk as website of the month again. I'm gonna go pee to celebrate.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 12:56:13 (EST)

DUDE you MISSED what was by FAR his MOST important voice ever, besides maybe Santa in "Frosty"...he was Burgermeister Meisterburger!!!
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 12:50:16 (EST)

Morrocco Mole, Boris, Fearless Leader, George of the Jungle, John & George on the Beatles cartoon, Super Chicken.... all the voice of Paul Frees... http://www.tvtome.com/tvtome/servlet/PersonDetail/personid-52049
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 12:36:35 (EST)

word to the un-lurk
Willy
USA - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 11:57:19 (EST)

someone turned Captain Hook into Morocco Mole? Good luck squeezing your zits with THAT hand Morocco!
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 11:55:02 (EST)

Is that an official Benny Sizzler action figure I see dancing oh so furiously on the lurk?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 11:54:57 (EST)

Wha..?

Vicinity of Benny Sizzler bulkhead, USA - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 11:20:46 (EST)

I've heard tell that the bulkhead has been so severely rattled by recent practices that the hinges had to be replaced and all the squirrels in the neighborhood have had to be fitted with Miracle Ear hearing aids.
in the bushes near the bulkhead
USA - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 10:57:34 (EST)

No Warren Cucuruto?? BUMMAH!
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 10:42:22 (EST)

Project Object opened, but we didn't catch them. the guitarist came out and played one tune with them though. Claypool's tuneage has definitely taken a Zappaesque turn. If you added some Flo & Eddie singing to the background you woulda thought you were listening to Zappa outtakes from back in the day.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 10:29:38 (EST)

Project Object you mean Proc? That's three alums of Mothers of Invention (I think)...
boris
ukrainus, - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 10:20:43 (EST)

I've never seen a pumpkin smash a rat before... caged or uncaged. So I have to ask, does a rat go SPLAT!?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 10:20:02 (EST)

Checked out Les Claypool at Lupo's last night. They looked like they were still on the Halloween trip and had definite Zappa twist going on in the sound they were kicking. The place was packed and once again the Bombay Sapphire tasted more like GansettBay Quagmire. I only had a couple this time so the head is only pounding a gentle samba beat.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 10:17:44 (EST)

Despite all my rage I am still just a pumpkin-smashing rat in a cage.
Billy Corgan
NYC, - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 09:53:44 (EST)

he wishes! what a dream to be kidnapped by eight women and one small japanese guy! nah, it was his birthday celebration - he'd been blathering on for weeks about wanting to smash a pumpkin from a high perch, so we came up with a twist on the make a wish foundation...
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 09:51:56 (EST)

Was the pumpkin smashing some sort of bizarre kidnapping ritual?
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 09:32:06 (EST)

ganesh needs a nose job
jealous deity
USA - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 09:30:03 (EST)

ganesh is my favorite. no offense.
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 08:54:05 (EST)

okay. i'm ready to share. the parade was so great! check it out - from conception to completion... www.wetdreamtank.com (the mermaid parade and the pumpkin smashing incident are separate things).
jerzy grrrl®
jc, nj USA - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 08:52:39 (EST)

Today is the great Hindu Festival in honor of the Goddess Kali. It is celebrated in grand style, especially in the eastern state of West Bengal. There is a huge temple to Kali at Dakshineswar, north of Calcutta. Kali is depicted as having jet black skin, three eyes, four arms, a necklace of skulls, a belt with severed hands hanging from it, blood dripping from her fangs, and earrings made of small children. Mythology maintains that she single-handedly defeated an army of millions upon millions of demons bent on enslaving humanity. Then she accidentally killed her beloved husband, Shiva. She was overwrought with sorrow at her mistake. So then she brought Shiva back to life by having intimate marital relations with his corpse.
Kali-fornication
USA - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 08:47:35 (EST)

I might be mistaken, but I coulda sworn I saw Old Spice just walk by.
not a kidnapper
USA - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 08:44:42 (EST)

Morning to the lurk. I'm glad to see the official drink of the lurk has finished its test phase and is now ready to slake the thirsts of all who crave a good BM®.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 08:37:21 (EST)

After a long day of lurking there is nothing that slakes my thirst like a drink of BM®.
BennyMan
Metroplop, RI USA - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 08:33:30 (EST)

YES, I'm BennyMan defender of the lurk and shitstarter to all who defy the basement explosion! Where ever tasteless music rears its ugly head BennyMan will be there in his pee yellow cape and tights with the poopy brown smear down the back. And emblazoned on his scrawny chest the two letters that send the girly men running- BM.
BennyMan
Metroplop, RI USA - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 08:29:30 (EST)

Today's Lurk brought to you by the beverage of choice by Benny Sizzler fans everywhere. Benny Man. Get some.

Madison Ave, NYC USA - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 00:01:41 (EST)

USA - Sunday, November 03, 2002 at 23:21:31 (EST)

Somebody get me a cigarette. I'm 5 years younger and ten pounds lighter after that pinch...
Benny sizzler Technical Captain
Basement, USA - Sunday, November 03, 2002 at 23:17:58 (EST)

And I thought I had the waning estrogen production...
Ole Lady Schroeder
USA - Sunday, November 03, 2002 at 22:57:30 (EST)

I heard from a reliable source that once the kidnappers succeeded they were going to force the victim to have a sex-change operation...turning "him" into a woman. cheers to that luv...
Paprika Spice
London, UK - Sunday, November 03, 2002 at 17:10:20 (EST)

As President of C.O.C.K.E.D. (Community Organization to Comfort and Keep Every Dick) I wish to complain about the statements of some renegade Dick groups which do not meet our guidelines.
Hugh G. Rection
- Sunday, November 03, 2002 at 11:16:52 (EST)

Hey Richard, get below me and blow me.
Jon BonBon
New Jersey, USA - Sunday, November 03, 2002 at 10:36:37 (EST)

Hi guys! Can i join the club?
Richard Cheese
Rotterdam, Netherlands USA - Sunday, November 03, 2002 at 00:22:01 (EST)

Wotta bunch of Benedicked Arnolds.
Richard Hertz
Holden, MA USA - Saturday, November 02, 2002 at 15:04:47 (EST)

Thanks guys. I feel a bit better now. I was starting to think that no one at this guestbook liked Dick. Guess I was wrong!
Richard Lancer <Lonely@guy.com>
USA - Saturday, November 02, 2002 at 00:09:20 (EST)

MORE DICK MORE DICK MORE DICK WE LOVE DICK NEVER ENOUGH DICK DOES THIS DRESS MAKE ME LOOK FAT (hey shaddup) MORE DICK DICK FOREVER!!!!
peanut gallery
- Friday, November 01, 2002 at 22:47:05 (EST)

welcome to the lancer brothers, boyle and richard. boyle's seems kinda hot-headed, but i think everyone here just loves dick!
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, November 01, 2002 at 22:42:12 (EST)

I'm just lonely and wondering why no one is writng back to me.
Richard Lancer <lonely@guy.com>
USA - Friday, November 01, 2002 at 21:21:17 (EST)

I'm off to rinse the salty taste outa my mouth. LURK ON fearless compadres. I'm out<<<{{{((()))}}}>>>~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, November 01, 2002 at 17:00:48 (EST)

Boy dat some UUUUUGLY singing. You better keep your day job.
Satchmo
USA - Friday, November 01, 2002 at 16:59:18 (EST)

Where be ye lurkers? If it was earlier I'd start warming up to sing a tune or two. hmmmm, maybe Steppenwolf's- Foggy Mental Breakdown, or Smoke on the Water.... I know! Louis Armstrong And Ella Fitzgerald- A Foggy Day.... A foggy day, in London town had me low, had me down I viewed the morning, with much alarm British Museum, had lost its charm. How long I wondered, could this thing last but the age of miracles, hadn't past For suddenly, I saw you there and through foggy London town, the sun was shining everywhere
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, November 01, 2002 at 16:57:36 (EST)

Where'd the lurk be w/o the head lurk jerk. I wouldn't want to wake up and log every afternoon and see the prime lurk jockey crying into his sorry ass bowl of special K . Lurk hard or don't lurk at all.
Drugsy
Pillow Biter, USA - Friday, November 01, 2002 at 16:52:51 (EST)

Megabank Co has assured me that my job is safe.... well for a couple of weeks at least. I guess I should start w**king on that traditional Xmas tree complete with a full complement of candles to light it up Victorian stylee.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, November 01, 2002 at 16:28:20 (EST)

I really do have to cut down on my salt intake. Gotta watch that blood pressure y'know....
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, November 01, 2002 at 16:25:00 (EST)

Anybody know how to get rid of protein stains?... The exec e-mailed me back, I have to scrape her toe cheese twice a week for six months and find her two Benny Sizzler novelty soaps (one pee yellow and one poopy brown)
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, November 01, 2002 at 15:54:04 (EST)

Well I wore sack cloth and ash all day, did the stations of the cross, three rosaries, two acts of contrition, and while I was on my knees blew every executive in the building in an attempt to keep my job. I just e-mailed the head exec with an indentured slavery proposal and I'm awaiting word on my job status. Gotta go, one of the supervisors I missed earlier is asking me to service them.
Prime Minister Proctor
USA - Friday, November 01, 2002 at 15:23:02 (EST)

stick me with a red hot poker
Boyle Lancer
USA - Friday, November 01, 2002 at 15:18:00 (EST)

Hi. I LOVE this guestbook. You all seem like such a nice bunch. I'm kind of lonely but eager to please. Might I join the gang for some fun?
Richard Lancer
Omaha, NE USA - Friday, November 01, 2002 at 12:01:45 (EST)

Fuck you. My band is HOT!
Roger Raunchy
Rockchester, NY USA - Friday, November 01, 2002 at 11:38:01 (EST)

fish are wet
mr obvious
USA - Friday, November 01, 2002 at 10:53:10 (EST)

BSTC i will sendenzee another now
boris
ukrainus, USA - Friday, November 01, 2002 at 10:28:23 (EST)

Hey, anybody find out how Jerzy made out as a fishtank filter in the parade?
MJ®
USA - Friday, November 01, 2002 at 10:24:06 (EST)