lurkive 6-30aug02

Hey, whats that cool new tune? I say everything rots , but that new tune is hot. Hot I tell ya. "Poppin' a boneNAH, Poppin' a boneNAH." Thats hot!
Little Timmy
USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 18:03:31 (EDT)

I sais "Poppin a boneNAH, Poppin a boneNAH"
Schmucko
CAC, USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 17:59:55 (EDT)

It's gonna be a long weekend without Jrz, Proc, Willy Boris and jacques around...long indeed. and quite lonely and sad. Very sad. Sure do wish some of the peeprs would log one or two. I feel so dirty. Dirty down there.
Weekend Lurker
Down There, USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 17:37:50 (EDT)

1:1 not bad, lurkers, peeper and perverts, not bad at all. Now if we could just raise the QUALITY of the logs up a notch...
LSD
Washington, USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 17:36:24 (EDT)

I'm off to find cookies and drink copious amounts of Sam Light. Who says cookies and beer don't go together? Somebody hit the countdown on the way out the door. Have an unlaborious Labor Day. I'm out>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 16:51:40 (EDT)

Holy Logjam, Lurkers! I was ready to scold on the peek to log ratio cuz the counter is a little better than 200 into it today. BUT there were about a hundred logs! 1:1 ratio a new lurk record (I think)...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 16:35:26 (EDT)

It puts the lotion on its' skin, or else it gets the hose again.
The Cave Keeper
USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 16:30:25 (EDT)

Timmy hath kept me in a cave with a bottle of moisturizer.
Turok
Middleblob, USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 16:17:34 (EDT)

Timmy, what did you do with Turok?...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 16:14:13 (EDT)

Benny sizzler rots!
Little Timmy Tumor
ASS, ASS FEET - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 16:09:50 (EDT)

I missed the show. I hear the freak thought he was really getting an award. My guess is the cosmetic surgery went more than skin deep...
Proctor's gamble
rumfid, ri USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 16:09:07 (EDT)

boris, I did figger the pay crap out. I'll do it from a friends, I was just venting... (sound of hissing steam)
Proctor's gamble
rumfid, ri USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 16:06:52 (EDT)

And Willy's got TWO white fingers...hmmm.coincidence/ And where WAS Willy the night Michael was awarded to "Artist of the Millenium" award. And on that note-did that smack of a George Burns acceptance speech or what?
Hmmm
USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 16:03:56 (EDT)

Maybe he stole Willys fingers... and don't he just get scarier and scarier... BTW, I've been wrestling with trying to pay on ebay, what a fucked up set up. I've never had such trouble trying to give money away. I finally got the site to let me through to the paypal thingy and those fucks won't let you do anything unless they can slam me with cookies. (megabank Co frowns VERY disapprovingly on cookies)
Proctor's gamble
rumfid, ri USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 16:02:51 (EDT)

lookenzee at dat picture of "The Other MJ" clozely. howcum hiz lazt two fingerz are, howyouzay, 'caucazian' da?
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 15:51:24 (EDT)

We have noted that on several occasions the lurk has ground to a halt after an acerbic log by Willy. Even the ever smitten Jersy Girl has succumbed to his stern kiboshings.
Lurk Statistical Department
Washington, DC USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 15:35:13 (EDT)

I've got a song for your band. it goes," Popping a boNAH, popping a boNAH" with the emphasis on the "Nah" in a higher note than than others.
Dave Broulette
Cuberland, RI USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 15:32:29 (EDT)

MJ offers two fingers to Willy... http://us.news1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/rids/20020830/i/1030704083.3490021501.jpg
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 14:40:11 (EDT)

blowenzee me will da.
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 14:38:08 (EDT)

Checks arrived stop. Gotta go cash it stop. No, I gotta go stop. I SAID GO stop. GO stop. GO stop. STOP go. HAH! gotcha stop... DAMN IT stop.....
Proctor's gamble
rumfid, ri USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 14:37:55 (EDT)

Willy, you don't save a sinking lurk by drilling holes in it stop. Why am I talking like a telegram stop. Stop that stop. No, stop it stop. Stop stop... oh I give up stop...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 14:35:11 (EDT)

lurkers fleeing lurk like rats off sinking ship stop. send supplies immediately stop. MTV "music" awards a total floppenzee stoppenzee. makes one slit wristenzees stoppenzee...where's Bore-Us?
Willy
USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 14:04:15 (EDT)

once again we have no checks and the natives are getting restless. Not to mention my printer crapped out and they've got me playing ticket ping-pong to replace it.... and I started out so supercalifragilistic this morning....
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 13:55:55 (EDT)

Some of them there yahoos are talking a good fight, ala viruses. So I recommend a peek not a post...
Proctor's gamble
rumfid, ri USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 13:17:24 (EDT)

Man, did I just see the the most unbelievable message board fight on an article in yahoo news. Makes our little tiffs seem like diplomacy. check the message board at the bottom of the article... http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&cid=519&ncid=716&e=4&u=/ap/20020830/ap_on_re_us/child_abducted_17
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 13:14:49 (EDT)

GnR, yeah I remember them. That stands for Geezers and Retirees doesn't it?
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 12:38:51 (EDT)

Hey Axl, I mean Billy, written anything new lately?
Who Cares
USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 12:30:15 (EDT)

SPALLCHECK!! concerned
Proctor's gamble
USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 12:26:56 (EDT)

How unfortunate, the baseball strike has probably been settled. I was looking forward to enjoying football without the interuption of the baseball playoffs... judging by the message boards on the news stories the damage is already done as far as the fans are concerne. We'll see how long their memory is...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 12:26:14 (EDT)

I go for Merle Oberon and Claudette Colbert if you must know. Claudette as Cleopatra, now that'll give ya the vapors...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 12:20:24 (EDT)

Clara Bow, perhaps?
The FBI <proctorwatch@fbi.gov>
USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 11:44:32 (EDT)

Uh yeah we have reports of some dude goin' off on underage stars on this website. We suggest this perp stick to fantasising about stars his own age if he wants to stay out of jail. Try Myrna Loy and Mary Pickford.
The FBI
USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 11:31:10 (EDT)

please proctor. i'm asking nicely...stop with the pervy talk...i don't need the mental image. thank you.
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 11:29:32 (EDT)

SPALLCHECK! bird's
Proctor's gamble
USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 11:21:31 (EDT)

I know why they have covers for the caged birds cage...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 11:20:47 (EDT)

My fantasy celebrity boxing match? no, scratch that, celebrity mud wrestling match- Avril and Britney in a hair pulling muddy scream fest.... with me as the ref that they both turn on...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 11:19:02 (EDT)

I know why the caged bird sings!
Maya Angelou
USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 11:17:31 (EDT)

Breastesses make the star.
Industry Outsider
USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 11:17:05 (EDT)

Seventeen ya say?... I better act fast before she's past her prime....
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 11:15:54 (EDT)

Maya and Oprah have merged into one totally clueless mass of what passes in their foggy mental breakdown, as sentiment/poetry.
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 11:14:03 (EDT)

Okay that FIFTEEN SECONDS comment was laughs. Hey the peek-to-lurk meter is really spinnin' now.
Amused
USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 11:12:59 (EDT)

I'm a slave for you, Willy!
Britney
USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 11:11:41 (EDT)

At least I'm nice and I don't pretend to be a bad ass punk. I dance for the man and am proud of it. I don't pretend to know how to ride a Tony Hawk ®skateboard
Britney
USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 11:10:51 (EDT)

FIONA! How did you find me. What are you some kinda stalker? Hey, that kid looks NOTHING like me!....
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 11:10:45 (EDT)

SHE IS 17!!!
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 11:10:20 (EDT)

And I just want to say AGAIN that Maya Angelou is the BEST, most ULTIMATE, AMAZING poet in the world! I identify with the plight of the African American woman! Don't belive the hype! Be who you want to be! Not who THEY tell you you have to be! Black Power!
Fiona Apple
USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 11:09:23 (EDT)

I got 2 words for me with Avril... Fifteen seconds!
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 11:08:58 (EDT)

What about me Proctor? i was SO '97 and you used to jerk off to my acceptance speech then. Was it something I said or did...?
Fiona Apple
USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 11:07:53 (EDT)

get sick if you must, but I get all in a froth when she bad mouths Britney...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 11:07:49 (EDT)

I'm a fucking poser hoser with a band that hates me. I make Gwen Stefani look punk. I got two words for me: fifteen minutes.
Avril Lavigne
Vancouver , BC CA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 11:06:12 (EDT)

oh disgusting proctor! i TOTALLY missed where you were coming from. i'm gonna go get sick now.
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 11:04:17 (EDT)

while pouting in a very sheer, very wet, very thin t-shirt... and nothing else... well maybe some fishnets...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 11:03:38 (EDT)

Gee, that would be complicated. Plus you're too old and hairy! Giggle!
Avril
USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 11:03:36 (EDT)

I think Avril should spank me...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 11:00:58 (EDT)

The Father Proctor of legendary song is oft mistaken for me by the simple minded... oh, and don't call me father... or daddy or pops for that matter...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 10:58:32 (EDT)

hey, why do you think they call me FATHER?
Proctor the Molester
USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 10:46:41 (EDT)

axl, you did look a bit cartoonish.
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 10:44:48 (EDT)

well there is something we can agree on proctor. she's fucking 17. what the fuck?!
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 10:44:05 (EDT)

Avril Lavigne makes me think bad thoughts...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 10:38:47 (EDT)

no worriez, boris knowz and mizzez proctor end mozt importantly proctor no owez boris money da. editor@. lazt time boris gave out credit card to BSAD boris got too many 'mail-order russian bride' catalogz. boris' wife very not happy da. well the ukraine girlz really knock boris out...
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 10:36:26 (EDT)

Boris, don't do it. Don't give up your identity to anyone. And if anyone on the lurk asks for your bank account and pin number please report them immediatley. Your account information is only safe with the Benny Sizzler Accounting Department.
The Monitor
USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 10:23:16 (EDT)

Just one question-did I look strange to anybody? Did I have EXTENSIONS in my hair? I don"t ever remember a think head of hair like that even when I was a youngin'. Did I look like a stuffed turkey in my football jersey? I mean, I do rock and all but I think something wasn't quite "right" I mean-I had a little Michael Jackson thing going on. Didn't I? anybody?
Axel Rose
USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 10:20:50 (EDT)

boris, there's an editor@ and info@ adress on the main page. you mean one of these or am I still foggy from the Sam Lights I drank last night?
Proctor's gamble
rumfid, ri USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 10:04:48 (EDT)

no shit. can't you two talk bidness privately? like we all want to know your shit.
jerzy grrrl <i'mbouncing@emotionallyupanddown.com>
jc, nj USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 09:42:17 (EDT)

how ze fuk did i do dat double da?
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 09:40:10 (EDT)

cool proc. email addy on main page of site that had arabic if'n youse want more advice. so boris no sully the lurk further. like that's fuckin possible. that's why the BSTC gets the BIG MONEY ; ) besides if you STILL haven't figured out who boris is it's past time...
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 09:39:40 (EDT)

i think i'm going to a party at my friend Xine's place this year. costume thoughts right now are Iron Chef and Challenger. we'll see.
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 09:36:59 (EDT)

I've got recordings and things that are triggered by motion or by sound. I have a creepy hand that starts to crawl when triggered by sound.... The other new spooky toy I got is a motion triggered Thunder storm, it not only gives the crack and boom of the thunder, it has a strobe flash that makes ya jump more than the sound.
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 09:35:00 (EDT)

http://users2.ev1.net/~prank/freescarysounds.htm
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 09:25:07 (EDT)

I decorate to an insane level for Halloween, I could use a laugh like yours... Between my looks and that laugh I could scare the bejezus out of people here... Did I tell ya I got a fog machine for this year's extravaganza?
Proctor's gamble
rumfid, ri USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 09:19:31 (EDT)

blah blah, sticks and stones can break my bones, but i'll still kick your ass jerzy style, see? SEE?!
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 09:17:31 (EDT)

OOOH! I like that evil laugh, very convincing. This evil stuff sounds like it comes awful natural to you.
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 09:15:44 (EDT)

er...HOOOO HOOOOOO HAAAAAA i mean.
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 09:14:55 (EDT)

GNR closed the show. axl had long cornrowed hair, they didn't sound bad at all - MTV is back on the rock track....it freaked my shit, they kept it totally quiet until the end. insane. Tommy Stinson and Buckethead?! man oh man! Axl Rose - singer Dizzy Reed - keyboardist/percussionist Chris Pittman - keyboardist/percussionist Tommy Stinson - bassist Paul Tobias - rhythm guitarist Robin Finck - lead guitarist Buckethead - lead guitarist Brain - drummer
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj j - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 09:12:06 (EDT)

oh, and, HOOO HAAAA HAAAA is NOT the sound of evil laughter. "MUHAH AAAHHH AAAHHH!!!" is. DUH!
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 09:07:01 (EDT)

I was out gettin soused, what happened? I caught 2 seconds worth of a clip that looked suspiciously like Kid Rock/GnR?
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 09:05:00 (EDT)

even though the sound of it is really so atrocious... (i couldn't resist)
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 09:03:04 (EDT)

c'mon! let's get this party started. did anyone catch the GnR coup on the VMA last night! one word: BUCKETHEAD!!!!! holy fucking shit!
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 09:02:10 (EDT)

well, fuckingexpifuckingalifuckingdocious for you proctor.
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 08:59:16 (EDT)

The meat world will be your only escape now. HOOO HOOOO HAAAAA!! (sound of evil laughter)
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 08:58:56 (EDT)

I'm feeling a bit supercalifragilistic myself.
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 08:56:57 (EDT)

congratufuckinglations proctor. now you and i can yell at each other 24/7. whoopee.
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 08:56:01 (EDT)

i feel like mary fucking poppins today.
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 08:53:54 (EDT)

Thank Satan and all his evil hordes it's Friday. It's even the right Friday!(I only get paid every other) Good mornin to all... boris, I'm already dodging creditors so no new box is gonna happen. Besides I hit on a bid last night. Proctor played the proxy bid to burn a couple of late bidders. I'll soon be the proud owner of a IBM 760XL w/2gig hard drive (bogus battery was the only real negative). For $260, I think got off without much vaseline being neccessary.
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 08:53:52 (EDT)

hey lurk, how is everyone? i'm glad it's a fucking long weekend after a fucking long two weeks.
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 08:48:20 (EDT)

werd to the proc..there's about to be another price war among big mfrs (gateway/dell/hp) so if youse can, youse should get new & finance that shite. xoxoxoxoxox whiteboxbo
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, August 30, 2002 at 07:11:41 (EDT)

Sammy says fingers up front and centre while poppin a smile...
Doctah B <Da-D@smeeghe.net>
USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 22:38:07 (EDT)

vell vell vell. dat'z a good-looking premierzhip table da.
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 19:01:59 (EDT)

you heard me
Franco
USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 18:31:49 (EDT)

I'm gonna go out and get stumbling blue... I'm out>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 16:57:38 (EDT)

I think you all suck and i think Benny Sizzler sucks cuz it's the worst band ever.
Franco
USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 16:45:40 (EDT)

Willy, ya gave me an idea. How about the Benny Blues Hour. Has a deceivingly posh sound to it, don't ya think?
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 16:41:36 (EDT)

I'm blue.
Willy
USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 16:35:06 (EDT)

Mommy's takin' her drink and headin' out into the meat world. Your all gonna hafta entertain yerselves by yerselves. Lurk on SUCKERS!!!!!
Mean Joe
USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 16:16:37 (EDT)

"poopy hour" umm.. le me get back with this one (stupid stupid me) How bout that Jacques soupin' up Mean Joe's Marshall fitty watt, eh? Wash out. we ain;t long but we're LOUD!
MJ
USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 16:15:07 (EDT)

huh Boris..? wha..? Whatever... ANYWAY, where were we,"sad hour?"
MJ
USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 16:12:24 (EDT)

theme? what theme? http://www.anotherboutique.com/articles/art00054.html
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 16:10:18 (EDT)

nappy hair hour? bug zappy hour? somebody stop me. please!
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 16:04:36 (EDT)

slappy hour? luv yer pappy hour?
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 16:00:33 (EDT)

How about "crappy hour" on accounta this fudge brown webbie..?
MJ
USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 15:59:01 (EDT)

MJ, it figgers. The first time I'm on the wagon two days in a row and you're off on a bender... of course, I've concluded that sober crap is strictly for the hardcore meat critters. Pass that bottle this way when your done... HEY! How about a lurk Happy Hour? Only we gotta come up with a more accurate term than Happy Hour... lurkers?
Proctor's gamble
rumfid, ri USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 15:54:53 (EDT)

HAHAHA! Much better, may I presume a somewhat personal nature to that link?... Just remember, zum dayz ya getz da bear unt zum dayz da bear getz you... da.
Proctor's gamble
rumfid, ri USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 15:50:41 (EDT)

sure 'er ya go Jerzy gurl, haf a sip of mommy's dink-a-dink..urp, hic
MJ
USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 15:47:50 (EDT)

zorry... http://www.forwolves.org/ralph/druids-deadbearcub.htm
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 15:40:43 (EDT)

boris, ya really should keep up on the posts. I suggeted we could use Turok as a convincing inbred to use as cover so we could get the whole lurk doing the "swimming pools, movie stars" bit. hell, I think the benny mascot has that sorta backwoods look to him if ya lop off his wings...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 15:25:30 (EDT)

Now this looks like a job for a real man So everybody just follow Benny Cuz we need a little Timmy verse ya'see, Cuz the lurk feels so empty without me
EmJ-inem
Middlemob, R-Eye USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 15:21:37 (EDT)

calling all warwickians: http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/variety/20020828/tv_variety/hillbillies_1
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 15:16:35 (EDT)

MJ, you've been doing the bonzai log lately. You swoop in on the lurk, slam 5 posts in three minutes, and poof you're gone. Have you been hitting the java heavy? (the bean, not the lingo).... I was thinking too, if I get a laptop can I bring it into Fantasies and get a laptop dance?
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 15:14:12 (EDT)

i'm here MJkins! can i have a sip of your drink?
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 15:09:45 (EDT)

Oh sure, I sign on and the lurk goes strangley silent. Whatsa matta, you ain'tt never seen mommy drunk before...? Come over here and give mommy a smooch...
MJ
The Den, USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 14:51:09 (EDT)

and Willington, you better get your commie self lubed up for the dye pot. Jerzy? Boris? Get back to work. What are you looking at? Where's mommy's fucking drink..?
MJ
USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 14:49:09 (EDT)

And Jacques, what did mommy tell you about those commie tubes?! They better run hotter than Kruschev on a Krutch. Do you hear me?
MJ
USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 14:47:28 (EDT)

Dear God proctor is getting a laptop...Is the late night lurk shift now open game for this man?
MJ
USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 14:45:37 (EDT)

No one must see the monster in the light of day!
MJ
Middlecave, USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 14:44:46 (EDT)

I ain't getting nothing til the dust settles. Vinyl is still the best way they have found to reproduce music and most movies out nowadays just plain suck. A beat up VCR and crapola CD player suffice for me... hell, I just got to the point where I'm seriously pricing a computer, and even there I just want an Edsel or Model T...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 13:49:10 (EDT)

lazt one of day, promize....conzumerz, prepare to once again grabbenzee yr anklez..... http://www.cnn.com/2002/TECH/ptech/08/29/dvd.format.reut/index.html
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 13:11:50 (EDT)

da, many lazt-minute bidz. normal. pluz bidderz can have eBay bid for them up to a limit. if 'zeller' haz zold over 50 tingz, they zhould be fine, and you zhould not go floating uppenzee river on your new toyboat/laptop da.
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 12:59:08 (EDT)

thanks for the feedback. Lost on the first one, the # of bids damn near doubled in the last 3 minutes. Is it always that frantic at the end? I already knew about the rating system and some things to watch out for. I like the suggestion to ask them about the battery/cord ratio. boris is clever, da....
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 12:53:00 (EDT)

finally...check the seller's rating on eBay and feedback from buyers. da. timmy jihad haz been banned from wendy'z becauze he zaid 'hold the pickle' da...
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 12:45:37 (EDT)

word processing doesn't need CPU speed or RAM unless you're penning Brothers Karamazov (da!). legal licenses for whatever software came with laptop is important too. asking them whether it was usually run on batteries or from power cord is good to know...the latter is better because that means it was more or less tethered and maybe thus less prone to droppage....
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 12:38:20 (EDT)

no accent since $ is involved...thing about laptops used is, most of all it's about having been dropped. so you have to guess which owner is less-likely to have done something stupid. you should query seller and see how fast they respond. i am on eBay for work all the time (sold $200K so far in 2002) and if the seller has their shit together they will allay all fears. ask them why they are selling it. word processing (see next post)...
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 12:33:05 (EDT)

MJ is the proud owner of a refurbished JCM 800 with brand new sovtec el34s. Lets hope the buzz ain't all fucked up.
We Are The Road Crew
What RU Fuckin HiWay 195, USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 12:31:47 (EDT)

boris, you out there? I got a couple of bids going on ebay for laptops. An IBM 560X for just over $200 and an IBM 760XL for slightly less (but with more time left on the auction). I just need a portable for mostly word processing. Any thoughts?
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 12:06:51 (EDT)

Baseball strike? those guys are still around? I only pay attention to baseball when there aren't any real sports on the tube.... I'm counting on my Vikings to break my heart again, but it's an improvement over the sominex affect of baseball...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 11:54:35 (EDT)

calling all fingers...calling all fingers...tonight two things: baseball strike and a blue noggin...word to yon lurkers, even Bore-is the lurk lounger
Willykins
USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 11:50:43 (EDT)

MJ, I thought for a while there you'd gone strictly second shift. Much better to be in lurking now so you can avoid the direct lighting of daytime...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 11:50:22 (EDT)

If only the Good Captain could figger out how to change the clock on his own vibrator...
BSTC
USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 11:35:34 (EDT)

TeeHee!
MJ
USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 11:34:16 (EDT)

Um...are there any lurk killers in the audience today? Calling all lurk killers...
MJ
USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 11:32:16 (EDT)

a real man...
MJ
USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 11:31:24 (EDT)

Has anyone else noticed the lurk clock is drifting ever further from what the meat folks call EDT? Not that I mind, but it would simplify matters if the BSTC could get Megabank Co to join in Lurk Standard Time (LST, has a nice ring to it)
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 11:22:39 (EDT)

how's the injured digit willykins?
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 11:19:17 (EDT)

El Quahog? Sounds like a bunch a clamdiggers to me... advice for the day- Don't eat the blue clams!
Proctor's gamble
rumfid, ri USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 11:18:24 (EDT)

ah yes, I'm here to kill the lurk?
Willy
USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 11:15:16 (EDT)

Middleblob control, come in please. We're missing a Benny Sizzler with un-colored hair...
Cave Canaveral
USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 10:40:56 (EDT)

Well, we seem to be having some difficulty choosing our demands. BUT don't mistake this for weakness, or bickering, or SOMEONE clinging to a particularly ridiculous demand. NO! We are not weak like you infidels. And to prove this we have chosen a target that the very thought of living without it, will give you nightmares and send a chill from one end of the state to the other! OUR TARGET... HAVEN BROTHERS!... we'll leave you to THINK about THAT for a while. HAHAHAHAHA!...
Dave Thomas
The Caves of Middleblob, RI USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 10:36:31 (EDT)

Having studied American conspicuous consumption for a lifetime, I've been able to add invaluable insight into the weaknesses of the American psyche. If our demands are not met we will strike at the heart, or should i say heart-burn, of your American appetites.... what's that? we don't have any demands ready?... uh, I'll have to get back to you on the demands....
Dave Thomas
The Caves of Middleblob, RI USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 10:12:17 (EDT)

I'm a corporate dancer, dancer for pesos...
eminem
USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 10:03:55 (EDT)

I dance for THE MAN!
eminem
USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 10:02:26 (EDT)

While I wait for the other testicle to drop, I'm gonna go jerk my quahog.
Little Timmy Tumor
USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 10:01:54 (EDT)

I somehow knew that drive-thrus would be at the root of our downfall... Speaking of terrorists, jerzy I understand they've shut down a crap load of streets in Manhattan to protect Eminem from the terrorists/critics at the MTV awards tonight. Sounds like a fun commute is ahead of ya....
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 10:00:26 (EDT)

Forgive me Allah, SPALLCHECK! you infidels have poisoned my mind so that I misspelled tutelage.
Turok
The Caves of Middleblob, RI USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 09:55:53 (EDT)

I've seen the errors of my ways and decided to join with the RIPTA Jihad. Me and my new friend Dave Thomas have begun to study under the titelage of Oslama bin Testicle. I've been asked by Timmy... er, I mean Oslama to inform you unclean lurkers that we have dropped the name RIPTA Jihad and have formed a new pure sect to be known as The El Quahog. That is all for now... Dave, is there any chili left...
Turok
The Caves of Middleblob, RI USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 09:53:34 (EDT)

MJ! it's nice to see a REAL MAN on the lurk.
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 09:14:06 (EDT)

Has anybody seen my testicles. Some bitch yanked it off and yelled something about a "fatwa on my balls."
Lil Tim
USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 08:48:30 (EDT)

Good fucking morning to the lurk. I got a testicle by the tail, I yanked it off the RIPTA Jihad
MJ
USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 08:24:44 (EDT)

no just the 'wendy'z zpecial' -- a cryogenically-prezerved guy named "dave" on a bed of lettuce. he waz kinda blue.
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 08:17:47 (EDT)

Good fuckin mornin to all. boris, that plane didn't pick up any blue haired passengers at the Wendy's drive-thru, did it?
Proctor's gamble
rimfud, ri USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 08:06:52 (EDT)

good fucking morning jerzy. to the lurk, apologiez for the ztupidezt, lamezt pozt ever lazt night. though they did catch fugitive timmy tezticle at a wendy'z driveup. in the plane.
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 07:32:49 (EDT)

it's early, i'm tired and cranky. good fucking morning lurkers. right.
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Thursday, August 29, 2002 at 06:18:38 (EDT)

da, mean jozeph boris wishez he could hang but ze police juzt clozed ze entire pizz-ant city of warwick. zome one named 'timmy tezticle' ztole un airplane and iz heading towardz how you zay 'middleblob'. hijacker zaid he didn't have buz fare, zo he iz calling it ze RIPTA Jihad da...boy you got zum fuckin batty motherfuckerz in ze middleblob da.
boris
ukrainus, - Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 18:29:26 (EDT)

Aww fuck you all too. Where' mommy's fucking drink...?
MJ
USA - Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 18:22:16 (EDT)

One old skull with tufts of rotten cotton growing willy nilly out the cranium...?
MJ
USA - Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 18:21:41 (EDT)

one two bit wench with checker board teeth...?
MJ
USA - Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 18:20:48 (EDT)

one slightly hot bitch...?
Mj
USA - Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 18:20:21 (EDT)

uh..hello...any after 5 (EST) loser lurkers out there lonely and ready to lurk with one hot bitch?
MJ
USA - Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 18:00:54 (EDT)

I just realized who Turok reminds me of. Did ya ever see that Karen Black flick Trilogy of Terror? That little voodoo critter with the knife? Take off a couple of fingers and dye the hair blue and there ya go..... I'm out>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Proctor's gamble
rumfid, ri USA - Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 16:53:35 (EDT)

Hockey? I dunno Willy, you're already down to two and a half fingers. You could end up as one-fingered Willy with just one more slip... then again, your drumming can't get that much worse.
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 16:48:35 (EDT)

I hear tell, that the city council wants to erect a statue of the gringo down on the dock, but they're arguing over whether they should portray the "pasty-white" Gringo or go with the more current look of the "darkie" Gringo....
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 16:40:03 (EDT)

willy, the one-eyed bruinz defenzeman wantz to zhoot puckz with the three-fingered left wing da. you down?
boris
ukrainus, - Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 16:31:04 (EDT)

right, another 50 pounder
Willy
USA - Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 16:18:13 (EDT)

With all the excitement about the mutant child yesterday I forgot a bit of news. The Gringo once again had a legendary sized fish on line that got away. An Atlantic Salmon of Gigoonda proportions from the descriptions....
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 15:03:04 (EDT)

BTW lurkers, I hit the Goo Goo site and planted a message to lure them on to the lurk. I don't know how often they check their board (them having actual gigs and all), but I'm gonna ply some of my considerable abilities to charm/torment them into hitting the lurk, even if it takes a log or fifty to convince em...
Proctor's gamble
rumfid, ri USA - Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 14:56:43 (EDT)

Not tonight dear, I have a sore throat.
Hanna Head
USA - Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 14:49:46 (EDT)

Really honey, I always sound like this! I don't have Strep, I SWEAR!!!
Bwanna Dick
USA - Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 14:46:03 (EDT)

Depressing news for us lovers of oral sex... NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - A bacterial infection dangerous to infants can be spread by sexual activity between men and women, particularly oral sex, new study findings show. While group B streptococcal infection (GBS) rarely makes healthy young adults sick, the bug can cause health problems for pregnant women and babies
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 14:43:39 (EDT)

i can't believe you lost the baby willy.
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 14:39:51 (EDT)

A strange diminutive creature with a tuft of blue on it's head has been seen picking through garbage cans at the local fast food franchises. This creature has so far shown an aversion to eating the trash from the dumpsters of decent restaurants for some odd reason. The same creature is believed to be responsible for soiling much of the lawn furniture in the area. Residents are advised to bring any cushioned lawn furniture in to their homes (the creature seems to have a particular attraction to couches and lounge style chairs)
The Daily Lurk
Middleblob, RI USA - Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 14:30:58 (EDT)

They ain't invented a spray that can shut me up let alone kill me off. I actually had to move a crap load of boxes in the meat world. How dare those meat creatures interfere with lurk time?!... wait, that guilty conscience doesn't have anything to do with jerzy's theory about Turok and your eating habits?... DOES IT?
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 14:23:18 (EDT)

I'm Raid like that...
Willy
USA - Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 14:15:13 (EDT)

holy guilty conscience
Willy
USA - Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 14:14:15 (EDT)

We never did figure out what happened to Turok did we? Calling all lurkers! I'm putting out an ALB, that an All Lurk Bulletin for the whereabouts of Turok. I'd describe him, but if I did who would look for him?
Proctor's gamble
rumfid, ri USA - Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 13:55:34 (EDT)

willy killz lurkz dead da...
boris
ukrainus, - Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 13:44:50 (EDT)

Well Willy, as they say opinions are like assholes everyone's got one. Me, I'm just full of opinions, ergo I'm one BIG asshole with lots to say.... by the way who d'ya thunk comes up #2?... eh, Willy...
Proctor's gamble
rumfid, ri USA - Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 11:27:31 (EDT)

hey Benny, do you think that maybe there's one individual responsible for say, uhm...90% of all posts?
Willy
USA - Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 10:51:45 (EDT)

And how do I get on the show? Hell, we should all get in on this one, we can live fat playing abrasive loudmouths with no manners. We can bring Turok to the audition. Looking like Turok does should convince them of our inbred pedigree...
Proctor's gamble
rumfid, ri USA - Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 09:49:10 (EDT)

Now this is quality TV... HOLLYWOOD (Variety) - CBS is resurrecting "The Beverly Hillbillies" as a reality series. The network will soon begin casting for a weekly half-hour series that will follow the adventures of a rural, lower-middle class family -- yes, there will be a granny -- as they are transplanted from their humble digs to a Beverly Hills mansion. The project is tentatively titled "Real Beverly Hillbillies."
Proctor's gamble
rumfid, ri USA - Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 09:44:31 (EDT)

I'm so wasted...I'm couldn't even log in last night. Plus the urk rated so HIGH yesterday there was no competin'...
Lackadaisical Lurker
USA - Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 09:34:04 (EDT)

THAT WAS IT?! I thought the lurk had a LITTLE momentum at the end of the day yesterday. I thought I'd come in to find the saga of the mutant child smeared all over the lurk. WHERE ARE THE SHITSTARTERS?... anyway, morning to the lurkers. I'm gonna go get a muffin...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Wednesday, August 28, 2002 at 07:57:54 (EDT)

I think I'm gonna make some three fingered poi for dinner... I'm out>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Proctor's gamble
rimfud, ri USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 16:55:23 (EDT)

In a much improved showing, the lurk today registered an impressive 8.2 out of 10 for exceptionally schizophrenic logs and absurd interjections. Congratulations on the disturbing quality present in today's lurk.
The Lurk Statistical Department
USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 16:53:42 (EDT)

The Dingo was out drinking with me! SHEESH! When are you people gonna start accepting responsibility for your own actions!
Smoky (Proctor's Dog)
USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 16:50:16 (EDT)

The aforementioned stain has turned out to be a bottle of Rit dye and drumsticks that have been run over. One of the local constables on the scene suspects that the mutant may have been abducted... the veracity of the officer's opinion was called into question however when he began to ramble on and on about being probed when he gets abducted every Saturday night.
The Daily Lurk
USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 16:47:47 (EDT)

MJ! i think willy ate the baby! can you do something about that?!
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 16:45:25 (EDT)

willy, did YOU eat the baby then?!
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 16:40:13 (EDT)

There has been an unconfirmed report of a smelly blue stain with three odd protuberances sticking out of it in the middle of Forest Ave. Residents are advised to keep away while The HazMat Team investigates.
The Daily Lurk
Middleblob, RI USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 16:39:36 (EDT)

I did no such thing. I have standards and TASTE BUDS, look elsewhere for your mutant child!
The Dingo
USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 16:34:24 (EDT)

word to all the lurk suggestion...has anyone seen little Baby Combover?
Willy
USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 16:22:51 (EDT)

what did you do with the baby willy? what?! the dingo ate my baby! the dingo ate my baby!
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 15:33:30 (EDT)

he iz shorter da. lotta dough though. nine + bezt-zellerz da. that iz one LONG-AZZ PIG zeriez, the Wheel of Time. 8000 pagez da....
boris
ukrainus, - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 15:31:06 (EDT)

I'm feeling awfully light-headed. I hope I'm not coming down with something... http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20020825/capt.1030306645.ballunar_liftoff_ht102.jpg
The Statue of Liberty
NY, NY USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 15:04:29 (EDT)

Bob Jorden, that's Michael's shorter and much poorer brother, right?
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 14:53:35 (EDT)

whoopzy boris' bad..that waz TurAK da...
boris
ukrainus, - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 14:52:07 (EDT)

Update- We have recieved info that the mutant may be attempting to disguise it's hideous appearance by dyeing it's hair blue to match it's damaged throbbing digit. Be wary of any blue haired creatures you may come across, ESPECIALLY if it seems to have no rhythm whatsoever.
The Daily Lurk
USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 14:50:55 (EDT)

ze High Lord Turok waz killed by ze Dragon Reborn. zorry for ze Robert Jordan reference. back to nappy now da....
boris
ukrainus, - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 14:50:30 (EDT)

An unfortunate accident seems to have happened in a basement nearby. A mutant of hideous proportions has been seen skulking around in diapers and clutching drumsticks between it's malformed digits. Residents are warned to keep their children and pets indoors until the mutant has been captured or shot.
The Daily Lurk
Middleblob, RI USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 14:44:59 (EDT)

Turok ROTS
Thats Right
USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 14:43:54 (EDT)

My parents sure produced a damn attractive baby!
Turok
USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 14:35:39 (EDT)

Alright Turok, I know you're new around here, but DON'T PEE ON THE COUCH AGAIN!!
The Monitor
USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 14:35:06 (EDT)

What the hell is this black bar across my eyes for?
Turok
USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 14:32:42 (EDT)

But boy am I GOOD LOOKIN'!
Turok
USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 14:31:07 (EDT)

How come I ain't got enuf fingers?
Turok
USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 14:30:42 (EDT)

I am Turok, first born of Gerkin Swrrrl and defender of the reptilian entities.
Turok
USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 14:29:02 (EDT)

Now, I'm in a pickle.
Gerkin Swrrrl
USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 14:26:27 (EDT)

Any replication on the lurk means instant bannishment for crimes against the universe.
Smooth Plate
No Hair No Hole, USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 14:24:30 (EDT)

I am Sparticus
Gersy Jirl
USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 14:22:19 (EDT)

quick willy! let's have a baby! http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&ncid=581&e=1&cid=581&u=/nm/20020827/tc_nm/tech_acclaim_baby_dc_1
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 14:21:10 (EDT)

I am the real JG bitches!
Jurzee Gurl
USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 14:19:47 (EDT)

uh oh, better get AICO.
The Digit Doc
YOUR ASS, USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 14:19:08 (EDT)

I have full finger coverage via Acme Insurance Co. Limited.
Willy
USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 14:16:01 (EDT)

Hey Yo, Whats up with this. You some kida ringer or somethin? http://www.bostonguitar.com/Merchant2/merchant.mv?Screen=CTGY&Store_Code=BGWI&Category_Code=NUE-JG
Will the REAL JG please...
USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 14:15:03 (EDT)

Hey Dave, we was wondering if that was you naked up in a tree at the local asylum?... See lurk at- Monday, August 26, 2002 at 09:36:16 (EDT)
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 13:45:16 (EDT)

you know, last night i was thinking that you all are probably misinformed about me y'all heard me talk about the lamest shit (phil colins, britney...) hope you all know that i am one kick ass faggot and that phill collins only enters my life (and me) every once in a while. i am a faggot that loves the rock and roll!!!! and now i am a faggot that loves bonnie tyler, and the chainsaw kittens. i think i only like bonnie tyler cuz of jim steinman, cuz you know.......he kicks ass! o.k so there it is! yay
dave the fag <nighloooky@hotmail.com>
saskatoon, sk canada - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 13:42:14 (EDT)

Will that be cash or indentured slavery?
The Surgeon
USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 13:42:13 (EDT)

I'm sorry it seems that there was a recent lapse in payments on that policy. We will be glad to consider him again for a policy as soon as his current ailment has been tended to.
The Insurance Agent
Benny Lurk & Casualty Co., USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 13:41:26 (EDT)

Doesn't anybody spall your name right... NEW YORK (AP) - Want to be in a movie with Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez? Kevin Smith wants to give you a chance. The writer-director is recruiting extras for his upcoming movie "Jersey Girl" through his View Askew Web site.
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 13:19:35 (EDT)

Well maybe we can save him. what kinda coverage does he have?
The Surgeon
USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 13:03:49 (EDT)

NO!!! don't put him down!!! he can be saved!!!! PUHLEEEZE doc! cantcha save'em?!!?
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 12:54:28 (EDT)

I think it might be simpler to just put him down.
The Surgeon
USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 12:38:04 (EDT)

OFF WITH HIS MALFORMED DIGIT!
The Queen of Hearts
Wonderland, USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 12:05:41 (EDT)

you'll be hearing from my surgeon
Wilford R. Brimley
USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 12:01:12 (EDT)

Oh I'm sorry lurk. I thought we were talking about Wilfred's tresses, not his hideously malformed third digit...
Johnny Goo
USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 11:55:52 (EDT)

Wiilfred, why don't you try "Untamed Sequins" by Clairol? Ask my hairdresser. He knows for sure.
Johnny Goo
Buffalo, NY USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 11:55:00 (EDT)

noted...NOTED!
Willy
USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 11:16:29 (EDT)

DARK BLUEY-GREEN
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 11:01:09 (EDT)

A gangrenous grayish-purple... but the lurk does have rather poor lighting....
Proctor's gamble
rumfid, ri USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 10:43:49 (EDT)

I hear ya Onion. Soon as there's a stink about, ya know who they look to for cover.
Smoky (Proctor's Dog)
USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 10:40:59 (EDT)

my finger...MY FINGER! anyway, I ask the lurk: BLUE or PURPLE? I know certain opinions already...
Willy
USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 10:39:52 (EDT)

Did ya have to drag me into this?
The Onion
Boneyard's Past, USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 10:38:39 (EDT)

The sight of those boys was bad enuf, but the SMELL!!... not to mention the stains... even the onion was sweeter on the nose!
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 10:37:24 (EDT)

you know, i don't want the world to see me, cuz i don't think that they'll understand....
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 10:35:03 (EDT)

It's a case of much a-goo-goo about nothing...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 10:33:43 (EDT)

Didn't The Carpenters cover that tune and call it Hold Me Dowel?
Proctor's gamble
rumfid, ri USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 10:32:09 (EDT)

hello? did someone just mention the goo goo dolls? um....?
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 10:30:24 (EDT)

Is this where I catch the Jefferson Airplane?
another dirty hippie
middleblob airport, USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 10:29:09 (EDT)

dude man can i borrow your shower?
a dirty hippie in air traffic
USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 10:25:17 (EDT)

good day for ztirring of doodoo, da....boris rememberz zee Jay-Z verzion called "Ho's! Me down!" da..
boris
ukrainus, - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 10:10:49 (EDT)

now see boris, it's that accent of yours that confused me. If your gonna be in this lurk you really should learn to speak the language... Goo Goos huh, I seem to remember them. At a certain household to be unnamed, they were passed out in mixture of spilled draft beer and their own personal slime (on more than one occasion). Obviously the makings of a popular rock-n-roll band...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 10:01:39 (EDT)

Ahh...this is Middletown ATC, we got some dirty hippies and a one Timmy Tumor making a hell of a ruckus down the end of zero four zero...
MIddletown Air Traffic Control
USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 09:59:11 (EDT)

Mornin' Lurkers. Re: the Goo Goo dolls lyrics. Sure, yeah, whatever, Boneyard is immortalized in a GooGooDolls song but we're the drunks that shot right to the top!
MJ
USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 09:56:41 (EDT)

A real man...
MJ
USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 09:54:16 (EDT)

Am I to be cooked on or writ upon?
The Stove/Desk
WILLY'S KITCHEN, USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 09:53:52 (EDT)

RE: GOO. I seem to recall that when "Hold Me Up" came out our four local losers simutaniously released something entitled "Hose Me Down." Pretty much sums up the whole sitch. eh.
Mamory Lane Revisited
R.O.C.K. down Basement 4eva, USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 09:42:23 (EDT)

da...www.musicfanclubs.org/googoodolls/lyrics/HoldMeUp.htm#ootr
boris
ukrainus, - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 08:50:42 (EDT)

or it waz a reference to zee ongoing grape ape converzation. not to mention timmy tumor waz ze zoundman in ze airfield...
boris
ukrainus, - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 08:39:57 (EDT)

boris, if you read your own posts you'd know that the list tells you to shit-can ALL Dead recordings... just what we need, another sloppy poster bringing down the rating of the lurk...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 08:23:40 (EDT)

i juzt bought a rarity that iz not on zee '100 recordz to get rid of' lizt. it iz by zee Grapeful Dead, live in zome middletown airfield da. it completely zuckz.
boris
ukrainus, - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 07:46:20 (EDT)

Anybody see a black digit lying around?
B Basts
USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 23:08:12 (EDT)

Wrap the night around Benny Sizzler and embrace each otha
G Apes
USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 23:07:24 (EDT)

BENNY SIZZLER IS LIKE CORN IN MY STOOL-HARD TO FLUSH
BOBBY BASTARD
Braintree, MAss USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 22:25:16 (EDT)

SOMEBODY "borrowed" the Grape Ape reference from SOMEBODY else.
SOMEONE in the know
USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 20:39:00 (EDT)

But if YOU are responsible for the grape ape and corn nuggets then I'll let it slide this time.
MJ
USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 19:07:59 (EDT)

Hey Willy, it's hoseheads like you that bring the MEAN average of the lurk down to 5. That g'damned wedgie story was posted earlier in the day already. See what happens when you aren't real keerful when you skim the lurk? Now bow down before my purple pubis.
MJ
USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 19:06:58 (EDT)

the sentence should be harsher for attending a PHISH concert
Judge W. N. Budge
USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 17:20:35 (EDT)

2 years to life
Judge Dred
USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 17:19:44 (EDT)

Whats the maximum sentence for a wedgie?
G. Apes
USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 17:07:13 (EDT)

this just in: Man accused in wedgie case - - - - - - - - - - - - Associated Press Aug. 26, 2002 | LOWER SOUTHAMPTON, Pa. (AP) -- A man accused of trying to kill a friend who gave him a "wedgie" will stand trial on an attempted murder charge, a judge ruled. Daniel Strouss, 19, was attending a Phish concert last year when Eric Kassoway sneaked up behind him and yanked up his underwear, according to testimony at a hearing Thursday. Strouss, of Richboro, held a grudge for months before shooting Kassoway on June 12, authorities said. On the night of the shooting, Strouss drove to Kassoway's home and waited until Kassoway came home, then shot him in the arm and leg, authorities said. Kassoway nearly died from loss of blood. Strouss' attorney, Al Cepparulo, said he did not dispute the prosecution's version of events. "This is a tragedy for the victim. All I can say is my client is going through therapy," he said last week.
Willy
USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 16:58:33 (EDT)

I think I'm gonna have some corn chowda with purple nachos for dinner... I'm out>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 16:55:54 (EDT)

OK, upon further commentary the official lurk rating for the day will be 5.0, but don't expect that kind of leniency all the time.
The Lurk Statistical Department
USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 16:54:11 (EDT)

I am The Grape Cornholio, vanquisher of niblets and conqueror of corn dogs!!
The Grape Cornholio
USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 16:52:18 (EDT)

Does my corn comment lift us to a 5.0?
Grape Ape
USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 16:50:16 (EDT)

Today's lurk rated a fair 4.6 out of 10. There was some good content, but meager banter. We at LSD will be checking in from time to time to act as judge and jury to rate the lurk. And although our decisions are final and above reproach, we welcome venomous responses and pointless counter-points.
The Lurk Statistical Department
USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 16:49:00 (EDT)

If'n you call corn jimmies.
Grape Ape
USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 16:48:58 (EDT)

If'n you call corn jimmies.
Grape Ape
USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 16:48:17 (EDT)

Does that swirly come with jimmies?
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 16:35:03 (EDT)

anybody up for a purple nurple swirlie? talk to MJ
Willy
USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 16:05:15 (EDT)

And just in case that's not hippy enuf for ya, I also picked up a 2CD set of Sandy Denny. Put THAT in your hooka and check out the colors...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 15:59:12 (EDT)

Anybody seen Janice around?
Pig Pen
USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 15:53:38 (EDT)

Going back to the 100 albums you should dump, I picked up the new (old) Grateful Dead CD called Steppin out with the Grateful Dead- England '72. most excellent, groovy 4CD set, Pig Pen is at his best here. Mr Charlie never was done any better and it may sound ridiculous but there's a 20 min. version of Good Loving that kicks ass. If you got dead to dump I'll take it. (zappa and beefheart too)
Proctor's gamble
rumfid, ri USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 15:50:29 (EDT)

Gee! Good thing us lurkers don't have this problem... CHICAGO (Reuters Health) - When the going gets tough, many stressed-out Web surfers go "cyberslacking," according to the results of a new study. Researchers say that a small minority of Internet users may spend hours online in a compulsive effort to avoid life's anxieties. "Procrastination, low productivity, social withdrawal and relationship difficulties" were common among those spending an unhealthy amount of time on the Web, report researchers led by graduate student Richard Davis of York University in Toronto, Ontario.
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 14:56:57 (EDT)

I believe it's obligatory that at this time I say, EAT ME!
The Mousse
USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 14:32:56 (EDT)

But I didn't eat the mousse!
B Bast
USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 14:21:06 (EDT)

Let me tell you this and let me tell you that. Well you're dead now Bobby Bastard so shut up.
G. Reaps
South of Heaven, - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 13:53:31 (EDT)

nothing like a lunch of cheese wedgies to alter the way you look at the whole day...
Proctor's gamble
rumfid, ri USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 13:29:13 (EDT)

What, everybody at LUNCH? hosers
B Basts
USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 13:22:48 (EDT)

Jacques, you ignorant slut
BOBBY BASTARD
USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 12:39:59 (EDT)

How does your wedgie taste? How about trying Wedgies Cheeky Cheese Flavour Snax... http://www.taquitos.net/snacks/detail/index.php?snack_code=709
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 12:37:38 (EDT)

Think at your own risk, it may lead to independent thought and direction. This invariably causes much confusion when interacting with the meat by-products that in most circles pass as humans...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 12:28:44 (EDT)

Okay now THAT is the best news story I have read. Real drama, revenge, self esteem, and wedgies - all yanked up in a tight little tale. Thank you.
Jaqués
Anger Management Class, USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 12:23:10 (EDT)

Wubbawubba goes way wubba back before JB, but puke if you must...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 12:22:32 (EDT)

your name here
The Meteor
USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 12:20:34 (EDT)

I need a 20 question test to tell me what I think.
I've got a meteor with your name on it.
- Monday, August 26, 2002 at 12:18:34 (EDT)

http://www.salon.com/people/wire/2002/08/26/wedgie/index.html
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 12:15:22 (EDT)

JULIE BROWN?!!? puke.
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 11:35:00 (EDT)

wubbawubbawubba
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 11:24:45 (EDT)

jerzy, I had much the same results as you on the god quiz. how the hell do they figure those percentages? jehovah's witness should have turned up as a negative number on my results...
Proctor's gamble
rumfid, ri USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 11:17:46 (EDT)

yammeryammeryammer
Willy
USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 11:16:02 (EDT)

er...sorry about that. my results from the quiz follow the link.
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 10:24:18 (EDT)

http://beliefnet.com/story/76/story_7665_1.html 1. Unitarian Universalism (100%) 2. Secular Humanism (88%) 3. Neo-Pagan (84%) 4. Liberal Quakers (83%) 5. Theravada Buddhism (78%) 6. New Age (77%) 7. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (75%) 8. Mahayana Buddhism (67%) 9. New Thought (61%) 10. Nontheist (61%) 11. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (60%) 12. Scientology (58%) 13. Taoism (47%) 14. Orthodox Quaker (44%) 15. Reform Judaism (44%) 16. Hinduism (44%) 17. Bahá'í Faith (38%) 18. Jainism (37%) 19. Jehovah's Witness (33%) 20. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (30%) 21. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (30%) 22. Sikhism (28%) 23. Eastern Orthodox (20%) 24. Islam (20%) 25. Orthodox Judaism (20%) 26. Roman Catholic (20%) 27. Seventh Day Adventist (15%)
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 10:23:07 (EDT)

Did I leave my house this weekend?
Sid
USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 10:01:24 (EDT)

believe it or not that "Mean Hoe" thing was a fucking typo. But an appropriate one, hey? Anyway-Boris, tonight we pinch the lurk, no? Thank ye for the lurkive. Oh, and Willy? quit yer yammerin'
Mean Joe
USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 10:00:35 (EDT)

before I head out into the meat world just thought i'd drop a log and say hey to the 9 to 5ers. Was a lonely weekend without ye. Willy quit yer yammerin'. Jerzy, welcome back, Proctor, that shit is funny, Daveget out of that tree and jacques, where you at?
Mean Hoe
USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 09:57:20 (EDT)

Yup...a real man....
Mean Joseph
USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 09:55:05 (EDT)

Been to any BBQs Dave?... SASKATOON, Saskatchewan (Reuters) - Canadian prison officials have launched a probe into a barbecue held at a Saskatoon psychiatric facility following reports that potentially violent inmates dined on steak, climbed trees and stripped naked.
Proctor's gamble
rumfid, ri USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 09:36:16 (EDT)

did i play a reunion gig this weekend/?
Sid
USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 09:15:10 (EDT)

Mornin all, two days off is not enuf. I think it's time to come up with a scam to at least fake being independently wealthy. This w**k crap is interfering with quality time which could be spent sleeping, lurking, or chasing impressionable young women... hell, they have those guys on 20/20 who faked having all kinds of dough for years, why not me?... Well, I'm off to research flim-flam schemes...
Proctor's gamble
rumfid, ri USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 08:23:17 (EDT)

so, willy didn't scare ME off...just had to take a few personal days...I hope that's okay with the lurk. sorry i couldn't give a few days notice...sometimes life throws us a curve ball.
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 07:20:58 (EDT)

What kind of protein stain is THAT?
Stainly Steemer
USA - Monday, August 26, 2002 at 00:31:36 (EDT)

I said where's my fucking drink?
MJ
The floor, USA - Sunday, August 25, 2002 at 22:26:45 (EDT)

Benny says Sid is HOT! Long live the H20Bros
Benny Sizzler
basement, USA - Sunday, August 25, 2002 at 14:03:42 (EDT)

It's a BIG WORLD so welcome to it
The Sid fanclub
Waterbros, USA - Sunday, August 25, 2002 at 11:05:23 (EDT)

Dave tha Fag, I owe you an email. Mommy's been busy with the pool boy. Will you forgive me? Come over here and give mommy a little smooch, would ya..? Where's my fucking drink...
MJ
USA - Saturday, August 24, 2002 at 22:13:14 (EDT)

aww...i love you all!! god bless the lurk! always a treat when work needs to be ignored!! that is all
dave the fag
saskafuckingtoon, sk canada - Saturday, August 24, 2002 at 18:43:36 (EDT)

Down with music.
Sequined stud
USA - Saturday, August 24, 2002 at 09:48:28 (EDT)

How about removing all music from your collection. Starting with Benny Sizzler.
S. Starter
USA - Saturday, August 24, 2002 at 09:47:44 (EDT)

"One Hundred Albums You Should Remove from Your Collection Immediately " ... http://www.jaguaro.org/feature/03-09-02_wesk.shtml
boris
ukrainus, - Saturday, August 24, 2002 at 07:35:49 (EDT)

Eat me Benny
Sierra Starter
USA - Saturday, August 24, 2002 at 00:16:23 (EDT)

Benny Sizzler shouldn't quit their night jobs.
Frankie
USA - Friday, August 23, 2002 at 22:30:03 (EDT)

Aren't you guys a little old for this?
Lars
USA - Friday, August 23, 2002 at 22:29:11 (EDT)

you guys should play something you know
Stevie B.
USA - Friday, August 23, 2002 at 22:15:27 (EDT)

Benny sizzler sucks
Bobby Bastard
USA - Friday, August 23, 2002 at 22:14:56 (EDT)

SKEERED I said, SKEERED!
MJ
USA - Friday, August 23, 2002 at 19:11:37 (EDT)

Willy I think you done skeered Jennifer AND Jerzy girl off
MJ
USA - Friday, August 23, 2002 at 18:22:14 (EDT)

I'm gonna hit the One-Up tonight, wet the hair on my balls, and stand on my head with my pants off and see if I'm mistaken for Willy.... HAHAHAHA!... I'm out>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Friday, August 23, 2002 at 16:52:48 (EDT)

Willy has secretly longed to be like me for years. If he loses two more fingers the transition will be complete
Proctor's Scrotum
USA - Friday, August 23, 2002 at 16:33:53 (EDT)

Willy's hair matches my balls
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Friday, August 23, 2002 at 16:10:58 (EDT)

my ass will remain pasty white...but my noggin'...ooo la la!
Willy
USA - Friday, August 23, 2002 at 16:09:34 (EDT)

maybe jerzy accidently deleted herself along with her photo.
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Friday, August 23, 2002 at 16:01:34 (EDT)

Ass Blue
The colorist
USA - Friday, August 23, 2002 at 15:49:24 (EDT)

Where's Jerzy?!!
The Inquisitor
USA - Friday, August 23, 2002 at 14:47:19 (EDT)

I don't know why I'm feeling so blue today....
Mrs Bendleschmidst's pubes
USA - Friday, August 23, 2002 at 13:59:42 (EDT)

Don't get testy, you were early for your appointment and just have to wait while we finish dyeing Mrs Bendleschmidst's pubes.
The Colorist
USA - Friday, August 23, 2002 at 13:56:39 (EDT)

I SAID COLOR MY NOGGIN A DEEPER SHADE OF AQUAMARINE!
Willy
USA - Friday, August 23, 2002 at 13:53:46 (EDT)

Was I issued the standard equipment?... In their wildly popular stage show, the well-endowed Australians twist and shape their penises into a series of "installations" -- a hamburger, the Eiffel Tower, the Loch Ness monster... http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&cid=638&ncid=762&e=1&u=/nm/20020823/en_nm/leisure_puppets_dc_2
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Friday, August 23, 2002 at 12:54:27 (EDT)

this ain't a log, it's a friggin twig.
peanut gallery
USA - Friday, August 23, 2002 at 12:28:29 (EDT)

I flew into the earth 3.47 BILLION years ago and boy are my arms tired... http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&u=/020823/161/23eey.html
Zircon
Earth Slam, - Friday, August 23, 2002 at 11:43:14 (EDT)

http://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/pics7/A-C-MarsTN/_44connietites.html
Space Babes
Intergalactic - Friday, August 23, 2002 at 11:36:43 (EDT)

didn't timmy tumor zing the choruz 'date rape baby date rape?'
boris
ukrainus, - Friday, August 23, 2002 at 11:25:56 (EDT)

We probably could raise a few bucks recycling those giant tater heads too...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Friday, August 23, 2002 at 10:59:34 (EDT)

I'm wrinkled, dirty, musty, and have eyes all over my skin. Still feel hungry?
Mr Potato Head
The Bucket, RI USA - Friday, August 23, 2002 at 10:56:31 (EDT)

This is so ridiculous I just might have to get one... "Mr. Potato Head soon will appear on a special license plate in Rhode Island, state officials said on Thursday as they unveiled the plate design. Proceeds from the $40 license plates will go to the Rhode Island Community Food Bank to help feed the estimated 20,000 people who experience hunger in the state, officials said. The plates, due to appear in January, feature an image of the mustachioed tuber next to the words "Help End Hunger."
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Friday, August 23, 2002 at 10:52:16 (EDT)

well color my hair blue
WIlly
USA - Friday, August 23, 2002 at 10:45:21 (EDT)

Something ROTTEN this way comes...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Friday, August 23, 2002 at 09:28:17 (EDT)

Okay dat crazy alphabet (what be it?) be still crackin' me duh fuck up. What and WHO be responsible fo' dat shit. dat be some funny shit. I like dat shit MJ USA - dursday, August 22, 2002 at 22:42:42 (EDT)
Proctor's gamble <theebonics@crapolatranslator>
rumfud, ri USA - Friday, August 23, 2002 at 09:27:17 (EDT)

No matter how you spell it. You all still ROT
Little Timmy
USA - Friday, August 23, 2002 at 09:24:02 (EDT)

Okayyay atthay azycray alphabetyay (atwhay isyay ityay?) isyay illstay ackingcray emay ethay uckfay upyay. Atwhay andyay OWHAY isyay esponsibleray orfay atthay itshay. Atthay isyay omesay unnyfay itshay. IYAY ikelay atthay itshay MJ USAYAY - Ursdaythay, Augustyay 22, 2002 atyay 22:42:42 (EDTYAY)
Octor'spray amblegay
umfudray, ri USA - Friday, August 23, 2002 at 09:18:49 (EDT)

ØĶąŷ ťĥąť çŗążŷ ą1þĥąbĕť (ŵĥąť ī§ īť?) ī§ §ťī11 çŗąçĶīÑģ Mĕ ťĥĕ ƒųçĶ ųþ. Ŵĥąť ąÑď ŴHØ ī§ ŗĕ§þðÑ§īb1ĕ ƒðŗ ťĥąť §ĥīť. Tĥąť ī§ §ðMĕ ƒųÑÑŷ §ĥīť. Ĩ 1īĶĕ ťĥąť §ĥīť /\/\Ĵ Ű§Ă - Tĥųŗ§ďąŷ, Ăųģų§ť 22, 2002 ąť 22:42:42 (ĘĐT)
Proctor's gamble
rumfid, ri USA - Friday, August 23, 2002 at 09:12:35 (EDT)

Oddly enough a large concentration of these particles was found on the lurk... STOCKHOLM (Reuters) - Swedish scientists have found a tiny, mysterious particle in the spinal marrow fluid which may be a new form of life and which could help explain the cause of schizophrenia.
Proctor's gamble
rumfid, ri USA - Friday, August 23, 2002 at 09:09:22 (EDT)

mornin to all, and thank the lurk it's a friday morn. MJ, I'm hurt, I though you read my posts. The wacked alpha-bits is from a link to degraeve.com, check their crapola web tranlator (yes, that's what they call it). Ya might recognize a few of the pics of the day too... the pig latin translator is a goof too...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Friday, August 23, 2002 at 08:19:20 (EDT)

The ass
Blow Me
USA - Friday, August 23, 2002 at 00:38:37 (EDT)

Okay that crazy alphabet (what is it?) is still cracking me the fuck up. What and WHO is responsible for that shit. That is some funny shit. I like that shit
MJ
USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 22:42:42 (EDT)

Van City smears RULE!!!!!!
Grant's Aunt
East Coast, USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 22:41:05 (EDT)

calling from the wet coast of canada, checking out the sizzler !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! rock on gail and chill
grant <hotrodhunnies@yahoo.ca>
vancouver, bc canada - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 21:32:54 (EDT)

TTT flick: book (and poster) implied they were cirith ungol and barad-dur. OR barad-dur and minas tirith. movie implies b-d and saruman's (christopher lee) isengard which is wrong. have few beefs with first flick except they booted the tinuviel bit but TTT may have it. biggest buzz i know about TTT is helm's deep battle is over 45 minutes which could make braveheart look like fookin' sesame street.
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 18:51:43 (EDT)

I'm out>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 16:53:30 (EDT)

no spallcheck necessary, psycho just seemed more appropriate than psyche
Proctor's gamble
rumfud , ri USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 16:47:14 (EDT)

I love cheesy psychodelia... Zager and Evans, In The Year 2525 (Exordium & Terminus)
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 16:40:52 (EDT)

softball IS a relative term, and I was gonna suggest you pair up fingers with your uncle from New Zealand, but I guess that still leaves you short handed... er, short fingered
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 16:38:42 (EDT)

I am still the lonliest number.
ONE
USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 16:38:33 (EDT)

when the lurk hits 2525, will Willy still be alive...if Willy can survive...
Willy
USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 16:37:55 (EDT)

...And then there were 2.
Number 2
USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 16:36:58 (EDT)

one of the BIG THREE has officially fallen...2 fingered Willy ensues...tic toc tic toc tic tic tic tac
Willy
USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 16:31:46 (EDT)

boris have you seen the new teaser poster of The Two Towers on the Lord of the Rings site?
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 16:20:22 (EDT)

Wilbur, when did you lose those fingers?
Mr ED
USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 16:00:54 (EDT)

anybody seen me?
silverfish
USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 15:55:05 (EDT)

zolving der problemz for all der wrong reazonz da! der yard mit der bonez ztill rulez. boris played dat one yezterday. loudly da. der ztripperz were zcared da.
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 15:22:05 (EDT)

now THAT'S funny!
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 15:07:45 (EDT)

wasn't suggesting I knew bo from diddly (bo from diddly, haha I like it) I just thought dropping zee zees was more notable than a blurry jerzy border shot... although from ZEE last post I may have jumped the gun on the zilly accent...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 15:02:34 (EDT)

¥ea?hˆ wˆe11 I˜ hˆa?fifieÑed t› fieeK¸ i¯Ñ yˆ›u?r¸ bedr¸››M wˆi¯Ñd›wˆ a?Ñd §ee ¥ØU´´® u?Ñfir¸›teçted ç›fiyˆ i¯Ñ ƒu?11 u?§e a?Ñd ƒr¸a?ÑK¸1yˆ, wˆe11. I˜ hˆa?Ve t› g¸› Ñ›wˆ. Gˆr¸eg¸g¸er¸§ fiE?E?K¸AßØØ, U´´§A - Thˆu?r¸§da?yˆ, Jˆu?1yˆ 18, 2002 a?t 13:02:55 (E??T)
greggers
USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 15:02:24 (EDT)

jˆer¸z?yˆ, I˜ thˆi¯ÑK¸ yˆu?r¸ i¯ç u?ti¯Ñg¸ jˆu?§t g¸t bu?Med t thˆe ba?çK¸ a?g¸e byˆ a? ba?d r¸u?§§i¯a?Ñ a?ççeÑt... L¸ØÑGˆ L¸I˜\/E? ZE?E?.. §, L¸ØÑGˆ L¸I˜\/E? THE? L¸U´´®K¸! r¸çtr¸'§ g¸a?Mb1e r¸u?Mƒu?d, r¸i¯ U´´§A - Thˆu?r¸§da?yˆ, Au?g¸u?§t 22, 2002 a?t 14:44:38 (E??T) ------------------------------------------------------------------------
Killing an Arab
R. Smith, USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 14:58:59 (EDT)

warwick zuckz da. proctor haz no idea who boris iz zo don't front.
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 14:54:58 (EDT)

jerzy, I think your pic outing just got bumped to the back page by a bad russian accent... LONG LIVE ZEE.. oops, LONG LIVE THE LURK!
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 14:44:38 (EDT)

to proc, da. no good apartments left in bag end. to the most reverend will, we loves you and wants to bear your childrens. pain in the ass to keep removing the 's' from fake goddam russian goddam accents anyway, love, the americanized bo
boris
ukrainus, - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 14:36:13 (EDT)

dis Sandy Lane address, dis iz boris?
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 14:33:35 (EDT)

hey Benny, strange thing...haven't read nuttin' from our pal Jennifer in DC...
Willard
USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 14:32:42 (EDT)

looks like Boris may be a regular lurker...this should be exciting
one eyed Willy
USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 14:27:53 (EDT)

takes a few seconds to load but it is a quicky translate. click on the log when it comes up... http://www.degraeve.com/scripts/babel2/babel.cgi?d=ultraleet&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.bennysizzler.com%2Fmain.html
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 14:20:56 (EDT)

da in arabic is 'ad'. it ain't the letters as much as that stupid right-to-left shit. whoops, accent slipped again... www.tinuviel.com/arabic.html . have fun.
boris
ukraine, - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 14:17:39 (EDT)

How DO you say da in arabic?
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 14:06:44 (EDT)

Boris has an arabic accent? I'm gonna have to go watch a bunch of Hogan's Heroes re-runs, I musta missed something...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 13:59:46 (EDT)

anyone got a swatter i can kill this fucking GNAT with? all day trying to fucking translate fucking arabic and fucking dickless will is taunting me and some fucking NARD is impersonating me and some other NADLESS WUNDERKIND keeps adding retarded post after retarded post. jeeZUS H KEEEEEERIST! whoops my accent slipped. da. d'oh!
the REAL bo
ukrainus, - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 13:48:29 (EDT)

Has anyone got a couch I can pee on?
The Brat
USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 13:43:15 (EDT)

Has anyone got a floor I can lay on?
The Mat
USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 13:41:55 (EDT)

Has anyone got a rack I can hang on?
The Hat
USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 13:38:50 (EDT)

I'm sorry I've posted a similar log already
The Bat
USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 13:30:55 (EDT)

Hey anyone got a kitchen I can hang out in?
The Bat
USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 13:29:31 (EDT)

ztop it! I waz shnoozink from zee readink ov my favreicht writer, da zee ernezt iz da mad uppenzee for inzomnea
borish
USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 12:36:23 (EDT)

the peek to log ratio peaked yesterday, but the peekers have been outpacing loggers at an inclining ratio through the lurk today... does that sound official enuf?
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 12:31:47 (EDT)

anyone seen BORE-is? that fool!
Willy's willy
USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 12:13:38 (EDT)

Holy counter spinning! BORIS! What's the peek to log ratio now Proctor?
BSTC
USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 12:07:47 (EDT)

I have to moisten hourly!
Blew Haired Lady
USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 12:06:56 (EDT)

Listen Willard, I asked for a spallcheck and that's what I got so why don't you fuck oof. Yeah that's right, I said OOF!
Hair E. Dresser
USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 12:06:02 (EDT)

I been diddled!
The Damaged Digit
USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 11:47:55 (EDT)

LIKE nice on me? you fool!
Willard with the Finger
USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 11:41:41 (EDT)

yes JG and the finger too? er...right...color me BLUE!
Willy
USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 11:40:22 (EDT)

I saw Willy wet his hair. It blue.
The Critic
USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 11:11:50 (EDT)

YOO HOO! Willy, I have a blue haired surprise for you in my depends.
The Blue Haired Lady
USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 11:09:54 (EDT)

Benny Sizzler needs to play something they know
Stevie B
USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 11:08:43 (EDT)

"Fool's Blue" would like nice on you.
Hair E. Dresser
Split Ends, USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 11:08:09 (EDT)

Kiss me!
It
USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 11:06:55 (EDT)

poor willy, want me to kiss it and make it better?
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 11:03:35 (EDT)

awww. you think i'm "hot". well, thanks.
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 11:02:06 (EDT)

you try typing with a smashed finger
Willy
USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 10:58:16 (EDT)

holy shiite the bat DID write in...i'll damned...hey, anyone for blue hair?
Willy
USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 10:57:12 (EDT)

This lurk is bordering on the ridiculous.
Proctor's gamble
rumfid, ri USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 10:44:15 (EDT)

Good evening Mr and Mrs America, from BORDER to BORDER and coast to coast and all the ships at sea. Let’s go to press.
Walter Winchell
USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 10:43:12 (EDT)

News Flash-- CHICAGO (Reuters) - They say diamonds are forever. And now the dearly departed can be, too. A Chicago company says it has developed a process for turning cremated human remains into diamonds that can be worn as jewelry.
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 10:41:26 (EDT)

The sun will not shine on any country that has BORDERS with ours.
Herodotus
Greece - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 10:28:28 (EDT)

I'm bored.
Barry Boring
USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 10:27:22 (EDT)

uhh...anybody got a kitchen I can hang around in...?
The bat
USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 10:21:16 (EDT)

That Jerzy GAL is HOT! Border or not!
The Benny Broad Bureau
Bennyland, USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 10:20:20 (EDT)

but I NEED a place to stay
The Boarder
USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 09:35:15 (EDT)

jerzy, I've reformed. I've decided that it's my calling to help create a borderless society...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 09:24:08 (EDT)

and why do you have to get personal? those are not poorly shot photos...damn kid!
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 09:23:22 (EDT)

Do you have piles of snapshots just sitting in drawers around your house. HELLO PEOPLE! you have got to liberate those photos and show a little color. I mean, would you be able to live with an unadorned window? No, of course not. A window is just a hole without some nice vertical blinds or window treatments. So get those photos and let's see what we can do to take those drab shots and make them into a saucy highlights that will have your guests drooling.
Christopher Lowell
USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 09:21:38 (EDT)

don't oppress me, proctor.
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 09:21:32 (EDT)

I'VE BEEN FRAMED!
Buddy Cianci
The Hoosegow, USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 08:59:52 (EDT)

We at FABIA have dedicated ourselves to improving the pictures and photographs of Americans for over fifty years now. We've helped thousands of people find happiness and familial bliss through the colorful addition of decorative borders and frames to their pictures and we are pleased to report that because of the genorosity of people like you, we expect to be around for future generations to learn of the joys of borders and frames. You can join FABIA at a framing store or photo shop somewhere near you. We have chapters in 49 of the 50 states (Our entry into New Jersey has been met with inexplicable resistance), so you too can be a part of the team. Again, we thank you for your support.
The Chairman
The Framing And Borders Institute of America, USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 08:56:57 (EDT)

Without borders, what would be the point of homeland security?
Altwhoo Goezthair
The Border Patrol, USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 08:27:52 (EDT)

Mornin to the lurk. I've decided to form a new politically correct social organization PROCTOR'S WITHOUT BORDERS. It's going to be dedicated to the prevention of borders, frames, or any artistic edge enhancements being added to the pooorly shot and ridiculously posted pictures of overly sensitive female types from that place right next to New York...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 08:19:36 (EDT)

MJ, you missed me outting myself? that bearded animal that poor smoky ruined it for everyone. i will forward it to you, then you too can be horrified by my gross disfigurations and inability to apply mascara correctly - just call me tammy faye.
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Thursday, August 22, 2002 at 06:24:03 (EDT)

My bells and whistles are open game.
Man Janesfield
Bitch City, USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 23:55:45 (EDT)

Welcome, Jennifer, you have entered the world of the lurk...log on...
Benny Sizzler
Basement, USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 21:30:19 (EDT)

anytime noWilly
boris
ukrainus, - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 20:50:43 (EDT)

thanks BOREis very fucking enlightening
Willy
USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 19:38:26 (EDT)

bushie zay eaze der loggen da... http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&cid=514&ncid=514&e=6&u=/ap/20020821/ap_on_go_pr_wh/bush_logging_4
boris
ukrainus, - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 19:33:07 (EDT)

I've sustained a softball injury and I don't mean a soft injury in the balls. That happened long ago.
Willy
USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 19:24:36 (EDT)

Newcomer here! [slap!] Just wanted to say, "Hi" from oh, a couple hundred feet from the White House. [slap!] Nothing's going on in D.C. but I [slap!] sure wish I had some more Benny Sizzler to listen to! [slap!] Man! Trying to get into the groove of the previous posts is like jumping in on double-dutch. I'm getting my head whapped.
Jennifer Mansard <beachhearted@yahoo.com>
VA USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 18:38:16 (EDT)

But your post reminds me of a gag my friend always does. He posts a sign in his medicine cabinet which says, "you nosy bitch" or some such saying, and then he has a party. And then the gang waits outside the bathroom and the guilty guest is usually picked off by his or her laughter. It is quite funny as far a parlor games go.
MJMJMJMJMJ
USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 18:01:21 (EDT)

If only MJ could actually VIEW said picture then MJ could SCREW said picture. So I assure you Jerzy, it weren't me who added the novelty borders.
MeanJoeMeanJoeMeanJoe
USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 17:57:47 (EDT)

Willy, r u out there?
Binny S
USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 17:29:04 (EDT)

Y'ALL ROT! D'YA HEAR ME? 10,9,8,7,6,5.... I'm out>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 16:56:26 (EDT)

Now that SNAFU has been restored... how about a group shot of the lurk? I can't imagine us all ACTUALLY getting together, but the tech could do the ebony and ivory bit to the pics to make one big anal blood fart collage... what do you think?
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 16:54:24 (EDT)

much better... bitch
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 16:48:02 (EDT)

fuck you. how's that for light?
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 16:24:28 (EDT)

Man, here I was coming to your defense cuz I thought someone had pasted nude parts on you or put big green googly eyes over your stripes, But instead it turns out I'm getting shit cuz I used some innocuous built in borders trying out the postcard section of a site you turned the whole lurk on to. Yeah, I'll say it again grrrl... LIGHTEN UP!
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 16:15:33 (EDT)

SPALLCHECK!
Proctor's gamble
USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 16:00:53 (EDT)

jerzy, that fucked up site made it look like I was playing around with photos unique to that part of the site alone. They had sample pics too that I messed with and I'm sure the next person who checks that site out won't find the samples altered. Remember it took two tries for me to get your pic link up, when I hit it the second time those other shots weren't altered, so why would I expect to get access to other peoples shots and be able to alter the original. On that note, what kinda screwed up site gives up the original even when there is common acccess?...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 15:59:37 (EDT)

but WHY do you feel it necessary to play with someone else's shit? it was out of trust that i gave the link, it's pretty inappropriate that you fucked around with it. do you go through people's medicine cabinets, drawers and refridgerators when you're in their homes too?
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 15:20:41 (EDT)

SUSPICIOUS? Not by a long shot... Curious, yeah, I'll admit to that. YOU picked the link, not me. If you had just posted it, there wouldn't have been any bells or whistles for me to play with....
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 15:13:17 (EDT)

listen bub. i put the ONE shot up so i could share it. i am not DOING anything with that site, so fuck you and your suspicious nature. you pinko commie punkassbitchmotherfucker. i'll mop the floor with you. don't think i won't. MJ will stand on your hair while i kick you.
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 15:06:00 (EDT)

Can I keep a copy of the one I did with the little doggy pawprints on the border?
Smoky (Proctor's Dog)
USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 15:03:46 (EDT)

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! jerzy, you are SLAYING me. You're the one who got us hoodwinked into that photo-schmaltz site. I just was trying to figure out what YOU were doing with shots on that site....
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 15:01:16 (EDT)

don't you go keeping that picture either sicko, it was a courtesey that i shared it, don't abuse my generosity, and don't go stalking me...that's SO 10 years ago.
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 14:56:56 (EDT)

INQUISITION!! AH HA!! NOBODY EXPECTS THE LURK INQUISITION. Confess now and it will go much easier on you. Otherwise we'll resort to using an instrument we call affectionately THE ANAL BLOOD FART!!!
The Lurk Inquisition
Torquemada, USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 14:56:06 (EDT)

you bitch! i KNEW it was you!!! don't go messin' wit my stuff, yo! and don't tell ME to lighten up! you fucked up the entire image, it got sized funny. i also want to add that i'm creeped out that you were experimenting with MY picture...experiment with your OWN shit! damn! smoky, kick his ass for me, willya?!
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 14:55:21 (EDT)

boris, MJ, Willy, Freddy, et al... forgive the inquisition. I should have known I was listening to a grrrl from jersey...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 14:53:12 (EDT)

BORDERS? Hold it up all. I was checking that funky sites gizmos including... you guesssed it boys and grrrls, BORDERS! I didn't know it messed with your version... HAHAHA! jerzy, you have got to LIGHTEN UP!... oh and by the way, I still have that shot on my little corner of that shoofly site....
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 14:49:51 (EDT)

one down... WILLY! get your stinking three fingers up here and speak. Put your hand on the lurk and deny or admit to the photo escapade. MJ? FREDDY? You guys too!
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 14:42:04 (EDT)

added all sorts of schmaltzy borders and garbage like that. don't fuck with jerzy.
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 14:41:41 (EDT)

boris did no zuch ting. zhe iz too cool to zpeak to boris end boris iz too buzy to givafuk about zum picture on zum webzite da.
boris
ukraine, - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 14:32:41 (EDT)

Come to think of it, where's borish been today? Screwing with a pic definitely wreaks of his touch. It'd be like him slink off to the sidelines after pulling off his pud...
Proctor's gamble
rumfid, ri USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 14:00:35 (EDT)

What the hell did they do to the pic?
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 13:49:18 (EDT)

So what are you pair-o-paradiddlers gonna do about the skin debate? Ya gonna do the dead trip and go with two drummers, or is there gonna be a showdown?... Rim shots at ten measures?... Come, come boys, this is nothing to snare at
Proctor's gamble
rumfid, ri USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 13:48:23 (EDT)

i have removed the desecrated picture. none of you will be able to hurt my image again. bastards.
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 13:47:34 (EDT)

jerzy, where'd ya go? Don't tell me you let one of these jpeg jerk-offs put you off your game. Give em hell grrrl...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 13:41:00 (EDT)

The now famous gringo has been coat-tailed into the limelight by the legendary "one that got away". Flocks of fans of the former band Bungy Twizzler have been holding candlelight vigils down by the dock in hopes of a glimpse of the famous leviathon. In keeping with the tradition of nicknaming such creatures, locals have borrowed from the Scots Loch Ness Monster and named this elusive denizen of the deep- Dock Ness. The fans can be seen almost any night, no matter what the weather, swaying arm-in-arm as they sing the adapted anthem "There's a Dock Ness at the Edge of Town"...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 12:44:33 (EDT)

i dunno what Willy's on but fuck i'm my own damn drumma
Freddy G. Finza
USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 12:44:23 (EDT)

Dock Rock foreva!
Geno
USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 12:26:10 (EDT)

I am FREDDY!!!
3FW
USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 12:25:31 (EDT)

Fuck YEAH!
Jammy Jamson
USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 12:24:58 (EDT)

Do your jammies have footsies?... didn't there used to be a band site here?... Bungy Twizzler wasn't it? I heard they broke up after the gringo caught a record striper. One headline led to another and now he's got his own fishing show on TNN. It's called Fishing Gone Loco and he's even got a line of his own fishing lures now... Benny Bait is available at fine redneck retailers throughout the area...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 11:32:14 (EDT)

yes sweet servitude...I am not Freddy! jammies tonight?
Willy
USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 10:35:00 (EDT)

"...yours in sweet servitude,3FW (aka) FREDDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"
Tooth Picks
USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 10:15:02 (EDT)

Depends. How big are this chick Madison's bloomers?
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 10:09:51 (EDT)

Thought of the Day: If everyone in NYC jerked off at once, would the cumulative load fill Madison Square Garden?
Man Janesfield
Spizm, USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 10:06:48 (EDT)

Stamp collection, of course. What else could I mean?... What did they do to the pic?
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 10:00:52 (EDT)

you'll show me your WHAT proctor?! the whole of manhattan is shuddering in sickening anticipation.....
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 09:34:43 (EDT)

what the fuck! SOMEBODY desecrated my picture. you fuckwads! anal blood farts! is NOTHING sacred?!
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 09:31:58 (EDT)

jerzy, I'll show you mine if you show me yours...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 09:03:14 (EDT)

jerzy, if any odd sorts show up at your office wearing crotchless orange coulottes, don't panic. We've dealt with this before, just contact us. We've already arranged for an unmarked black helicopter to meet you on the roof and we're w**king on the details of your new identity... oh, the number is 1-900-HIDE-A-GRRRL (sorry it's a 900 number, budget cutbacks and all)
The Security Guy
USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 08:58:41 (EDT)

Lurk #1776, it makes ya proud to be an American. My heart swells and my eyes well up with tears when I see the colors of our nation displayed so proudly. The poopy brown and pee yellow of our flag has been carried into battle thousands of times now.... WAIT A MINUTE! POOPY BROWN? PEE YELLOW?... YOU PEOPLE ARE A DISGRACE! YOUR PROBABLY COMMIES TOO!
The Patriot
Good Ole, US of A - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 08:45:54 (EDT)

We want it known that any statements that compare our fair city of Middlesex with the lurk or members therein will be considered an actionable violation of the integrity of Middlesex and her citizenry... translation- if you scum mention Middlesex again, we'l send every barrister at our disposal to dismember your precious lurk in as painful a manner as common law will allow...
The County Board
Middlesex, UK - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 08:36:40 (EDT)

Mornin to lurkers one and all. I see the ass drip slipped through homeland security's border patrol, stretching the limits of the term- free trade agreement. If that was a trade, what did we get in return?...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 08:26:59 (EDT)

I imagine everyone on this lurk, male, female and "middlesex," to have the look, the smell, the feel of Joe Piscapo. Tell me I'm wrong
Man Janesfield
Don Hills, USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 00:52:14 (EDT)

What does Jerzy look like? Boris? What does Willy SMELL LIKE?
Benny
USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 22:35:13 (EDT)

YUP. BENNY BUTTDRIP is BACK! From the great brown north. What the fuck did Benny miss around here today, anyway? A photo swap?! What does Proctor look like?
Benny Back
USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 22:34:24 (EDT)

"...her appetite appears to be beaten back by the heat, not unlike a frothing beast at her task masters whip..."
Tooth Picks
Fucking Laughs, USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 21:19:15 (EDT)

I guess I'll leave you and Willy to get better acquainted, 10,9,8,7,6,5... I'm out>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> cool lurking with ya jerzy, catch ya on the flip-flop >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 16:52:26 (EDT)

see anything you like willy? hmmmmmm?!
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 16:46:47 (EDT)

holy picture swap meet
Willy
USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 16:30:33 (EDT)

I make up addresses all the time, but some of them have lock outs til they confirm it's a valid id...
Proctor's gamble
rumfid, ri USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 16:29:46 (EDT)

i juzt zigned up az bennysizzler@cocks.net
boris
ukrainus, - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 16:24:02 (EDT)

HAHA, not to worry it's a free yahoo address that I use for that purpose... they actually added a spam guard recently that is holding up pretty well so far. besides, they want to give me 15 free pics with the sign-up...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 16:18:46 (EDT)

not intentionally. i'm sorry!
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 16:01:39 (EDT)

jerzy, this wasn't some ploy to hit us with spam for some product like fuller brushes that you're peddling?
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 15:59:27 (EDT)

no glitch proc, that webzite mandates regiztration. zo now we get more zpam da.
boris
ukrainus, - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 15:51:38 (EDT)

I'd say exactly like I expected, only I took 50 guesses to get it wrong and even on the lurk I got no poker face..
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 15:50:14 (EDT)

do i look like you imagined i would?
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 15:46:14 (EDT)

more like As The Lurk Turns... that link wouldn't let me in til I signed up... go figger for computer glitches...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 15:44:20 (EDT)

your little dizcuzzion? boris thought it waz epizode of either 'dayz of our livez' or 'who want marry millionaire'
boris
ukrainus, - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 15:38:33 (EDT)

just copy the link to my picture. don't sign up!
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 15:38:06 (EDT)

By the way jerzy, have you been watching the counter? boris finally spoke up, but I got a feeling there were a few more silent lurkers following the progress of our little discussion...
Proctor's gamble
rumfid, ri USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 15:34:34 (EDT)

second time did it... that is one convuluted site. For once I gotta agree with boris the eyeliner is a bit heavy. Did you say there was some racoon in the bloodline?
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 15:31:50 (EDT)

jerzy what is with that shutterfly crap? I went through a gauntlet of sign-up nonsense and it still ain't coughing up no pics except their crap samples...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 15:28:28 (EDT)

too much mazcara. bik black linez where ice zhould be. činit tebe mluvit Čech?
boris
ukrainus, - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 15:26:23 (EDT)

okay. let 'er rip. i can't wait to hear the peanut gallery.
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 15:17:35 (EDT)

i did, of course, take some protective measures...heh.
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 15:16:33 (EDT)

ah, what the fuck. i'm feeling sort of reckless right now. too much shit going on in my little world. http://www.shutterfly.com/view/picture_dt.jsp?state=67b0de21b4d6dfe455ae&idx=0
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 15:15:34 (EDT)

A good sampling of Northern Celtic blood... How nice? You know that's not one of my strong points...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 15:13:07 (EDT)

ah well, my face is free of freckles (say that 10 times really fast), but my shoulders have some.
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 15:12:15 (EDT)

I'm thinking freckles, not a lot, a few on the nose and on your shoulders...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 15:10:33 (EDT)

I ain't no Frog, but boy, I sure do love sauerkraut. get it?! KRAUT! i could post a link to a picture from my bday if you're really nice....
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 15:10:04 (EDT)

French? Spanish Seniorita? Tasmanian?.. do I get any hints/
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 15:01:26 (EDT)

actually i tan, but will burn first. i do have some irish heritage too. you're missing one more piece of the heritage pie. mom so NOT sophia loren-esque.
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 14:51:42 (EDT)

You gotta be fair skinned, do you get a sunburn by the time you finished driving to the beach?.. You said SOME Czech, perhaps a little Irish? Was your Mom a Sophia Loren type Italian?
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 14:49:40 (EDT)

yes, some Czech heritage. oh, and yes. blonde.
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 14:42:02 (EDT)

Asian? nah, a Nubian princess with big luscious lips maybe, but somehow I can't picture you as Asian... then again, with my batting average that probably means you are.... let's see, how about some globetrotting... Hawaiian or Tahitian?... Brazilian! I have a thing for Brazilian girls... Middle Eastern?.. or should I go with an obvious guess... Czech?
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 14:38:31 (EDT)

yes. green eyes.
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 14:31:22 (EDT)

alright... green eyes, I think I ran out of hair color... are you bald?... 5'11"... dimples, no just one dimple in the left cheek... did I get anything right yet?... oh yeah, CURVY...
Proctor's gamble
rumfid, ri USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 14:30:13 (EDT)

well it's a subjective guessed. what do you mean by stacked? i don't think i'm stacked, but if i were asian, i probably would be. and who's to say i'm not asian?
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 14:28:17 (EDT)

statuesque basically means tall... curvy's nice, but how can you be answering guesses with "I don't think so". If you don't know what you look like this is going to be a very difficult game....
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 14:22:06 (EDT)

er, short? no. ravenhead? no. redhead? no. blue eyes? no. brown eyes? no. whisp? no. fat? no. statuesque? i don't think so, unless you mean curvy. stacked? i don't think so.
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 14:14:26 (EDT)

So does that make you a short fat red-head, raven-headed wisp, or a statuesque stacked blue-eyed blonde?
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 14:07:42 (EDT)

i don't know how to get pix of me from my bday here. you couldn't be farther off on your guess proctor!
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 14:01:16 (EDT)

Man, that toothpick shit is lame enough to pass for Hemingway
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 13:53:03 (EDT)

I think Jerzy looks like this: http://www.bennysizzler.com/LittleTimmy.jpg
Contestant #2
USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 13:51:59 (EDT)

"...the caged creature came alive...rolling about on the grass not unlike someone...or something...recently lit afire..."
Tooth Picks
USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 13:50:41 (EDT)

HAHAHA< actually I came across those pics a couple of days ago and was gonna post the link anywho... Alright, I'll bite.... Let's see 5'8", 140lbs, brown eyes, short hair somewhere between a brunette and a dirty blonde (when you haven't dyed it something exotic)... oh, and a c-cup....
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 13:48:07 (EDT)

i was gonna offer up a picture...but damn, you gotta go and get all mean and sarcastic on me.
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 13:44:11 (EDT)

any resemblance to this gallery? http://www.artistictrinity.com/GeorgeWGirls/
Proctor's gamble
rumfud , ri USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 13:42:02 (EDT)

just tell me this isn't your prom pic... http://www.artistictrinity.com/GeorgeWGirls/wgirl005.jpg
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 13:40:10 (EDT)

what, no bites? c'mon...NOBODY is curious?! you all know what each other looks like, but you don't know what i look like!
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 13:36:56 (EDT)

oooh, this could be amusing. i wonder what th lurk thinks i look like....do tell, please!
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 13:27:46 (EDT)

just a few stray grays so far.... the last time I shaved was 12-15 years ago. That was my Halloween costume, just shaving... it was amazing how many people that knew me well didn't have a clue who I was...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 13:27:27 (EDT)

possible sign of civilization developing... WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The U.S. government is quietly advising that companies end some controversial animal tests, saying laboratory alternatives exist that are quicker and just as good, officials said on Monday.
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 13:23:10 (EDT)

interesting. i actually pictured you bearded proctor. big wild beard threaded with grey.
jerzy grrrl
nj, nj USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 13:22:06 (EDT)

no biggie.
Neil Hamburger
USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 12:51:30 (EDT)

Can you super-size that
the random answer
USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 12:49:46 (EDT)

I don't shave, fuck gillette too. Barbaric practice, scraping hair off your face with a stone. Get civilized and stop shaving, now THAT'S progress...
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 12:48:23 (EDT)

What did Biggie Smalls mom say when she found out her son was dead?
Neil Hamburger
USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 12:47:41 (EDT)

Granted the doggie snuff film is hainous, but I wonder what fun the snuff films from Gillette are like to watch - all in the name of commerce.
Bomb Em All
USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 12:45:21 (EDT)

Put the fuckin' lotion in the basket!
basement cage keeper
USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 12:43:46 (EDT)

it puts the lotion on its' skin, or else it gets the hose again!
basement cage keeper
USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 12:43:03 (EDT)

because it was nailed to the monkey
Proctor's gamble
rumfid, ri USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 12:34:56 (EDT)

:...arrived to the mournful zowling of animal in the basement...not unlike a caged creature in a TURN OF THE CENTURY BRITISH CIRCUS..."
Tooth Picks
USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 12:31:28 (EDT)

"...of what the animal once considered friendly care-givers..."
Tooth Picks
USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 12:13:44 (EDT)

because it was dead... why did the baby fall out of the tree?
Proctor's gamble
USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 12:12:10 (EDT)

Dog log?.. Why wasn't I informed?... Where's my secratary? Get my agent on the line, I want answers damn it and I want them now.
Smoky (Proctor's Dog)
USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 12:09:14 (EDT)

why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 12:08:04 (EDT)

He's sitting at the dock of the bay...
Otis Redding
USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 11:59:37 (EDT)

tell the fisherman Weds vice Thurs
Willy
USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 11:56:47 (EDT)

the Dog Log is being spilled on the Benny Lurk...
Willy
USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 11:54:37 (EDT)

I'm thinking again... Is my brain supposed to hurt this much?
Proctor's gamble
rumfid, ri USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 11:54:22 (EDT)

"...perhaps due to the traumatic, tag-team hair shearing endured earlier at the hands..."
Tooth Picks
USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 11:50:01 (EDT)

think again Proctor...think again...
Willy
USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 11:43:52 (EDT)

Damn toothpicks think they're something special!
The Splinter Group
USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 11:43:11 (EDT)

"...animal appears subdued..."
Tooth Picks
Basement, USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 11:34:40 (EDT)

Word to the Willy, your predicted appearance of Benny seems to have missed the mark... I guess ya can't depend on hermaphrodites showing up on time...
Proctor's gamble
rumfid, ri USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 11:13:01 (EDT)

Irish girls have REAL orgasms and FAKE jewelry...
Proctor's gamble
rumfid, ri USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 11:05:26 (EDT)

word...word...where's Benny?
Willy
USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 11:00:56 (EDT)

DAMN, those are some depressing logs I dumped... how about some jokes... What's the difference between Irish girls and Jewish girls?
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 10:58:48 (EDT)

What a drag... Gaston didn't make it... they're not saying yet what he died from. Probably all the poisonous crap from flooded industrial sites. Add one more to the "in the name of progress" body count....
Proctor's gamble
rumfud, ri USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 10:44:39 (EDT)

the dog snuff film made me sick. My dog has vestibular disease and as it makes things more difficult for him, I know I have to start considering how bad off I can let him get... The gas chamber shit gave me nightmares about it...
Proctor's gamble
rumfid, ri USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 10:10:34 (EDT)

how about those al quaida training tapes. that's some fucked up shit yo.
jerzy grrrl
jc, nj USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 09:28:27 (EDT)

Mornin to the lurk, The BI report that the brown cloud known variously as The Asian Brown Haze or The Asian Brown Cloud, covers damn near all of Asia and is over two miles thick. And if that's not tasty enough for ya, if the chunk-o-cloud decided to roam from it's home turf it could be on our doorstep and infesting your lungs in just two short days...
Proctor's gamble
rumfid, ri USA - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 08:25:46 (EDT)

uhh yeah shucks miss, 'm just floatin' around in my corderoy jacket ans shitkickers
McBrown
the sky, o'er the earth - Tuesday, August 20, 2002 at 00:33:16 (EDT)

THIS JUST IN: from Benny International (AP) - Asia Division. The United Nations Environment Program report casts a harsh light on the situation in southern Asia. A gigiantic "Brown Cloud" generated by "human pollution," covers the whole region...with many negative consequences. - Le Monde (Paris)
Benny International
- Monday, August 19, 2002 at 21:07:44 (EDT)

everyone, say 'welcome back' to Benny the Amazing Toothpick-legged Hermaphr