I'm serious. MJ acne SO BAD it HAS to be Dioxin. Fucking Crap Baby going to court with the bag on the head=funniest thing EVAH! PS-remind MJ to tell lurk about time DJe and Dexter made MJ meet celebrity Ratt Dillon (=worst moment EVAH!)
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, December 22, 2004 at 22:08:02 (EST)

DJE, couldn't open your link, so couldn't tell if it was my civic doodie. By the way, Guilty! Another crack dealing ,pistol-carrying Einstein off the streets of So. Providence!!
Dexter
Bakefield, USA - Wednesday, December 22, 2004 at 21:13:20 (EST)

I am probably the only person around who is not impressed by people who blag on and on about their sex parties and partners and have a fucking online diary of their conquests and 'fun'.
Sneak
USA - Wednesday, December 22, 2004 at 18:24:19 (EST)

Being an intelligent, academic woman can go hand in hand with being a horny, kinky slut!
the one thing better than a librarian is a kinky librarian
USA - Wednesday, December 22, 2004 at 16:59:28 (EST)

BTW- iffen you find yorself at Fantasies anytime soon, may I recommend the attentions of a Taiwanese woman using the stage name Lotus.
living in the lapdance of oriental luxury
USA - Wednesday, December 22, 2004 at 16:48:50 (EST)

Fetish Nun Strip Pen-
Get this high quality classic floaty pen and watch rapt, for hours, as she dons and doffs her habit. (DONS and DOFFS??!)
warning- may be habit forming
USA - Wednesday, December 22, 2004 at 16:32:54 (EST)

MJ®. Acne or dioxin?
Commie Muffin Manufacturing
USA - Wednesday, December 22, 2004 at 16:11:22 (EST)

Dog bless the ACLU for taking on this battle!
The Y!d K!d
USA - Wednesday, December 22, 2004 at 15:24:50 (EST)

NEW YORK -- A document released for the first time today by the American Civil Liberties Union suggests that President Bush issued an Executive Order authorizing the use of inhumane interrogation methods against detainees in Iraq.
time for the murder monkey war crimes trial
USA - Wednesday, December 22, 2004 at 14:50:33 (EST)

Kosher Claus
Lester
USA - Wednesday, December 22, 2004 at 14:47:59 (EST)

Even black metal church burnin dudes love christmas!

Holy Fuck! This is some sad and creepy shit.
Lester
USA - Wednesday, December 22, 2004 at 13:44:26 (EST)

Don Diebel instructs men on how to meet the lovely ladies: "First, you will need a hand puppet."
Lester
USA - Wednesday, December 22, 2004 at 13:36:05 (EST)

"I really dig Hannibal. Hannibal had real guts. He rode elephants into Cartilage."
"I guess I'm gonna fade into Bolivian."
"I can sell out Madison Square Garden masturbating."
"I have some pain I'm gonna have for the rest of my life. So every now and then I kick your fucking ass."

Lester
USA - Wednesday, December 22, 2004 at 13:16:51 (EST)

hey anybody running a website with the very popular (= free) "phpBB" discussion forums feature should googlenews 'santy'.....
dirty
- Wednesday, December 22, 2004 at 13:11:35 (EST)

Merry, merry, merry, merry, merry (mushroom, mushroom)
WR
USA - Wednesday, December 22, 2004 at 12:56:59 (EST)

Murder Monkey
USA - Wednesday, December 22, 2004 at 12:11:23 (EST)

---

not to be all WiF or anything but that mess hall was blown up by a suicide bomber with explosives under his clothes. He worked there. The US never thought it was a rocket attack. The only reason they are admitting it now is because the people who did it claim they have a videotape.
Spongebob
USA - Wednesday, December 22, 2004 at 11:51:17 (EST)

---

CRAPBABY ON HER WAY TO COURT

USA - Wednesday, December 22, 2004 at 11:34:52 (EST)

Lawyers lay a steaming pile of evidence at juror's feet!
Crap Baby Case Crack Reporter
USA - Wednesday, December 22, 2004 at 11:32:28 (EST)

crapbaby suspended for life. lawyers "push" for quick release

USA - Wednesday, December 22, 2004 at 11:30:15 (EST)

NEW YORK (AP) - An arbitrator has reduced Indiana forward Jermaine O'Neal's brawl suspension from 25 games to 15. Suspensions have been upheld for Ron Artest and other players.

USA - Wednesday, December 22, 2004 at 11:24:28 (EST)

Are you crazy?!? He'll shoot his eye out!
Darren McGavin
USA - Wednesday, December 22, 2004 at 11:13:45 (EST)

I got MY brother the Daisy Red Ryder bb gun for XMAS this year.
WR
USA - Wednesday, December 22, 2004 at 10:51:55 (EST)

should read "avoid spending money"
ed
USA - Wednesday, December 22, 2004 at 10:41:13 (EST)

As you finish up your xmas shopping, be sure to spending money at companies that fund Republican candidates.
ed
USA - Wednesday, December 22, 2004 at 10:40:25 (EST)

That is THE cutest baby!
v!c(hewy)
USA - Wednesday, December 22, 2004 at 10:36:17 (EST)

Archeologists may have discovered clay jars that Jesus used to turn water into wine; other team of scientists still looking for Santa's workshop and Easter Bunny's lair.
Lester
USA - Wednesday, December 22, 2004 at 10:32:37 (EST)

My brother got me this lamp for X0mas last year.
Lester
USA - Wednesday, December 22, 2004 at 10:23:44 (EST)

I swear I was nowhere near Northern Ireland on Tuesday.
McLester
USA - Wednesday, December 22, 2004 at 10:18:01 (EST)

Of what?
WR
USA - Wednesday, December 22, 2004 at 10:17:21 (EST)

I am suspicious. Be warned.
KOL
USA - Wednesday, December 22, 2004 at 10:12:07 (EST)

"Son" Seals will not be coming down for a blues breakfast.
chef
USA - Wednesday, December 22, 2004 at 09:49:34 (EST)

ed, here's what you're looking for.
keys to the kingdom
USA - Wednesday, December 22, 2004 at 09:16:45 (EST)

would you pay 150-200 million for this?
2004 .267 38 HRs 104 RBIs
2003 .307 26 HRs 100 RBIs
2002 .273 25 HRs 105 RBIs

CHANG
USA - Wednesday, December 22, 2004 at 04:09:18 (EST)

Baby, you need a little HTML love.
TS
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 23:22:48 (EST)

Thanks, Lester, I couldn't figure out how to do that. Now, how do you post pictures in the response boxes? My software doesn't let my copy and paste pictures for some reason.
ed
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 21:23:36 (EST)

DODGERS PULL OUT OF JOHNSON EXCHANGE
heh heh
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 20:17:36 (EST)

I once bought a Renault Encore for $100. I did not request a repeat performance.
v!c
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 17:53:42 (EST)

The Le Car is a Renault, not a Citroen
TS
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 17:49:20 (EST)

B101's Rebecca Morse-Whitten drinks heavily then rams a cabbie. Cabbie rams Cheaters. Cabbies goes to hospital. Morse-Whiten drives away but leaves a license plate (read: calling card) at the scene. Morse-Whitten pulled over 40 minutes later in Warwich...blah blah blah you know the rest.
oopsy daisy
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 17:48:35 (EST)

Bobbi Jo, we hardly knew ye.

USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 17:22:20 (EST)

"good" at tetris?
i surrender
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 17:07:59 (EST)

This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers.

Randall
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 16:34:00 (EST)

THIS just in: Bush defends Rumsfeld as "a caring fellow".
v!c
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 16:33:22 (EST)

email on its way--took me an hour cause all these damn patrons keep coming into the library
WR
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 16:06:34 (EST)

Hey, I never touched no one!
Tony Dow
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 15:56:18 (EST)

Dow touches three year high, gets put in same jail cell as Michael Jackson.
Lester
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 15:52:57 (EST)

Lester
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 15:51:33 (EST)

that guy is good at tetris.
dontento
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 15:49:34 (EST)

got that first linky wrongy
an@lyze this
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 15:42:56 (EST)

alright I'll give you the concentrated version...
How to get your woman to have an@l secks (contains neither nudity nor an@l penetration, yet still amusing)
flyingkungfufvk (contains flying boobs, etc)
penile piano playing (not really, but still sorta)
ignore this post
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 15:37:28 (EST)

Citroen eh? The hot hatch wars rage on the continent, but the 5th gen GTI spanks them all, according to euro press.
KOL
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 15:36:52 (EST)

not one comment for such an awesome link?
y'all can get below me
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 15:29:38 (EST)

Thanks to Lestre for the technical know-how
The Y!d K!d
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 15:15:56 (EST)

Hoobastank cancels tour after singer becomes violently ill. Presumably he finally listened to one of their albums.
Lester
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 15:12:12 (EST)

My new car.
The Y!d K!d
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 15:08:26 (EST)

Hey Ed -
If you paste the web site address where it says "URL" on the sign on page, the link will. . .
Lester
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 15:04:00 (EST)

ah butch hobson. i was 11 . . . his name was clell lavern . . . it never would've worked.
DJe
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 14:53:19 (EST)

today's photo is (a) a lovely portrait from the JC Poopey portrait studio; (b) the latest "whale of a" holiday cake from carvel; or (c) dex's civic doodie.
DJe
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 14:50:28 (EST)

"appealing to the poor was "Sam Walton's real genius. He figured out how to make money off of poverty. He located his first stores in poor rural areas and discovered a real market. The only problem with the business model is that it really needs to create more poverty to grow." That problem is cleverly solved by creating more bad jobs worldwide. " http://www.thenation.com/doc.mhtml?i=20050103&c=1&s=featherstone
ed
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 14:48:17 (EST)

I am marshalling my resources, checking the facts, assessing the possibilities, and using work computers to print/answer your inquiries. Hope to have a response before the open meeting tonight. FYI--library board meetings are probably MORE boring than ZBR or PB meetings
WR
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 14:42:45 (EST)

"The two-page e-mail that references an Executive Order states that the President directly authorized interrogation techniques including sleep deprivation, stress positions, the use of military dogs, and "sensory deprivation through the use of hoods, etc." " http://www.aclu.org/SafeandFree/SafeandFree.cfm?ID=17216&c=206
Murder monkey strikes again
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 14:31:41 (EST)

5a5Hello, nice site!
buy viagra <viagr@gmail.com>
- Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 14:26:59 (EST)

Alrighteee folks I found a few links to dazzle, amaze, and possibly distract you from thinking of naked cheerleaders kissing each other's breasts... if only briefly.

first up, so chew, you think you got some lightning paradiddle sh!z going? Check this out
and there's more to come....
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 14:22:59 (EST)

"Diane, I'm entering the town of Scott Depot, West Virginia. We have another dead teenage girl found wrapped in plastic, like Ronnette Pulaski and Laura Palmer. I fear Killer Bob is somewhere nearby....."
Special Agent Dale Cooper
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 14:21:43 (EST)

Why didn't cheerleaders ever make porn films when I was in high school?
ed
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 14:18:21 (EST)

for me, it's all about the baby headband on that pile of crap
chew toy
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 13:42:36 (EST)

So doc, I keep having this recurring dream where I'm warned not to look in the eyes of this crapbaby. Only I look anyway and then I see it's got no hands. Do you think this means I have some coprophiliac tendencies? And why no hands? Does it represent me WANTING crap, but being unable to touch it?
Fredian Slip
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 13:30:01 (EST)

Why? Why? Why? GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Sneak
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 13:24:50 (EST)

Not Once <Have I ever posted a pic right the first time>
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 13:22:38 (EST)

wow, my high school sucked more than I thought
visions of saliva drizzled cheerleaders dancing in my head
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 13:21:14 (EST)

img src="http://members.cox.net/noiseisgood/dimebagmemorial.jpg"
Gimmee a Quarter Rog <crapbaby@neverforgets.org>
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 13:20:32 (EST)

teen cheerleaders kissing each other's bare breasts on camera!?
what's that knocking sound on the underside of my desk?
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 13:16:09 (EST)

Don't move to Mauguio, France.
Lester
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 12:47:30 (EST)

This is just great.
Lester
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 12:45:39 (EST)

Can I take a pill to develop this "condition"?
Lester
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 12:41:47 (EST)

"All of a sudden, everybody comes into school saying, `There's porno! There's porno! There's porno!'"
Lester
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 12:32:41 (EST)

point to the vine-ripened, hand-picked lackey

USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 12:25:21 (EST)

hey Chong! that's a load'a crap and you know it!
v!c
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 11:55:18 (EST)

there's luck, and then there's luck
if it quacks like a luck?
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 11:49:56 (EST)

All I want for xmas is a Vikes win on Friday afternoon
with visions of the division lead dancing in my head
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 11:45:53 (EST)

football schmootball. i only watch football now
CHANG
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 11:42:04 (EST)

how bout them Patriots?
defeat from jaws of victory
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 11:40:36 (EST)

interracial? what race are the squarepants?
my pants are obtuse
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 11:39:20 (EST)

"roberts doesn't care about his car or ice or his team. He's all about the money. He only stealy bases to pad his stats. I am not a hero"
Curt Schilling
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 11:37:50 (EST)

I slipped on the ice a little on the way to my car this morning. I can't wait to hear what Curt schilling is going to say about it!
Dave Roberts
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 11:36:00 (EST)

just don't seem myself lately
an indeterminite WiF
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 11:35:14 (EST)

well if I was going to have consensual interracial gay sex with a 17yr old I now know wher I'm NOT going to do it.
Spongebob
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 11:32:15 (EST)

on the subject of livers, I quote verbatim from the Defecatur bathroom wall, "the liver is bad, it must be punished".
liver doing 15-20 hard time
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 11:31:59 (EST)

Holy CRAP! I STINK!
Crap Baby
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 11:30:47 (EST)

crap baby did it!
who looked in crapbaby's eyes???
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 11:29:37 (EST)

A North Carolina National Guard member thought to be the first U.S. soldier convicted of murdering an Iraqi said he "snapped" and shot the 17-year-old boy after they had consensual sex, according to court-martial records released this week.
too dead to ask or tell
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 11:28:06 (EST)

lurk no broke, v!c 2 tupid to wurk lurk. must have cumputer like radyo shak plunger. turd just blow bak in face no matter how v!c plunge at keybored
smotter then v!c
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 11:26:48 (EST)

IT DONE FIXED ITSELF!
chewy
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 11:24:24 (EST)

It's a wonderful Life- starring rummy
every time a bell rings a soldier loses a limb
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 11:21:58 (EST)

I'm not aware that the Lurk is broke, V!c. Perhaps you should bring your hard drive back to Radio Shack for service.
BSTC
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 11:19:23 (EST)

being a dork means you wear shin guards behind the counter.
CHANG
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 11:17:47 (EST)

who done broke the dog damned lurk again?
v!c
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 11:08:26 (EST)

lester liver color resembles MJ's ass.
CHANG
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 11:04:59 (EST)

WR, MJ sent you email. Very important. Has to do with the freedoms we enjoy in our society but which are threatened by Middleblob's lowest.
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 11:01:12 (EST)

If being a dork means having a liver that's as pink as Chong's newborn's ass then sign me up.
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 10:59:41 (EST)

Society makes MJ feel like a dork.
Lester
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 10:54:00 (EST)

I too had to apologize to toilet. But for different reason. Lack of movement leave toilet lonely and dishonored. Will eat two ribwich on way home to remedy relations with "swishy"
CHANG
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 10:51:21 (EST)

Well if we MUST have a war crimes trial, I'm prepared to confess that I dishonored the toilet bowl this morning.
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 10:44:06 (EST)

please oh please oh PLEASE can we start the war crimes trial?
puh-LEASE
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 10:33:51 (EST)

jingle boom jingle boom jingle Iraqi. Oh what fun it is to ride in an unarmored humvee.
the murder monkey tally man song
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 10:31:53 (EST)

the lurk appears to be clogged
Jake Plumber
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 10:13:12 (EST)

never never NEVER look a pile of sh!t in the eyes
chew
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 09:50:11 (EST)

Dave Roberts = Best Guy Ever.
Guy Who Knows Guys
USA - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 at 00:29:27 (EST)

Roberts and Cabrerra gone.
News Flash
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 23:30:47 (EST)

I LOOKED IT IN THE EYES!!!!!!!!! JUST LIKE FROSTY!!!!!!!!
Blinded by Poop
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 23:00:07 (EST)

DJe, didn't you tell me you did coke with Butch Hobson ? Or was that , have a coke, or a crush, or something....
Dexter
Bakefield, USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 20:35:11 (EST)

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...etc.
chewy
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 18:45:26 (EST)

poor domimi-me
chang
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 17:48:24 (EST)

it appears as if ol Frosty is attempting to look it in the eyes!
Leroy Brown
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 17:15:41 (EST)

A highly recommended article a bout a real Dick... Gregory that is. 3 reasons to read it....
1. The judge said: 'I'm not giving you six months because you're a Negro. I just hate comics.
2. At the height of the disturbances in Watts, the LA ghetto, in December 1965, Gregory famously walked out into the vacant area between rioters and the police line. He managed only a few steps before he was shot in the leg, apparently by a civilian. "I was hit, but I kept walking. I yelled out: 'Alright, goddammit, you shot me. Now go home.'"
3. (nota bene for MJ on the veggie tip)- Gregory's improbable conversion from comic to dietician began in the South. "I became a vegetarian after I saw a Mississippi sheriff kick my wife when she was nine months' pregnant," he says. "I had to convince myself that the reason I did nothing was that I was non-violent."
"And that wasn't the reason?"
"I was scared. But afterwards I decided that if I wouldn't hit a man who kicked my pregnant wife, I couldn't participate in the destruction of any animal that never harmed me."
not even worthy to be dick's shadow
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 17:07:02 (EST)

sans hands!
how do it wipe?
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 17:02:09 (EST)

Make a Deal, You Dicks.
Lester
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 17:01:51 (EST)

lordy lordy, it be an xmas poop doll!
and i dare not look it in the eyes
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 17:01:28 (EST)

REPOST!- So according to this new study you need to make $16.29/hr in RI to end up broke at the end of the month.
$-4/hr short of being broke
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 16:36:44 (EST)

So according to this new study you need to make to end up broke at the end of the month.
$-4/hr short of being broke
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 16:35:43 (EST)

wurd to the wise- invest in foreign markets
as the dollar drops "your bucks" go up
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 15:59:46 (EST)

murder = murder monkey
that missing word guy
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 15:56:32 (EST)

murder refuses to lose argument with himself....... in public that is.

"Now, the temptation is going to be, by well-meaning people such as yourself and others here, as we run up to the issue, to get me to negotiate with myself in public," Bush told the questioner on Monday. "To say, you know, "What's this mean, Mr. President? What's that mean?
please somebody make it stop
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 15:55:25 (EST)

FIDOBAG- the deaf, dumb, tail-less, non-moving, detachable-head variation
fidobag- the home of loyal luggage
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 15:35:05 (EST)

nothing sez butch like a lavender hyundai accent
sure of my manhood
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 15:25:09 (EST)

"It takes a real man to be seen in a Cabrio."
WR
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 14:53:55 (EST)

ernie who?
bert
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 14:19:58 (EST)

"the largest floating thing on the planet right now"
needed-- a few tins of pilchards to feed several thousand penguins
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 14:17:37 (EST)

....because his style is so very difficult to satirize. This means you've read The Sun Also Rises from the previous year (way back in 1926) correct? Lost Generation, Rive Gauche, Pamplona, World War I veterans etc etc. Stark yes....about alienation yes.....and awesome. You like him or you don't and I don't really give a hoot either way. His legend is safe and deservedly so.
boris
- Monday, December 20, 2004 at 14:16:47 (EST)

Sorry I'm a little late on the translation. But WR got it for you.
TS
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 14:11:15 (EST)

Good thing is, you can always deliver your letter to Christopher Walken yourself if you take the boat to Block Island and ask a local which house is his.
WR
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 13:59:28 (EST)

Thurber definitely nailed the hemingway stale-as-4-day-old-toast style.
fresh bread
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 13:47:16 (EST)

If you don't believe in Santa anymore, you could always write a letter to Christopher Walken.
Lester
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 13:43:06 (EST)

If Hemingway wrote A Visit from St. Nick. By Thurber, published all the way back in 1927.
Lester
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 13:18:52 (EST)

New video from Chang Lee Band.
Lester
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 13:07:28 (EST)

this doggy just doesn't do it for me any more...I think I'll go cut somebody's baby out

USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 12:58:03 (EST)

Thanks, WR. Now it make sense total.
Lester
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 12:54:41 (EST)

FidoBag® is the first suitcase to the world that does not have need of being transported. Thanks to the invention of the two siblings Alfredson , system RVC® (Remote Voice Control) , FidoBag® recognizes the frequency of the voice of its landladies and it catches up it and it follows ovunque, just as it would make its faithful friend on all fours. Other important characteristic of FidoBag® is the sitema of emergency "Barks". Enough that FidoBag® comes taken from strangers and begins to bark with a 197.5 intensity of db, intensity in a position to stordire the malintenzionato one. Ladri of suitcases you are informs to you!
WR
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 12:51:57 (EST)

as the American empire crumbles the next one quietly replaces it
china owns your azz
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 12:47:59 (EST)

What the fuck is this thing?!?
TS, please translate.
Lester
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 12:35:26 (EST)

The Merth Mobile is for sale.
Lester
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 12:20:35 (EST)

WR
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 12:20:24 (EST)

---

If you dodn't want to spend $300 for Manny's autograph, you can pick a Mike Greenwell one for a little bit less.
Lester
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 12:18:21 (EST)

---

Add some fun to your holiday shopping by signing your credit card receipts any old way. See if anyone checks anymore--with the swipe it yourself ethic, no one seems to look.
WR
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 12:14:52 (EST)

---

"Hey brothers and sisters,
Listen to me,
I'm talking to you religiously,
My Mormon Rap will make you see,
That I'm as funky as Donny and Marie."
Lester
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 12:14:06 (EST)

---

For some reason, Styx decided it would be a good idea to release a newly-recorded cover of "I Am the Walrus".
Lester
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 11:51:18 (EST)

---

Did you see the band that opened the amos house thing? They were called "Ole lady greenwood and the gummy hummers"
CHANG
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 11:46:48 (EST)

---

I heard Lester was into "Gummy Hummers"
CHANG
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 11:43:02 (EST)

---

xmas carols for you closet conservatives
sum egg nog spiker
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 11:41:24 (EST)

---

Chevy Chase calls the dumb fvk a dumb fvk
generalisimo francisco franco is still dead
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 11:39:08 (EST)

---

Looks like someone found Lester's current girlfriend
MJ®
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 11:34:03 (EST)

---

I guess buying a baseball for $3 million was not the wisest financial decision.
Lester
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 11:21:00 (EST)

---

Looks like someone found Mean Joe's first guitar.
Lester
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 11:13:46 (EST)

---

Criminal mastermind strikes in MIlwaukee.
Lester
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 11:07:40 (EST)

---

SPALLCHECK

Lester
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 10:56:19 (EST)

---

Important safety tip: If you're wearing an oxygen mask, it's not a good idea to light your cigarettes off the stove.
Lester
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 10:51:07 (EST)

---

balmy out there
chewy
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 10:48:37 (EST)

---

nothing like getting a letter of condolence about your son dying for a lie and discovering that it's a cheesy form letter... and nothing like finding out that rummy and the murder monkey can't be bothered to actually sign so many letters themselves.
i bet the halliburton checks get endorsed by hand
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 10:34:39 (EST)

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well she got it half right
kill all longpigs
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 10:20:06 (EST)

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murder monkey = "person" of the year. two words- insult, injury

not to mention the dead and maimed
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 09:33:29 (EST)

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awesome weekend of football gazing fer me whilst ye yawnballers whined about... whatever the fvk you were whining about. BTW- just 4 more shopping days till I go on a longpig killing spree
lock and load
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 09:22:33 (EST)

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It's not about the money!
Mo Vaughn
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 09:01:40 (EST)

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Ahh eff it all. If baseball cant be free of cheaters and selfish asshats then I don't need it. It's all yours. BTW my guess is that 50% are cheating and at least 70% are selfish asshats.
CHANG
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 08:59:42 (EST)

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You know what I think? Curt Schilling has a big mouth and needs to shut the fuck up, but at least he'll be able to break 80 mph on the radar gun at 40. Fuck Pedro. He's been a millionaire for a decade, was beloved by most fans in new england, helped pitch the red sox to a miraculous postseason comeback and world season win, but STILL had to thrown everyone he could under the bus on the way out. Schilling=the man now, get used to it. Petey's final season in mlb is going to be the pitching equivalent of Jim Rice's final year.
KOL
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 08:41:56 (EST)

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I had a bagel this morning. I wonder what Curt Schilling thinks about that? My favorite thing is when every interviewer compares calls curt a "warrior" or a "hero" and he goes into his whole "I'm not comfortable with that term. Those guys in iraq, they are the real heroes(teardrop forms). not me. I just play the game I love." crap.
CHANG
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 07:54:40 (EST)

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no school fostaglosta. seems since new ownership 'moneyballers' took over, it's run exactly like a rotisserie team.
boris
- Monday, December 20, 2004 at 07:32:15 (EST)

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back in the day, players would show up at malls to sign autographs. that's how i got the rooster's. although check this out: that very day spaceman was through signing autographs and walked away but i led a pack o' kids and we chased him to his car only for him to yell at us to leave him alone. ah, sox memories.
DJe
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 06:34:17 (EST)

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PS. Chong, your baby=cute
MJ®
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 00:30:33 (EST)

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I'm teary eyed. i just watched a montage of Pedro moments on "Red Sox this Week" set to some pretty music. I'm serious. I'm weepy.
MJ®
USA - Monday, December 20, 2004 at 00:30:00 (EST)

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Of course the good news is the Mets are still going to suck....
ed
USA - Sunday, December 19, 2004 at 22:15:42 (EST)

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PS to DJe: ohmyDOG that fucking PITCHA!
MJ®
USA - Sunday, December 19, 2004 at 16:56:25 (EST)

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Hey MEAT! How'd the shindig go last night? Did you raise a lot of money for Amos house? You rule. I suck. Oh and Shilling sucks too.
MJ®
USA - Sunday, December 19, 2004 at 16:54:35 (EST)

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It seems the sox are trying to ruin in 86 days what took them a couple or so years to accomplish. Oh, and god told me he hated Schilling.
don of the dead
USA - Sunday, December 19, 2004 at 16:49:05 (EST)

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Crap Photoshop of the day

USA - Sunday, December 19, 2004 at 15:33:41 (EST)

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hey i can stop calling him jermaine die (he said, fairly certain that only don of earth got it). anyway, what. we got palace pretty soon right? won't matter. we're still gonna get trampled in january. evertongue/manUre/blews. hate fucking chelski. taking a snapshot of us in seventh for posterity though.
boris
- Sunday, December 19, 2004 at 15:06:51 (EST)

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Ohhh NEWSFLASH!!!! Some guy named curt schilling has something to say about something! Finally. I've been waiting to find out what he thinks. He should stop being such a wallflower.
CHANG
USA - Sunday, December 19, 2004 at 12:02:40 (EST)

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Seriously I wouldn't. Not if I was making 20mil per year anyway. Seems like it would just be a waste of time. And it was out of the question for these guys to come to prov for us to thank them vocally but when we thank them with cash they find a way to show up. Fuck it, fuck them and fuck you too. (execpt the fuck you too part)
CHANG
USA - Sunday, December 19, 2004 at 11:57:24 (EST)

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Nobody was forced to go to the convention center. If you're ignorant enough to pay, that's your choice. Tell me you wouldn't do the same, if someone was willing to pay 2 bills for your autogragh !
Dexter
Bakefield, USA - Sunday, December 19, 2004 at 11:13:39 (EST)

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Anyone here go to the convention center for the sox thing? johnny damon autographs were 175 dollars plus the 20 to get in. Manny chaged 250 for his. Thats fucking insane. Im starting to really not care much for a sport where the best players are juiced and even good guys like damon are really just greedy fuckwads. Oh and palace looked pretty good in the first half. Good thing there was a second half. It would be nice to see friggin rooney score every now and then though.
Chang
USA - Sunday, December 19, 2004 at 09:50:55 (EST)

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my friend, big bird!
snuffing a little upugus
USA - Saturday, December 18, 2004 at 22:02:35 (EST)

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santa CLAWS?

USA - Saturday, December 18, 2004 at 21:59:52 (EST)

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Fucking Hell, it must be hard being an Everton supporter 'cause you can't take the kid out of Liverpool and expect him to score goals wearing a Man-U-Kirsk top while having wet dreams about seeing the gig with The Sex Pistols & And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead... Come on Palace!!!!!
Serge Gainsbourg
USA - Saturday, December 18, 2004 at 21:42:03 (EST)

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you must mean the World Series Champions. more whiffs (190) than IP. Am OK with it since it cost them nothing. Got a bagel with lite cream cheese sez he has a better year than pavano. meanwhile, he and doug cinderelli can have a facial pubes contest....

Clement's pitches have terrific natural movement, which helps explain why it's taken him so long to learn how to put them where he wants to. Over the last two years, he's begun to throw enough strikes to tip the balance in his favor. Along with a sinking fastball in the low 90s and a terrific hard slider, he mixes in a few four-seamers and changeups. When he's on, he gets strikeouts, groundballs and little else. Clement's maturation also is reflected in his improved stamina, and his ability to keep his emotions in check when things don't go his way. He isn't comfortable throwing over to first, so he simply tries to look runners back and get the ball to the plate as quickly as he can. It works, as he's very tough to run on.
doris
- Saturday, December 18, 2004 at 19:01:33 (EST)

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Bay of Pig Piles

USA - Saturday, December 18, 2004 at 18:30:47 (EST)

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Red Sox are doing a great job prepping themselves to make it to third place next season.
TS
USA - Saturday, December 18, 2004 at 14:05:46 (EST)

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clement is 69 and 75 with a lifetime era of 4.34.

USA - Saturday, December 18, 2004 at 11:19:03 (EST)

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3yrs 25 million? jeez

USA - Saturday, December 18, 2004 at 11:11:29 (EST)

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Breaking news - Sox sign Matt Clement.
ed
USA - Friday, December 17, 2004 at 22:28:53 (EST)

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I'll see you there.
TS
USA - Friday, December 17, 2004 at 18:45:13 (EST)

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oh ps. MEATHEAD!!!
veek
USA - Friday, December 17, 2004 at 16:37:31 (EST)

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I'll see y'all AROUND.
veek
USA - Friday, December 17, 2004 at 16:35:52 (EST)

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veggie shepard's pie and non- veg kale soup at 2nite's partay. see you there. starts @ 7.
To Meat or Not to Meat
USA - Friday, December 17, 2004 at 16:25:50 (EST)

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non-sterile C section
chew toys in the attic
USA - Friday, December 17, 2004 at 16:10:53 (EST)

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Bigley sez' "Go Brewers!"
The Yid Kid
USA - Friday, December 17, 2004 at 15:48:41 (EST)

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Some lurker has been posting on the Noise Board I believe. Thunders? Dead giveaway is the use of "note" to begin a sentence.
WR
USA - Friday, December 17, 2004 at 15:02:41 (EST)

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champions league draw = mental.
boris
- Friday, December 17, 2004 at 14:23:03 (EST)

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Petey spouts off.
chew toy in the attic
USA - Friday, December 17, 2004 at 13:45:58 (EST)

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Be sure to fasten your seatbelt.
Lester
USA - Friday, December 17, 2004 at 13:04:53 (EST)

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keep the great ideas rollin' in guys, no pun
chevvy
USA - Friday, December 17, 2004 at 12:39:53 (EST)

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They're charging HOW much for a damn autograph?!?
Lester
USA - Friday, December 17, 2004 at 12:38:08 (EST)

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bring that awesome china splash cymbal you got at guitar center and keep talking about, yo. and a piccolo snare for those tight beats.
Sneak
USA - Friday, December 17, 2004 at 11:37:17 (EST)

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show up with a full kit and only play the snare. LOUDLY
CHANG
USA - Friday, December 17, 2004 at 11:24:54 (EST)

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I don't know what "tune" my co-robots want to "jam" out and I don't intend to find out. Alls I know is there's a clarinet and a trumpet involved and some guy plays this cool electric stand up bass.
chevvy
USA - Friday, December 17, 2004 at 11:21:19 (EST)

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Holy Shit! I think Lester is a FURRY! Fuck that's sick dude.
CHANG
USA - Friday, December 17, 2004 at 11:14:25 (EST)

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This is the lamest thing I've ever heard of. But yet I'm still going to run out and buy it.
Lester
USA - Friday, December 17, 2004 at 11:11:54 (EST)

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Wow. This guy is a true bad ass.
Lester
USA - Friday, December 17, 2004 at 11:08:56 (EST)

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That would be really funny if i showed up with those two.
CHANG
USA - Friday, December 17, 2004 at 10:47:58 (EST)

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Hey anyone remember the joke where maria throws her douchebag in the garbage? Then oscar the grouch drinks it and says he thought it was a capri sun? I cant remember the punchline. Something to do with "i wonder why they make tuna and vinegar flavor!" but I don't know.
The Real Ramona
USA - Friday, December 17, 2004 at 10:46:48 (EST)

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I had a potato for lunch yesterday.
McLester
USA - Friday, December 17, 2004 at 10:45:31 (EST)

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As far as same old, same old -- tonight is the X-mas party at the Ironically Named Fox Point bar. 6:00 til midnight.
Lester
USA - Friday, December 17, 2004 at 10:44:50 (EST)

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No shit. Shill's mouth has got to go. I bet randy Randy Big Unit wanted to go to the Yankees just to stiffle that fat faced festering jesus hole.
Are We Not Men?
USA - Friday, December 17, 2004 at 10:31:33 (EST)

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Ultimately. Company party runs until 9 pm. I will leave @ 8 so I can grab last train back to Providence.
The Yid Kid
USA - Friday, December 17, 2004 at 09:57:04 (EST)

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hey yid kid, you be at same old same old tonight?
CHANG
USA - Friday, December 17, 2004 at 09:39:00 (EST)

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If the Sox can't sign another top line pitcher, this guy has a live arm...
The Yid Kid
USA - Friday, December 17, 2004 at 09:20:49 (EST)

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Hey Lester! It's snack time you dirty mick.
CHANG
USA - Friday, December 17, 2004 at 08:59:26 (EST)

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all the negative pedro stuff on dirtdogs.com is just making me LOVE PEDRO EVEN MORE!!!! It's obvious that they are in ass love with the big mouth schill. Petey's right, schill didn't wait an hour to open his fat mouth. Fuck it I LOVE PEDRO and I hope he wins 30 next year. And those who don't like how pete negotiated? Well renteria did the same exact thing so get over it. Go sox! Go pedro! Eff Schill! Eff Tea-air-ee On-ree!
CHANG
USA - Friday, December 17, 2004 at 08:57:33 (EST)

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i just wanna know what tune your co-workers want to "jam out"
Chang
USA - Friday, December 17, 2004 at 05:06:59 (EST)

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pack up your duffle hustle up to sandy smile smile smile(have a bannana) laughs are the style and the skies are blue, that's the place for you HEY. what's the use of wandering? there's none can reach the beach so hustle up your duffle up your fun will double up at sandy beach. HEY!
troop 1 portsmouth
USA - Friday, December 17, 2004 at 05:04:20 (EST)

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I only wish I was jokin' about those "jams". It will not happen. It CANNOT happen. As for Benny "jams" I take it Plec threw out his back "workin' out"? dirty, nice codetalkin'; and on THAT note, good d...d...da...d....da....d....d....evening.
chevvie
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 19:03:02 (EST)

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Fuck ME you fuckers are funny. I'm wrapped in the meat and don't have time to think of funnies like yous. But fucking Chewie, I basically spit up my stewed prunes when I read the log about you "jamming" on drums with the cowokers-AT WORK. That is fucking GOLD! AND DJe, you MUST send that picture. I'll fucking POST IT! Also, do you still have that freakish picture of David Minehan?!
MJ®
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 18:32:51 (EST)

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EXTRY CREDIT: Use the word "meatpacking" in a sentence.
Sister Mary Elephant
- Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 18:28:04 (EST)

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may absolutely. deacon/taylor sure why not. other dood? not on yr life. no way. may sang enough for a good long set anyway. met may once. on a street in the frickin' meatpacking district....near elephant & castle maybe? stunned silence. a tenpence piece is pretty tiny for a plectrum. isn't that what he used to use?
boris
- Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 18:20:43 (EST)

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hey! remember me? my name is Yup!

USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 18:03:10 (EST)

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Disturbing thing about that fire code report - if they put Baby Head on the list, then did they actually bother to inspect ANY of the clubs?
ed
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 17:59:12 (EST)

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I'm the King of the Guidos!!!
Vinny Spaz
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 17:57:24 (EST)

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Meathead, didn't you hear that all the Salvation Army bell ringers this year are cardboard cutouts?!?! Whatever, I have plans to go eat German food tomorrow.
TS
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 17:55:49 (EST)

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SFX Entertainment, a promoter owned by Clear Channel, has bought an 85% share of Elvis Presley's estate and name.
Lester
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 17:13:04 (EST)

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hey. Lester ain't no Brad Pittance but he ain't no dog neither.
don doffen
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 17:10:10 (EST)

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"A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks - you think when Jesus comes back, he ever wants to see a fucking cross? Kind of like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on, you know?"

Happy birthday, Bill Hicks. Rest in peace.
Lester
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 16:52:26 (EST)

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Nebraska stripper to argue that 90 days is much too long a jail sentence for having sex on stage with a dog.
Lester
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 16:41:56 (EST)

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"You say fuck that, yo holmes fuck this!
I'm the king Ad-Rock and you're Dick Butkus"
Beastie Boys
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 16:40:16 (EST)

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A Mesage from the Bonk a Santa on the Noggin with a Chair Committee
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 16:29:23 (EST)

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don't make fun of me
a poo headed longpig
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 16:26:11 (EST)

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tio = to
not a jackson teo
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 16:25:00 (EST)

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MJ® -- i found a pic of us at the mean matt dillon party. 2 funny.
DJe <yet another posting>
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 16:24:59 (EST)

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the lapdogs are waking up and beginning tio bite back
a few months too late to do any good
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 16:24:26 (EST)

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wouldn't Dick Butkus be the best band name?
DJe
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 16:19:14 (EST)

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Please forgive me if I'm being insensitive to an actual long pig tree ornament, but what is that thing at the top of that choir tree with the star around it.
don doffen
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 16:11:47 (EST)

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there is nothing civic about a dex doodie
don't ask
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 15:48:28 (EST)

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oops, here be the story
mind still in fog from repeated dosing at dead shows over 3 decades
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 15:46:49 (EST)

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dex, when you're not doing civic doodies do you still make test fixtures for printed circuit boards? MJ®, i'm sure mattel© will send you a new smooth plate!
DJe
rio, USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 15:45:48 (EST)

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speaking of dinosaur rockers, I hope these dudes do a US leg.

ears still bleeding from Queen tour circa 1977
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 15:44:58 (EST)

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Fuck Airwolf

The cast of Blue Thunder
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 15:31:41 (EST)

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Anybody interested in having some Mexican leftovers?
warmed over chilly con carne
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 15:01:44 (EST)

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I'll have to wait to hear my song but DAMN I look hot in those glasses!
WR
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 14:59:34 (EST)

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BS holiday jam?

Deck my Meat with balls of, um,
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 14:53:42 (EST)

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43 questions and I stumped it with Allawi
proud of my dicktater knowledge
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 14:51:12 (EST)

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took 27 questions to come up with the murder monkey
needs own category of comic dictators
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 14:38:36 (EST)

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Just slap Lester upside the head if he gives you any lip. That little 4-eyed weasel challenged my second guess once, ONCE, and he learned.
Lester's Loving But Somewhat Impatient Mom
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 14:34:53 (EST)

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It thought I was thinking Hawk from Airwolf, when all I was thinking was TC
The Y!d K!d
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 14:32:50 (EST)

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Don't ever second guess me again.
Lester
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 14:04:53 (EST)

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ponderosa rat: 3 parts tequila, 1 part galliano, 1 part creme de menthe.
dirty
- Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 14:00:34 (EST)

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on second thought maybe you're right Lester and somebody fvked up on the edit job and they meant DON'T comply
sum second thought guy
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 13:56:16 (EST)

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Actually Lester I believe that list is suggesting Club Baby Head is in compliance. all clubs with the A in front of them ARE in compliance. What's more interesting is that they said these results were the result of inspections and Club Hell is listed as D- needs to get hooked up to muni system. Like to hear how the same address gets 2 different compliance expectations.
sitchyation normul all fupped duck
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 13:49:25 (EST)

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The city seems to think that Club Babyhead needs a new sprinkler system.
Lester
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 13:33:40 (EST)

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More RFID sh!z. This time the Providence Library is helping the bushbots follow your every move.
sticking to stealing books till they stop
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 13:31:09 (EST)

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I say we have all religious leaders buried and the ones that resurrect themselves can continue to preach.
putting the rid in good riddance
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 13:29:07 (EST)

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Cult leader proves his divinity by being buried alive and resurrecting himself. Except for the resurrecting bit.
Lester
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 13:09:51 (EST)

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Worst. Toy. Ever.
Lester
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 13:07:46 (EST)

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A Christmas greeting from WR?
Lester
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 12:58:08 (EST)

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Personally, I'm suprised he spelled "douchebag" correctly.
Lester
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 12:49:35 (EST)

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When is the BS holiday jam? I wanna do a thrash version of 'simply having a wonderful christmas time'.
KOL
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 12:49:21 (EST)

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"hey douchebags, how's it going? i can see not much"
hellOOOOOOOOO flegg
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 12:42:26 (EST)

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NEWSFLASH -- Vinny Paz arrested.
Lester
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 12:26:12 (EST)

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Pierced eyeglasses?
Lester
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 11:57:22 (EST)

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Martial arts for lester
CHONG BEER
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 11:49:00 (EST)

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Martial arts for Chong Lee.
Lester
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 11:47:36 (EST)

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Tim the Enchanter: That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on! Sir Robin: You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared! Tim the Enchanter: Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer! Sir Galahad: Get stuffed! Tim the Enchanter: He'll do you up a treat, mate. Sir Galahad: Oh yeah? Sir Robin: You mangy Scots git! Tim the Enchanter: I'm warning you! Sir Robin: What's he do? Nibble your bum? Tim the Enchanter: He's got huge, sharp - eh - he can leap about - look at the bones! King Arthur: Go on, Bors. Chop his head off! Bors: Right! Silly little bleeder. One rabbit stew comin' right up! Tim the Enchanter: I WARNED you, but did you listen to me? Oh, no, you know, didn't you? Oh, it's just a harmless little BUNNY, isn't it?
WR
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 11:47:03 (EST)

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I've been asked to join the holiday festivities at work by bringing in a drum and "jamming" with a few of the musicians here.
chevvy
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 11:43:52 (EST)

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Now that's a cute baby! Nice work, Chong.
WR
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 11:39:38 (EST)

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New video from Chong Lee Band.
Lester
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 11:30:10 (EST)

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and for 3 bucks more I'll throw in this nifty stage candid
stovin ottist
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 11:28:31 (EST)

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is that a blob hammock?

USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 11:25:47 (EST)

---

poor junior has dad's affliction
whatta face
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 11:25:30 (EST)

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Here ya go MJ. this is my rendition ready to be transfered to your car. Soon as I see 10 bucks, I'll be there with my crayolas.

WiF
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 11:24:15 (EST)

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"Tyson completes sentence."
He actually put nouns and verbs together properly for the first time.
Lester
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 11:24:09 (EST)

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don't tell chong jr about bill murray. I think he wants to see that movie
Chong
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 11:06:27 (EST)

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don't tell chong jr about bill murray. I think he wants to see that movie
Chong
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 11:05:59 (EST)

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funny bastard that is.
Brian Doyle M
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 10:49:23 (EST)

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I will pay ten dollars to the lurker that can paint a medically accurate portrait of me sitting on my toilet on the driver's side door of my '79 Chevette.
MJ®
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 10:44:40 (EST)

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three words- BEWARE THE BUNNY!
having wolf stuffed bambi for dinner
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 10:43:38 (EST)

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Bill Murray is a bastard. Or so says a movie cameraman.
Lester
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 10:38:59 (EST)

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Breakfast burger?
"The fact that they would have the wherewithal to invent a product that could choke a mule is something to be prideful of."
Lester
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 10:36:31 (EST)

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Breakfast burger?
"The fact that they would have the wherewithal to invent a product that could choke a mule is something to be prideful of."
Lester
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 10:36:15 (EST)

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maybe the lurk needs new plumbing. Perhaps this guy has the right attitude to get this lurk flushing properly.

WiF this
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 10:11:52 (EST)

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what this lurk needs is an enima

USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 09:32:58 (EST)

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A little patience, and we shall see the reign of witches pass over, their spells dissolve, and the people, recovering their true sight, restore their government to its true principles. It is true that in the meantime we are suffering deeply in spirit, and incurring the horrors of a war and long oppressions of enormous public debt. If the game runs sometimes against us at home we must have patience till luck turns, and then we shall have an opportunity of winning back the principles we have lost, for this is a game where principles are at stake.
Thomas Jefferson
- Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 09:22:10 (EST)

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when a remote controlled dildo doesn't get one response, I guess yes indeedy, 200,000+ lurks has left it all said
teledildonics
USA - Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 08:59:13 (EST)

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I'm more of a whinger than a whiner
WR
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 23:33:25 (EST)

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hey douchebags, how's it going? i can see not much from reading this lurk. i've been laying low for a while. so has anyone got over the election yet or are you all still whineing?
flegg
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 20:44:34 (EST)

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Right now i'm doing my part, as a model citizen, by serving on a jury in federal court!! Hey MJ, I thought it was a smooth plate?
Dexter
Bakefield,RI, USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 19:12:11 (EST)

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ps poor man's vic gif=funny
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 18:39:37 (EST)

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Hey DJE, that song took me to the TOP! The TOP I say! Hey, vic claims the Upper Crust are playing in Boston New year's Eve. Meat, can you get them to play your Amos House benefit in Providence? Imagine the IRONY but imagine the PROFITS!
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 18:39:03 (EST)

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poor man's v!c below, btw
ps
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 18:30:19 (EST)

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bah, good day
v!c
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 18:27:00 (EST)

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drumroll please...

USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 18:22:31 (EST)

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Meaty, will you be serving sauerkraut martinis on Friday?
TS
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 17:44:01 (EST)

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some sick sh!t: Deputies found dirty diapers and trash littering the room at the extended-stay motel, and baby bottles containing moldy milk and what could have been maggots, said sheriff's spokeswoman Barbara Miller.
chevvy
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 17:34:25 (EST)

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I guess that means the bank robbery didn't go well?
TS
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 17:28:31 (EST)

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SARCASTIC NEWSFLASH -- After twenty years, the missle defense shield still doesn't work.
Lester
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 17:10:21 (EST)

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Washington's new baseball team is already talking about moving.
Lester
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 17:07:18 (EST)

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hand full'a lurks today...I mean, after 200,000+ lurks, is there really much more to say?
chevvy
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 17:01:05 (EST)

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wurd
.
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 16:59:08 (EST)

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one more word- chirp
crickets
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 16:36:14 (EST)

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one word- teledildonics
use the Jackhammer button sparingly
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 15:00:51 (EST)

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MJ, The new shaver will not help! I think a machete weilding Don Doff is your best bet.
Muddy Briefs
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 14:52:56 (EST)

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i'd rather stand on the shoulders of, say, regis....

http://scholar.google.com/
dirty
- Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 14:44:47 (EST)

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"he's my brother's best friend's brother . . ."
DJe
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 14:36:38 (EST)

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MEATHEAD!!!
chevvy
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 14:10:43 (EST)

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MJ or Don, check candy email ASAP
v!c
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 14:01:42 (EST)

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friday nite: starts at 7.
11 bands
BYOB
maybe free food
bring cans or $$ for Amos House
from 7-Sarah Rabdau/Power Buffet/Mike Dolan Experience/Amazing Poundcakes/Fiji Mermen/Po'dunk/Sibling Rivalry/Kojo+the What/Jagolinzer/Another Poet's Band/Bucket of Blood
i have now used up my music-post allotment for the year 2005. pardon this outburst. location is available to those "in the know"
Canned Meat
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 13:56:25 (EST)

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PS to chevvy-it may not be PC but is it Mac?
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 13:43:14 (EST)

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cheffie, dexter, could one of you punk rockers let your bassplayer know he's got an email in his "inbox" from this dude?
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 13:42:25 (EST)

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Oh muddy briefs...Listen, someone ANYONE get me one of them there Beast Shavers for my own tangled dreadnot of an ass (and upper cheeks-and by upper cheeks I mean on the FACE)
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 13:31:49 (EST)

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The local sp.ed. is spazzing over the copy machine right now...I know it's not PC, but it's somewhat amusing.
chevvy
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 13:29:01 (EST)

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Lestre that kicked in the nuts bit was hysterical! It would behoove all lurkers to watch this bit and learn how to properly behave at punk shows.
Muddy Briefs
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 13:21:05 (EST)

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dude you musta been on early; i catch zo daily starting around 6:30. i want callahan and shaughnessy to have a death match with kerosene, blowtorches and zero survivors. by the way, the official state mineral of RI is bowenite.
doris
- Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 13:17:31 (EST)

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And here's one for the little people
The Y!d K!d
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 13:17:06 (EST)

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There's sand in Middleblob? You mean in the big ass ashtrays in the hotel lobby, right.
Blobby Blobberts
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 12:25:46 (EST)

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Let's just say the KOL is a loser and and was listening to the SCORE 99.7 and was the first caller on Monday. Scott Zolak is a big upgrade over Amy the annoying. Plus I was always a big fan of 'Clipboard' Zolak.
KOL
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 12:23:01 (EST)

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I hope that post had nothing to do with wookies.
chewz
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 12:22:43 (EST)

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just think, if they put up enough hotels they can completely cover all that ugly sand next to the water
sum sand hater
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 12:14:00 (EST)

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Dear Sears, I am the creator of the "Furwacker" electric BEAST SHAVER. Mine is the only beast shaver that works on all mammals and some large birds. (No cranes, please!). Being in the business, I'm sure you're aware of my difficulties. My "Furwacker" Beast Shaver is now available for licensing, and from my past dealins with Sears (I bought a tire and some socks), I feel obligated to offer you the first opportunity to license the rights... Many people care for unusual creatures. Did you know some states sell prairie ferrets as pets? Without Mother Nature, and I'm emphatic about this, even a hamster must be shaved. Also, I'm proud to say: During development NO guinea pigs were used as guinea pigs. The "Furwacker" is almost silent, featuring a purr sound causing MOST creatures to be still. (Except cranes). So, Sears, please tell me how I may get this into your stores so that soon it is the Kenmore FurWacker Beast Shaver? Thank you. I look forward to your reply. Hey, whatever happened to Roebuck? You never hear about him anymore. Respectfully,
Ted L. Nancy
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 12:13:25 (EST)

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This morning they read an excellent email from "Bill in R.I." who said why can't Schilling's mouth take a winter break? It was excellent. The kid said he was sick to death of Schill having to comment on everything from the presidential election to Pedro to Wells to the fucking Peterson case. So of course Dale and Neumy (or whoever the fucktards were) GO OFF on the letter and say that the guy must be lonely or very sad or WHATEVER.
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 12:12:45 (EST)

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I was gonna say middleblob needs a new hotel.
chevvy
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 12:09:53 (EST)

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frosty kidnapped
oompaloompas protest
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 11:43:30 (EST)

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I believe the word is- underwhelmed

may work up to underwhelmed by days end
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 11:35:24 (EST)

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Pedro has a torn labia? That explains a lot....
ed
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 11:35:24 (EST)

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Lester
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 11:27:44 (EST)

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NEWSFLASH -- RENTERIA SIGNS WITH RED SOX
Lester
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 11:24:56 (EST)

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Oh, dear Dog, no!!
Lester
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 11:14:51 (EST)

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Trust me on this one WR, it'll be back up to 71 rooms when built.
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 11:11:51 (EST)

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Fox's new reality show sinks to all new disgustingly low levels of awesomeness.
Lester
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 11:09:54 (EST)

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Like I said -- shoddy journalism.
Lester
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 11:08:16 (EST)

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Sextel?
Lester
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 11:07:19 (EST)

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Hey, this says ONLY 55 rooms
WR
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 11:02:55 (EST)

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The blond dude didn't even get to speak. Probably the reason we lost this one.
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 11:02:40 (EST)

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63 looks like 27 iffen ya squint
sorta
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 11:02:14 (EST)

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I think it's due to the recent lack of good journalists down in Middleblob.
Lester
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 11:01:43 (EST)

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Probably a repost, but good old fashioned crotch kicking never goes out of style.
Lester
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 10:59:01 (EST)

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Why bother having a zoning board? Your speech must have really sucked. "well after hearing the blonde dude from L7 speak we have decided to build a bigger hotel and also drag the bay for good measure"
Chang
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 10:55:09 (EST)

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Hey it's cool. Zoning allows for a 27 room hotel but our zoning board approved one for 63 rooms instead!
MJ®
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 10:48:24 (EST)

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it's always reasuring to know when the insane are presiding over you.
Chief Justice My Little Pony
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 10:37:41 (EST)

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talk about yer lap of luxury (I'll take 2 of the Kornikova model)
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 10:24:09 (EST)

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it quiet like lotus flower in here
chang
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 10:16:45 (EST)

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next it'll be the ten commandments tatooed on a judges forehead
complete with heston and paste on beard
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 10:12:09 (EST)

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all quiet on the western lurk...
chevvy
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 09:48:23 (EST)

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Today I feel like burninating all da peoples
Trogdor
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 09:18:44 (EST)

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is it just me, or is today uncannily similar to yesterday?
it was a new day yesterday but it's an old day now
USA - Wednesday, December 15, 2004 at 08:45:47 (EST)

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g'day
chewz
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 18:54:04 (EST)

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lucky lotto winner!

USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 17:09:52 (EST)

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garrot?

USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 17:04:03 (EST)

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Enemy of the CIA dies of MULTIPLE self-inflicted gunshots to the head??????
talk about yer magic bullets
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 16:57:03 (EST)

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bush awards 3 war criminals
surprise surprise
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 16:55:14 (EST)

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man
bites dog
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 16:49:35 (EST)

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hey meat, what be the iternerary fer that there friday night thingy
nipsy
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 16:29:44 (EST)

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more opiated breakdown
sleepy but not currently opiated
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 16:27:13 (EST)

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Vic thrust his love mound downwards towards the ever hungry teeth of his hand...
Vic's Editor
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 16:25:49 (EST)

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it was an opium induced dream that Coleridge was writing about
alph alph and yet more alph
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 16:24:21 (EST)

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s.t.c. was probably writing (or dreaming) about william wordsworth . . . revisited as the "sir laurence olivier and danny kaye story," which would SHOULD star martin short if i ever get the green light from matt & ben.
DJe
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 16:17:41 (EST)

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deep romantic chasm?
definitely dirty
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 15:53:10 (EST)

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real answer to Alph the river- mythic river as written about here by Samuel Taylor Coleridge in Kubla Khan-

In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
A stately pleasure-dome decree:
Where Alph, the sacred river, ran
Through caverns measureless to man
Down to a sunless sea.
So twice five miles of fertile ground
With walls and towers were girdled round:
And there were gardens bright with sinuous rills,
Where blossomed many an incense-bearing tree;
And here were forests ancient as the hills,
Enfolding sunny spots of greenery.
But oh! that deep romantic chasm which slanted
Down the green hill athwart a cedarn cover!
A savage place! as holy and enchanted
As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted
By woman wailing for her demon-lover!
And from this chasm, with ceaseless turmoil seething,
As if this earth in fast thick pants were breathing,
A mighty fountain momently was forced....
As if this earth in fast thick pants were breathing?? (sounds dirty too)
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 15:51:24 (EST)

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Is he a cockney Jew?
WR
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 15:37:35 (EST)

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I dunno. This.

USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 15:01:09 (EST)

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FUCK. It's 2:58 and other than a discussion about Todd Wilcox I haven't done fuck-all all day.
Doff to see the Pissard
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 14:56:04 (EST)

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Not to pass judgement on something I know absolutly nothing about (like books), but after reading an excerpt and seeing interviews of T. Wolfe on press junkets that book seems about as dull as dull can be, I must say.
don t. read
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 14:54:24 (EST)

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Sensitive, Caring Man Seeks Red Hot Tail---
Beep, Beep! flegg's my name and I love trucks! Big, sleek and powerful, trucks really make me hot! I'm currently searching for long-term relationship with red Chevy, silver Dodge or black Ford. No mid-size or foreign models, please. I like 'em big and buxom! I'm growing weary of empty relationships with trucks in mall parking lots and long-term airport parking and long for a truck of my very own. If pasty white flesh and red, lace-trimmed lingerie make your motor rev, contact

Capt. of the less Obvious
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 14:52:08 (EST)

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you called?

USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 14:51:39 (EST)

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Why, just this weekend I referred to a woman's er, 'power flower' as a 'wound'! Deja Vu, entre nous?
Grosso
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 14:45:05 (EST)

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AHHH! The wound that never heals! Or a particulary viscous vaginal infection! I get it. Thanks, Capt Obvious. You're a real pal!
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 14:39:50 (EST)

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silly MJ, it's next to a large exotic mushroom in the fork of a tree, a little pleasure dome if ever I've seen one, where Alph the sacred river ran down to a tideless sea.
Capt. Obvious reminds MJ of the "man in the boat"
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 14:32:34 (EST)

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umm..cuz I don' actually READ anybody's posts, um, could you tell me what the Alf river is...?
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 14:28:01 (EST)

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"they wondered whether it needed to be 'physically examined' to see if there was an anomaly in the balls' make-up which meant it was sucked out more often."
need balls I can count on
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 14:23:26 (EST)

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does the Ronco® Back Hair Braiding kit include the bonus set for for braiding the shrubbery along Alph the river?
already regretting I asked
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 14:22:23 (EST)

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thinking most of the oxford stuff is inaccessible to the gutenburgers. their stuff's mental i bet. also bet vic simply can't wait until the 'da doris code' starts including middle engrish.
da dirty
- Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 14:15:31 (EST)

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I'm sorry Donny boy, but you are not considered a human freak accident, just an accidental birth.
Drugsy
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 14:08:07 (EST)

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I'm sorry, but when a container of diesel fuel is placed on a fire and it explodes it is NOT a "freak accident"
The Human Freak Accident
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 14:04:31 (EST)

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The best thing I ever got for Christmas was a Ronco® Back Hair Braiding kit.
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 13:59:55 (EST)

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bah humbug
chewie
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 13:58:54 (EST)

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Someone has a project for me?

Steve Guttenberg
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 13:56:29 (EST)

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Alph the sacred river?
still scratchin my balls about that one
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 13:54:45 (EST)

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"(It was) like a large exotic mushroom in the fork of a tree, a little pleasure dome if ever I've seen one, where Alph the sacred river ran down to a tideless sea. No, not tideless. Her tides were convulsive, an ebb and flow that could take you very far, far back, before hurling you out, wildly and triumphantly, on a ribbed and windswept beach without end."
a smallish non-exotic mushroom in the fork of a twig
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 13:53:17 (EST)

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a library card is the best gift I ever got
honest testimonial from an otherwise notoriously unreliable lurker
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 13:39:02 (EST)

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Perhaps Google has forgotten about Project Gutenberg. Maybe they could just index what's already been accomplished without scanning whole books and then not allowing people to read them in total.
WR
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 13:31:49 (EST)

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I've changed my mind. This is what I want for X-mas.
Lester
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 13:29:26 (EST)

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Public service announcement (to late for chewy, though)

">Lester
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 13:13:07 (EST)

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hereby and forthwith i shall consider myself damned.
boris
- Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 13:08:59 (EST)

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Nope, but they perfected it.
Lester
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 12:57:24 (EST)

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Dem Canucks didn't invent no curling.

it is not hard to imagine a man, hundreds or even thousands of years ago, who weighed a smooth, heavy rock in his hand, then watched and listened with fascination as he launched it along a glistening bed of ice on a frozen river.
a scotsman with a broom and stone at the ready
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 12:39:56 (EST)

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frying pan
fire
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 12:35:42 (EST)

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"You see, curlers have raw talent. God gave them the gift to push a rock across ice with extreme accuracy."
Lester
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 12:33:33 (EST)

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media-ocre
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 12:33:19 (EST)

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article relevant to ALL lurkers.
I talk to imaginary people too
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 12:32:02 (EST)

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shits
e
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 12:29:06 (EST)

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tits
d.
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 12:17:20 (EST)

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its
c.
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 12:14:33 (EST)

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this cuts a little too close to home...

USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 12:13:52 (EST)

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that diesel fuel thing is Darwinism at it's best
chewie
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 12:12:55 (EST)

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Canadian MP takes on tampon tax. It's going to be a bloody debate with no-strings-attached legislation.
Lester
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 11:59:22 (EST)

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"They set a plastic container with a small amount of diesel fuel on top of the wood, thinking it would melt and saturate the wood." It didn't.
Lester
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 11:58:13 (EST)

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RIP -- Joseph "Jumpin' Joe" Beyrle
"And I knew I wasn't dead, because angels don't speak German."
Lester
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 11:55:56 (EST)

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the Shrub looks like he's made out of RAISINS!
chewie
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 11:32:52 (EST)

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then I must damn you, good sir
v!c
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 11:25:28 (EST)

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yes.
boris
- Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 11:12:54 (EST)

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more from Unocal, that lovely company behind bush I, Clinton, and bush II's support of the Taliban and our pals in Al Queda. (puppet Karzai was the Afghani Unocal point man)
murder, slavery..... yada yada
USA - Tuesday, December 14, 2004 at 10:56:13 (EST)

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the bush monkey portrait in question