lurkive 9-23dec03
NEW! Benny FAN site!

WR
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 15:26:33 (EST)

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Don't feel bad boris -- I'm currently wearing a g@y-@ss FID's shirt.
Lester
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 15:14:24 (EST)

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OH NO--Mother Jefferson is the new stealth lurker?
WR
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 15:12:08 (EST)

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wearing same m-ball shirt right now. not scary.
boris
- Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 15:01:13 (EST)

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USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 14:58:35 (EST)

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Still frightened by the conjunction of the word "governor" with "arnold schwarzenegger"
WR
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 14:41:12 (EST)

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Oh no, the king of lurk has gone beserk.--fire his @ss
WR
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 14:37:32 (EST)

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Rush Limbaugh: Meanie Democrats rammed those thousands of hits of Oxycontin down my fat gullet!
boris
- Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 14:27:11 (EST)

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Donaldiñho's "Other Band"
boris
- Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 14:22:57 (EST)

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I am about to go insane from hearing 'food noises' from someone who is apparently eating gum/a pen cap/their own tongue next to me. How the F do you slurp a stick of big red?
The KOL
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 14:22:23 (EST)

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Bridezilla is in trouble with the law again.
Lester
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 14:21:48 (EST)

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Now I'm afraid who the next picture from "the wedding of the century" will be of.
WR
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 14:16:02 (EST)

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Lunch for a toothless Mean Joe
Lester
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 14:14:59 (EST)

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donaldiñho did you corrupt another perfectly innocent footie fan?
boris
- Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 14:12:39 (EST)

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Free trial Chong. Now trial will cost you Chinaman. Best get back on your rickshaw. Rickshaw boy!
Don
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 14:02:53 (EST)

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USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 14:00:13 (EST)

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the frickin UK Guardian just gave out their Best Blogs of 2003 awards, and one under 'best-written' is by a London ho'....err.....i mean call girl.
boris
- Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 13:53:48 (EST)

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boris be layin' down da funnizzy shitdizzy right about NA
Lurk Doggy Dog
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 13:52:47 (EST)

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and BTW, who let Burr back on the lurk?
WR
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 13:51:58 (EST)

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I luv Hell comes to Frogtown--one of my all-time favs
WR
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 13:50:34 (EST)

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Maybe it was Cousin Larry
Lester
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 13:39:44 (EST)

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"metohkangmi" also means "me toes are killin' me"
boris
- Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 13:39:43 (EST)

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maybe it was one of the TampOFFs...?
vic
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 13:30:52 (EST)

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fucking filthy snowman...that's a laugh riot...seriously
the black yeti
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 13:30:11 (EST)

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HAHA VERY FUNNY WHOEVER YOU ARE
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 13:29:53 (EST)

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The Yeti's hands and feet consist of four fingers each. About a dozen people have claimed to have seen the Yeti. Among those include the father of Tenzing Norge Sherpa, the first person to climb Everest. Like the father of Tenzing, most of the others who saw the Yeti felt sick and then died a few days after they saw it.
boris
- Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 13:29:18 (EST)

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MJ, insert one of these every hour on the hour...

USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 13:26:34 (EST)

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Known in Tibetan as metohkangmi, meaning filthy snowman, sources have been told the Yeti is the protector of the doors to Shambala. Perhaps that explains why most who come in contact with the creature soon leave their body?
boris
- Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 13:25:40 (EST)

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THE HOLIDAY RAG-IS THAT A SCOTT JOPLIN NUMBER?
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 13:25:15 (EST)

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dirty, you may want to snap the pink chocolate chalkline...
gunner yeti
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 13:25:11 (EST)

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PS- That post about me=Karen Adams without the scary nazi at the defecatur party=funny. And King of Lurk? never you mind about the lurk love. The BSTC got some matchmaking up his ole sleeve.
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 13:24:05 (EST)

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SOMEone's on the holiday rag...
vic
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 13:23:52 (EST)

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BASTARDS I HATE YOU ALL. VIC, LARRY APPLETON RHYMES WITH YOUR HAIRY ASS. BORIS, AT LEAST WE HAD A FAN SITE. LESTER, I HEARD YOUR PARTY BLEW. THE DEFECATUR PARTY WAS GOOD CUZ NO CHONG.
MJ®
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 13:22:12 (EST)

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what rhymes with Larry Appleton?
vic
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 13:18:34 (EST)

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USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 13:06:08 (EST)

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yo BSTC yon fan site est mort...
boris
- Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 12:30:04 (EST)

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I can only damn you to hell for that Lester.
vic
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 12:12:40 (EST)

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Lester
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 11:57:29 (EST)

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....as opposed to the guy who knows the names of the two guys in Nelson.
boris
- Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 11:50:10 (EST)

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Lester talkin' sh!t on appearances...amazing
vic
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 11:50:07 (EST)

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I'm a dumbass? I call that bold talk for a guy who chooses to look like one of the dudes in Nelson.
Lester
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 11:48:55 (EST)

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Drunken Christmas game
Lester
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 11:43:08 (EST)

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Is Latin food any good?
D. Ass
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 11:41:47 (EST)

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Nunc est bibendum.
boris
- Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 11:35:56 (EST)

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Hey! I can't wait to read that book. If the line @ Borders wasn't so dogdamned long the other day I would have it now. The King of Lurk doesn't stand in line. And whats this about lurk luv? Behold the greatest band of all time:

The King of Lurk
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 11:35:43 (EST)

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hey wait one minute...
dirty
- Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 11:32:45 (EST)

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see now Lester tries to impress the lurk with his limited knowledge of Latin then in the next breath fucks up simple HTML...ergo Lester=dumbass
vic
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 11:27:19 (EST)

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SHIT!
This is Flegg's new tattoo

Lester
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 11:24:28 (EST)

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Flegg's new tattoo

Lester
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 11:23:16 (EST)

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Vicious Hippy! Vicious Hippy!
Verbal Asphalt
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 11:22:17 (EST)

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Vic has long hair but is not (technically) a girl. Ergo, he is a dirty hippy. Quid erat demonstrandum.
Lester
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 11:10:41 (EST)

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see, now Lester is doing his part; but if vic's a hippie then the legend of Sasquatch is real...
vic
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 10:58:58 (EST)

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Fuck you, vic!
Lester
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 10:55:30 (EST)

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hey i did my part with the umbrellas and the squirrels and the helium enema.
boris
- Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 10:41:50 (EST)

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there's a little too much "luv" on the lurk...how about a little more hate & discontent?
vic
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 10:39:29 (EST)

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Times Square? Looks more like my colon after a big bowl of hot mexican pad thai with curry.
Drugsy
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 09:51:35 (EST)

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360 degree panarama of Times Square
Lester
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 09:29:54 (EST)

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7.5 cents of every dollar spent in the US goes to Wal-Mart.
Lester
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 07:54:40 (EST)

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Sea monkeys, the KKK, X-ray specs, and motorcycle racing.
RIP -- Harold von Braunhut
Lester
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 07:47:12 (EST)

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yeah tron and you wonder why i'm cranky. joe thinks i'm flegg and all my teams universally lick the dangling satchel. rhody did beat PC and the costner logo is still undefeated, i admit. but relegation? spurs? not this season anyway. you wish. arsen*l pantywaist. consumer of beverages with umbrellas. dainty lace wearer. molester of squirrels. on the other hand spurs fans are sure you'd rather play wolves more, or get hammer hummers.

dexter. you north of NK on a non-gig night? please. cheffy had a better shot at making that drive from 2-300 miles away.

ok i got shit to do. vent complete. happy christmas eve eve.
boris
- Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 07:42:21 (EST)

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Can I play? Planet earth may be out of helium by the year 2010. Which sucks, because one thing I kinda want to do before I die is ram a helium hose up the ass of Fran effing Drescher. Legend says the sounds that subsequently come out of her mouth will reverse global warming and neutralize all the nukes on the planet. As opposed to her current sound, which merely makes humans cringe, cats puke and dogs poo on the carpet.
boris
pooville, - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 07:29:42 (EST)

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Flegg?

Lester
USA - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 07:16:17 (EST)

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Listen to me dexter, you can do it. If ole MJ can break the forcefield on the Mount Hope, you can do it on the Wickford man!
MJ®
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 21:55:21 (EST)

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Was heading to Defacatur on Sat. but couldn't find my way outta SoCo. I'd get to the Wickford bridge, and it was like a force field, I tried 3 or 4 times. Then just drove around Bakefield. I came across a party on Broad Rock Rd., crashed it, drank all their beer, did all the chicks, and went home, after the Patriots game, of coarse.
Dexter
Bakefield, USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 21:53:16 (EST)

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falso orgot=also forgot
Spallcheck
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 21:51:50 (EST)

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And one more glistening pearl for me to poop on: Boris, you sent the BSTC a pinch, no? BSTC forgot to say thanks and falso orgot to pinch. Too mutherlovin' beeswax. Will get on the Captain like flegg to liberals.
MJ®
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 21:50:04 (EST)

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And to the lovesick stealth lurker-that sucks. What timing. I think it would really work. No shit. No shit I do. Lurk love will have to do for the time being.
MJ®
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 21:48:06 (EST)

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can't believe I'm going to agree with flegg on one thing but yes, Monster Garage is on right now and here I am lurking. They're making a firebrid into a Santa float that does a wheelie. Much like Boris's Ninja friend doing a wheel stand in the bucket. Sick shit. Anyway, Boris, riding the bus=most admirable. Been meaning to give you props for years.
MJ®
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 21:46:07 (EST)

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Well I see the roughhousing with the new kid has worn off a little, and lurk civility has regained her composure for the time being. But that still won't save Spurs from the relegation zone.
One Don Shotdon
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 21:14:43 (EST)

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don't forget boys and girls, there's a new episode of monster garage and american choppers on tonight. make sure you watch as there will be a quiz on the shows for tommorows class.
flegg
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 20:35:05 (EST)

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wouldn't last one day. rather be a semi-pro spelunker who goes through thierry henry's recycle bin on weekends for fun.
boris
- Monday, December 22, 2003 at 20:27:48 (EST)

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tell me about driving dude. i drive a tractor trailer for a living people are fucking insane behind the wheel. i almost get killed or kill some idiot at least once a day no bullshit.
flegg
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 20:19:40 (EST)

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we own two grand prix (prickses?), one of which i drive but only when forced. someone recently told me they're good and specifically said they're second only to bonnevilles. at that point i specifically remember shrugging. it is reliable and screws somewhat (V6). i can't believe i'm writing about cars.

see, problem is, i just genuinely, genuinely, dislike driving. more than that. I EFFIN' HATE IT. because people suck and buses are safer and allow you to read instead of screaming at assholes who just almost killed you. again. and it's gotten worse as drivers get worse.
boris
- Monday, December 22, 2003 at 20:13:54 (EST)

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ALRIGHT YOU FREAKS!! PUT DOWN THE MICE and slowly STEP AWAY from the CPU!!
ENOUGH OF THIS COMMIE CRAP!!

Sargent Koala
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 20:03:57 (EST)

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good story but why are you riding the bus? you don't have a car?well son todays your lucky day. welcome to honest flegg's used car sales.todays special:i990 pontiac bonneville sse fully loaded runs like a champ. owned by a really cool dude from pawtucket r.i.i will sell it to you for the bargain basement price of 1500.00 american dollars, thats right 1,500.00 dollars son.original owner was a little old lady from walla walla washington.
flegg
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 20:03:19 (EST)

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was he carrying a sheep?
maybe he was a Flegg's Angel
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 19:54:23 (EST)

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ten hours a day if i'm lucky. true story: friday, some dood ripped the biggest effin' wheelie i ever saw while waiting for the lovely and fragrant pawtucket #99. i apologize to the motorcycle nuts on the lurk for not getting the model and year but...totally effin' cuckoo. plus, had just finished the ceremonial "thank dog i didn't choke any of these frickin' losers today" post-work one-hitter, so everything was kinda vivid anyway. ducked behind a gotdam pole. almost drew mud. scared the living CRAP outta me. effin' nit was undoubtedly laffin' his balls off at me. had to be doing at least 70 -- at least -- when he blew past me about ¼ mile from his launch, which was about the midpoint of his wheelie. completely crazy. bastid. had to laugh once i stopped swearing.
boris
- Monday, December 22, 2003 at 19:48:52 (EST)

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HOTNESS ALERT CHART
=
better late than never Dept.
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 19:39:53 (EST)

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i'm probably the ONLY lurker from the bucket.
flegg
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 19:24:26 (EST)

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as opposed to FLEGGING a live sheep...



USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 19:20:23 (EST)

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MJ tore the place up, vic. like Karen Allen in Raiders of the Lost Ark, but without the evil Nazi busting in and getting his hand burnt by the medallion...would've been a nice entrance for flegg, too...
Casting Director
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 19:16:06 (EST)

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Flogging a dead horse

USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 19:10:20 (EST)

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Okay, maybe just the one hit, but still I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that Flegg may just be the most popular lurker from Pawtucket...
MJ®
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 19:07:59 (EST)

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I do believe that if you locally google up flegg right here on this very page you get quite a number of hits. It's official- Flegg from Fleggsburgh is the most popular lurker.
MJ®
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 19:04:56 (EST)

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ok, both those links sucked @ss. this'll work.
Dreyfuss again
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 19:01:57 (EST)

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i bet fleggburgh is quite a town.probably not as good as pawtucket but better than middleblob.
flegg
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 19:01:04 (EST)

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no, not like that you fool, like this?
perhaps?
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 18:57:45 (EST)

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poop,poooooooop,pooooooooooooooop,and finally poop.
poop
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 18:57:05 (EST)

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you guys are so cool. can i hang around with you,please?
flegg
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 18:55:54 (EST)

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and finally, this...

USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 18:54:20 (EST)

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well the cats outta the bag now. thats me.
flegg
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 18:53:33 (EST)

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AND this...

USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 18:52:45 (EST)

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like this, vic?
Chief Inspector Dreyfuss
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 18:52:09 (EST)

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if you image Google "flegg" this comes up among other things...

USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 18:51:48 (EST)

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How could you leave me for them scruffy punk rock chicks, flegg?
LeAnn Rhymes
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 18:45:50 (EST)

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if I may paraphrase Inspector Dreyfuss..."It's Clouseau....keeeeeeeeell heeeeeeeeem!!!! ahahahahaha!!!"
vic
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 18:44:15 (EST)

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KILL FLEGG huh? well boys and girls it looks like i'm doing my job right if you all want to kill me.next time theres a party give me the lowdown i'll come on down and buy y'all a round.it's nice to know i've made some new friends.
flegg
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 18:38:05 (EST)

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i keed, i keed...



USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 18:37:31 (EST)

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MJ? cat? do lunch? you kid...
vic
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 18:32:49 (EST)

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EXPECT IT WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT!
Stealthy Cat
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 18:30:55 (EST)

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Method of Transportation: The Martian Maggot, an interplanetary spaceship.

First Appearance: Haredevil Hare (1948) opposite Bugs Bunny.

Plan: Blow up Earth with Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator because Earth blocks his view of Venus.
boris
- Monday, December 22, 2003 at 18:28:46 (EST)

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MJ, you actually went out?
vic
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 18:27:38 (EST)

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And agreed, PGIT, terror alert chart =FUNNY. WR, nothin' wrong with a bad ass wagon either. Sure, it ain't no Jesse James creation but it'll still get you chicks.
MJ®
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 18:26:28 (EST)

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JEZUZ DOG. Looks like we got us a little party goin' on. What up Lurkers? EXCELLENT to see so many of you Saturday night down at the Defecatur for TS's goin' away potty. Jeez. TS, why you gotta go and leave us? I better be able to tune into Miami Lurk once you get your ass set up in front of a computee. And fuckin CROC fer chrissakes. Got introduced to a mystery lurker not a one of you even KNOWS about. This cat is STEALTH indeed. And the number one comment from all lurker's present? "KILL FLEGG"
MJ®
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 18:23:55 (EST)

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yes i did. i also beat a.i.d.s.,bulimia,v.d.,cancer of the balls, halitosis,scoliosis,hepatitis a,b,c&d,male pattern baldness,the common cold,liberalism,cannibalism,and i stopped listening to country&western.
flegg
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 18:14:17 (EST)

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thanks. are you familiar with my work? i'm particularly proud of this one-
Well, some like it, some don't. The reason as far as I can tell is that it is simply such an incredibly, unbelievably horrible movie that it defies expectation or even imagination, to the point of being amusing in a way. If you think you can conceive of how bad this movie is, you are mistaken. You can't.
check it out some time!
Roddy
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 18:06:12 (EST)

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flegg did you really beat anorexia?
vic
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 17:58:17 (EST)

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that was real cute lester if i could figure out how to put pictures in this fucking thing i'd retaliate.
flegg
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 17:49:26 (EST)

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or WHO'D'VE for fuck's sake
vic
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 17:30:54 (EST)

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excellent point Piper...how'd've thought aliens would come in the form of pampered rich sluts?
vic
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 17:29:30 (EST)

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silly wabbits, don't you know the aliens have already landed?
Rowdy Roddy Piper
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 17:16:42 (EST)

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the YETI SETI: 5055 hours
yetster
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 16:41:37 (EST)

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find any green ones, dirty?
black YETI
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 16:40:31 (EST)

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SETI: 3 yrs
boris
- Monday, December 22, 2003 at 16:36:11 (EST)

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IG-let, you gettin' a new wallet for xmas?
vic
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 16:15:55 (EST)

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the chart, i mean. grrr.
IT
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 15:54:44 (EST)

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PGit! keep your peepers peeled...
vic
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 15:54:02 (EST)

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terror alert=funny
PG
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 15:52:08 (EST)

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war is hell...and so are the holidays
vic
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 15:26:32 (EST)

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last minute gift idea for most honorable Chongy..
Instructions-
Thoroughly shower or bathe; it's best to leave the backside somewhat damp...
wax on, whacks off
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 15:10:38 (EST)

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California Uber Alles.
Lester
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 14:00:35 (EST)

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yo flegg and the gang,letters from the front, courtesy of your homeboy Michael Moore-
“You'd be surprised at how many of the guys I talked to in my company and others believed that the president's scare about Saddam's WMD was a bunch of bullshit and that the real motivation for this war was only about money....Even some of the most radical conservatives in our company including our company gunnery sergeant got a real bad taste in their mouth about the Marine corps, and maybe even president Bush.”

and this- "I asked him what kind of side arm they gave him and his fellow drivers. He explained, "Sir, Reservists are not issued side arms or flack vests as there was not enough money to outfit all the Reservists, only Active Personnel". I was appalled to say the least. Bush is a jerk agreed, but I can't believe he is this big an Asshole not providing protection and arms for our troops to fight HIS WAR!”

and in conclusion, written by M.M.-"In fact, all that these kids in the army ask for in return from us is our promise that we never send them into harm's way unless it is for the DEFENSE of our nation, to protect us from being killed by "the enemy." And that promise, my friends, has been broken. It has been broken in the worst way imaginable. We have sent them into war NOT to defend us, not to protect us, not to spare the slaughter of innocents or allies. We have sent them to war so Bush and Company can control the second largest supply of oil in the world. We have sent them into war so that the Vice President's company can bilk the government for billions of dollars. We have sent them into war based on a lie of weapons of mass destruction and the lie that Saddam helped plan 9-11 with Osama bin Laden. By doing all of this, Mr. Bush has proven that it is HE who does not support our troops. It is HE who has put their lives in danger, and it is HE who is responsible for the nearly 500 American kids who have now died for NO honest, decent reason whatsoever.

there's some good stuff at the end about helping troops+their families. so who do you like for President next time around, flegg? Sharpton?
Triumph the Insulted Political Dog <forme@poop.on>
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 13:54:33 (EST)

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Chong?
Lester
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 13:36:06 (EST)

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cannabalism in itself is not a crime in Germany.
WR
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 13:11:15 (EST)

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"he's just a happy guy.."
"boy , is he happy.."
feel the cheer...
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 13:06:31 (EST)

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it's official: the hellidays are hell
vic
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 12:58:02 (EST)

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Lester
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 12:41:42 (EST)

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Is that you Bubbles?

USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 12:16:45 (EST)

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Lester, .... ... I want to kiss you.
Joe N.
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 12:11:21 (EST)

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vic's in the market for an auto...better make it silver too
vic
USA - Monday, December 22, 2003 at 12:09:23 (EST)

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What about me? Am I not worthy of your attention?